Various mid-length anagrams

This is a place for things that aren't quite 'long'. Topics vary.

Anagrams that are new since the last update will have a 'NEW:' in front of them (new 'grams are not necessarily at the top).


[This anagram remembers Patrick McGoohan, who died in January 2009. A 'reimagining' of his classic spy-fi series The Prisoner aired on US television a few months later.
The left-hand side is the spoken dialogue between McGoohan's lead character and an omnipresent voice, and the right-hand side is spoken from the point of view of an iconic figure from
The Prisoner.]

  Where am I?
               In the Village
  What do you want?
               Information.
  Whose side are you on?
               That would be telling.
               We want information.
  You won't get it.
               By hook or by crook...
               We will.
  Who are you?
               The new Number Two.
  Who is Number One?
               You are Number Six.
  I am not a number -
  I'm a free man!

=

  You think to outwit a white-weather-balloon border guard?  Wow.
  I inflate beneath our sea when you begin swimming.
  With my low-roar noise, you fail.
      
  But now I relax.  I bounce alone on the water by town.
  Um, I'm famous.  Why'd no-one want me in the remake?  No memory?

        - Rover


 NEW:

[A large European company's list of values]
Innovation
Customer Focus
Speed
Impeccable Ethics
Great Talent
Ownership
=
The team newcomer can happen to develop
* tuberculosis
* necrotising fascitis


[These anagrams are brought to you by Apple iCloud. See, for example, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-29045789. The left-hand side is the start of the bumf on www.icloud.com.]

"Store contacts, calendars, photos, music, books, apps and more in the cloud and access them on all your devices."

=

... on a random old MS desktop machine?

  Psst!  Not so secure.

       Celebrity nude pics, chat, ...
       So cool a trove!
       Such a scandal!


[There are certain well-known 'quotes' that aren't exactly correct. This anagram could be titled 'They never said it'.]

"Just the facts, ma'am" on Dragnet , Vader's line "Luke, I am your father", and "Beam me up, Scotty!" all are slightly wrong sayings.

=

Just like "Play it again, Sam", "Elementary, my dear Watson", etc. Humans forget. Gads, brains must not hold a very full charge!


[The right-hand side could be termed 'Seven Blunders of the World' perhaps.]

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World

=

Awful Sights of Today

* Home has a mate's shoe on sofa, loathsome food/tea, ...


Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Capricorn
=
A crop-circle arranger is creating a quasi-god-animal circus above: superstitious piss in our air!


[The left-hand side is the little survey offered by the microsoft.com Web site, and the right-hand side offers a response to each item.]

1    Page design and layout                    1. A bug farm.
     ( )Like ( )Dislike
2    Organization of information               2. Dead, ailing links. Can't find 'Our Court 
     ( )Clear ( )Confusing                        Judgement File' or 'Monopolizing: A Confession'.
3    Amount of information available           3. No author citation. Office Suite format 
     ( )Not enough ( )Just right ( )Too much      only? Tough.  Jargon too.
4    Products offered                          4. I think MS oughta have those out under GPL.
     ( )Not enough ( )Just right ( )Too much


[The left-hand side is a list compiled by alternativereel.com. The items on the right-hand side are my own list and Not Safe for Work (the links behind each were relevant and/or functional at the time of writing).]

The Top 10 Most Disturbing Movies of All Time

=

Horrors of the Net
(I look with Torpark)

... i.e., 100 years of viral 'I fail'.


[The anagram below is a guide to the actors to have played the Doctor in Doctor Who over the decades (as of the time of writing), and their characteristics and peculiarities. Read it now and see whether I've been unkind to your favourite version of the Time Lord.]

  1. William Hartnell
  2. Patrick George Troughton
  3. Jon Devon Roland Pertwee
  4. Tom Baker
  5. Peter Davison
  6. Colin Baker
  7. Sylvester McCoy
  8. Paul McGann
  9. Christopher Eccleston
  10. David Tennant

=

  1. Tetchy grandpa
  2. Clown
  3. Gallant TARDIS-wrangler
  4. 'Dr. Jelly Babies'
  5. Vet
  6. Pompous ponce, cunt, rat
  7. Omniscient vagrant
  8. One-shot movie plot
  9. Clever northerner, cheek
  10. Dork-like comedian


[This item anagrams a set standard-style haiku into one with a slightly different view on the subject matter.]

