Computer- and technology-related anagrams

A few of these are slightly geeky, but most should resonate with the typical computer user.

Anagrams that are new since my last update have a 'NEW:' in front of them. Please note that new 'grams are not necessarily at the top.


 NEW:

Open Source software = On to a screw-up-free OS!
Open Source software = One act of power users

Free/libre software = Offer's "Rewriteable!".


Web site theanna.org = Browse the Net again.


Imgur is over capacity! = I'm a tragic 'pics!' voyeur.


Social media = Coma is ideal.


Photoshopped images ~ dot hippos' homepages.


 NEW:

Let hackers pen ~ kernel patches.


Blue screen of death
= The End, so be careful.
= Feeble code ran thus.
= Solace: the beer fund!
= No FreeBSD? A clue...
= Free clue: bad (honest).
= Fortune's 'ache, bleed'.

Blue screens of death
= See crash-befouled NT.
[And a triple-anagram]
Blue screen of death = Hateful snob decrees ~ 'Trash feeble OS, dunce!'


Microsoft Windows Eight =
Ow! God, we confirm it's shit.


I saw Microsoft EULA =
Malicious software!


Apple Stores
= Laptop seers.
= Poser staple.
= Top sales rep.


The Windows operating system =
With DOS, we print Gates's money.


"You're using a web browser that isn't supported by Facebook"
= "This contributes to a busy day of pure work", we brag: "No beeps!"
= Begin a baby step to busy production - waste-free work hours.)


The Internet of Things = Intent's to frighten, eh?


 NEW:

Ransomware = Worm's arena
Ransomware ~ or "Swear, man!"


 NEW:

A lurker on USENET = Our unseen talker


[For the 'I can't use those new-fangled mobile devices' brigade]
Phablets = Stab 'Help'.


I bite each player, but geeks like to try (you can bail). =
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

[For those to whom this is just a bunch of confusing words, I'll offer a couple of URLs and perhaps a 'Young people these days!':
A few brief words on grues, from the Jargon File / (New) Hacker's Dictionary and a bit of a history of their most common habitat]


Buying Apple Macintosh computers =
A crappy single-button mouse, chimp!


An address-harvester = A nerd shares adverts.


[For anyone with something to say, or with nothing to say]
NB: Gobshite welcome to post ~ on the website http://blogspot.com


[A service that many people seem to use]
Windows Update = Wow - a stupid end!
Windows Update ~ did peanuts. Wow.


Some unplanned downtime = Me damned line's not up now!


Simple Mail Transfer Protocol
= 'RCPT TO...' personal memos fill air.
= Proficient trolls or lame spam.


Computer nerds
= Trend: more CPUs!
= 'Crude porn, mate!'


[A 2004 study indicated that 70% of people would willingly trade their computer password for a bar of chocolate.]
Note: a hacker stole my PC password =
Chocolate wrappers sat on my desk.


Security Engineering - The Book, by Ross Anderson =
Story: "Then you begin seeing errors in banks' code."


All lingo's Goatse after ~ Google Translate fails.
Reason I tag argot 'full of eels': Failures of Google Translate

[On a related note]
Bing Translator = Rants - bring a lot!
[And a professional option]
Loads do distrust ~ SDL Trados Studio.


Facebook profiles ~ backfire. Pose, fool!
Facebook profiles = Recap of foibles OK.


Facebook trashy? Orkut bloc gimpy? ~
OK, go try out Myspace, Habbo, Flickr, ...


Facebook profiles ~ backfire. Pose, fool!
Facebook profiles = Recap of foibles OK.


The computer problems ~ obstruct me. Help me, pro!
Computer problems = cumbersome-port.pl
Computer problem = Obscure Elm prompt.


[A program used to recover maliciously cancelled USENET posts etc.]
Dave the Resurrector ~ recovers true thread.


A Twitter service user ~ utters/reviews air, etc.


alt.usenet.kooks = OK to steal nukes!


A Facebook 'friend' request = Keen to acquire bad offers?


[This refers to a live Demonstration of Microsoft voice recognition technology. The left-hand side is text from the demo.]
'Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all.' =
Attendees tell dealer: 'Loser, tell the OS: "Suck a bullet. Die."'


A password sniffer ~ forwards 'safe' PINs.


USENET flame wars = Use straw man. Flee.


Dating sites = AIDS testing!


Add to favorites
= It's a food advert!?
= I voted for Sadat.


Nigerian lad ~ in a grand lie.

Four-nineteen scams ~ assure confinement!
Nigerian scams = Man cries 'Gains!'
[You can almost hear him from the other end of the email.]


public static void main(String[] args)

=
                    _
     Improving IT  |_| 
     BASIC-class   |_|
     Giant turd    |_|


Electronic voting machines =
Cheat government silicon IC.


Malicious software =
A worm suite is focal =
It is foul. A war comes.
[The next one's an anti-gram, really]
Malicious software =
I cause worms to fail.


You are not logged in = A god routinely gone


[The anagrammed text is from the terms of service linked to from the page Verisign threw up when a user accessed an apparently unregistered domain. The anagram comments on this move, which involved adding wildcard records for the .com and .net top-level domains. The wrong-headed 'Sitefinder' scheme was withdrawn quickly after even bigger powers slapped Verisign for messing up the Internet's infrastructure a bit.]

Sole Remedy.
YOUR USE OF THE VERISIGN SERVICES IS AT YOUR OWN RISK. IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED WITH ANY OF THE MATERIALS, RESULTS OR OTHER CONTENTS OF THE VERISIGN SERVICES OR WITH THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS, OUR PRIVACY STATEMENT, OR OTHER POLICIES, YOUR SOLE REMEDY IS TO DISCONTINUE USE OF THE VERISIGN SERVICES OR OUR SITE.

