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DOCTOR WHO
THE ANDROIDS OF TARA

Written by
David Fisher

Part Two

(Overlap from 'The Doctor')

[INT. Cabin]

FARRAH: Wake up!
DOCTOR: So much for the local wine.
(FARRAH's rapier is at the DOCTOR's throat.)
FARRAH: Wake up, you traitor!
DOCTOR: What?
FARRAH: Traitor!
DOCTOR: What?
FARRAH: I want you to be totally conscious when I kill you.
DOCTOR: Haven't you got anything better to do?
FARRAH: There's only one thing preventing me from running you through right now.
(He pulls the DOCTOR onto his feet.)
DOCTOR: What's that?
FARRAH: Where is he?
DOCTOR: I don't know what you're talking about.
ZADEK: That's enough, Farrah. Doctor, the prince has gone.
DOCTOR: What? Where?
ZADEK: Vanished. He's been kidnapped.
DOCTOR: By whom?
FARRAH: Your master, Count Grendel, of course!
DOCTOR: But I don't even know who Count Grendel is!
ZADEK: I'm inclined to believe you, Doctor.
(The DOCTOR heads for the curtained room where the android was lying earlier. It is still there.)
FARRAH: But Swordmaster-
ZADEK: Why should he remain when the prince has been taken? It doesn't make sense.
DOCTOR: Well at least he didn't take the android.
ZADEK: They took the real prince. What use is the copy?
DOCTOR: Well, that depends on what you're going to do.
ZADEK: What honour demands.
DOCTOR: And what's that?
ZADEK: Farrah and I will take our swords and do battle with the count's men.
DOCTOR: What? What, just the two of you?
FARRAH: A swordsman does not fear death if he dies with honour.
DOCTOR: Then he's an idiot. Listen, let me see if I understand this. In order to be crowned king, the prince must present himself in the coronation room at a specific time, right?
ZADEK: Correct.
DOCTOR: Then you've got no problem. Excuse me. (He sits in Reynart's chair.)
DOCTOR: You take it to the coronation room and get it crowned.
FARRAH: Crown an android King of Tara? Never!
DOCTOR: Would you rather crown Count Grendel of Gracht?
FARRAH: But an android... It's unthinkable.
ZADEK: In any case, Grendel's men will see that we don't get into the coronation room.
DOCTOR: Well, I don't suppose the king was going to walk in through the front door, was he?
ZADEK: He had a plan.
DOCTOR: Ah. What?
ZADEK: There is a secret passage.
DOCTOR: Aha. I thought there might be something like that. How secret? Would Grendel know about it?
ZADEK: I hope not.
DOCTOR: So do I. Right, now listen. I'll do some more work on George, you get him to the coronation room, get him crowned, and while he's ruling the country you two can find the real prince. I mean, that's worth a try, isn't it?
ZADEK: Doctor, I see only two objections to your plan.
DOCTOR: Only two?
ZADEK: What if the android breaks down?
DOCTOR: Ah, well, I can't guarantee you anything, but if I had the proper tools-
ZADEK: Second problem, security.
DOCTOR: Security? But only the three of us need even know of George's existence.
ZADEK: Precisely. Farrah I can trust.
DOCTOR: And by the time George is king, I'll be light years away.
ZADEK: No, Doctor. You'll be with the android at all times.
DOCTOR: Now look here, Zadek. I've got better things to do than meddle in the politics of your piffling little planet.
(FARRAH's rapier yet again approaches the DOCTOR's face.)
DOCTOR: On the other hand, I could be with the android at all times. (We cut to K9 in the TARDIS raising his head.)

[EXT. Outside the cabin]

(The DOCTOR blows K9's whistle.)
FARRAH: What are you doing?
DOCTOR: Calling my dog.
FARRAH: I don't see any dog.
DOCTOR: Well, of course not. He hasn't arrived yet.

[INT. TARDIS console room]

K9: Master.