Winds blowing colder,
dry leaves dance over the ground -
whispers of winter.

=

Swirling before eyes,
snow hell drowns, pervading town.
Ditch-devoured car.


[The inspirational advice below appears as a poster on the walls of one of Europe's largest banks. See whether you can guess which side of the anagram is the original...]

Set the example
Develop yourself
Focus on client
Be positive
Show courage
Act as one
Drive performance
Deliver results

=

Arrive late (hung over, too).
Browse rotten.com, nudes, a teen's coed sex vids,...
Sleep.
Filch office computer supplies.
Leave early.


Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise - its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

=

* 'Fall' across the bridge (oh, camera wiggles too)!
* Order new red-shirt ensign 'over there' on his own!
* Oppose the effete, inept foe!
* Often woo/kiss busty alien lasses!
* Fix every zany matter with one inspirational tale!


Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not rage and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

=

A bloke acting on testosterone looks at hot ladies, while chicks in lust hunt lads due to oestrogen.
Soon, wooing is just driven via dopamine (giving vast joy), serotonin, and norepinephrine (delivering 'butterflies'). Well, 'til one gains a tolerance to these.
But to then suck on soft breasts/gonads, just cuddle, and so on releases other things.


[The left-hand side of the next anagram is courtesy of Google 'Hot Trends' in the USA from 19 February 2009. These are search topics that are seeing a spike in popularity, updated every few minutes. The right-hand side makes reference to the third item on the list.]

=

These terms don't mention nakedness, nudity, coming, or porn! But I suppose people already know where to 'cam chat' or obtain fit television stars' nicer X-rated video or .JPG images.

Life's divided between the SmutCam meccas and making LiveJournal or YouTube comments. Is your child tripping on cat pee in the meantime? You can check Google...


[The left-hand side comes from the Crayola Crayons site.]

Crayola Crayons are the classic kids' art tool. They are the colors generations have grown up with - from red, yellow, and blue to gold, copper and silver, too! Crayola Crayons are designed with a focus on true color, smoothness, and durability. With sizes to fit every child's hand and colors to match every imagination, Crayola Crayons are here to provide the ultimate in children's artistic expression.

=

In school, we learnt size clearly matters - woe betide the poor child having a cry in a corner: a sorry loser with a box of only twenty-four.

Our collections have to adapt to their era. Grandma's old set's 'flesh' is today known as 'peach'.

In modern times, gore's cooler - it's every spray-paint-addled youth's choice. So I'll choose as our very latest addition "Virginia Tech red" or "rich accountant's cranium-lard gray".


[The left-hand side is from the Campaign for Real Ale's Web site. And yes, all of the information in the right-hand side regarding pubs, beer festivals, beers, and breweries was accurate at the time of writing.]

Real ale is a natural product brewed using traditional ingredients and left to mature in the cask (container) from which it is served in the pub through a process called secondary fermentation. It is this process which makes real ale unique amongst beers and develops the wonderful tastes and aromas which processed beers can never provide.

=

Reminder: I must stop in Helsinki before the landlords run out of the draught Dark Star Espresso Stout (nice) and Belhaven St. Andrews Ale. And Crouch Vale Brewers Gold, served on tap here (Gallows), is a fantastic specimen. (Mere crap such as daiquiris and Olvi isn't similar!)
Then, in a few days we proceed to an a.a. meet, Peterborough tent (Iceni, RCH, etc.), ... Hic!


[This anagram is in honour of the Google Groups interface and the frustration it so often creates among those who do try to use it sensibly, among others, The left-hand side is Google's, and the RHS is mine, apart from the quotation.]

What can you do with Google Groups?

Search or browse for information
Want to learn about car repair? Have a question about computers?
You can find a discussion or a group about it.

Make a group of your own
Why not start your own group? For your family, your football team...
Creating a group is easy - just pick a name and start inviting members.

Join a group
Find something you like? Join straight away or request an invitation if it is a private group.

=

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

A 'Beta' hit for "Google Groups sucks" says:
"Google Groups sucks donkey genitalia for quoting, it eats posts..."

But is it just that? No! Each hour, a newbie or two find and visit USENET via a 'Google Group', only to offer up vain inanity or submit an idiotic query for world consumption. In pain, our poor community might roar a joint cry of wrath: "Oi! Not every part of our Internet must be, or mirror, a crap Web forum! Run away, run away, you wimp."


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