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DOCTOR WHO
THE ANDROIDS OF TARA

Written by
David Fisher

Part Three

(Overlap from 'I, Princess Strella')

[INT. Coronation room]

ZADEK: (producing his rapier) Are you mad?!
ARCHIMANDRITE: Seize him! He's killed the princess!
(The princess's wig has come off, and we see a flesh-coloured bald head with a sizeable hole in it from the Doctor's attack.)
FARRAH: Stop! That's not the princess!
ARCHIMANDRITE: It's an android.
ZADEK: How did you know?
DOCTOR: A circuit must have been faulty. I heard it spark.
GRENDEL: And who might you be, pray?
ARCHIMANDRITE: But it doesn't make sense. Why send an android to swear loyalty to the king?
DOCTOR: To get close enough to kill him.
ARCHIMANDRITE: But who would want to kill the king?
DOCTOR: Ah.
ARCHIMANDRITE: Unless...
GRENDEL: My dear Archimandrite, what are you suggesting?
ZADEK: Treachery against his Majesty.
GRENDEL: Take care what you say, Zadek. Your Eminence, I suggest we postpone the oath-taking for the time being. Who knows how many other programmed androids there may be?
(People murmur.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: You think there are more?
GRENDEL: It is a possibility we must face, your Eminence. I shall leave my own personal guard here to protect his Majesty.
ZADEK: I'm afraid I cannot permit that, Count.
GRENDEL: It is not for you to say.
ZADEK: As commander of his Majesty's bodyguard, it is my decision and mine alone.
GRENDEL: You presume too much, Zadek. Well, what does his Majesty have to say on the matter? He is very quiet.
DOCTOR: Ahem. His Majesty is very tired. Can't you talk about this tomorrow?
GRENDEL: Who the devil are you, sir?
DOCTOR: I'm the King's doctor.
ARCHIMANDRITE: Is his Majesty ill?
DOCTOR: No, nothing a nice rest won't cure. He'll be all right tomorrow.
ARCHIMANDRITE: I understand, Doctor. Come, Count. We must allow his Majesty to rest.
GRENDEL: But what of the danger?
DOCTOR: What possible danger can his Majesty be in from his own personal bodyguard, Count?
(The ARCHIMANDRITE and GRENDEL leave while the GUARDS remain.)
ZADEK: Will he be all right tomorrow?
DOCTOR: Not unless I can recharge his power packs and repair his speech circuits.

[INT. Lamia's lab]

(LAMIA takes the segment, from which she is still trying to obtain a sample for analysis, to a machine. A GUARD shoves ROMANA into the lab.)
LAMIA: (with segment in hand) Is this yours?
ROMANA: Yes.
LAMIA: What is it?
ROMANA: What is it?
LAMIA: Yes. What is it made of?
ROMANA: Oh, I've no idea. I only found it the other day.
LAMIA: It's like no substance I have ever seen before. I have blunted two diamond drills on it.
ROMANA: Well, perhaps it's some kind of quartz.
LAMIA: This is no quartz.
ROMANA: Well, if you don't want it, could I have it back? You've no use for it, have you?
LAMIA: Oh, I don't suppose it matters. What could you possibly do with it? No.
ROMANA: Why not?
LAMIA: I'm curious. It looks as though it might be part of something.
ROMANA: Part of what?
(GRENDEL rushes in, with TILL behind him.)
GRENDEL: It failed. The machine failed. That doctor saw at once it was an android.
LAMIA: My Lord, I did warn you it wasn't ready.
ROMANA: What doctor?
GRENDEL: Oh, some strange doctor who's attending the prince.
LAMIA: We hold the real prince. What you have seen must have been an android.
GRENDEL: Obviously. Do you know this doctor?
ROMANA: No.
GRENDEL: I think you do. Lamia, prepare another android. An exact copy precise to the last detail. I have an idea. Our guest can help us.

[INT. The king's chambers]

(The android prince sits with the back of his head open.)
K9: Master.
DOCTOR: K9?
K9: I have located the mistress. She is in Castle Gracht.
DOCTOR: Are you sure?
K9: Affirmative, Master. I detected her presence quite distinctly.
DOCTOR: Good. Well, that means the count has Romana, the real princess, and the prince.
ZADEK: So Grendel now holds all the cards.
DOCTOR: No, I wouldn't say that. We've still got a prince of sorts.
ZADEK: He has to attend the convocation with the Archimandrite and the priests. Will he be able to?
DOCTOR: Well, K9, what would happen if I connect the carbon circuit to the silicon circuit? How long would they last?
(K9 extends his probe toward GEORGE.)
DOCTOR: Come on, K9.
K9: Three hours nine minutes and ten point seven seconds. Approximately.

