Rude or tasteless anagrams

Please leave now if you'll be offended by these. As with the spam anagrams, I'll try to put the most tame at the top of the page, in general, but tastes differ. Note: I don't like the subject matter of some of these either or agree with the sentiment, and some are quite tasteless. You have been warned.

Anagrams that are new since the last update will have a "NEW:" in front of them (new 'grams are not necessarily at the top).


United States Marine Corps
= Earn smut/erotica stipends.


No-clothes duty in ~ the nudist colony.


Striptease = Trite. Passe.


A wet dream ~ made ...water?


Morning wood = In wrong mood?


 NEW:

Multiple orgasms
= Moist gems, plural.
= Girls, um, top males.
= Guilt? More psalms!
= "Girl mauls me - stop!"


Foot fetish = Shoe oft fit.


The cure for impotence = Perfect outcome in her.


Topless bars = Bra-loss step
(Or "bra-less stop")


Colon therapy session = Hose loosens tiny crap.


Succumbing to temptation = Tobacco, smut, gun, pint, ... time!


Erotic massage = Orgasmic tease.


(A summary of perpetuation of the species)
Human reproduction = Cum, parenthood, ruin.


Escort service,
or secret vices


Exotic dancers ~ can excite rods.
Exotic dancers ~ do sex act nicer.


Make-out session = Misuse seat/nook.


(Someone asked this quick question)
"Do anagram-hunters have a sex-life ???"
= Loving fans - a harem - are exhausted!


Breast augmentation = One mutates. Giant bra!


Happy Valentine's Day = Display panty heaven!


 NEW:

From behind = Bend for him!


"I don't use prophylactic devices!"
= Er, invite child-custody case, Pop.


Freshman promiscuity = Infamous! Sperm cry "Hit!"


Chemical castration = Technical aim: scrota


A soiled diaper = Idea's "ripe load".

(Now that the smell is in mind, here's the vista to accompany it)
Soiled diapers = Roadside piles.


Her naughtiest pose = See-through panties


 NEW:

(A tweak to an old joke)
Intervention to help a pound of fat look pretty:
Put a nipple on the very front end of it to look at!


Gender reassignment surgery
= Seem angry? Regret undressing?


Love will always find a way
= We say: "Downfall via a willy."


"Want to come up and see my etchings?"
I need pussy magnet to catch women.


Emission of wind from the anus
= Information: he disowns fumes.

Two date, sigh ~ "It was the dog".


Text message! = Get mates/sex!


Large penis = Pleasing 'er.


French ticklers = Trench-flickers


Decolletage --
College date!
Glee located...


Unable to find a perfect girlfriend ~ cued preferring to find inflatable.


The world's oldest profession
= Psst - need short ride? Follow!


 NEW:

Rest in peace != a penis, erect


Webster's Dictionary = Yes, nice words: "bra", "tit", ...


The Flemish painter Sir Peter Paul Rubens
NB: 'Neath the ripe fruits lies plumper arse.


Wet dreams = Dew stream.


Sporting an erection
= Gent's in. Procreation.
= Is pregnant erotic? No.
= Organic protein sent.


It's Mister Floppy = Tipsy? Softer, limp.


Getting a divorce = Tag groin "Evicted"


An obstructed bowel = Doc's elbow near butt


Ladies' restroom = Sodomiser alert!
Gentlemen's restroom = Meet longer monsters.


Giant wastrel = Genital warts


"Sit and swivel!" ~ widens vitals.


Removing one's underwear
= Men ensure organ (rod) view.
= Urine? Sworn end: "Game over!"


(Since it's metaphorical, this might not belong in the "Rude" section, but there's not really a better one for it)
All's wankers in suits, stroking bishops, ~ at business skills training workshops.


Buying Viagra online = Big an' young an' virile.


"Public displays of affection not allowed"
= "Will accept payoff if lesbian duo's not old."


Sixty-nine = Sexy, innit?


The Bristol Stool Scale = Label or test shits... Cool!


The little man in a pink canoe = A clit. Inane? Thank "polite" men.


Rocky mountain oysters = Isn't scrotum okay on rye?


Entry-level position:
Let penis/toy in, lover!


Breast augmentation = One giant "Masturbate!"


Hot pussy! = Top hussy!


Spunk lingers?
Sink plungers!


Up loins, red stream = Menstrual periods


The Testicle Cookbook - Cooking With Balls, by Ljubomir Erovic
= Look out, boys! Objective: boil big knackers. Limit: whole crotch!


What to buy your sweetheart on Valentine's Day...
Now why not a venereal disease? A hurty butt-toy?


