Some of these really aren't very good. (Should I blame alcohol for that?) They're just a bit of fun to remember some good drinks by.
This is not the world of the raging drunk:
It's the realm largely of the beer or whisky bore who laments
'It's all lager & alcopops these days...'
Gordon & MacPhail = Plain good charm.
Ardbeg Islay malt = Balm aids greatly.
Bowmore Enigma = Amber wooing me.
Beg: "Oh, buy us a _real_ drink!"
~ "Get Aberlour A'bunadh whisky."
Drink. Gab the blue hours away. -
Get Aberlour A'bunadh whisky.
Thirsty? Real weak? Glass empty? Why not drink a scotch? =
Sip a twenty-year-old Mortlach whisky (cask strength).
The Glenlivet, American Oak Finish = Heighten main flavor in elite
(US spelling, for obvious reasons)
Laphroaig = 'Hi, oral gap!'
Bunnahabhain - 'Westering Home' = The binge: brain-wash one human.
Bunnahabhain - 'Westering Home' = Beer, gin, 'n' inane mouthwash!
Seagram's Glenlivet = Malt engages livers.
Aberlour (Speyside) = Yes, superb or ideal!
Glenfiddich = Child Fed Gin!
Glen Garioch = Age long. Rich.
Balvenie = Evil bane.
Lagavulin (classic malt) ~ as victuals, calming all.
Dalwhinnie Scotch Whisky = Whine "a kind which's costly".
Bowmore Mariner (fifteen-year) = No more water? Fine fiery amber...
The Glendronach Sherry Cask = "Clean cherry red! Gosh, thanks!"
And an Irish one:
Bushmills (a blend) = Bah, Dublin smells!
Water, malted barley, hops and yeast!
That's awesome, landlady - beer party!
A beer nerd = Nearer bed.
Homebrew competition = Memo topic: 'Hit beer won'
Pissy lager = Greasy lips? --What do they put in this stuff?
A craft beer = Create barf!
A collection of modern craft-beer fads, on which opinions vary:
Black saison = So sick. Banal.
New England IPA = We planned gain!
Breweries du jour, from ratebeer.com's Top Breweries list:
Dogfish Head = High-dose fad.
Three Floyds ~ fed hostelry.
Three Floyds = Hefty. Resold.
Alesmith = Lame shit.
Alesmith ~ is malt, eh?
Ballast Point = Taliban's plot!
Crooked Stave = Vote OK/sacred
Epic Brewing = NEW: Big price!
Goose Island ~ sold agonies.
Green Flash = Fresh angle.
Hair of the Dog = 'Oh-oh' at fridge.
New Belgium = Glum newbie.
North Coast ~ cons throat.
Stone Brewing = It's been wrong.
Stone Brewing = Wine gets born
And even more crafty stuff:
I'll enter, hyped = Pliny the Elder
Sculpin Habanero = Oh, ban nuclear sip
The Brewdog 'IPA Is Dead' Series ~ is hipster beer (I do add sewage).
BrewDog Five a.m. Saint = We design a vomit/barf.
Kissmeyer ~ seem risky.
Cool Head beers = Ebola OD. Cheers!
All those dumb Omnipollo beers ~ pull moron mobs. Hello, diabetes!
including, in the 'vomit-inducingly closer to dessert than beer' category, their
NOA Hazelnut Cupcake = Launch a puke-zone act
Hazelnut Cupcake = Upchuck zeal - neat!
Below are a few items for the less discerning drinker, some of which one might
Tramp juice -> Act jumpier!
Stella Artois = A lot, as litres!
Coors Light's~ cool, right?
(Well, that's Thor's logic anyway)
Budweiser = Die, US brew!
Royal Unibrew = Below urinary
Skol Super = Spoke slur?
Red Stripe = Dirt spree.
Pester ten nuns with Tennents Super
Carlsberg Special Brew = Lips gab "Screw cerebral!"