[INT. Lamia's lab]

(ROMANA is on the couch again, this time with a metal circlet around her head. We hear computers.)
GRENDEL: Comfortable, my dear?
LAMIA: My Lord?
GRENDEL: What is it?
LAMIA: These are like no alpha waves I have ever seen before.
GRENDEL: What do you mean?
LAMIA: She is not Taran.
GRENDEL: Then what is she?
LAMIA: I don't know. I need more time for evaluation. (She activates something else in front of her.)
GRENDEL: Time we don't have, my dear. Just program another android to kill, that's all, but this time make sure it's a perfect copy.
LAMIA: Yes, my Lord.

[INT. The king's chambers]

DOCTOR: Go on, ask him a question. Go on.
ZADEK: The question of monastic lands. That's bound to come up at the convocation. What is his Majesty's position on that?
GEORGE: Monastic lands are held by the religious orders under the protection of the Crown. Those lands and that protection may be withdrawn at my discretion at any time.
ZADEK: Good.
GEORGE: I propose to be discreet for the time being.
ZADEK: Yes. Doctor, the prince-
GEORGE: King.
ZADEK: Oh, quite so, your Majesty.
DOCTOR: Zadek.
ZADEK: Oh, drat. I keep forgetting he's only an android. Doctor, the king seems to be, how shall I say, a trifle more...
DOCTOR: Intelligent than the real one? Well, of course he is. I programmed him.
ZADEK: We don't want him too intelligent, Doctor. You can't trust androids, you know.
DOCTOR: It's funny, you know. That's what some androids say about people.
ZADEK: What?
DOCTOR: Anyway, how can you possibly be frightened of something that goes 'pfft' if it short-circuits?
(FARRAH enters.)
FARRAH: Someone to speak to the Doctor, sir.
ZADEK: Who?
(TILL enters.)
DOCTOR: Aah.
TILL: My name is Till. I am but a servant to the count.
ZADEK: And what do you want?
TILL: My mission is with the doctor, Swordsman, not with thee.
FARRAH: You dare to refuse to speak to a Master of the Sword?
TILL: Swordsman, I will speak only to the doctor. Those are my orders.
DOCTOR: Quite right too. Quite right. We peasants have got to stick together. Now then, what can I do for you, huh?
(The DOCTOR takes TILL to the side.)
TILL: I have a message from Madame Lamia.
DOCTOR: Lamia?
TILL: Yeah, she's Count Grendel's woman, a peasant.
DOCTOR: Well?
TILL: She would have me tell you that she fears for the count's safety.
DOCTOR: Why?
TILL: Now they've crowned the android king, the count is politically powerless.
DOCTOR: Shh. Come over here.
FARRAH: I suppose he can be trusted?
GEORGE: Who, the servant or the Doctor?
FARRAH: The Doctor, of course. (to ZADEK) He can be trusted, can't he, sir?
ZADEK: I wish we knew more about him.
FARRAH: There's only one way to settle this.
K9: Do not activate your sword.
FARRAH: Good dog. Good dog.
(The DOCTOR returns.)
DOCTOR: Lamia's offered us a deal.
ZADEK: What?
DOCTOR: Romana in exchange for the safe conduct out of the country of Count Grendel.
ZADEK: You refused, of course.
DOCTOR: No, no, I accepted. I'm to take a written undertaking from you and the king for Grendel's safety, then Lamia and her friends will pass Romana over to me.
FARRAH: It's an obvious trap. You can't go.
DOCTOR: Yes, I can.
ZADEK: Where is the meeting to take place?
DOCTOR: At a place called the Pavilion of the Summer Winds. Do you know where it is?
ZADEK: Yes. It's on Grendel's estate, in the woods near the castle.
DOCTOR: Good. I shall have to go alone, of course. It's funny - they always want you to go alone when you're walking into a trap. Have you noticed that?

