[IMG: little pizza image] Jesuspizza's

Frequently Asked Questions

Getting started

  1. - Q. What do I need to participate?
    1. If you're reading this online, you're probably already equipped. For more information, proceed from the Download page.

  2. - Q. Do I need to know anything about pizzas or theology?
    1. You don't even need to worry about how many Jesuses will fit on a family-sized pizza. We take care of all that for you.

  3. - Q. How long will it take to download the program?
    1. That depends on how shitty your bandwidth is. It shouldn't take very long at all.

  4. - Q. I pay by the hour for Internet connection. How much connect time will the image collection take?
    1. No real difference should be noticeable. The images are compressed using a special new seekrit technology.

  5. - Q. What about security?
    1. You should be safe as long as you:
      • Use only software obtained from our download page
      • Turn off Java and other such nonsense in your browser settings
      • Don't use Windows, especially when connected to other computers. All right, all right, we know what you meant. No, the software won't compromise any security you may happen to have. It won't even install any remote administration tools to enhance your web experience.

  6. - Q. How complex is the software?
    1. It is a masterwork of coding genius. But the end user sees very little of this, except for noting the simplicity and elegance of the user interface.

Running it

  1. - Q. Why do some pizzas take very little time to analyse?
    1. The software analyses overall randomness of pizza toppings first. Very random pizzas which contain no faces or runes or roses can be dealt with quite quickly. Less random pizzas need to undergo further analysis.

  2. - Q. Will I get credit if I find the Jesus pizza?
    1. Sure.

  3. - Q. How can I get it to run faster?
    1. Stop playing Solitaire. Change the priorities of other tasks performed by the computer. Upgrade your processor.

The project

  1. - Q. How long will it run?
    1. We know our task is not in vain. Though we may wait a thousand years, our version history be tedious and incomprehensible, and the four horsemen of the apocalypse start drumming their fingernails in impatience, we will persevere.

  2. - Q. How does the computing power of believers compare with that of existing supercomputers?
    1. We'll just have to see.

  3. - Q. When and where was the 'Eureka!' point when somebody exclaimed 'Hey, we can do this sort of analysis on people's home computers'?
    1. It arose when we heard of other distributed computing projects and became insanely jealous. We decided that we should review the then-current practice of comparing illuminated manuscripts containing pictures of candidate pizzas entwined with dog-headed angels. Now the abbott's pizzas won't get quite so cold.

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