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DOCTOR WHO
THE PIRATE PLANET
Written by
Douglas Adams
Part One
(We pan across an adobe city with its rounded archways on the skyline. In stark contrast to their white is a three-pod domed structure in black. Within this structure, half-embedded in the top of the mountain, is the bridge, where technicians stride purposefully between various computer banks and panels.)
[INT. Bridge]
(We pull back to see the chair from which the Captain rules his roost.)
CAPTAIN [begins OC]: Mister Fibuli! Mister Fibuli! By all the x-ray storms of Vega, where is that nincompoop?
TANNOY: Calling Mister Fibuli. Mister Fibuli required on the bridge immediately.
CAPTAIN: Moons of madness! Why am I encumbered with incompetents?
(A man wearing an olive-green uniform hastens toward the Captain, collecting papers from the technicians as he does so.)
FIBULI: Captain, sir.
CAPTAIN: Your report, Mister Fibuli...
FIBULI: Yes, sir. I have it.
CAPTAIN: ...is thirty seconds late.
FIBULI: Yes, sir.
CAPTAIN: My qualities are many, Mister Fibuli...
FIBULI: Oh, yes, sir.
CAPTAIN: ...but an infinite capacity for patience is not amongst them.
(A metal item rotates, apparently to face the flustered Fibuli, adding to his distress. He backs away.)
FIBULI: I apologise most abjectly, Captain, but I do have good news, sir.
(The CAPTAIN strokes the metal item, which makes small sounds as he does so.)
CAPTAIN: I hope you do.
FIBULI: Well, sir, all deposits of the minerals voolium, galdrium, and assetenite four five five have now been mined, processed, and stored, sir. Good quantities of aluminas, the usual, sir. Carbon isotopes, etc., etc. And the residue has been processed-
CAPTAIN: In the normal way.
FIBULI: -Way. Here is a list of the minerals, sir.
CAPTAIN: Pah! Baubles. Baubles! Dross and baubles! We must find vasilium. We must find madranite one five.
FIBULI: Well, sir, we have located a new source.
CAPTAIN: Excellent, excellent.
FIBULI: That's what caused the delay, Captain. We wanted to be absolutely certain - it's in an unexpected sector. Here, let me show you this chart.
(The CAPTAIN, on whose shoulder the metal item - resembling an electronic parrot - is shown to be sitting, takes a look at the chart and casts it aside.)
CAPTAIN: We'll mine it. Make immediate preparations.
FIBULI: Well, there is something rather curious, Captain. Here is a detailed description of the sector.
CAPTAIN: I said we'll mine it, Mister Fibuli!
FIBULI: But sir-
CAPTAIN: Make immediate preparations, now, or I'll have your bones bleached. Is that clear?
FIBULI: (adjusting his spectacles, then saluting) Aye-aye, Captain. Thank you, sir.
(FIBULI hurriedly leaves the room, and we now see the CAPTAIN more fully, rather a cyborg sort of chap, with his left eye, arm, and we know not what else electronic. He speaks into the microphone attached in front of his mouth.)
CAPTAIN: Hear this. Now hear this. This is your Captain speaking.
[EXT. City]
CAPTAIN [OC]: Citizens, prepare yourselves. Watch for the omens. I declare a new golden age of prosperity for all.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
CAPTAIN [OC]: I say again, I declare the dawning of a new golden age of prosperity.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
CAPTAIN: Watch for the omens.
[INT. Mentiad base]
(In a dimly lit room, a circle of people in slightly tattered orange robes are communing.)
MENTIAD: (pulling back his hood) Watch!
(We watch through Mentiad eyes as a young man in the city listens to the pronouncements.)
CAPTAIN [OC]: The mines will once again be full of riches.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
CAPTAIN [OC]: Richer jewels.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
CAPTAIN: Finer clothes.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
CAPTAIN: Food in greater abundance.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
(The young man, PRALIX, is the only one not smiling. He quietly leaves the crowd behind.)
CAPTAIN: Wealth beyond the dreams of avarice will be yours.
CITIZENS: Hooray!
(The image of PRALIX is seen in high contrast in an oval on the wall.)
MENTIAD: Brothers, are we agreed?
BROTHERS: Oh yes.
MENTIAD: We have found another. Brothers, the days grow dark. The time of evil is once more come. We must prepare.
BROTHERS: We must prepare.
