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First Broadcast 12th March 1999 as part of Comic Relief

1. Main Hall

MASTER I shall travel back in time once more and buy the architect an expensive dinner and suggests he puts a lever just here...

(He grabs a convenient lever set in the wall.)

...and a trapdoor leading to the vast and disgusting sewers of Terserus, exactly there!

(He points to where the DOCTOR and EMMA are standing.)

Prepare for 500 miles of fear and feisies. Goodbye, forever, Mr and Mrs Doctor!

(The MASTER pulls the lever and immediately falls down a trapdoor underneath his feet. The DOCTOR and EMMA crouch by it.)

DOCTOR: Since you appear to have fallen down a sewer, you won't be able to have dinner with the architect. Although, in fact he's already eaten because I had dinner with him and suggested he puts a trapdoor right here. (to EMMA) Careful, my dear.

(Suddenly the doors at the end of the room burst open and the MASTER enters. His hair and beard are now long and grey and he is covered in slime.)

MASTER: Not so fast!

EMMA: How can he be here? He just fell in the sewers. And why's he so much older?

MASTER: Because it's taken me 312 years to climb out of those sewers.

DOCTOR: And naturally you found your TARDIS and travelled back in time to the present day. No doubt to wreak one of your terrible revenge things.

MASTER: (chuckles) Yes. But this time I did not come alone!

(A BLACK DALEK glides through the doorway followed by several other DALEKS. The DOCTOR backs away.)

After three centuries of having gone through those sewers, only the Daleks would accompany me. 'Cos only the Daleks don't have noses.

DALEK: So Doctor, we meet again.

DOCTOR: (calmly) Yes. How are things?

MASTER: Observe Doctor, I am no longer merely a Time Lord. My body has been augmented by superior Dalek technology.

(The MASTER pulls off his right glove to reveal a DALEK sucker arm.)

EMMA: So what can you do with that then?

MASTER: (taken aback) What?

EMMA: You don't know, do you?

BLACK DALEK: Exterminate!

DALEKS: Exterminate! Exterminate!

MASTER: Stop! No! After 312 years of climbing through the biggest and most disgusting sewers in the cosmos, after three centuries of wading through those vast steamy lakes, climbing those huge squelchy mountains, after a lifetime of only dung slugs for food and the occasional company on those long, lonely nights.

(The DOCTOR winces.)

After all that I'm going to kill the Doctor myself, with my own bare hands!

(He glances at the sucker arm irritably.)

Die Doctor, die!
(He charges forward with his hands outstretched. The DOCTOR and EMMA merely move out of the way and, with a scream, e falls down the trapdoor again.)

DOCTOR: (to the DALEKS) Don't worry, I believe he know's the way out.

(The MASTER bursts through the doors again and spits out a mouthful of slime.)

MASTER: 624 years in a sodding sewer!

DOCTOR: This way!

(The DOCTOR and EMMA run off narrowly avoiding the trapdoor. The MASTER points after them.)

MASTER: This way!

(The DALEKS glide off in pursuit.)

DALEKS: Exterminate! Exterminate!

2. Corridors

(The DOCTOR and EMMA run thorugh a series of identical corridors.)

3. Main Hall

(The DALEKS file past the MASTER.)

MASTER: After them you fools! Get them!

(The base of one DALEK pushes him through the trapdoor again. An even older MASTER hobbles past with crutches.)

936 years in a sewer. Wait for me! Wait for me!

4. Corridors

EMMA: These corridors all look the same!

(The DOCTOR spots a door.)

DOCTOR: We should be safe in here.

(They open it only to be confronted with dozens of chanting DALEKS.)


Transcribed by Joseph Oldham.



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