[INT. Cabin]

(The android is sitting with head forward while the DOCTOR sews the back of his wig.)
ZADEK: Doctor? You've checked the android?
DOCTOR: Well, as far as I can without the proper tools.
ZADEK: Everything is functioning correctly?
DOCTOR: No. His microcircuitry's not perfect, and his power packs need a boost.
ZADEK: I have great confidence in you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: I'm deeply touched.
ZADEK: But remember, either Farrah or myself will be with you at all times. Don't let us down.
(A bird cries outside, and FARRAH and the DOCTOR head to the window.)
DOCTOR: Don't draw that sword.
(He opens the door. In comes K9.)
K9: You called, Master? (The DOCTOR laughs.)
ZADEK: What is that thing?
DOCTOR: That thing? That's my dog.
ZADEK: But it's a machine.
DOCTOR: Well, so is your prince. (He kicks George's chair for emphasis.)
(FARRAH draws his sword.)
DOCTOR: Don't draw that sword!
(K9's energy beam has captured FARRAH's hand and electric rapier.)
DOCTOR: K9? K9?
(K9 releases FARRAH, and he drops the rapier, which the DOCTOR retrieves.)
DOCTOR: Look, I don't like to say I told you so, but I told you so. Do put it away, quickly. (returns the rapier) K9, where's Romana?
K9: She has not yet returned, Master.
DOCTOR: What? Where is she?
K9: Insufficient data to formulate a reply. She's not within range of my sensors.
DOCTOR: But she was only meant to be gone an hour.
ZADEK: You've lost someone?
DOCTOR: Yes, my assistant. She was looking for something.
ZADEK: What?
DOCTOR: Oh, nothing important.
ZADEK: Where was she last seen?
DOCTOR: Where you picked me up yesterday.
FARRAH: Which way was she going?
DOCTOR: Up the hill.
FARRAH: Toward Count Grendel's lands.
ZADEK: I'm afraid, Doctor, that it sounds as though she might have fallen into the hands of the count.

[INT. Lamia's lab]

GRENDEL: So, the lovely lady wakes.
ROMANA: How long have I been unconscious?
GRENDEL: Twelve hours, my dear. I trust you slept well. Release her.
ROMANA: Twelve hours? Oh, no.
GRENDEL: Why, what's the matter, my dear?
ROMANA: Look, why don't you just let me go? I've no money, and I'm not worth ransoming. Why did you bring me here?
GRENDEL: Do you think I'm a common bandit?
ROMANA: I'm not even Taran. What possible use can I be to you?
GRENDEL: I'll show you. Help her down.
(LAMIA helps her from the couch.)
GRENDEL: Come with me. I want you to see something.

[INT. Dungeon]

(ROMANA and LAMIA follow GRENDEL to a dungeon. A GUARD stands in front of a door.)
GRENDEL: And how is our guest?
GUARD: She's well, my Lord.
GRENDEL: Good. Let's see for ourselves. (He slides open a panel in the door.)
GRENDEL: Take a look, my dear.
ROMANA: (doing so) Oh! It's incredible!
GRENDEL: Yes, the resemblance is extraordinary, isn't it?
(The cell contains a woman who looks like Romana, in a crown and long purple dress, who is working on a tapestry.)
ROMANA: Is it an android?
GRENDEL: Good heavens, no, my dear. That's the princess Strella. First Lady of Tara. A descendant of the Royal House. Mistress of the domains of Thorvald, Mortgarde, and Freya. In fact, Tara's most eligible spinster, shortly to become, in rapid succession, my fiancée, my bride, and then deceased. Yes, it will be a tragic accident. A flower blighted in its prime. And, naturally, as her husband, I shall claim her estates and her position as second in line for the throne, as provided for under Taran law.
ROMANA: I see. But since you've already got a princess, what do you need me for?
GRENDEL: Well, the princess does not entirely agree with my plan.
ROMANA: I can't say I'm wildly surprised.
GRENDEL: In fact, she quite refuses to co-operate.
ROMANA: Good for her. But I still don't see what all this has got to do with me.
GRENDEL: Don't you, my dear? I should have thought that was obvious. If she goes on refusing, I can marry you instead, in front of the great assembly of the nobles of Tara, who won't know the difference.
ROMANA: But what happens if I refuse too?
GRENDEL: Oh, but you won't. Aren't I a lucky man to have two such beautiful women as my bride?
ROMANA: Apparently your staff doesn't agree.
GRENDEL: No, she's prejudiced, my dear, just because I once showed her a certain courtesy. That's the trouble with peasants these days. They don't know their place anymore. (to the guard) Open!