[INT. TARDIS kitchen]
DOCTOR: There you are, K9. The first segment of the Key to Time. A job well done.
(He polishes the segment with a yellow duster.)
K9: Correction, Master. A job well done to the extent of nought point one six six six six six...
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes. The others will be easy, a piece of cake.
K9: Piece of cake, Master?
DOCTOR: Mmm.
(The DOCTOR opens the door to a small refrigerator.)
K9: Piece of cake. Radial segment of baked confection. Coefficient and relevance to the Key of Time zero.
DOCTOR: That's what I said, K9. Piece of cake.
(He places the segment in a styrofoam-look container, which he puts in the fridge.)
[INT. TARDIS console room]
(The DOCTOR enters, followed by K9. ROMANA is reading an imposing volume upon a lectern.)
DOCTOR: Good morrow, Romana. That looks interesting.
ROMANA: Good morning, Doctor.
DOCTOR: What are you reading?
ROMANA: Oh, just familiarising myself with the technical details of this capsule.
DOCTOR: Capsule? What kind of a word is that? If you mean TARDIS, why don't you say 'TARDIS'?
ROMANA: The Type Forty capsule wasn't on the main syllabus, you see.
DOCTOR: Not on the syllabus. I don't know what the Academy's coming to these days.
ROMANA: Veteran and vintage vehicles was an optional extra. I preferred something more interesting.
DOCTOR: Really? Like what?
ROMANA: Oh, the life cycle of the Gallifreyan flutterwing.
DOCTOR: Now you're being frivolous.
ROMANA: I wouldn't dream of it.
(The DOCTOR inserts the key tracer into its socket, to the accompanying sound.)
DOCTOR: Oh, no!
ROMANA: What?
DOCTOR: How paralysingly dull, boring, and tedious.
ROMANA: Oh, our next destination?
DOCTOR: Yes. Calufrax.
ROMANA: Calufrax?
DOCTOR: Yes. Mean little planet. Still... Listen, why don't you watch while I set the co-ordinates on this vintage veteran of mine? Maybe you'll learn something.
ROMANA: Right. (as the DOCTOR flips some switches) Uh, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Mmm?
ROMANA: What about the synchronic feedback checking circuit?
DOCTOR: What about it?
ROMANA: Aren't you going to set it?
DOCTOR: No, no, no. I never bother about that. Complete waste of time.
ROMANA: Oh. According to the manual, it's essential.
DOCTOR: Listen, have you any idea how long I've been operating this TARDIS?
ROMANA: Five hundred and twenty-three years.
DOCTOR: Right! Is it really that long? My, how time flies.
ROMANA: Hasn't it? And the multi-loop stabiliser?
DOCTOR: What?
ROMANA: Multi-loop stabiliser. It says here 'on any capsule, it will be found impossible to effect a smooth materialisation without first activating the multi-loop stabiliser.'
DOCTOR: Oh. Absolute rubbish.
(He tears the offending page from the instruction tome.)
DOCTOR: Now, I'll show you a really smooth materialisation without a multi-loop anything. Watch this. Calufrax, here we come.
(The TARDIS goes out of focus and shimmers in space-time.)
ROMANA: What's happening?
DOCTOR: She won't materialise.
K9: Danger, Master, danger!
DOCTOR: Of course, K9, of course. Ooh!
(The DOCTOR hits his face on the console.)
ROMANA: Something wrong?
(The DOCTOR holds his hand over his mouth.)
DOCTOR: No. No, no, no. Nothing at all.
[INT. Bridge]
(Various alarms are sounding.)
CAPTAIN: Imbeciles! Fools! Thrice worse than incompetent idiots! What pernicious injury have you inflicted on my precious engines? Mister Fibuli!
FIBULI: Captain.
CAPTAIN: Are you trying to scuttle this planet?
FIBULI: No, sir. I've run a quick inspection, sir, and the, er, the actual damage isn't as bad as we...
CAPTAIN: Do not trifle with me, Mister Fibuli. What happened?
FIBULI: As far as we can tell, sir, some freak local disturbance, probably electromagnetic-
CAPTAIN: What?
FIBULI: It passed very quickly.
CAPTAIN: Idle prattlings, Mister Fibuli. I will know the truth! (he sticks his cybernetic hand into a control panel) I have oscilloscope readings. There, Mister Fibuli, there's your local electromagnetic disturbance. What do you make of those readings?
FIBULI: That's extraordinary.
