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DOCTOR WHO
ROBOT

Written by
Terrance Dicks

Part One

(Overlap from the regeneration scene of the previous story)

[INT. UNIT laboratory]

BRIGADIER: Now, just a moment.
SARAH: Look, Brigadier, look. I think it's started.
BRIGADIER: Oh, well, here we go again.
(Jon Pertwee's countenance becomes that of Tom Baker. It is a younger, brown-haired man who stirs and begins mumbling. The BRIGADIER picks up the telephone as SARAH runs to the DOCTOR's side.)
BRIGADIER: Get me the medical officer. Lieutenant Sullivan, emergency. Come to the lab at once, please.
DOCTOR: Human history.
BRIGADIER: What's he talking about?
SARAH: It's something that happened when we first met.
DOCTOR: (sitting up) I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about. The brontosaurus is large and placid.
(Naval officer HARRY SULLIVAN enters.)
HARRY: This the patient, sir?
DOCTOR: (lying down again) And stupid. (he sits and grabs Sarah's arms) If the square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square on the other two sides, why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one. (He lies down again.)
(BENTON, now promoted from the rank of sergeant, enters.)
BENTON: (to the BRIGADIER) Excuse me, sir. The daily reports.
HARRY: Take him to the sick bay. I'll make a proper examination there.
BENTON: What's happening, sir? Who's...?
BRIGADIER: That, Mister Benton, is the Doctor.
BENTON: You mean he's done it again? He's changed?
BRIGADIER: Apparently. Saw it happen this time. Lieutenant Sullivan?
HARRY: Yes, sir?
BRIGADIER: I'm placing the Doctor in your personal charge. He's to have your full attention.
HARRY: Right-o, sir. (He leaves with his assistants, the DOCTOR, and SARAH.)
BRIGADIER: Right, anything urgent, Mister Benton?
BENTON: No, sir. Just routine.
BRIGADIER: Yes, everything seems pretty quiet.

[EXT. Weapons Research Centre]

(We are looking at what would seem to be a grid of small glass tiles if they weren't moving toward a sentry. We hear a constant low beeping. We see the vague shape of metal claws raised in front of our vantage point, at which the guard fires his pistol. He is attacked at the neck, and the metal claws tear through the barrier, locks and all, ignoring the warning signs, which include

MINISTRY OF DEFENCE
WEAPONS RESEARCH CENTRE
NO ADMITTANCE
WITHOUT PASS
GUARD DOGS PATROLLING

[INT. UNIT laboratory]

SARAH: Stolen? Who by?
BRIGADIER: No-one saw them. Probably enemy agents. Small commando squad. They found heavy-vehicle tracks. You realise, of course, Miss Smith, all this is top secret?
SARAH: Then why are you telling me?
BRIGADIER: Well, because I-. Because there's no-one else I can tell.
SARAH: The Doctor's still unconscious? Oh, he'll be all right. I know he will.
BRIGADIER: He used to drive me mad, but I miss having him about. You know, he'd have been interested in this robbery. There's some very strange features.
SARAH: Actually I want to ask a favour of you.
BRIGADIER: Yes, of course.
SARAH: Um, you know Think Tank, the 'frontiers of science research' place? All the latest of everything under one roof?
BRIGADIER: Yes, what about it?
SARAH: Well, now and again, exceptionally favoured journalists are allowed to visit it, and, well, for ages now I have been dying to-
BRIGADIER: You want me to get you a visitor's pass.
SARAH: Oh, please.
BRIGADIER: Nothing simpler. Come to my office and I'll fix it straight away.
SARAH: And could I see the Doctor before I go?
BRIGADIER: Yes, of course.
SARAH: You're sure you've got the right man to look after him?
BRIGADIER: Young Sullivan? Oh, he's a very fine chap. First-class doctor.
SARAH: Seems a bit old-fashioned.

[INT. UNIT corridor]

BRIGADIER: Nothing wrong with that, Miss Smith. You may not have noticed, but I'm a bit old-fashioned myself.
(One corner away from them, we see the DOCTOR putting on a jacket over a nightshirt. He is carrying a pair of boots at the same time.)
SARAH: Oh, nonsense, Brigadier. You're a swinger.
(The DOCTOR sneaks into the laboratory.)

