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DOCTOR WHO
THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG

Written by
Robert Holmes

Part Two

(Overlap from the Doctor and Leela entering the sewers)

[EXT. Sewers]

(We see that the creature that caused such a fright in the gloomy sewers is a jumbo-sized rat-like critter. The DOCTOR and LEELA run back toward the ladder, with the DOCTOR throwing a flash-bang at it to delay its pursuit of them.)
DOCTOR: Out! Out!

[EXT. Street]

(LEELA climbs the ladder, breathing heavily. The DOCTOR exits the sewer entrance next, and he slides the manhole cover back into place.)
LEELA: What a big cat [?]!
DOCTOR: Ah! Ten feet from whiskers to tail.
LEELA: We should have taken weapons.
DOCTOR: What kind of weapons? You'd need a harpoon to stop that brute.
LEELA: Shall we tell the blue guards?
DOCTOR: They'd only call the sanitary inspector. It's a guard. It's there to keep people away.
(He starts to run off, while LEELA hasn't yet caught her breath.)
LEELA: What? Now where are we going?

[INT. Theatre, cellar]

(JAGO and CASEY enter, carrying torches.)
CASEY: Ah, it's black as Newgate's knocker down here. It's over this way, Mister Jago.
JAGO: Flickering shadows, Casey. Trick of the light.
CASEY: Shadows don't groan, Mister Jago. Shadows don't clank chains and moan like all the demented souls in hell.
(The light from JAGO's lantern falls on a prop - a totem pole, with a face painted on it. There clearly is plenty in the scene shop that could give someone a fright.)
JAGO: There's your ghost. Six-gun Sadie and Her Wild West Troupe left that behind. All lumber sheet and ninepence, that's what you saw.
CASEY: It weren't that old thing. Anyway, I heard it.
JAGO: Ah, Casey, you're a pixilated leprechaun. The course of the River Fleet runs right under the foundations of this old theatre. What you heard was a clang and the rush of water as they closed the sluice gates down on the Thames.
CASEY: Ah, it's easy for you to cast aspersions, Mister Jago. You weren't down here.
JAGO: Somebody else has been down here by the look of things. Have you got an admirer, Casey?
CASEY: A glove, is it?
JAGO: Yes, a lady's glove, monogrammed EB. Perhaps the ghost dropped it, eh? Come on, we've had enough of your spook.

[INT. Police station]

DOCTOR: No plan of the sewers?
KYLE: We don't keep plans of sewers here, sir, but, as far as I know, they all connect to the Fleet and then down to the river. But if you've got any information...
DOCTOR: At the moment, Sergeant, we're looking for information ourselves.
KYLE: Professor Litefoot left a message for you, sir.
DOCTOR: Did he?
KYLE: It says he'd like to see you at the mortuary straight away.
DOCTOR: It does.
KYLE: He's still there, sir. We found another body outside after you'd gone.
DOCTOR: What?
KYLE: Another Chinese, sir, just outside.
DOCTOR: Very convenient.
KYLE: Very mysterious, sir. (as the DOCTOR turns to leave) You wouldn't know anything about it, I suppose?
LEELA: Of course we do. I was rescuing the Doc-
DOCTOR: Come on, Leela!

[INT. Theatre]

(CASEY and JAGO exit Jago's office and head for the stage door.)
JAGO: Go on home with you, Casey, straight home. You might be mistaken for one of those girls.
CASEY: Aren't you coming, Mister Jago?
JAGO: Not yet. Some paperwork commands my presence yet awhile, but I shall doubtless descry those lugubrious liniments at the crepuscular hour.
CASEY: Eh?
(JAGO opens the door for CASEY.)
JAGO: See you in the morning.
CASEY: (laughing) You're a card, Mister Jago. A card and a half.
(He leaves the theatre. Then, CHANG approaches JAGO from behind, giving him a start.)
JAGO: Jiminy, you made me jump. I thought you'd gone, Mister Chang.
CHANG: No, Mister Jago. I have come back to see you.
JAGO: See me, Mister Chang? Nothing wrong, I hope?
CHANG: Be so kind as to step up to my dressing room, and I will explain.