[INT. Another cell]

(GRENDEL enters a cell, where REYNART is lying on a cot. He is chained to the wall at the neck.)
REYNART: Why don't you kill me, Grendel, and get it over with?
GRENDEL: Never rush your pleasures, my dear Reynart. Besides, I've brought someone to see you. Meet his Royal Highness, Prince Reynart, first in line to the throne of Tara.
REYNART: Strella!
ROMANA: No, I'm not Strella. I just look like her. My name's Romana.
GRENDEL: You see, my dear Reynart, when I play for high stakes, I like to hold all the cards.
ROMANA: You won't be holding this one much longer. He's ill. He's running a fever.
GRENDEL: That's why we brought him a permanent nurse for his bedside. Hold her, Kurster. Lamia.
(A MAN grabs Romana, and LAMIA shackles her too.)
REYNART: Let her go!
GRENDEL: Don't be so tediously heroic, my dear fellow. Not too tight, Lamia. We don't want to choke her.
LAMIA: She is secure, my Lord.
GRENDEL: Good.
(KURSTER attaches the chain to the wall.)
GRENDEL: You know, my dear Reynart, you ought to thank me.
REYNART: For what?
GRENDEL: For what? For finding you such a charming nurse. There. Take good care of our royal guest, my dear. Watch them, Kurster.
KURSTER: Yes, my Lord.
GRENDEL: And now, my friend, I must go to your coronation. It's a pity you will miss it.

[INT. Cabin]

(The party ponder a map spread out on the table.)
DOCTOR: Where is Count Grendel's castle?
ZADEK: About eight leagues from here.
DOCTOR: Eight leagues.
ZADEK: You're not thinking of going there alone?
DOCTOR: Well, where else might he have taken her if not there?
ZADEK: To Tara itself. He will want to make sure that no-one else claims the throne.
DOCTOR: Right. K9, you take the castle. I'll go to Tara with George.
FARRAH: You're going to help us then?
DOCTOR: Well, of course. Anyway, we need Zadek to get us into the palace, right?
ZADEK: Correct, Doctor.
DOCTOR: K9, off you go. Find out if Romana's there, and report straight back to me. Come on, off you go. (He closes the door behind K9.)
FARRAH: Doctor?
DOCTOR: What?
FARRAH: Is he a good hunting dog?
DOCTOR: Ah, well, if she's there, he'll find her.

[EXT. Woods]

FARRAH: There's not a lot of time left.
ZADEK: We're almost there. Wait here. I'll go ahead and scout.
DOCTOR: Good.
FARRAH: Be careful, Swordmaster. (to the DOCTOR) He's not as young as he used to be.
DOCTOR: Who is?
FARRAH: (addressing the android) Are you all right, sir? How do you feel? Ahem. (no reply) I can't talk to androids. Is he all right?
DOCTOR: Yes, I think so.
FARRAH: He's not talking.
DOCTOR: Well, I've switched off his communication mechanism to conserve power.
FARRAH: He'll have to make a speech at his coronation.
DOCTOR: Don't worry, he'll make a speech. Don't worry. It won't be a long one, but he'll make a speech.
FARRAH: I don't know what it is about androids. I know it's silly. You know what I mean.
DOCTOR: Hmm. Funny thing, some androids feel like that about humans.
ZADEK: I have found the place. Come.

