What do we expect to find?
Our work so far
We have searched [Count] pizzas since the inception of
the project in September 2000. Although the canonical Jesus Pizza has not
yet been found, there have been some near misses which deserve mention as
inspiration to all true seekers. Please contact us at
email@example.com(reverse the letters in the
bit before the 'org' first, though) if you find a pizza that you think belongs on
Left: Shiva's offspring Ganesha, traditionally represented as a
potbellied man with an elephant's head. In his left hand are flowers, in
his right hand is a ceremonial stylised axe, in his third hand is the
broken piece of his tusk, and in his fourth hand is a bowl of mangoes.
Right: Allah pizza, found by Weird Al-Pacino of Chicago. There may well
be a pizza for each name of Allah.
For historical interest, we should also point out the pizza that gave our
project its final impetus.
Without this urge to come together in search
of universal peace, we might never have begun our holy crusade. Our thanks
go to the discoverer of this pizza and to all those who supported us in
the early stages, before our project gained the publicity it so richly
Also pictured is a more secular pizza which gave us added
inspiration. There must be a fine line indeed between religious and
political revolutionary pizzas.
Left: 'Om' pizza. Remember that the jewel is in the lotus, folks.
Right: A saviour of a different flavour, Che Guevara, found by
Anonymous Coward. This pie conjures up a familiar image.
But here is the closest match yet found. It passed the initial
Probable Piety tests but, alas, does not refer to the Saviour of the
World. Rather, it is a depiction
of the cross to the left of His, whereon
a criminal was placed. False messiahs are only one of the many dangers
we at Jesuspizza face on a regular basis. (Note: due
to a bug in the software, this was initially reported as a Southern Cross
Satanic pizza. Although we believe this problem has been rectified,
if you discover a similar off-by-180 error, please report
it to firstname.lastname@example.org - and put 'features'
in the subject line so that your message reaches our features department
(NOTE: you must reverse the letters in the bit before the 'org').
This pizza, featuring the other guy, was found by Roland Pilsbury
of Poughkeepsie, New York. We like to call this 'Pizza Bandito', but it
rather more readily brings to mind some of the less flamboyant though
flavoursome Nordic pizzas.
We have also heard reports of Virgin Mary sightings in pizzas, but nobody
could verify the children's reports. We suspect blue mould.
Our hopes for the future
For comparison's sake, here is an artist's rendition of what we expect the
one true Jesus Pizza to look like:
Left: our staff artist's conception of the Canonical pizza, top view.
As you can see, this is a rough sketch only, and the real Jesus Pizza may
differ from this in one or more important respects. Most depictions of
Jesus feature a halo around his head. What halo holier than a crisp,
Right: Canonical pizza, bottom view. This rendition is, again,
obviously only our artist's conception. Other than carrying the
stigmata--the mark of Christ's suffering--who knows what other wonders
we may behold in the real thing?
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All these pages ©2000-2002 Anna