[INT. Chang's dressing room]

JAGO: If it's the terms of our contract, we've been attracting such good houses lately, I've already considered drawing up a fresh agreement. The terms I have in mind as such I venture no other management in London would offer an artiste. What would you say to an extra two per cent, Mister Chang? Of the gross, naturally. I think you'll agree that's ... fair.
(JAGO trails off as he gazes into the glowing white almonds of CHANG's eyes.)
CHANG: Now hear me, Jago. You remember the cab driver, Buller, who came to see me tonight?
JAGO: Cab driver. Yes.
CHANG: I want you to forget him, understand? You did not see him.
JAGO: I did not see him.
CHANG: Good. Now you will go from here to your office. When you sit down at your desk, you will remember only that you have just said 'good night' to Casey. Is that clear?
JAGO: I have just said 'good night' to Casey.
CHANG: Excellent. Now, go.
(CHANG waves a hand in front of JAGO, who clears his throat and leaves. CHANG too exits, heading for the cellar.)

[INT. Theatre, cellar]

(Making sure he is not observed, CHANG descends the steps and lights a torch. He purposefully makes his way through the scene shop. Toward the back, there is a clear area where he taps thrice on one of the flagstones in the middle of the floor. The stone is on a hinge and grinds open to reveal a ladder. CHANG begins heading below.)

[INT. Laboratory]

(CHANG performs a half kowtow to a figure in a swirling, long cloak.)
LORD: You are late.
CHANG: We should not go tonight, Lord.
LORD: I must, every night until the time cabinet is found.
(He coughs and wheezes. We see the top half of his form, with covered face and felt hat.)
CHANG: You are ill.
LORD: I am dying, Chang. You must bring another linnet to my cage.
CHANG: But only yesterday-
LORD: (pacing) The disease grows worse. Each distillation lasts less than the time before.
CHANG: And with every girl reported missing, panic increases. I fear one of them will be traced here.
LORD: You must be careful!
CHANG: Careful as I am, Lord, there is always risk of discovery. Even tonight I acted quickly to keep our secret. A man was on his way to police.
LORD: Bah. Those dumb-witted oxen. Chang, I have given you mental powers undreamt of in this century. You are thousands of years ahead of your time. What can you fear from these primitives?
CHANG: True, Lord, I read their minds with ease, but tonight there was a stranger, a man whose thoughts were hidden, a man different from all others.
LORD: Describe him.
CHANG: He is a doctor. Tall with wide, pale eyes and hair that curls like the ram. He ask many questions.
LORD: A time agent would not ask questions. A time agent would know.
CHANG: But I fear danger, Lord, and have sent a man to kill him.
LORD: Your opium-addicted scum are all bunglers, Chang. You should have seen to it yourself.
CHANG: If he troubles us further, Lord, I will deal with him personally.
LORD: Very well. Now, we're wasting time. Come.

[INT. Mortuary]

LITEFOOT: I have taken some of the organs for further tests, but I must confess to being beaten.
DOCTOR: Beaten?
LITEFOOT: They were both poisoned, of course - one orally, the other intravenously. I understand you suggested scorpion venom?
DOCTOR: Yes, in concentrated form.
LITEFOOT: I'd like to hear more about that. You're in this line, I take it?
DOCTOR: I've dabbled a bit. Dilettanting.
LITEFOOT: Surely more than that. I got a zoologist colleague to look at our last cadaver. It seems he thinks it's the work of a rat too. What an amazing night it's been.
LEELA: It is not over yet.
LITEFOOT: It's been jolly interesting, wouldn't you say? Most of the corpses around here are jolly dull. Now I've got a couple of inscrutable chinks and a poor perisher who was chewed by a giant rat, having been stabbed by a midget.
DOCTOR: A midget?
LITEFOOT: Angle of the wound. Oh, upon my soul. I'm sure we shouldn't be discussing such things in front of the fair sex. Forgive us, ma'am.
LEELA: What for?
LITEFOOT: For being so indelicate in the presence of a lady of refinement.
LEELA: (smiling) Does he mean me?
DOCTOR: I don't think so.
LEELA: It's very interesting. You say you can tell the height of the attacker by the way the blade was thrust? But when aiming for the heart, we were always taught to strike under the breastbone.
LITEFOOT: Upon my soul!
DOCTOR: Savage. Found floating down the Amazon in a hat box.
LITEFOOT: A hat box?
QUICK: Professor, still here? I've traced our cab driver. Name of Joseph Buller, 14 Fish Lane, this parish.
LITEFOOT: Oh, splendid. You can let the coroner have all the details, then. Is there someone to identify the clothing?
QUICK: His mother-in-law, Mrs Nellie Gusset, same address. Deceased has lived there since his marriage six month ago.
DOCTOR: Anything else?
QUICK: Sir?
DOCTOR: Well, you had a few drinks with Mrs Gusset. Did she tell you anything further about the deceased?
QUICK: A bearer of sad tidings, sir. I shared a glass or two while the poor thing got over the shock. Yes, well, she did mention the deceased had been in a queer state all day.
DOCTOR: Why?
QUICK: Well, it seems his wife, that's Emma Buller, daughter of the house, didn't come home last night. Deceased refused to take his cab out today as a consequence. Deceased then had several drinks and went round the Palace Theatre.
LITEFOOT: The theatre?
QUICK: Oh, not on a pleasure bent, sir. It seems he believed that's where his wife was to be found. Mrs Gusset says he went off making horrible asseverations as to his intentions.
LITEFOOT: Yes, well, erm, put as much in that report as you think will concern the coroner, Officer. It's quite clear the man got stupidly drunk and picked a fight with a dwarf.
QUICK: Yes, sir.
LITEFOOT: (talking mostly to LEELA) A night's work like that always does wonders for my appetite. I'd be honoured if you'd share some supper with me.
DOCTOR: I'd be delighted, Professor.