[EXT. Entrance to secret passage]

(A GUARD with a crossbow walks back and forth.)
ZADEK: It's one of Grendel's men.
FARRAH: I'll deal with him.
(FARRAH throws a rock, distracting the man, then rapier-zaps him when he turns round again. The party emerge from hiding.)
DOCTOR: Will he recover?
FARRAH: In a few hours.
DOCTOR: Good.
(The DOCTOR picks up the crossbow.)
DOCTOR: It fires electronic bolts. How very quaint.
FARRAH: It's a peasant's weapon.
(The DOCTOR sets the crossbow down.)
ZADEK: Come, there's no time to lose.

[INT. Lamia's lab]

(K9 watches the guards on patrol.
Meanwhile, LAMIA works on an android head. Bored, she checks out Romana's segment.)
LAMIA: That's curious.
(An attempt at drilling into it achieves nothing. She tries again and sets the drill aside.)
LAMIA: (still considering the segment) That's very odd.

[EXT. Castle]

(K9 has detected where Grendel is keeping Romana.)
K9: Mistress?

[INT. Reynart's cell]

(ROMANA dabs at his wounded right arm.)
REYNART: So you're a friend of the Doctor?
ROMANA: Yes. Don't worry. He'll get us out of here.
REYNART: Hah. How? No-one's ever escaped from the dungeons of Castle Gracht. Ow. How is it? Not good, eh?
ROMANA: Look, don't try and talk. Just conserve your strength.
REYNART: For what? I can't swim the moat with this, let alone take on the guard.
ROMANA: The Doctor'll find a way.
REYNART: Soon, I hope. I'd like to try and avoid giving Grendel the pleasure of dying in one of his foul dungeons.
(Two GUARDS enter in a hurry. One starts to free ROMANA.)
REYNART: Peasants! How dare you lay hands on a lady?
(The GUARDS remove her from the cell.)

[INT. Secret passage]

DOCTOR: What were these tunnels built for?
ZADEK: They were plague tunnels built about two hundred years ago to allow the royal court to move in and out of the palace without having to pass through the contaminated city.
DOCTOR: Ah.
ZADEK: The great plague wiped out nine tenths of the population.
FARRAH: That's when the survivors started using androids to replace the people.
DOCTOR: I see. Very far yet?
ZADEK: Quite a way, I fear.
(At the entrance to the passage, Grendel's GUARDS find their compatriot on the ground. They enter the tunnel.)

[INT. Antechamber to the coronation room]

(As nobles mill around behind them, Grendel's men approach the door to the main hall, where guards stand at attention.)
KURSTER: You're relieved of your post. Go.
(The guard commander nods his dismissal.)
KURSTER: Take up your place. Come on.
(Grendel's GUARDS replace the others. The camera passes the zodiac clock and shows GRENDEL in the coronation room, where he tries the throne out for size. He laughs and leaves. We cut briefly to the GUARDS in the secret passages. One casts a light about and then beckons the others.
Back with the nobility, the clock hand moves to Scorpio.)
GRENDEL: (to KURSTER as he salutes) Well?
KURSTER: Everything is ready, my Lord.
GRENDEL: The peasants are prepared?
KURSTER: I have my men dressed as peasants, my Lord. As soon as it is announced that the prince has not appeared for the coronation, there will be a spontaneous demonstration of love and loyalty to the House of Gracht.
GRENDEL: I think I shall reject the crown once. Rejecting it twice might be misconstrued. Besides, besides, I'm not sure I can trust the Archimandrite to offer it to me a third time.
(We now see the ARCHIMANDRITE, a bearded man whose coloured robes match his turban. He approaches from the coronation room.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: The hour approaches, Count Grendel.
GRENDEL: It does indeed, your Eminence.
ARCHIMANDRITE: Where is the prince?
GRENDEL: No doubt he will be here, your Eminence.
ARCHIMANDRITE: If he misses the appointed hour of his coronation, we must choose another king. That is the law.
GRENDEL: I know.
ARCHIMANDRITE: (speaking quietly) It is possible we may choose you.
GRENDEL: You overwhelm me, your Eminence.