CAPTAIN: See? For ten seconds, the entire fabric of the space-time continuum was ripped apart. Panaccenteration readings, critical overload, every system jammed solid. Gravity dilation readings. There, Mister Fibuli. Can you explain those figures?
FIBULI: Not off the top of my head, sir.
CAPTAIN: No? And why not? Because for ten seconds, the whole infrastructure of quantum physics was in retreat. Find out what happened, Mister Fibuli, and find out fast, or, by all the fires of night, I'll have that skull off you!
[INT. TARDIS console room]
DOCTOR: Not so. I am perfectly capable of admitting when I am wrong.
ROMANA: Oh.
DOCTOR: Yes. Only this time I wasn't. There was definitely something out there jamming our materialisation field.
ROMANA: Oh, that's what it was.
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, that's what it was. Yes. Whatever it was, it wasn't a multi-loop whatsit or anything else to do with that manual.
ROMANA: No, of course not. May I try?
DOCTOR: What, by the book?
ROMANA: Yes.
DOCTOR: Yes, all right, all right. You do it your way.
ROMANA: Thank you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: You'll see. There's definitely something out there jamming our materialisation field.
ROMANA: Right. Synchronic feedback.
DOCTOR: Won't make a scrap of difference.
ROMANA: We'll see. Multi-loop stabiliser.
(The DOCTOR huddles beside K9, placing his hands over his ears.)
DOCTOR: Look out, K9. Hold on.
ROMANA: Now.
(The TARDIS materialises without incident under an arch in the city.)
ROMANA: Well?
DOCTOR: (removing his hands from over his ears) Good.
ROMANA: Thank you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: That was very, very good. Wasn't that good, K9?
K9: Very, very, very good, Master.
DOCTOR: Oh, terribly good. Listen, I think she's going to be all right. Very all right.
K9: Very, very all right.
ROMANA: Shall we have a look at Calufrax now?
DOCTOR: Oh, all right then. Let's get it over with. Horrible place. Cold, wet, icy. No life of any sort. Boring.
(ROMANA is watching the scanner, which shows the city and people walking about.)
ROMANA: It looks very pleasant to me.
DOCTOR: What? Calufrax? You have made an enormous mistake. You've probably, you've probably missed it by a couple of million light years!
(K9 begins spinning on the spot.)
DOCTOR: I wonder what's biting him.
[INT. Mentiad base]
(The MENTIADS walk in a circle. Something flickers in the air above them.)
MENTIADS: Life force dying. Life force dying.
(We see PRALIX on a bed, tossing his head about and crying out in agony.)
MENTIADS: Life force dying. Life force dying. Life force dying. Life force dying. Life force dying. Life force dying!
[INT. Pralix's bedroom]
(The young man's sister and grandfather watch him nervously as his delirium continues.)
BALATON: Calm yourself, Pralix. You must calm yourself.
MULA: He's much worse than last time, Grandfather. Pralix, can't you hear us? Tell us what's wrong.
BALATON: It is a mistake to ask too many questions.
MULA: That's your answer to everything, isn't it?
BALATON: I have no need for answers, for all I ask is a quiet life. Pralix, Pralix, you must calm yourself. Calm yourself!
[INT. TARDIS console room]
DOCTOR: That's strange.
ROMANA: Well?
DOCTOR: Can't be right. It is right. But it can't be, can it?
ROMANA: Have you decided where we are, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, according to these space-time co-ordinates, we have arrived at precisely the right point in space at precisely the right time.
ROMANA: Yes, I know.
DOCTOR: But to the wrong planet.
ROMANA: What?
DOCTOR: This isn't Calufrax.
ROMANA: Then where are we?
DOCTOR: I haven't got the faintest idea. All I do know is that this planet wasn't here when I tried to land.
[INT. Main area of Balaton's home]
(PRALIX is screaming, out of view.)
BALATON: People will hear. Oh dear, I'm sure people can hear.
MULA: Grandfather, Pralix is very ill and all you can think about is what will happen if the neighbours hear.
BALATON: You know very well what will happen.
MULA: Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
BALATON: Oh, Mula, don't spoil everything by asking so many questions. I think I'm going to lose one grandchild already. Please don't let it be both of you. Just settle down and enjoy what life gives you so freely.
MULA: Listen, someone's coming.
BALATON: Quickly, the curtains.
(MULA draws the curtains across the entrance to Pralix's bedroom. A man enters through the bead curtain at the main door.)
