z Tallinn Crap Beer Festival

[IMG: TCrBF banner, by SJ]

[IMG: contact address for tcrbf at grex]

Intoxative summary

The Tallinn Crap Beer Festival has traditionally appeared near the thirsty queue for the Tallinn Craft Beer Weekend on Saturday afternoon.

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What is TCrBF? An overview is below...
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A Crap photo gallery: Some photos and media nonsense
--> Now updated to include 2020 stuff - shout if you find more...


...The previous festival


The archived updates on TCrBF2020 are thataway ->

        


TCrBF 2021 updates

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5 May 2021

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The spring(ish) weather saw our TCrBF trainers on hand
to lead hands-on training in the obvious field.

[IMG: Toilet training sign Some of them drawn in by the Health and Safety officer's announcement
and others rolling in along the red carpet,
soon the trainees began to arrive:

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And here are some of the drainees (with Lithuania Leading the way)...
(Yes, everything was drained)
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Training of this sort clearly required limbering up one's muscles,
so there was plenty of weight-lifting equipment available.
Some eager learners were soon ready to try with both hands
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'Please, sir, may I have some more?'

'Dark beers matter too!'

'Anyone need brewing lessons?'              
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There was time for a few classics too,
thanks to this Q&A question: 'Why?!'

Is that green?    ...Yes, it's green.              

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While a Crap time was had by all,
there is a clear need for refresher refreshment training -
after all, the slideshow was very clear about avoiding spills!
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2 May 2021


We are pissedpleased to report:
The TCrBF instruction event was largely suckcessful,
with plenty of liquid hilarity.

While we had several satisfied, horrified toilet trainees,
refresher refreshment training may still be required.
Work has begun to develop a booster shot of boost.
Watch this space this beer season!

Some details from Saturday will follow in a day or two,
including photos and perhaps even the presentation materials.

Thanks all, and BUUUURP!



25 April 2021


Outdoor training before Team Beer's season-opener:

• A LESSEN YOU WON'T FORGET •

1 May (Sat.), mid-afternoon, outside The Place

• HANDS-ON DESTRUCTION •

More than you ever wanted to know about Crap Beer...

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12 April 2021

Mayday, Mayday!

Collision with a scheissberg on May Day!


The plan is for the same procedure as last year.

...So let's put on a good (shit)show!

New-arrival highlights:
- an ultra-strong delivery from the Netherlands and the bottom shelf of a Lithuanian supermarket.

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22 February 2021


Getting thirsty?
        So are we!

So get your shit together,
        and let's do this thing!

As always,
Vomnomnom!


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8 Septober 2020

While you're thirsty for our next fest, the 19½th TCrBF,
let's look back on some drinker feedback on the Crap experience:

I just realised I remember next to no beers from the last TCBW
but I do remember stuff from the crap beer fest

Thank you! That was so horrible!


And here are three of the testimonials/comments found on the Weird Wide Web:

[...] heti paikalle kaasuttaessamme havaitsimme kaukoputkesta Tallinan Crap Beer Festival olevan menossa täyttä häkää. Niitä ihanan miehekkäitä 1,5l muovipulloja täynnä halvinta ja vahvinta bisseä janoisille. Ilman mitään helkkarin Sherry-tynnyreitä, maustekaappia ja liito-oravannahkapulloja. Sellaista jolla voi firman saunaillassa pönkittää varastomiehen egoa Vantaalta ja lyödä pöytään litran Karhua isomman falloksen.

What people do? Why? :D

Sitten olikin sen olutfestarin aika. Pöytään oli katettu vaikka minkälaista herkkua! Ehdimme juuri ja juuri ennen kuin kehutun City Breweryn tuotteet "Peach" ja "Apple" olivat loppuneet. Nämä maustetut happamat oluet ovat kuulemma trendikkäitä nykyään.
Muita vahvoja suorituksia nähtiin mm. Glubczyceltä, jonka Romper Strong kilpaili vahvasti festarin parhaan oluen palkinnosta, kahdella laatuoluella vakuuttaneelta Sulimarilta, sekä AnHeuser Buschilta, joka osaa tehdä malt liquoristakin vetisen.


And that's all for now. See you next beer!

 

Overview

[IMG: Prosenttimies logo] You might think that the whole idea of TCrBF is nonsense - and you may be right. It might be a refreshing oasis for the stomach or beer scene, or it might be just a mirage. Either way, you blink and then it's gone.

As with everything in life, there are two sides to every story, and that includes beer. TCrBF is that other side. TCrBF is those memories about beer that you've forgotten you even had. TCrBF is the wide-eyed view of the world that was accepting of all, without prejudice. TCrBF is you.


Any opinions expressed on this page are opinions. And any resemblance to real facts or events is purely coincidental.