=

Sirs, your rigorous terms of service are so, so good!

If there is the tiniest chance I should make URL entry typos when I visit sites or the domain's nameservers ever cease to function fully, I vow simply to resist ever using DNS - or, easier, 'your' Internet - yes?

Sorry, I can't decide which of those varieties of torture to use...

Idiots.


The Linux operating system =
Total hermits' sexy penguin.


Disillusioned souls ~ use idols: Linus idols.


Hear "Rot! It's flat! Bye!" = A short battery life


[From the footer added to email messages it sends...]
Opera's revolutionary e-mail client =
My poor, li'l ole Atari can never use it.


Stop Online Piracy Act = A Net-cop's policy ran it.


Lousy news server ~ runs very slow, see?


[A news headline]
New E-Mail Worm Targets Hole in Internet Explorer
= Theme: warning on loser/lamer teen exploit writer.
= A wager here: MS experiment, we let Norton roll in it.
= Hell, one Net malware writer's rooting experiment...
[Or, for conspiracy theorists...]
Norton 'heroes' experiment, write malware. Telling.


The Linux operating system
= Run my shit on it, expel Gates.
= Elite haXOrs emptying nuts.
= Gates expulsion? Try hitmen!
= Put extremely, astonishing.
= No sex, sleep, night, maturity... [A few more stereotypes]


Chat room
= Macho rot
= Charm too!

Internet chat rooms
= Men hit on tart, score.
= Morons act thirteen.


Spamming and multi-posting are ~ most unappealing. Damn, it's grim.
Spamming and multi-posting = 'Malignant dumping'ism. Stop.


Virtual reality =
Truly evil Atari


"How to Use Microsoft Excel":
Cue to wish for semtex (cool!)


[Some American ISPs inject a unique identifier into the Web traffic of each of their users, to track their interests, serve tailored adverts, etc. Third parties such as Twitter have worked this out and use these tokens, which the EFF call perma-cookies, for their own purposes.]
Perma-cookies =
"OK, I'm a creep. So?" =
'Spookier!' came.


Microsoft Visual Basic = Basic cost is for Valium!


[Simon Travaglia described his work as a New Zealand system operator as involving 'sheer, mindnumbing boredom'. To deal with his boredom and frustration with his lusers (the 'l' is silent), he penned a series of now-legendary stories about the 'Bastard Operator from Hell' (BOFH), a sysadmin who delights in torturing his lusers. For some system admins the BOFH is a source of wry laughter, but he is a role model for those with no qualms about telling people they can fix a failing floppy disk with nail polish remover, to 'clean that brown stuff off the inside of the disk' or about leaving booby traps for killing a new pointy-haired boss.

The stories are at http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html. The anagrams are here.]

Simon Travaglia
= Aim - vital organs!
= Salvo-aiming art
= Voila - grim Satan!
= A grim salvation
= A rival git moans.


[An anagram for your 404 page]
Not found =
No dot-fun


[Another triple-anagram]
A 'remove list':... real motive's... to serve mail.

'Remove list' = Overt slime!


[For a bit of the bizarre...]
Debian GNU/Linux is ~ Bin Laden's UNIX GUI.


[If you have been on USENET for any length of time, you'll have heard of the Usenet Central Administration - the authority to which posters are asked to appeal when other posters or the entire newsgroup won't admit to being wrong, wrong, wrong and deserving of punishment. I'm not sure that as many are aware of the group's full name, which I have decided to anagram here.]
...
Usenet Central Administration Bureau and Advocacy League
= Naive argue 'But I need an email/URL, a contact address, a county...'
= A cute idea but... A contact address / a URL in Guyana? No email? ...Never!


[If you haven't been on USENET very long, you might be the guy who posted the bit I anagram here.]
usenet is dead meat!!!! only old folks still check it out!!! =
The ostentatious model liked today sells: "Click! "Fun!" =
Online life's mutated to schlock. 'Kid style' used a lot. =
I don't like today's "So fuck the intellectuals!" models. =
Defile old layouts, mutate to LinkedIn set's schlock.


Anonymous remailer = Use 'Marilyn A. Monroe'.


Try the real ancient ~ Internet relay chat.

Internet relay chat: = Therein art latency.


[This has been known to be the entire content for some messages]
[-- text/html, encoding 7bit, 10 lines --]
= Nonexistent. Bet: mild glitch.


USENET archive
= Teach universe.
~ cures the naive.
= Richest avenue.
= Chat is revenue! [Banner ads?]
= Achieve unrest! [Find an enemy's previous words, to perfect that flame]


Nokia: Connecting people = One ponce lining a pocket.


Abort, retry, ignore?
= Error - bitter agony!
= Angrier? Try reboot.

[But enough of these old-fashioned DOS errors. Bring on 'new and improved' Microsoft offerings such as these.]
Microsoft Outlook Express = For some, root exploits suck.

Microsoft Exchange = Go fetch an exorcism!


[And here are some 'grams related to Linux init-system debates, one behemoth in particular.]
Lennart Poettering's systemd =
A trendy pet monster glistens.
[Given how hard systemd makes it to tell what's going on with one's system and that Poettering works for a company with fairly strong ties to the NSA...]
Lennart Poettering's systemd =
Gent's pride: NSA-style torment
[Finally, referring to some of the politics, here is a rather unlikely quote.]
"Lennart Poettering's systemd ~ tempts lots. Try!" - Greenend's Ian


Visit the semi-long anagrams page for, among other things, an anagram in honour of the Google Groups interface and the frustration it so often creates among those who do try to use it sensibly, among others. The page also features an anagram created from Google Trends results. In addition, there are some anagrams related to things like error messages, viruses, and Second Life in the 'longer' pages I link to from the main Lardbucket page.

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