[EXT. Cab]

(LEELA watches LITEFOOT light his pipe.)
LITEFOOT: Of course, the police will have the Buller case cleared up in no time, but the Chinese, different kettle of fish, what?
LEELA: Why are you making fire in your mouth?
LITEFOOT: Why am I-? Upon my sam. Hasn't the girl seen a pipe before?
DOCTOR: There's no tobacco where Leela comes from.
LITEFOOT: Sounds healthy but exceedingly dull. Yes, as I was saying, they're a mysterious lot, the Chinese, enigmatic. I never got anywhere near to understanding them, and I was brought up in China.
DOCTOR: Really? What were you doing there?
LITEFOOT: My father was Brigadier General in the punitive expedition of 1860. Afterwards, he stayed in Peking as a palace attachë. Died there in the end, poor old buffer. Fireworks at the funeral. Odd custom. Odd sort of people.
(The DOCTOR raps on the top of the cab, signalling to stop.)
LITEFOOT: What's up?
DOCTOR: They use fireworks to frighten off evil spirits.
LITEFOOT: I know that. Where are you going?
(The DOCTOR gets out of the cab.)
DOCTOR: You stay with Litefoot. I'll join you later. Drive on, cabbie.
LITEFOOT: Where are you going?
DOCTOR: Palace Theatre.
LITEFOOT: There'll be nobody there at this hour!
(The cab drives on.)
LITEFOOT: Extraordinary. I say, how can he join us later? I haven't given him m'card.
LEELA: 4 Ranskill Gardens. He heard you tell the driver.
LITEFOOT: Gad, he's as sharp as a trout.
LEELA: Trout?
(He looks at her quizzically.)

[INT. Theatre]

(Someone is rapping on the stage door.)
JAGO: All right. Coming!
(JAGO opens the door to the DOCTOR, who makes a beeline for something beyond him.)
JAGO: Yes?
DOCTOR: Terrible weather for the time of the year.
JAGO: The theatre's closed.
DOCTOR: Ssshh.
JAGO: What do you want?
DOCTOR: Are you the manager?
JAGO: I'm the owner, sir. Henry Gordon Jago at the end of a long day, so if you'd kindly state your business.
DOCTOR: Henry Gordon Jago, how do you do, sir? I'm the Doctor.
JAGO: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Exactly.
JAGO: Ah, now I've rumbled your game. I admire your brass, but it won't do. Call back on Saturday.
DOCTOR: Don't move. Hold that.
(JAGO takes the DOCTOR's cane. The DOCTOR pulls several knotted-together magician's scarves from JAGO's pocket.)
JAGO: (sighing) Auditions commence at ten o'clock sharp. Supporting acts booked for one week only.
(The DOCTOR places a lid on a smallish pan, then removes it. With a flourish, he produces a dove from within.)
JAGO: Is that all?
DOCTOR: No. Dramatic recitations, singing, tap dancing. I can play the Trumpet Voluntary in a bowl of live goldfish.
JAGO: Don't bother coming back on Saturday.
DOCTOR: I'm also a master hypnotist. Now then.
(The DOCTOR swings JAGO's pocket watch to and fro.)
DOCTOR: How long since you were under the influence, sir?
JAGO: I'm a man of character and determination, sir. The Rock of Gibraltar would be more easily, more easily...
DOCTOR: Just as I thought, and quite recently too. What was your last order?
JAGO: To remember nothing since I said 'good night' to Casey.
DOCTOR: Henry Gordon Jago, I command you to remember everything you were ordered to forget. When I count to three, you will remember everything. One, two, three.
JAGO: ...more easily influenced than I would. I have a will of iron. What the Dickens am I talking about?
DOCTOR: Did a cab driver come here tonight?
JAGO: Yes, there was a fellow burst in and accosted Mister Chang between shows.
DOCTOR: What did he want?
JAGO: Something about his Emma. Lady friends, no doubt.
DOCTOR: Emma Buller, his wife. She disappeared last night. Does Mister Chang by any chance do a vanishing lady act?
JAGO: You're not by any chance suggesting that Mister Chang has anything to do with these missing...
DOCTOR: What is it?
JAGO: Emma Buller.
(JAGO removes the monogrammed glove from his pocket and hands it to the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: EB. Where did you find this?
JAGO: In the cellar. You from the police?
DOCTOR: I'm helping them. I'd like to see this cellar, Mister Jago.