[INT. Lamia's lab]

GRENDEL: You've excelled yourself, my dear Lamia. It's absolutely perfect. Don't you agree?
ROMANA: (coldly) The Doctor'll spot it immediately.
GRENDEL: In the dark at a distance of twenty feet? I think not, my dear.
ROMANA: He'll know it's a trap.
GRENDEL: Of course! That's what gives the situation such a delicious edge.
ROMANA: He won't come.
GRENDEL: You underestimate your friend, my dear. Of course he'll come. What else could he do? It's his only chance of rescuing you. Oh, he'll be very careful, very cautious. He'll bide his time, but sooner or later he must find out if that figure in the pavilion is you or not. And when he does... Show her, Lamia.
(LAMIA wheels out and uncovers a tailor's dummy. She has a control.)
DOCTOR'S VOICE [OC]: Hello, Romana. How are you?
(The ANDROID steps toward the dummy, and a big blue energy bolt hits the dummy in the chest.)
GRENDEL: Rather ingenious, don't you think? You are to be congratulated, my dear.
ROMANA: How did you get the voice?
LAMIA: The count's man, Till, recorded his voice patterns when they parleyed. Once I have the pattern, the construction of speech is a simple matter.
ROMANA: It won't work.
GRENDEL: Why not?
ROMANA: Well, supposing the Doctor doesn't speak?
LAMIA: The android is also programmed to kill in various other ways.
GRENDEL: You see before you the complete killing machine, as beautiful as you and as deadly as the plague. If only she were real, I'd marry her.
ROMANA: You deserve each other.
GRENDEL: Come, my dear. (He offers his arm, which the ANDROID takes.)
(They leave. Then, while LAMIA approaches the door quickly, ROMANA grabs a small pick from a collection of instruments.)
LAMIA: Guard! Guard!
(She turns back to ROMANA. A GUARD enters to collect ROMANA.)
LAMIA: What kept you so long? Bring this one back to the cells.

[INT. Reynart's cell]

(The prince still is suffering from fever. ROMANA is pushed into the cell.)
LAMIA: Leave us. I will lock up the prisoner.
(LAMIA places the collar back on ROMANA.)
ROMANA: You know, if Grendel does become king, he'll never make you his queen.
LAMIA: Nor you either. I will see to that.
ROMANA: Ah, but I don't want him, and you do, don't you? Look, why don't you let me go? All you have to do is release me and the Doctor, and I'll leave Tara. Think about it. What have you got to lose?
LAMIA: Grendel.
ROMANA: Well, you haven't exactly got him now, have you? All he's doing is using you.
LAMIA: I know. But that is better than nothing.
(LAMIA departs. After a short while, ROMANA removes the pick from her belt and attacks the neck shackle.)
ROMANA: Now, how does the Doctor do this?

[EXT. Pavilion]

(The DOCTOR and K9 crouch in some tall grass.)
DOCTOR: Shhh! Steady, K9, steady. Let's take a look.

[INT. Reynart's cell]

(ROMANA has succeeded in her task and is now trying to unfasten REYNART's collar.)
ROMANA: (as he wakes with a start) Shh. We're getting out of here.
REYNART: Save yourself.
ROMANA: And leave you behind? They'll kill you.
REYNART: I'm, I'm too weak. I'd only get in the way.
ROMANA: Listen, Grendel's taken most of the guards with him. Now's our chance.
REYNART: Then take it. Don't waste time with me. Tell Zadek where I am. He'll know what to do.
(There is a shot of the DOCTOR and K9 entering the darkened pavilion. The door creaks. The DOCTOR quietly closes it again.
ROMANA has now freed the prince from his own collar. With her help, he winds it and its chain around his hand.)
REYNART: That's it.
ROMANA: Okay.
REYNART: Like that. Good. Ready?
ROMANA: Go ahead.
(REYNART cries out a few times. ROMANA approaches the door.)
ROMANA: Guard! Guard! Guard, quickly! The prince!
(With the sound of jangling keys, the GUARD goes to REYNART, who attacks him and then falls back with a smile. ROMANA makes her escape.)

[EXT. Pavilion]

KURSTER: My Lord. The men are in position, my Lord.
GRENDEL: Good. Await my signal. Tell them to be ready.
KURSTER: Yes, sir.
GRENDEL: You know what to do, my dear.
LAMIA: Yes. When this doctor arrives, you leave him to me.
GRENDEL: What should I do without you?
LAMIA: Find another peasant who understands androids, no doubt.
GRENDEL: True, but I should not find one who pleased me so much. (He gives her a quick kiss.)
GRENDEL: Go now, before he arrives.
(LAMIA snaps her fingers in the air, and the ANDROID follows behind her.)

