Vibrator
Larger than life, sharper than a knife,
Ever ready for the time,
Slick and smooth, I'm bound to improve
your mood and make you feel fine.
Reach for me, I'm ready and how.
I'm really starting to buzz.
Your feeling comes. I'm starting to hum.
I can do it like nothing else does.
You're never alone when I'm around.
You can always rely on me.
I'm a friend, my love won't bend,
And that I can guarantee.
Straight and true and all for you,
I'm so eager to please.
Stick with me and I'll keep you free
From any nasty disease.
'Cos I'm a Vibrator,
Pleased to make a start,
Vibrator, with a powerpack for a heart.
Check my heart before you start.
I don't wanna blow no fuse.
New battery - is that for me?
That's something I could really use.
Power surge - I get the urge
To do my legendary thing.
The stars in your eyes don't tell no lies;
I know your bells are starting to ring.
Wasn't that good? Now wasn't that nice?
Now see, we get along real fine.
I knew I was the boy for you
When you came for the second time.
Clean me up, put me away.
You know you need the rest.
I'll be here when next you need me.
I've never ever failed the test.
I'm a Vibrator,
Pleased to make a start.
I'm a Vibrator,
And I'll never ever break your heart.
A Vibrator
Roses are red.
Violets are dead.
Please crucify the fantasy
Of picket fences in the sky.
No New Age guys
Or Valentines.
...A biting kiss to bathe my face!
I'll grab an untamed tiger.
(I don't mean Dahmer
Or that moron Ballmer.)
Wash that man right outta your earth,
As I know he won't heed your warning.
No safety lines
Or cloying rhymes.
To take off on my way alone,
Once more a diver into the sky...
So make a smiley face.
Draw a heart on each eye -
You sit writing love letters;
I make a bound none can tether.
To maximum revs!
Torn, torn by the waves!
Get every weak man to reverse -
Sampling by nary a Sunday driver!
Whizzing by...
The brakes need to die!
The whine from the road sure hits me
As I veer through rugged terrain.
The by-way to hell
Is looking swell...
Keeping myself up at night,
pointing out those scenic sites.
You wait. I play,
Not fully defiled.
At dawn they will pronounce me drowned
And no body will ever be found.
Pruritus vulvae?
Carpe carne!
Of all trials and tribulations,
Look what I make myself do.
Tell me "Cease!"
"Out, out, damn trout!"?
I loiter more, all wet.
Arouse me, wet weather breeder!
Automater!
Animater!
I need no reefer for a neat mood.
Hear me from a rooftop near you.
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