KIMUS: Balaton?
MULA: Kimus! Thank goodness it's only you.
KIMUS: Only me? What's wrong with him?
(MULA hugs KIMUS.)
MULA: We thought that...
KIMUS: What?
MULA: Never mind.
(PRALIX calls out, delirious.)
KIMUS: Pralix.
PRALIX [OC]: Life force is dying. Life force dying. Life force dying!
[INT. Pralix's bedroom]
KIMUS: Again?
[INT. Mentiad base]
(The image on the wall changes from Pralix to the Doctor leaving the TARDIS.)
MENTIAD: We have an intruder. And wait, there is another. We must act, act at once.
[EXT. City]
(The tracer is crackling.)
ROMANA: Uninhabited, ice-coated planet?
DOCTOR: Yes.
ROMANA: Well, we've certainly come to the right place. The signal's coming from everywhere.
DOCTOR: (after taking the tracer, examining it, and handing it back) Never trust gimmicky gadgets.
K9: Sentient life form approaching.
ROMANA: What?
DOCTOR: It's all right. It just means someone's coming.
ROMANA: I know what it means. Excuse me.
DOCTOR: No, no, excuse me. I'll do it.
(Two Zanak locals walk through the plaza. The DOCTOR addresses them.)
DOCTOR: Excuse me. Would you take me to your leader? What we'd like to know, you see, is what planet...
(ROMANA secretes the tracer in her sleeve.)
DOCTOR: (raising an arm as others enter) Halt! What we-
(They too walk right past.)
DOCTOR: You're not doing very well, K9.
K9: Master?
DOCTOR: No.
K9: Suggestion, Master.
DOCTOR: What?
K9: Suggest you allow mistress to make contact.
DOCTOR: Nonsense! Making contact with an alien race is an immensely skilled and delicate operation. It calls for tact and experience. What would she know about it?
(A young MAN enters the frame.)
ROMANA: Hello. Excuse me.
MAN: Yes?
K9: She is prettier than you, Master.
DOCTOR: Is she? What's that got to do with it?
MAN: It's a new golden age, you see. A golden age of prosperity. I must say I still get very excited about it all. I know we have them rather often now, but that's because of the Captain's great goodness, you see.
DOCTOR: Excuse me.
ROMANA: Just a minute. The Captain?
MAN: Oh, yes. It's the Captain who does it all for us, and it really was spectacular this time. The omens. The skies shook with lightning. We are going to be very rich. Very, very rich.
ROMANA: What, just like that? Because of lights in the sky?
MAN: Oh, yes. That's the way it always happens. Here, have some diamonds. And, yes, I've got a ruby. Suit a pretty girl like you.
ROMANA: Ooh! Thank you very much.
DOCTOR: Excuse me.
ROMANA: Would you like some jelly babies?
MAN: Oh, thank you very much.
DOCTOR: Hey. Excuse me.
MAN: What are they?
DOCTOR: Sweets. You eat them. Go on.
MAN: Oh, thank you. (taking four of them) Well, I'll be late for the feasts. Nice to meet you. Watch out for the Mentiads.
ROMANA: The who?
(But the man has left.)
DOCTOR: Er, excuse me! What I'd like to know. (he gives up) Where did you get those jelly babies?
ROMANA: Same place you get them.
DOCTOR: Where?
ROMANA: Your pocket.
DOCTOR: Look, good looks are no substitute for a sound character, hmm? Did he say anything about omens?
ROMANA: Omens in the sky.
DOCTOR: Really?
(A GUARD in a black uniform with studs accosts the MAN as he eats the jelly babies.)
GUARD: Where did you get those?
MAN: Er, back there, sir.
DOCTOR: I think that these stones are genuine. What do you think, K9?
K9: Affirmative, Master. The clear ones are the diamonds, and the red ones are the rubies.
DOCTOR: Oh, thank you very much. And what colour are the amethysts?
K9: Purple, Master.
DOCTOR: Affirmative.
(ROMANA is using the Doctor's telescope, while he examines the raw gemstones on the ground.)
DOCTOR: Extraordinary - the place is littered with them. Diamonds, Andromedan bloodstones, gravel, more diamonds. Don't they have street-sweepers here?
ROMANA: Well, perhaps these stones aren't valuable here, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Diamonds and rubies not valuable?
ROMANA: What's this?
K9: Oolian, Mistress.
ROMANA: Oolian?