To masturbate in public:
Pubic bits: natural to me!
And
Is "Rub at Clit" on Tube map?


In first-time sex, ~ it's misfire. Next!

First-time sex
= Sixteen? It's firm.
= Misfit exerts.
= Miss. Exit. Fret.


Using penis enlargement techniques, ~ men gasp, get nine-inch equine results!


(A film and a book and a meme)
Fifty Shades of Grey
= Fey orgy/fetish fads.
= Orgy. Fifth "Yes!" fades.


Having unprotected intercourse
= Voice: "Can't I return the nude sprog?"


Sexual predator ~ rapes a lot. Durex?


Lady of negotiable virtue
= Of ideal beauty? Revolting?
= Adultery: inevitable goof?


An erect penis = Escape, intern!


Homosexual partners = To explore harms anus.


At the wet t-shirt contest... =
That's two erect tits then.


(From the BDSM magazine rack)
More Than Vanilla
= Violent anal harm!


Assert when she lies spread-eagle on the bed:
She desires leather bondage. He wants sleep.


Chastity belts = They stab clits.


If it ends up being that kind of strip:
The Las Vegas Strip = Her vast slit gapes!


Please refrain from obscene four-letter words.
= One reformer roars: "Be polite, lewd arse, FFS! Cunt!"


(In honour of George Carlin's 1972 arrest for his sketch about a certain seven words that one wasn't allowed to say on the public airwaves)
Huff "I spurn them - cocksucker, tits, ~ shit, piss, fuck, cunt, motherfucker".


(Yes, these are real newsgroups
alt.sex.bondage = Latex and "So beg!"
alt.sex.fetish.robots = Fit extra bolts/hoses!
alt.sex.masturbation = Exorbitant smut, alas. = Buxom starlet, a stain.


Dangly bits = Bad styling!


Giant breasts = Tits bang ears!


Set of melons = Lots of semen!


(For the guys)
Pleasuring oneself = One's eager fun spill.

(For the ladies)
Pleasuring oneself = Open. Use all fingers.


Yoni (Sanskrit), meaning "vulva" = Men kiss vagina. Involuntary?


"But, Doctor, what is a penis 'enhancement' surgery?"
"His tadger's to be put on a nicer man (they unscrew)."


Passing gas = Gasping ass.


The newspaper subscription
= Nice... no, superb: wraps pet shit.
= Air's scent: pup pee, brown shit.


Good manners: = End on orgasm.


Dark? No light comes down? = Glow-in-the-dark condoms!

Glow-in-the-dark condoms
= Women hold a strong dick.
= One old man's dick growth.

Wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom
= Naked, downright cool wang aimer.


The large penises
= Sting here, please!
= Sigh "please enter"!
= See gris elephant!


They're saggy old tits = Rate this "doggy style"!


"I do not like wearing condoms" = AIDS network login. Do come in.
"I don't like wearing condoms" = Wood, interlocking men, AIDS.


The act of cunnilingus
= Can filth ruin tongues?
= Nice until "Ugh! No farts!"


To perform fellatio:
Female trip to floor


Prehensile tail = Real lithe penis.


Binge and purge = Dine, burp an egg.


"Say it with flowers."
Rose. Why: swift tail.

The florist's ~ ...for the slits.

The florist = Fist her slot!


Silicone breast implants
= All nice tits impress a nob.
= Compare insane tit bills.


Nathaniel Fried's ultrasound vasectomies
= Such fun alternatives: monasteries, a dildo, ...


Clitoral massage
= Cor! A slit's agleam.
= Clam is great also!


Fishy smell! = Slimy flesh!


Old people's home = Oh, deep poo smell!


(Porn by Kitty Blair)
Kitty Discovers Sperm
= Pervert sods, I'm sticky!
= Most dry peckers visit.
= Movie script: "Try desk..."
= Prick roved. Messy tits.
= Story time: Pervs' dicks...
= Set provides Mr Sticky.
= Cover perky D tits, miss!
= Most dicks' perversity

Kitty Discovers Sperm ~ stirs me. Proves sticky.

A complaint to whom it may concern)
Kitty Discovers Sperm
= Video's pretty sick, Mrs. ...?
= I've sticky dress/top, Mr. ...?


"Due to adult content, viewer discretion is advised"
= Erotica, "Inside Venus", "Tits Uncovered", "Dildoed Twat", ...


The female of the species
= Cleft emits heap o' feeesh!
Or
= Tip: camel toe, feesh. Feesh!


Birth control devices...
=
"Cover rod!"
"Listen, bitch..."


Two-dollar whores ~ swallow hot order.


The Morningwood Labs Manhood Mold
= Mammoth boner? Ah, do long dildos now!