[INT. Secret passage]

ZADEK: We're nearly there. The steps to the coronation chamber are just round the corner.
(The android doesn't duck, and his head hits a low-hanging stone.)
FARRAH: Doctor!
DOCTOR: What? Stop him!
FARRAH: Is he going to be all right?
DOCTOR: Let's hope so. Off you go.
(Their pursuers fire, hitting the walls. The DOCTOR pulls the faux prince out of the way.)
FARRAH: Look out!
ZADEK: We've been followed! Doctor, take the prince. We'll try to hold them off here. There's a lever at the top. Pull it down. It opens a panel. Hurry!
DOCTOR: (trying) It can't have been moved for two hundred years. It's stuck! It won't move.

[INT. Antechamber to the coronation room]

(The clock advances to between Aries and Pisces. The murmuring grows.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: (to GRENDEL) There's no sign of the prince, Count Grendel.
GRENDEL: He would appear to be late, your Eminence.
ARCHIMANDRITE: If he doesn't appear by the appointed time, it is my duty under the law to offer the crown to one of the other nobles.
GRENDEL: My dear Archimandrite, you may rest assured that whoever you choose to be King of Tara will immediately be offered the protection of my guard.
ARCHIMANDRITE: Your guard? (looks around) These are your men?
GRENDEL: Er, the palace guard proved to be indisposed.
ARCHIMANDRITE: I see. Perhaps, in the circumstances, it would be simpler if I offered you the crown immediately.
GRENDEL: An excellent suggestion, my dear Archimandrite. It would avoid a great deal of possible unpleasantness later. But we must wait for the exact moment. Everything must be done correctly.
ARCHIMANDRITE: Noble sentiments, Count. Nobly spoken.
(The clock chimes.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: Look, it is time. It is time! Open the doors.
(To a fanfare, the ARCHIMANDRITE leads him and the other nobles in.)

[INT. Coronation room]

(GEORGE waits patiently on the throne. He holds the sceptre and orb. His party are gathered round him.)
GRENDEL: Impossible.
(He whispers something to KURSTER as the ARCHIMANDRITE advances toward the throne.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: (turning to the crowd) All kneel to our sovereign lord, Prince Reynart.
(GRENDEL is the only one who fails to do so.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: Kneel!
(He does.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: (picking the crown up from its cushion and holding it up for all to see) Behold the crown of Tara.
(GEORGE begins leaning to the side, so the DOCTOR and ZADEK sit him upright. The ARCHIMANDRITE places the crown on his head.)
ARCHIMANDRITE: (turning to the crowd again) Hail to the king! Hail to King Reynart of Tara!
NOBLES: Hail! Hail to the king!
ARCHIMANDRITE: Your Majesty. The speech of accession. You must say it.
(The DOCTOR flips a switch at GEORGE's neck. He can now speak.)
GEORGE: My subjects, I acknowledge your salutations, and I swear that I will uphold your rights and devote myself to defending and pro- (slurs) -tecting you at all times.
DOCTOR: (sotto, behind the throne) I'll do some more work on his speech circuits.
ARCHIMANDRITE: Let all the nobles now swear the oath of fealty to the king. (as she enters) Let the First Lady of the land of Tara come forward and make her vows.
DOCTOR: Romana?
ZADEK: That's the princess Strella.
(GRENDEL stands behind her.)
STRELLA: I, Princess Strella, descendant of the royal kings of Tara, mistress of the domains of Thorvald, Mortgarde, and Freya, do humbly offer my loyalty to the King and do hereby recognise his suzerainty over me and all whom I command.
(She kneels and bows her head. The DOCTOR grabs the sceptre and runs toward her. He appears to knock her on the head with the king's sceptre.)
DOCTOR: No!

The above notes, transcription, etc. by Anna Shefl

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