[EXT. Hansom cab]

(Chang's LORD, CHANG, and MR SIN are in a cab. Chang's master holds a thick circular item, like a giant whitish lozenge, as the cab makes its way down the street.)
LORD: You are certain these are different streets?
CHANG: The driver has his orders. Every night we quarter a new sector.
LORD: For how much longer?
CHANG: Patience, Lord. We know the time cabinet is here. The cabinet of Weng-Chiang in the house of an infidel. We shall recover it.
LORD: I grow weary, Chang. (He coughs.)
CHANG: Tomorrow I bring you two donors. Young, plump, high-spirited girls. The distillation of their life essences will recover your powers, Lord.

[INT. Theatre, cellar]

JAGO: It was over here. Here, sir, this is where it was, down here.
DOCTOR: What were you doing down here?
JAGO: I was reassuring Casey-
DOCTOR: Who?
JAGO: My factotum. He's taken to seeing ghosts lately. He's a good fellow, Casey, but about as sharp as the corners of a round table. Great Jumping Jehosophat! What a spider! That must be the grand-daddy of them all.
DOCTOR: It's a money spider.
JAGO: A money spider?
DOCTOR: Yes.
JAGO: Don't kill it.
DOCTOR: Genetic disruption. Where does it come from? What's under here?
JAGO: You mean right where we're standing?
DOCTOR: Yes.
JAGO: Well, they say the course of the River Fleet runs right-
DOCTOR: Fleet?
JAGO: Yes, the River Fleet runs right under these foundations.
DOCTOR: (squatting) Excellent. We're getting somewhere.

[INT. Litefoot's dining room]

(LITEFOOT lights a gas lamp.)
LITEFOOT: Ah, now, let's see what we have here. Mrs Hudson always leaves me a cold collation.
(The sideboard is replete with foods.)
LITEFOOT: Ham, roast beef, chicken, tongue. Those look like quail, unless I'm much mistaken.
LEELA: Meat.
(LEELA grabs a jset of ribs and takes a big bite.)
LITEFOOT: Yes, well, perhaps we shouldn't wait for your friend the Doctor. Help yourself, my dear. Plates on the end of the table. I'll, erm, I'll just put a log or two on the fire.
LEELA: (taking another bite) It's good.
LITEFOOT: Oh, I'm so glad.
LEELA: Is something wrong?
LITEFOOT: No, no. Would you care for a knife or a fork?
(LEELA hefts a large carving knife and cuts into the hunk of meat experimentally.)
LEELA: It's a good knife. Aren't you going to eat?
LITEFOOT: Yes, yes.
(He picks up a plate, looks at it for a moment, and sets it down. He picks up a leg of lamb.)
LITEFOOT: Just going to eat. (He takes a bite.)

[EXT. Hansom cab]

(The device held in Chang's LORD's gloved hands starts glowing white. We get a closer look at this thick disc, which bears the general pattern of a large 'S' in a circle.)
LORD: Stop! Stop! Somewhere here. Somewhere. One of these dwellings!

[EXT. Outside Litefoot's house]

(The disc is now pulsing. They all get out of the cab, with the disc guiding their way.)
LORD: This is the place, Chang. The time cabinet is in there.
CHANG: Leave the rest to your servants, Lord. Go back to your abode.
LORD: I must have the time cabinet. (He coughs.)
CHANG: Lord, your weakness grows. Go, go back, rest. I will bring the cabinet to you.
LORD: Very well, but do not fail me now, Chang.