Perform cunnilingus
= Sinful, cum-prone grin.
= Finger in. Slurp on cum.
= No gremlins in fur cup?


Gynaecologists = Soggy acts, no lie!


To have a monthly period = Vile, hot red tampon ahoy!


Want clam... See monthly curse...
= The woman's menstrual cycle.


The large penises
= The sleeping arse.
= A tense sheep/girl.


Anal probes = A pal's boner.


McDonald's "special sauce" = Salad concealed piss & cum.


In a "gender confirmation surgery", ~ I get a mini-fanny - dong error's cure.


In rectal examinations, ~ I insert... an exclamation!

Digital rectal exams = Lads climax, get irate.

Fleet enemas ~ feel meanest.

Anal fissure ~ is real SNAFU.

The anal fissure ~ hastens failure.
The anal fissure = Feel a hurt in ass.


Found in the Kama Sutra:
"The people in the Southern countries have also a congress in the anus, that is called the lower congress".
=
Ah, no-one here would admit such partaking of the non-vaginal chute. Let's lie, then. Cast these aspersions on other cultures' arses!


alt.sex.bestiality = It's "lay & exit stable".
(And, on a related note...)
My stable relationship: ~ I slept by other animals.


(This is an anagram of the first recorded post to alt.anagrams, referring to the group's tendency to lower the tone)

Does anyone know what this is an anagram is?

Square Fire Insect


Thank You!
=

Yawn. The first thread has not one "wank", "squick", or "Asian anime yonis" usage.


A split-beaver shot = Observe - that's a lip.

Split-beaver shot
= Barest hot pelvis!
= Let pro shave bits!

The strap-on's visible ~ in split-beaver shots.


Vaginal secretion
= Eat in girls' caves, no?
= So-revealing antics
= Vacation, rinse legs.
And
Vaginal secretions = Clinton sees Viagra!


Michael Jackson = Jail? Ah, men's cock!


Felt pussy or aureole ~ to pleasure yourself?

Pleasuring oneself = Online & large? 'Fess up!

Play with oneself
= Why pole inflates.
= Filthy! Now asleep.
= Lastly, phone wife.
(The next one's for females)
Play with oneself = Open. Fishy, all wet.


Happy Valentine's Day
= Heavy penis! Pant, lady!
= He lays nappy deviant.
= Shy? In van, peep at lady.
= Hasty? Invade playpen.


An erect penis = Entrap nieces?


(A South African woman gave birth to a baby that had developed in her liver. The child was named "Nhlahla" (Zulu for "luck"). It is quite rare for such babies to survive; Jack Krige, a liver specialist who helped deliver the girl, said: "She is truly a miracle baby." The placenta cannot be removed from the liver so was left there.)

"Luck" and her pregnant mother: a live delivery
= Nhlahla endured mocking: "Ever try liver pate?"


A toothless whore ~ has two other 'oles...

A filthy whore = Hole? Why, a rift!


The singer Natalie Jane Imbruglia
= "Beer. A hug. Internal genitalia. Jism!"


Hone plastic surgery, ~ relocating her pussy!


Richard Gere urban legend = Ugh - gerbil can redden rear!


A McDonald's quarter-pounder with cheese and fries
= "That's so queer a find, dude! Semen, red hair, clown crap..."


Clitoridectomies = Medics' erotic toil.

Clit piercing = Clip it, cringe.


(A porn actress who has hit the news more than once)
Jasmine St. Clair ~ jams articles in.
Jasmine St. Clair = As in "rectal jism".
Jasmine St. Clair = Clear jism stain.


Vibrator tester Debbie Lancaster
= Babe lets reverberation distract.

Vibrator tester Debbie Lancaster, in the Sun
= Bad behavior: insert, belt utterances, insert, ...


Soapy tit wank = Way to spank it!


Inmates on death row
= Morons await the end.
= Wrath and noose time!

Inmates on death row ~ wait months, are done.


Sniper attacks = Parts in casket.


Improper behaviour = I arrive, poop, bum her.


Contract venereal diseases = Even a rectal secretion's sad.


(You might have heard of the Roadkill Cafe. Even if not, you might be able to make a few guesses as to what the menu might contain. The most expensive item on the menu might be the "hired car" elk loaf. Or one could opt for simpler fare: "Heck, tail alfredo!"


Feminine hygiene products
= Tidy up minge for nice sheen!
= Grime deep in one fishy cunt?


List of concentration camps in Germany: Esterwegen, Sachsenburg, Gundelsheim, Dieborg, ...
=
Caring Ubermensch gentlemen heat groggy men 'til outside's crisp and nose/face is brown.


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