[INT. UNIT laboratory]

(He is looking about when he turns round and spots the TARDIS.)
DOCTOR: Ah! (he tries the door, which is locked) Key. Key, key, key, key. Key, key.
(It's not in his jacket pockets. He shakes the boots, and out it drops.)
DOCTOR: Yes, of course. Obvious place. (He throws the boots down and starts inserting the key in the lock.)
HARRY: There you are. Now come along, Doctor, you're supposed to be in the sick bay.
DOCTOR: Am I? Don't you mean the infirmary?
HARRY: No, I do not mean the infirmary. I mean the sick bay. You're not fit yet.
DOCTOR: Not fit? I'm the Doctor.
HARRY: No, Doctor, I'm the doctor, and I say that you're not fit.
DOCTOR: You may be a doctor, but I'm the Doctor. The definite article, you might say.
HARRY: Look here, Doctor. You're not fit-
DOCTOR: Not fit? Not fit? Of course I'm fit. All systems go!
(He karate-chops a laboratory brick in half and begins running rapidly in place.)
HARRY: I say. Well, look-
(The DOCTOR takes Harry's stethoscope and places it over his chest. HARRY inserts the earpieces. The DOCTOR moves the stethoscope head to the other side.)
DOCTOR: Hearts beat?
HARRY: I say, I don't think that can be right.
DOCTOR: Both a bit fast, are they?
HARRY: Well, I-
DOCTOR: Still, must be patient. A new body's like a new house. It takes a little bit of time to settle in.
(He sees himself in a mirror and holds his hands up to his face and grimaces.)
DOCTOR: Oh. As for the physiognomy... Well, nothing's perfect. Have to take the rough with the smooth. Mind you, I think the nose is a definite improvement. As for the ears, well, I'm not too sure. Tell me quite frankly, what do you say to the ears?
HARRY: Well, I really don't know. I-
DOCTOR: Well, of course you don't. Why should you? You're a busy man. You don't want to stand here burbling about my ears. Neither here nor there. I can't waste any more time. Things to do, places to go. I'm a busy man too, you know. Thank you for a most interesting conversation. Must be on my way.
HARRY: There is absolutely no question of you leaving, Doctor. Now, you go back to the infirmary - I mean the sick bay - get into bed, and stay there until I say that you can get up.
DOCTOR: How can I prove my point?
(He re-enters the room. He knocks a piece of brick to the floor and then finds a length of rope. He takes one end in each hand.)
HARRY: I think I ought to warn you, Doctor, that there's grave danger of myocardial infarction, not to speak of pulmonary embolism.
DOCTOR: Yes, I should, I should- (he starts skipping rope, and HARRY is right next to him so has to join in, as the DOCTOR chants the rhyme) Mother, mother, I feel sick. Send for the doctor quick, quick, quick. Mother, dear, shall I die? Yes, my darling, by and by. One, two, three, four.

[INT. UNIT corridor]

BRIGADIER: There's only one place he can be.
SARAH: I thought you said Doctor Sullivan was looking after him.
BRIGADIER: He's supposed to be.
(They enter the laboratory.)

[INT. UNIT laboratory]

(They hear a banging.)
SARAH: Cupboard. (She finds Harry in the cupboard, with his feet tied above him.)
SARAH: What are you doing down there? Where's the Doctor?
HARRY: Tied me up and hung me up in here like a pair of old boots.
BRIGADIER: Well, where is he?
(We hear the TARDIS engine.)
BRIGADIER: Ah, too late.
SARAH: (rushing to the TARDIS door and banging on it) No! No, Doctor, wait! Doctor, listen. Please, it's Sarah!
(The TARDIS stops dematerialising. The DOCTOR appears in the door frame.)
SARAH: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Hello. Come to see me off, have you? Well, I hate goodbyes. I'll just slip away quietly.
SARAH: No, no, Doctor. You can't go.
DOCTOR: Can't? Can't? There's no such word as 'can't'.
(He slams the door in her face, but it soon opens again, after she's turned away. She turns back, startled.)
DOCTOR: Why not?
SARAH: Well, because you're not-. Well, because the, the Brigadier needs you. Don't you, Brigadier?
BRIGADIER: (looks up) What? Oh, yes, of course. Depending on you.
DOCTOR: What for?
SARAH: Er, well, there's been this robbery, hasn't there, Brigadier? Some kind of secret weapon.
BRIGADIER: Ah, yes. Very serious business.
SARAH: And, I mean, you are still UNIT's scientific adviser. Remember? Well, you can't go rushing off and leave them in the lurch.
DOCTOR: Can't I? Goodbye. (The door closes again.)
HARRY: Er, excuse me, sir.
BRIGADIER: What?
HARRY: Could you oblige?
BRIGADIER: Oh, yes. (He heads over to untie Harry's feet.)
HARRY: Thank you.
DOCTOR: (at the TARDIS door again) Excuse me.
BRIGADIER: What?
DOCTOR: Haven't we met somewhere before? No, don't tell me. Alexander the Great? No. Hannibal? No. Ah. Brigadier. Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. How are you? (He shakes the BRIGADIER's hand.)
BRIGADIER: Very well, thank you.
DOCTOR: And Sarah Jane. Well now, isn't this nice? What was that you said about a secret weapon?