DOCTOR: Oolian?
K9: Affirmative.
(Romana picks up a large chunk of green.)
DOCTOR: Oolian? Now that is rare. That's one of the most precious stones in the galaxy. It only occurs naturally in two places that I know of. Qualactin and Bandraginus 5. Bandraginus 5? Where have I heard that mentioned recently?
ROMANA: It's beautiful.
DOCTOR: Yeah, hold it up to the light. People have murdered for that beauty, ravaged empires for it, and lying in the streets exactly where I wasn't expecting to find it. I wonder where Calufrax got to.
[INT. Main part of Balaton's home]
MULA: Poor Pralix. Why? What does it all mean?
BALATON: Why should it mean anything? It's just the way life is. Accept it.
KIMUS: Oh yes, we can have anything we want, can't we? Apart from the freedom to think for ourselves. I'd like to know what I'm accepting, old man.
[INT. Pralix's bedroom]
BALATON: I remember when I was a lad. Now things were very different then. You think you have no freedom now? You ought to have been here under old Queen Xanxia.
MULA: Shush, both of you. Think of poor Pralix. He must have quietness.
KIMUS: Why? We've all been quiet for too long, and for what?
[INT. Main part of Balaton's home]
KIMUS: (to MULA) Pretty clothes? Pockets full of useless trinkets? That isn't what life ought to be about.
BALATON: Kimus, you are a dangerous fool. Don't listen to him, Mula. If you love your brother, you must shelter him, hide him, protect him from the Mentiads. Remember what happened to your father.
MULA: My father didn't fall into the hands of the Mentiads.
BALATON: No.
MULA: He was shot by the Captain's guards.
BALATON: To save him from the Mentiads. At least he died a clean death. It was an act of mercy by the Captain.
KIMUS: Oh well, thank you, o merciful Captain, for so kindly having Mula's father shot down in the street like a dog.
BALATON: Listen, Kimus, let me tell you this. I would cheerfully strangle Pralix with my own hands to save him from those, those... (He clasps his hands together.)
[INT. Mentiad base]
MENTIAD: Brothers, the Vigil of Evil is accomplished. The one called Pralix must be harvested. The Time of Knowing shall be soon, and fast upon that shall follow the Time of Vengeance. Vengeance for the crimes of Zanak!
BROTHERS: Vengeance for the crimes of Zanak.
(They raise their hoods and file out.)
[EXT. City]
(The DOCTOR addresses an approaching man.)
DOCTOR: Excuse me, have you seen Calufrax?
(The man is spooked and runs off.)
DOCTOR: It's a sort of planet, about fourteen thousand kilometres across, oblate spheroid.
(Another couple enter the plaza.)
DOCTOR: Excuse me, I'm looking for a planet called Calufrax.
(They too run off.)
DOCTOR: It's about fourteen thousand kilometres across, it's an oblate spheroid, and it's covered in ice. Excuse me. (shouting now) Has anybody seen a planet called Calufrax? Funny, nobody's seen it.
PRALIX [OC]: The life force is dead! The life force is dead!
DOCTOR: Well, someone's around, anyway.
PRALIX [OC]: We're all murderers! Murderers!
ROMANA: It came from over there.
DOCTOR: Over there? You stay here. I'll go and see.
(We get a quick 'meanwhile' shot as the MENTIADS cross grassy hills, approaching the city.)
[INT. Pralix's bedroom]
(KIMUS and MULA try to hold PRALIX down, and he's not making this easy for them.)
BALATON: We're done for! They must be nearly here! They'll take him as they tried to take your father!
MULA: We must hide him.
KIMUS: We can't hide him forever.
[INT. Main part of Balaton's home]
(The 'doorbell' rings - this is the DOCTOR with a small brass bell.)
DOCTOR: Excuse me, are you sure this planet's meant to be here?
[EXT. City]
(GUARDS approach ROMANA, who is using the telescope to look at our domed metal structure. One snatches the telescope from her.)
GUARD: This is a forbidden object.
ROMANA: Why?
GUARD: That is a forbidden question. You are a stranger?
ROMANA: Well, yes.
GUARD: Strangers are forbidden.
ROMANA: I did come with the Doctor.
GUARD: Who is-
ROMANA: Ah, now, don't tell me. Doctors are forbidden as well.
GUARD: You are under arrest. Come.
ROMANA: No, K9, you mustn't.
GUARD: What did you say?
