Perhaps you have dismissed other distributed computing tasks as unworthy of your processor power. Suppose you're silly enough to believe in space aliens or large Mersenne primes. What can you do with these after hanging them on the wall and throwing a few darts into their eye sockets?
Why are we any different?
After all this, you could still hang the pizza on your wall and throw a few darts.
You don't need to feel left out because you don't have a relic such as the Saviour of the World's foreskin or any of His holy hair follicles.
Here at Jesuspizza, we appeal to the little guy. That ought to get your little work ethic working overtime.
We have heard rumours that the chosen pizza may not contain meat. You could ceaselessly remind people of this, especially if they have just foolishly mentioned that Jesus did eat fish.
We have heard rumours that the chosen pizza may contain a blend of fine herbs.
Get the world back to the original Gospel spirit. Your pizza might provide viable genetic material for cloning. The groundwork for this project is already being done by the Clonejesus folks, and we will merely steal their ideas once the pizza is found. Jesus: he's not just your own personal Saviour anymore.
Islamic fundamentalist extremists
For each person you can involve in the Jesuspizza project, that will be one more killing you can do in the name of Allah (this includes yourself), so download today.
The now-defunct page at http://members.aol.com/TorahYid/index.html tells us of the many ways in which pizza can help us view the life and suffering of Jesus. I quote from it here:
"Can we see Jesus in pizza?
The pizza is made of 3 parts: Dough, Sauce, Cheese.
The pizza is 'beaten.' This alludes to Jesus' being ridiculed
The pizza is cut. This represents Jesus' being pierced.
Pizza is oily. Jesus was anointed with oil.
Pizza is relatively cheap. Jesus abhorred wealth, telling the wealthy to give their possessions to the poor.
Pizza is popular; Jesus had/has a large following.
The sauce also represents the blood of Jesus.
Pizza is eaten; Jesus is eaten (communion)
Pizza saves from pain (hunger). Jesus saves from pain (hell)."
Once the one true Jesus pizza is found, who knows all the ways in which people will be inspired to come together. To take one example (found online) of the kind of freedom that might be brought about by the coming of the Jesus pizza:
"The kids just weren't getting into it. We tried getting them to be more passionate about eating their Lord and Savior, but for some reason, when it came time to partake of the Sacred Host, they just weren't 'down.' So we figured, what the heck...let's throw some cheese and tomato sauce on there to liven things up for these youngsters!"
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