[INT. Stores]

(The metal claws rip through an electrified fence, as we watch through the eyes. The guard looks up from his newspaper and bars the door of the stores. He heads for the telephone as the doors begin to buckle. The metal claws attack him and rip the telephone set from the wall. The claw picks through the racks and cubbies of parts along the wall, scanning for items in line with the beeps we hear.)

[INT. UNIT laboratory]

(HARRY is checking his stethoscope for faults, listening to the left and right side of his chest. The BRIGADIER enters.)
BRIGADIER: Doctor, there's been another-. Where is he?
HARRY: In there. (He gestures to the police box.)
BRIGADIER: He promised he'd-
DOCTOR: Ah, Brigadier.
BRIGADIER: Ah, Doctor, we must get moving.
(The DOCTOR exits the TARDIS, kitted out as a Viking stereotype.)
DOCTOR: Is something wrong?
BRIGADIER: You've changed.
DOCTOR: Oh, no, not again.
BRIGADIER: No, I didn't mean your face, I meant your clothes.
DOCTOR: Don't you like them?
BRIGADIER: UNIT is supposed to be a security organisation.
DOCTOR: Do you think I might attract attention?
BRIGADIER: It's just possible.
DOCTOR: (gesturing with his sword) One moment.
(The DOCTOR re-enters the TARDIS. Within seconds, he steps out as a King of Hearts.)
DOCTOR: No? No.
(He emerges as a Pierrot this time. And returns to the TARDIS dejectedly.)
DOCTOR: Well, how about this?
(He now wears a very long stripey scarf, shirt and waistcoat under a long coat, and floppy hat.)
BRIGADIER: Much better, Doctor. Now, if you've quite finished with your wardrobe?
DOCTOR: I'll try again if you like.
BRIGADIER: No, let's settle for that, please. Now, Doctor-
DOCTOR: Time we were off.
BRIGADIER: Off?
DOCTOR: To visit the scene of the crime.
BRIGADIER: The thing is there's been another robbery.
DOCTOR: Tell me on the way, Brigadier. Tell me on the way. You must cultivate a sense of urgency.

[EXT. At the electrified fence]

(HARRY examines where the fence has been torn through. The DOCTOR squats on the ground, examining it.)
BRIGADIER: Millions of volts running through the wretched thing, and for all the good it was, it might just-. Doctor? Doctor, will you please pay attention?
DOCTOR: Oh, but I am, I assure you. Look.
(The DOCTOR's palm contains the head of a dandelion.)
BRIGADIER: Doctor, I have every respect for your concern for ecology, but really, one squashed dandelion-.
DOCTOR: Not just squashed, flattened. Almost pulverised. (He blows its yellow dust into the other man's face.)
DOCTOR: Now, how did it get like that?
HARRY: Well, I suppose it was stepped on.
DOCTOR: Exactly. And, according to my estimation of the resistance to pressure of vegetable fibre, it was stepped on by something that weighed a quarter of a ton.

[INT. Stores]

BRIGADIER: Funny thing is they left a lot of valuable and top-secret stuff behind. Here's a list of all they actually took. (He hands the Doctor a clipboard.)
DOCTOR: Hmm. Just what you'd need for the control circuitry of one powerful, compact technological device. A disintegrator gun, for instance?
BRIGADIER: What do you know about that?
(The DOCTOR taps his nose and grins.)