[EXT. Grendel's castle courtyard]

(ROMANA runs along to the main gates and stops when she sees the GUARD beside the gate. He turns, and she crosses the archway and mounts Grendel's horse. She fumbles, unsure what to do now.)
ROMANA: Go, charger. Start. Start! Go, you stupid creature, go!
(A GUARD hears and fires his electric crossbow as ROMANA works out how to get the horse to move, through the gates and into the countryside.)

[INT. Pavilion]

(LAMIA enters to check on things. She makes to leave, but the DOCTOR is already here. He slams the door.)
DOCTOR: Hello. You're early.
LAMIA: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes. Madame Lamia, is it?
LAMIA: We agreed to meet at midnight.
DOCTOR: Yes, but I had nothing better to do, so I thought I'd come early. What's your reason?
LAMIA: Do I need one?
DOCTOR: No, but it would have been fun to hear it. Where's Romana?
LAMIA: You agree to my terms?
DOCTOR: I do indeed. Safe conduct for Count Grendel in return for Romana also safe and sound.
LAMIA: Yes.
DOCTOR: Where is Romana? You realise, of course, that Count Grendel will have to go into exile, but there's no reason, then, why you can't go into exile with him, is there? Where's Romana?
LAMIA: Outside.
DOCTOR: You bring her in. It's a good offer, Lamia, a fair offer.
(He opens the door and he shuts it behind her.
We then see her outside, giving GRENDEL a smile. She leads the ANDROID in. She holds out her hand. The DOCTOR throws her a scroll rather than handing it to her.)
LAMIA: Well, Doctor, aren't you going to greet your friend?
K9: Caution, Master.
DOCTOR: What is it, K9? (He bends to talk to K9.)
(The ANDROID fires its blue energy beam, which passes over the DOCTOR's head.)
LAMIA: Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!
(She leads the ANDROID around, as the DOCTOR nears the door. It can't get a clear shot so doesn't try.)
DOCTOR: In focus, K9?
K9: Affirmative.
DOCTOR: Now!
(K9 shoots the ANDROID thrice. LAMIA cries out.)

[EXT. Pavilion]

GRENDEL: Something's gone wrong. Attack the pavilion!
(Several GUARDS fire their electric crossbows at the building. First out is LAMIA.)
LAMIA: My Lord! My Lord!
(She is shot.)
GRENDEL: You fools! That was Madame Lamia! Hold your fire!
(She falls to the ground.)
GRENDEL: Doctor, I know you're in there. There's only one entrance to that pavilion. Come out, Doctor. Surrender. We won't harm you. (to KURSTER) Tell the bowmen to fire immediately they see the target. I want him destroyed. (shouting to the Doctor again) Well, Doctor? Are you coming out? You have my word as a Gracht you will not be harmed.
(The bowmen are in position in the bushes and take aim.)

[INT. Pavilion]

K9: Ill-advised, Master.
DOCTOR: What? You just leave it to me, K9. I know exactly what I'm doing.
(He steps outside. There are several shots, one of which hits the door with sparks flying. The DOCTOR runs back in and slams the door.)
DOCTOR: (opening the door again for a moment) Liar! (There is another shower of sparks.)
DOCTOR: It's time we got out of here, isn't it, K9?
K9: Affirmative, Master.
(The DOCTOR gestures to a portion of the back wall.)
DOCTOR: Around here, do you think?
K9: Affirmative.
(As shots are fired from outside, K9 begins burning through an arc in the wall. The DOCTOR punches that thin bit of wall out and scrambles through.)
DOCTOR: Come on! (K9 follows.)

[EXT. Pavilion]

KURSTER: There he is! He's got out!
GRENDEL: Ten thousand gold pieces to the man who shoots the Doctor!
(He heads for the trees.)
GRENDEL: (as a horse whinnies) Wait. Listen.
(ROMANA has arrived.)
KURSTER: The princess! Hold your fire!
(She reaches the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: Everyone for himself, K9!
GRENDEL: Fools! Dolts! That wasn't the princess. It was Romana! After them!
(K9's beam makes short work of the GUARDS, who grunt as they fall. GRENDEL slaps his forehead.
Meanwhile, the DOCTOR has mounted the horse behind ROMANA.)
DOCTOR: I hope you know how to stop this thing when we get there.

