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September 2023

25 September 2023

W[IMG: needles]hen a two-year-old boy in in rural Tarapoto, Peru, began suffering abdominal distress, x-rays revealed that he'd swallowed eight sharp pieces of metal, which had become lodged everywhere from within the abdominal wall to beside his rectum. Surgeon Efrain Salazar reported that the operation to retrieve them - and close a few extra holes - revealed the objects to be medical needles, used to vaccinate farm animals where his mother works. After the successful surgery, she mused that 'maybe he swallowed them when he was there playing'.

Canada's Amira and Nadya Gill are 25-year-old sisters who earned fame for selling face masks designed by indigenous artists after completing a university education largely funded by Inuit organisations. What they are not is Inuit, according to the Inuk woman they had cited as their birth mother. The Gills and their actual mother, 59-year-old Karima Manji, face two counts of fraud each for swindling two local organisations and three national ones out of scholarships and other benefits between 2016 and 2022.
One of the former plans to begin requiring applicants to provide a copy of their long-form birth certificate, and the Royal Bank of Canada, among the latter, has decided that 'self-identifying as indigenous' is no longer sufficient.

Not long after the Norfolk, Nebraska, emergency services received reports of an illegal bull ride within city limits, police officers spotted the relevant animal - the Watusi bull Howdy Doody, a passenger in Lee Meyer's specially modified Ford Crown Victoria. According to Police Captain Chad Reiman, it wasn't clear why Meyer had eschewed his usual trailer in favour of the car he normally reserves for parades, a roofless, cattle-gate-equipped variant. Nonetheless, Reiman let him off with a warning, simply ordering him to drive back home.

Let's return to the operating room for a moment. This one was in New Zealand, where surgeons identified the cause of a woman's 18-month postpartum battle with severe abdominal pain: the 11 Auckland medics performing her Caesarean section had left behind a soft-plastic wound retractor 'the size of a dinner plate'.
Taking issue with district health authorities' claims that the system had not failed, national Health and Disability Commissioner Morag McDowell said: 'It is self-evident that the care provided fell below the appropriate standard', stressing that the staff had no explanation. After its staff left a swab inside a woman in 2018, the hospital responsible instituted a 'count policy'. So perhaps they merely have poor subtraction skills: they had swapped out a smaller retractor for a larger one (half of which normally remains outside the patient but removed only one in total.

Israel's cops have arrested visiting New York rabbi Yosef Mordechai Paryzer for establishing concurrent sexual relationships with multiple women by posing online with fake names and background details (claims that he trains guide dogs for the blind etc.). Mid-row, the married Paryzer, 35, told one woman the real names of two fellow conquests. Comparing notes led to criminal complaints of 'rape by deception', and at least 30 women have now been identified as fraud victims.
Paryzer's attorney argues that 'dating apps are full of lies, every adult knows this, so anyone claiming these were serious relationships lacks logic and common sense'.

'Do as I say, not as I do' might be a suitable motto for Utah mother Ruby Franke's 2.5-million-subscriber parenting-advice YouTube channel 8 Passengers... if she continues it in the wake of her son's escape.
Despite duct tape and severe malnourishment, the 12-year-old climbed out a window of Franke's home and begged a neighbour for help. Not much later, he was joined in hospital by his emaciated 10-year-old sister, newly freed from the home of Franke's business partner, Jodi Nan Hildebrandt. Both women have been arrested, and two further children have been taken into care or placed with alternative family members.
Franke's adult daughter, Shari, responded: 'We've been trying to tell the police and CPS for years about this, and so glad they finally decided to step up.' Alongside Franke's strict parenting advice, Hildebrandt's pronouncements had been on the radar for a while: she nearly lost her licence to be a 'pornography-addiction therapist' after unauthorised public comments about a patient.

A 27-year-old British Columbia man 'offended on behalf of the military' rang Canada's Trail and Greater District RCMP to report a civilian for wearing camouflage trousers in public. The caller requested that officers find the man downtown and remove his trousers. According to Sergeant Mike Wicentowich, the complainant was informed that forced trouser-removal would be illegal assault. While officers kept their eyes open for the subject of the complaint, the camouflage meant that they 'unsurprising[ly] couldn't find him'.

Finding several under-twos at her New York City nursery ill, Grei Mendez rang her husband, then 911. Shortly after he had lugged away a few bulging carrier bags, medical personnel began treating some of her charges for an inhalation-based fentanyl overdose. This was too late for Nicholas Dominici, who had been at Divino Niño only a week.
Officers found a kilo of fentanyl under mats in the nap room, along with three presses allegedly used for packaging drugs, whereupon cops arrested Mendez and her tenant, a cousin of her now-missing husband. While Mendez's 'only crime', according to her lawyer, 'was renting her room to someone who had a kilo', Manhattan US Attorney Damien Williams alleges that the two 'poisoned four babies, and killed one of them, because they were running a drug operation from a daycare centre'.
City Health Commissioner Ashwin Vasan commented on a snap inspection made 10 days prior: 'I'm very sorry, but one of the things that my child-care inspectors are not trained to do is look for fentanyl.'

A 15-year-old student in Manchester had been advised to show up early for her GCSE English exam, but the gates of Whalley Range High School were locked when her father, delivery driver Hussein Alinzi, arrived to drop her off. The 59-year-old father of seven concluded that she'd planned to meet with a boy. She was even wearing make-up. So he began beating her with the metal bar he kept under his seat for protection.
After regaining consciousness, she entered the exam hall, but the dizzy teen ultimately was ushered out and admitted to A&E, where medics found evidence of past beatings and bitings. These turned out to be why she'd been wearing cosmetics, on her mother's advice.
Manchester Crown Court handed Alinzi suspended prison time, 80 hours of unpaid work, and 25 'rehabilitation activity days' after the girl stressed that, notwithstanding his death threats etc., she loves him, regretted shaming her family, and has a brother who needs a father.

Our final item comes from Britain's Chapel St Leonard's, where police sirens were set to wailing after dog-walkers bound for the North Sea Observatory spotted the results of a ritual mass murder in a community space. The Seascape Cafe later reassured members of the public that 'someone [...] having seen several people laying on the floor [...] reported a mass killing in our building. Which actually turned out to be the yoga class in meditation'. This came as news to yoga teacher Millie Laws - by the time the cops descended on the scene, the group had dispersed.

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