[INT. Outside Think Tank]

(The GUARD at the gate stops a car.)
GUARD: Yes, Miss?
(Further along, at the building itself, a balding man in a suit approaches the door and stops to talk with the professionally dressed woman who is exiting.)
JELLICOE: (addressing her) That journalist girl is arriving, the one with the UNIT pass. Something of a nuisance at the present moment in time.
WINTERS: We shall treat Miss Smith exactly as any other visitor.
JELLICOE: I suppose so. I suppose so.
(The two walk together. Approaching from the other direction, from where she has parked, SARAH shakes the man's hand.)
SARAH: Hello. You know, it's awfully good of you to allow this visit, Director.
WINTERS: I hadn't expected male chauvinist attitudes from you, Miss Smith.
SARAH: I'm sorry?
WINTERS: I'm the director. Hilda Winters. (they shake hands) This is Arnold Jellicoe, my assistant.
SARAH: (smiling weakly) Oh.

[INT. At the electric fence]

(The DOCTOR gets in the back of a Land Rover, slouches down, and puts his feet up.)
BRIGADIER: So, what are we looking for?
DOCTOR: Something that brushes aside chains and electric fences like cobwebs. Something intelligent that takes only what it needs and leaves the rest. Something that kills a man as casually as it crushes a dandelion.
BRIGADIER: And what sort of something? Is it human?
DOCTOR: I doubt it, Brigadier. More than human, perhaps.
BRIGADIER: Well, whatever it is, how do we find it?
DOCTOR: By locking the next stable door in good time.
BRIGADIER: Huh?
DOCTOR: It, whatever it may be, has stolen the plans for the new disintegrator gun. It has also in its possession the necessary control circuitry.
HARRY: You think it wants to build the gun?
DOCTOR: Why else steal the plans and the circuitry? Now, assuming I'm right, and I invariably am, what is the third vital ingredient?
BRIGADIER: The focusing generator.
DOCTOR: Exactly, Brigadier. Exactly.
BRIGADIER: (opens the Land Rover door and gets on the radio) Greyhound Leader to Trap One. Over.
BENTON [OC]: Trap One. We read you, Greyhound Leader. Over.
BRIGADIER: Mister Benton, red priority. Emmett's Electronics, a smallish factory in Essex. I want blanket security. Every available man. Air cover as well. I'll meet you there in, in one hour. By then, I want that place better guarded than Fort Knox. Out.
(They leave in the Land Rover. The DOCTOR drives, and now HARRY is in the back.)

[EXT. Outside Think Tank]

(SARAH, JELLICOE, and WINTERS walk down a garden, along a wall.)
JELLICOE: As you've seen, we do most of what's called frontiers of science research here.
WINTERS: As soon as our work reaches a practical stage, it's handed over to someone. Someone with more resources and a bigger budget.
JELLICOE: Usually the government.
SARAH: Well, like the new disintegrator gun? You pioneered the research on that, didn't you?
WINTERS: Well, yes. I'm not sure you should know about that.
SARAH: Oops. Sorry. Talking out of turn. (clears her throat) What's in here?
(She enters a door that clearly is marked 'POSITIVELY NO ADMITTANCE'. They quickly follow her in.)

[INT. Robotics Section]

(A corridor leads her to an empty room containing only a bare table.)
JELLICOE: There's nothing here. Nothing at all.
WINTERS: As you can see, it's empty.
SARAH: (reading the sign on the door) J.P. Kettlewell, Robotics Section. He left some time ago, didn't he? That's right, there was all that fuss about it in the press.
WINTERS: Yes, indeed there was. As you probably heard, he turned against conventional science altogether.
JELLICOE: He spends his time on alternative technology, whatever that may mean.
SARAH: What's through there?
JELLICOE: (hastily) His storeroom. Professor Kettlewell left some valuable equipment. We're keeping it until he deigns to come collect it.
SARAH: Oh, I see. Ooh, funny musty sort of sm-
(She slips and almost falls backward. JELLICOE grabs her arm.)
SARAH: Oh!
WINTERS: Are you all right?
SARAH: Just about. Thank you.
WINTERS: (standing by the outer door) Well, let's be on our way, Miss Smith. There's still quite a lot to see, you know.
SARAH: Oh, yes, of course. Thank you.