ROMANA: What I said was 'No K9, you mustn't (pause) fetch the Doctor.'
GUARD: You're mad. Move.
(The GUARD leads ROMANA away. K9 heads off. And we get another shot of the MENTIADS on their approach.)
[INT. Bridge]
CAPTAIN: We're surrounded by incompetents, you and I. Incompetents and fools. You're my only true friend. Never mind. Not long now. Not long now before it's finished and we'll be free. (His parrot machine must agree with him.)
FIBULI: Captain! Captain, sir.
CAPTAIN: Speak!
FIBULI: The Mentiads are marching, sir.
CAPTAIN: Vultures of death! Ghouls!
FIBULI: They must have located another rogue telepath. Channel twenty-one, sir. Sector 5.
(The CAPTAIN brings up the location on the circular monitor opposite.)
CAPTAIN: Sector 5? The Mentiads are heading towards Sector 5? The telepath must not be taken. Find him and destroy him, or, by all the suns that blaze, I'll tear you apart, molecule from molecule.
(Several GUARDS take up camp above a narrow stream. They open fire with energy weapons as the MENTIADS approach from the opposite shore. The shots have no effect. One GUARD tries again, at closer range. He gets a psychic shove, as a sound effect knocks him to the ground. We pull back and all of this is shown on the Captain's viewscreen.)
CAPTAIN: Idiot! Brainless fool! All guards, the Mentiads are heading towards Sector 6. Find the telepath. Find him and destroy him!
[INT. Main room of Balaton's home]
(PRALIX is now in a recliner, almost catatonic. The DOCTOR pinches PRALIX's nose and then leans in closer.)
DOCTOR: He's in a state of shock.
MULA: He does this every time the Captain announces a new golden age of prosperity.
DOCTOR: What, every time?
MULA: Well, the last two or three times, yes.
DOCTOR: Hmm. Tell me about this Captain. Pleasant sort of chap, is he?
MULA: We've never seen him.
BALATON: But he is great and good. He looks after us and makes us rich.
KIMUS: He makes us his fools.
DOCTOR: Really? That's a very interesting observation.
PRALIX: The Mentiads!
DOCTOR: Mentiads? I've heard that somewhere before.
[INT. Bridge]
CAPTAIN: Find him! Find him! Find him and destroy him! Search Sector 6.
FIBULI: Er, 7.
CAPTAIN: Search Sector 7.
(The viewscreen, which has been showing the city, displays K9.)
CAPTAIN: What the planet's bane is that?
(The electronic parrot expresses interest.)
CAPTAIN: Search that house.
[INT. Main part of Balaton's home]
K9: Master.
BALATON: Save us! Captain, save us!
KIMUS: What is it?
DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, it's all right. It's all right, it's a friend of mine. Aren't you a friend of mine, K9?
K9: Affirmative, Master. Friend.
DOCTOR: Now then, tell me about the Mentiads.
BALATON: They are evil zombies. They have terrible powers.
K9: Master.
PRALIX: Mentiads! They're coming.
K9: Mistress is in danger.
DOCTOR: Pralix, what do the Mentiads want of you? What is it?
MULA: Kimus! Kimus!
(Two GUARDS enter.)
GUARD: That's him. Shoot!
(It is K9 who does the shooting.)
DOCTOR: How long have you stunned them for, K9?
K9: Indefinitely, Master.
DOCTOR: Good, good. Evil zombies? Terrible powers?
KIMUS: They're not Mentiads. They were the Captain's guards.
PRALIX: The Mentiads!
DOCTOR: Pralix. Pralix, what is it?
BALATON: We must hide him. We must hide him. They must be nearly here. Oh, the Captain's way was better.
MULA: Listen, they're coming. There's no way we can hide him.
KIMUS: No, you're cowards, both of you. We must fight.
DOCTOR: Pralix, can you hear my voice?
KIMUS: We're not going to be pampered, frightened vegetables anymore. We've got friends now.
DOCTOR: Pralix. Pralix, can you hear my voice? What is it? Hello? Hello. Are you by any chance the Mentiads? Well, it's just that, uh, you look like Mentiads to me.
(The MENTIADS gaze at the Doctor, and he falls back against the wall as an orange light of psychic origin covers him. K9 fires, with no effect visible.)
DOCTOR: You see, what I thought was that, er-
(The MENTIADS shut him up for the longer term, with another glance.)
The above notes, transcription, etc. by Anna Shefl
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