[INT. Theatre, cellar]

(The DOCTOR is throwing props over his shoulder. JAGO holds several items already, including fake flowers.)
DOCTOR: Well, if there is a secret entrance, it's expertly hidden.
(A semi-translucent wavering apparition makes itself seen, a cross between a large skull and a figure in a white sheet. We hear clanking of chains.)
DOCTOR: How very interesting.
(JAGO faints.)
DOCTOR: Do you know what this is? (noticing JAGO's state and sighing) Come on, Rock of Gibraltar.
(The DOCTOR drags JAGO away.)

[INT. Litefoot's dining room]

(At the table, the pair are now eating from plates, though Leela's knife and fork still sit untouched. She picks up a large bowl and takes a large drink from it, then sets this pink dessert back in the middle of the table. When she grabs the edge of the tablecloth to wipe her hands, an uncomfortable Litefoot can stand it no longer and holds up a serviette.)
LITEFOOT: Napkin.
LEELA: Thank you, Professor.
(She unfolds it but still wipes one hand on her sleeve.)
LITEFOOT: The Doctor's taking a long time. I hope he did note the address.
(He places his sherry glass on the drinks table and, at the bay window, peers between the curtains.)
LITEFOOT: Great Scott!
LEELA: What is it?
LITEFOOT: There's somebody out there watching the house.
LEELA: Where?
LITEFOOT: Someone stepped back into the shrubbery as I looked out.
(LITEFOOT collects a revolver from a drawer.)
LITEFOOT: Some scoundrel up to no good. Odd thing, I could swear he was a Chinese. Well, whoever he is, I'll give him more than he expected. No, you wait here.

[INT. Theatre, backstage]

(JAGO rouses from his faint.)
DOCTOR: How are you feeling?
JAGO: The ghost! I saw it. Casey, forgive me.
DOCTOR: No.
JAGO: I saw it.
DOCTOR: It was a hologram.
JAGO: I always thought there was something unnatural about that cellar.
DOCTOR: There's nothing unnatural about the holograph technique. Projection of light by a laser beam.
(He is unscrewing the end of his cane.)
JAGO: What?
DOCTOR: Don't worry. It wasn't known in this century.
(The DOCTOR takes a small flask from the cane.)
DOCTOR: Drink this. Go on, you'll feel better.
(JAGO tries the substance within and is rather startled.)
JAGO: What's that?
(He refers to a light in the body of the theatre.)
DOCTOR: Sshhh.
(He goes to check it out.)

[INT. Stage area]

(The investigation takes the DOCTOR to the main stage, where he steps through the curtain and looks out. Noticing the light high above, he begins climbing a ladder to the flies above the stage. A figure throws a large papier-mâché head down at him, and the DOCTOR loses his footing. His fall is broken by a costume hamper. Undeterred, he heads upward again. From the flashes of robe and mask, we can tell that the person he is pursuing ever higher is Chang's LORD, who grabs hold of a rope and swings across to the other side of the stage from the DOCTOR. While trying to spot the figure, he is pushed from a catwalk from behind. He grabs the top of a backdrop, which begins to tear under his weight. The masked figure slides down to the stage on a rope, landing not far behind JAGO, who is doing his own peering about. This leaves JAGO clonked on the head, and he falls unconscious.
We return to the DOCTOR, whose piece of scenery finally tears fully and deposits him fairly gently on the stage floor. He and a staggering JAGO meet at this point.)
JAGO: Oh, oh, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Cheer up, Jago, cheer up. (The DOCTOR walks off.)

[INT. Theatre, cellar]

(The DOCTOR looks about but sees no-one.)
DOCTOR: He's gone back to his rats. Are you all right?
JAGO: Yes, I think so. Who the devil was it?
DOCTOR: I've no idea. He didn't introduce himself.
JAGO: Shall I call in the local police?
DOCTOR: Oh, Henry Gordon Jago. Then our reclusive phantom would simply vanish - poof!
JAGO: Oh, good heavens, yes.
DOCTOR: We can tackle it together, you and I.
JAGO: What are you going to do?
DOCTOR: Think. I'm going to have some supper.
JAGO: Ah.

[INT. Litefoot's dining room]

(Wearing his robe, Professor LITEFOOT has gone out onto his grounds, with the revolver at the ready. A dog barks, but he pays this no mind and is satisfied. He heads back to the front door as LEELA stands at the window.)
LITEFOOT [OC]: Nobody out there now. Fellow must have got wind of-
(There is a thud.)
LEELA: Professor? Are you there? Professor!
(LEELA opens the dining room door, where MR SIN now stands, holding up a knife. He grunts as he steps forward.)

The above notes, transcription, etc. by Anna Shefl

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