[INT. Emmett's Electronics]

(There is a machine-gun emplacement above the factory's sign, and soldiers swarm into position on every side.)
BRIGADIER [OC]: I tell you, Doctor, I've got the whole place covered.
BENTON: (in the background) Come along, come along! Get that wire across. Move!
BRIGADIER [OC]: Armed patrols have every inch of the perimeter under observation. Helicopter patrols overhead. Inside that factory is a vault. Not a safe, Doctor, a vault. There's a sentry outside it. Inside the vault there's a casket. A metal casket containing every focusing generator in the place. Believe me, Doctor, the place is impregnable.
DOCTOR: Never cared much for the word 'impregnable'. Sounds a bit too much like 'unsinkable'.
HARRY: What's wrong with 'unsinkable'?
DOCTOR: Nothing, as the iceberg said to the Titanic.
HARRY: What?
DOCTOR: Glug, glug, glug. (He does an imitation of sinking in the Land Rover.)
BENTON: All patrols posted, sir.
BRIGADIER: Everything secure?
BENTON: Yes, sir. The lads are so close together they're standing on each other's feet.
BRIGADIER: Good. See, Doctor? Not even a rat could get through that cordon. Protected from every side and from above.
DOCTOR: (sitting with his feet up again) That still leaves one direction. (He slowly points downward.)
(We cut to a drill bit rising through the vault floor. A guard above the entrance to the bunker heads down, opening the door to check on the origin of the noise. He fires his machine gun at whatever is within. The noise attracts the BRIGADIER, BENTON, HARRY, and the DOCTOR, who run onto the scene.)

[INT. Vault]

(The party find a hole in the vault floor. The casket is empty, and the guard is dead. HARRY runs to him and checks his pulse.)
DOCTOR: There seems to be a very large rat about, Brigadier.
BRIGADIER: Rat?
DOCTOR: Perhaps you should employ the services of a very large cat.

[INT. Kettlewell's house]

(A bearded man with spectacles speaks, as he starts bustling about in a large, open work room.)
KETTLEWELL: I'm afraid I can't help you, Miss Smith. I don't know why you came to me.
SARAH: Well, I'm not too sure myself, to be honest. I just felt something in the atmosphere at Think Tank.
KETTLEWELL: Yes, I severed all connection with that establishment some time ago, when I became completely disillusioned at the direction all our research was taking. The road to ruination. I'm now devoting my life to alternative energy technologies.
SARAH: Solar cells, heat from windmills, that sort of thing?
KETTLEWELL: Yes, as you say, that sort of thing. It's a rich and complex field, and I have a great deal of work to do. (They have nearly collided with each other again as he carries on with some sort of work.)
SARAH: Oh, I beg your pardon. Well, I just wondered if they might be carrying on your work in robotics?
KETTLEWELL: No-one is carrying on my work in robotics, Miss Smith, because no-one has the ability to do so. Good day.
SARAH: Goodbye.
(As she leaves, she notices rope lying on the floor. She starts to head toward it.)
KETTLEWELL: Good day, Miss Smith.
SARAH: Just going. Thank you.
(SARAH walks out, the other way. KETTLEWELL checks his pockets frantically, finds a sandwich in a stack of papers, takes a bite, and peers through his window blinds as SARAH gets into her car. She removes her Think Tank pass from her handbag and considers it for a moment, then, mind made up, puts it back in the bag on the seat beside her and drives off.)

[EXT. Woodland]

(The party of four approach a steaming hole near a wood.)
BENTON: We think this is the other end of it, sir, only...
BRIGADIER: Only? Only what?
BENTON: Only it's not a proper tunnel. I mean, no props or anything. Just the earth been shoved aside. Whoever went through it wouldn't be able to breathe.
DOCTOR: Whoever went through it didn't need to breathe.
BENTON: And, uh, then there were these, sir.
(He points to deep depressions in the ground, a bit boxy in shape. The DOCTOR places his foot well within one of them.)

[EXT. Outside Think Tank]

SARAH: (to GUARD) I've, er, I've left my notebook in one of the empty labs. I know exactly where it is. I can see myself putting it down. So, if you could just let me pop in and get it, I needn't let your director know what an idiot I've been. Oh, please. Look, my pass is still valid for another ten minutes yet.
GUARD: Wait here, Miss. I'll check for you.
SARAH: Great.
(He goes into the guard hut and picks up the telephone. SARAH climbs over a balustrade, runs past a building across the grass, and comes to the door to the Robotics Section.)

[INT. Robotics Section]

(She checks the ground where she earlier slipped, touches it, and smells her fingers.)
SARAH: It was oil. I knew it.
(We hear a whirring/roaring noise. There is a large silver robot in the room, with stylised face contours and large red eye shapes in the dome-shaped casing of the top of its head.)
ROBOT: (in a buzzy voice) Who are you? Why are you here?
(SARAH scrambles to her feet, then backs away. The robot looks at her with its glass-tile eyes.)

The above notes, transcription, etc. by Anna Shefl

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