[INT. Cabin]

ZADEK: While Grendel thinks we're still in the palace, we may be able to surprise him. You must bring up a troop of bowmen under cover of darkness and position them on the left flank, here.
(The DOCTOR and ROMANA arrive.)
ZADEK: Doctor!
FARRAH: It's the princess!
ROMANA: No, I'm Romana.
ZADEK: Incredible.
DOCTOR: Isn't it?
ROMANA: Ah, this must be the android king.
DOCTOR: Yes. We call him George.
ROMANA: And these gentlemen?
DOCTOR: Oh, they're real, I think.
ZADEK: This is Swordsman Farrah. I am Swordmaster Zadek.
ROMANA: Zadek? I have a message for you from the real king.
ZADEK: You've seen his Majesty? How is he?
ROMANA: He's not very well. We must think of a plan to rescue him.
DOCTOR: (beside the door) Horseman approaching.
FARRAH: (looking through the window) Under a flag of truce. It's Count Grendel! I'll kill the traitor!
ZADEK: Not if he comes under a flag of truce. You know the articles of war, Swordsman.
FARRAH: I'm not sure Count Grendel does, sir.
(The DOCTOR and ROMANA secrete themselves further within the cottage.)
ZADEK: (to FARRAH and a GUARD) Disarm the count, then, and bring him in.
(GRENDEL enters, with a spear that has a white cloth tied to it.)
GRENDEL: Good day, gentlemen. I come to you under a flag of truce and expect to be treated according to the usages of war.
ZADEK: What do you want?
GRENDEL: How are you, your android Majesty?
GEORGE: (very slowly) I. Am. Well.
GRENDEL: He doesn't sound it. Power packs need recharging, I expect.
(The DOCTOR opens the inner door and speaks from there.)
DOCTOR: Nothing that can't be fixed, Count.
GRENDEL: Oh, Doctor! Well, there you are. I was glad you managed to escape safely.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, so was I.
GRENDEL: Tell me now, where is the charming Romana?
ZADEK: What do you want, Count Grendel?
GRENDEL: Only a word with the Doctor, according to the usages of war.
DOCTOR: Me?
GRENDEL: Shall we?
(The DOCTOR takes him into the curtained-off area.)
GRENDEL: Ah, excellent.
DOCTOR: Well?
GRENDEL: Oh, Doctor, you're a remarkable man.
DOCTOR: I am?
GRENDEL: Yeah, a man after my own heart.
DOCTOR: I am?
GRENDEL: Here you are, new to Taran politics, and in no time at all, what have you become?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Go on, you tell me.
GRENDEL: Kingmaker extraordinary. Thanks to you keeping that microcircuitry going, Zadek has his king, but have you thought what would happen if something went seriously wrong, like an overload on the circuits?
DOCTOR: What would happen?
GRENDEL: Your usefulness ceases.
DOCTOR: What?
GRENDEL: You know too much. You become a dangerous embarrassment to Zadek, an embarrassment to be got rid of, and don't think he wouldn't.
DOCTOR: What's the answer?
GRENDEL: Suppose we both unmade our kings. No more King Reynart at all.
DOCTOR: What? What would that achieve?
GRENDEL: A vacancy for a new king.
DOCTOR: Ah. You, I suppose?
GRENDEL: No, no, no, Doctor, no. There would be opposition. No. I was thinking you would make an excellent king.
DOCTOR: Me? Just a moment.
DOCTOR: (to ZADEK) The count's just offered me the throne.
ZADEK: That's treason, Count.
GRENDEL: Only so long as the king is alive!
(GRENDEL's flag-of-truce spear skewers the android. Pfft! GRENDEL runs for the inner door.)
ZADEK: Seize him!

[INT. Balcony]

(FARRAH makes to fire after Grendel with a crossbow. The DOCTOR knocks it from his hands.)
FARRAH: Why did you do that?
DOCTOR: Because he's got Romana. Look!
(KURSTER has taken ROMANA. His horse follows Grendel's into the distance.)
ROMANA: Stop! Let me go! Doctor! Doctor, help me! Doctor!

The above notes, transcription, etc. by Anna Shefl

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