Carlsberg Special Brew = Gibber, crawl, scar, sleep.
Some that aren't so tasty:
The King of Beers = Froth binges - eek!
Coors Brewing Company ~ power magic by corn, son.
White Lightning = Lightweight inn
A drink that is far tastier than expected, the anagram notwithstanding:
Lion Stout = Insult too.
Now we look primarily at English real ale. Many of the drinks below can be found in Cambridge, at venues such as:
O'Hanlon's Port Stout = Slur "Not on tap? Shoot!"
Fuller's Trafalgar beer = After bar, regulars fell.
Ask any old drinker - Orkney Dark Island
Dark Star Golden Gate = Do get large tankards.
Adore malt, Englishman? ... Earl Soham Gannet Mild!
Harviestoun Old Engine Oil = Inhale it. Soon overindulge.
Young's Chocolate Stout = Tongue cocoa thusly, sot!
Shepherd Neame Spitfire = Pint refreshes me. (He paid.)
Man prayed: 'Where's the beer?' ~ 'At Shepherd Neame Brewery.'
Station Porter = O trainspotter!
Nethergate's Umbel Ale = Humans' glee: better ale.
There's also the 'miracle cure' anagram...
Lame? Blue? ~ Umbel Ale.
Black Sheep's Riggwelter = Let's help re: cask brew gig.
Thomas Hardy's Ale = Oh my. Trashed, alas.
The Campaign for Real Ale = Fear/hate lager? Complain!
Campaign for Real Ale = American lager - a flop! [rediscovery]
(For an anagram of some material from the CAMRA Web site, go here).
Lithuania's farmhouse beer = Our aim: Bathe us in fresh ale.
Tanker beer = Break & enter
Tanker beers = Berserk. Neat.
At the time of writing, the jury hasn't weighed in on this soon-to-be-available local
drink from a newcomer on the scene:
Level Eleven Rainbow Juice =
Ale newbie: clever/juvenile?
Accordingly, this could refer either to the brewer leading us beyond the realm of hipster beer or to someone just leaving the unfinished drink on the table:
Level Eleven Rainbow Juice =
I leave juvenile-clown beer
Sori Brewing = Sober wiring?
AleSmith Speedway Stout =
I hope we used tasty malts. =
We'd ultimate hops, yeasts, ...
And a drink for the brave:
'Armageddon' by Brewmeister =
Strong, maybe weird beer. Mad.
Weird, sad Moneygrab Beer(TM).
Brewmeister Armageddon ~ made most rewarding beer.
(And for A Tale of Two Beers, visit here).
If the latter beer hasn't scared you away, you might consider thisdrink:
If you like to mix your drinks, you could try these perhaps:
White Russian = Wash! It's urine!
Dirty mind thinks near a resort =
Dry martini. Shaken, not stirred.
A Planter's Punch = A slurp penchant.
After all that, you might be
Tired and emotional because of not maintaining a lemonade tradition
Tired and emotional
= Ale: idiot adornment.
= Denote martini load.
If not, you might need something stronger:
Sot lamented absinthe, ~
the 'madness in a bottle'.
If free, I down it!
Vintage port =
Tag it 'proven'.
And for anyone who's had enough to drink that the late-night
junk-food kiosk looks attractive:
Draught beers = Death-burgers!
I'll drink to that...
She drinks a toast = So it's tankards, eh?
For those who prefer a non-alcoholic tipple, tea might be on the
English Breakfast = Relief bags - thanks!
Twinings Breakfast Tea = Best at first awakening
Black or green doesn't matter:
A hot cup of keemun? Darjeeling? Assam?...
...Greens do a fuel-up OK. Jasmine? Matcha?
This new offering from Starbucks sounds as if it might, erm, drive one
The S'mores Frappuccino =
Un-promo: 'Shit! Feces! Crap!'
Men, it's 'cup of horse crap'.
That's all for now...
"Time, please." = Ale empties.
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