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September-October 2016

27 October 2016

An administrative court in Bavaria has banned 23-year-old German porn star 'Natalie Hot' from moaning in her home in the small town of Ampfing. The ban comes after neighbours complained that her 'brothel which is hidden behind webcam activities' was disturbing the peace (it seems that her neighbours weren't mollified by her offer of holding a swingers' party for them).
Responding to her question 'everyone in the street can work from home, but it is forbidden for me to do so?', the court answered 'yes', in part because she was running a 'full business' from a residential property. She is shooting her material elsewhere for the moment but has plans to take things further and then return. Her husband, Christian Lehle, described plans to print a full-sized nude photo of her on the family car.

Also set in Bavaria, our next story is the tale of the Paddling Pool Slasher, someone who attacked 20-30 plastic pools in the Münnerstadt region, along with various other inflatable items. After mounting an 'extensive' investigation and taking numerous witness statements, the police took a 27-year-old suspect into custody. When several inflatable mattresses, apparently stolen, were confiscated from his home, the man confessed to the pool-killings. Police spokesman Björn Schmitt reports that the suspect explained his motive as 'just for fun'. Schmitt added that a fetish cannot be ruled out.

When Russian model Yulia Kaunova agreed to pose for Maxim magazine, she was unaware of how many - or few - preparations would be involved. Designer Natalya Fadeeva had no sketches of the 25-kilo meat dress involved before it was stitched onto Kaunova's body at the start of the photo shoot and 'we weren't sure the shoulder straps would be able to hold the weight of the meat'. There may be something else she hadn't considered: the effect of the studio lights on the raw beef. After the four-hour photo shoot, Kaunova reported that in the end 'I could barely breathe, the smell was driving me crazy'.

An Australian man has been sentenced to six years and seven months in jail after confessing to his wife and then police that he had sexually exploited his step-daughter when she was 9-11 years old and his daughter, age three at the time. He also admitted to raping several chickens. The family dog, in contrast, had proved able to resist his advances. Judge Paul Muscat described the offender, an Adelaide man in his 20s who has not been identified by Australian media, as an abuse survivor whose childhood sexual contact with dogs may have contributed to his more recent 'gross and disturbing' acts.

A 10-year-old girl sat down in a Birmingham, Alabama, school cafeteria. She intended to perch on one of the room's many plastic seats, which sit atop metal poles, but the seat part was missing. The school nurse summoned the bleeding girl's mother, Stacy Minnifield, who took her to the local hospital. Doctors expect her to make a full recovery from tearing that Minnifield described as 'both rectal and towards the front area / private area'.
In response, the school superintendent's office ordered a survey of area schools' cafeterias, reporting afterward that all is in order.

A tourist from Manchester apparently needed to use the loo quite badly when arriving at Italy's Brindisi Airport. On the way from the Ryanair plane to the terminal building, he pulled down his trousers and defecated on the asphalt. The twitchy 68-year-old man was taken into custody by border police and, when unable to explain himself, was fined a little under 3,000 euros for committing an obscene act.

Hurricane Matthew led one man to park his BMW in his house for protection from the weather, while others fished from their windows, but it also prompted actions from people further afield.
Unable to contact his grandmother in Florida, Nebraska's Eric Olsen tried ringing the Palm Coast police and sheriff's office, to no avail. His solution was to contact the Palm Coast Papa John's pizzeria and order a pizza for delivery to her home. The special instructions were for the driver to check on Claire Olsen and ring his number upon reaching the delivery location. When delivery driver Lance Tyler handed his mobile phone to Mrs Olsen, she explained that she hadn't been able to reach family members: her phone was out, and she had no electricity. Both have now been restored.
Tyler said that the look on the 87-year-old woman's face when she realised that her grandson had had a pizza delivered to her was better than any tip he's ever received, and she, in turn, reported that the pepperoni pizza itself was fantastic.

About 200 monocled cobras escaped from a farm in Nanjing, China, with 50 of them remaining on the loose at last report. The first sign of the escape came when a man in the Liuhe district discovered one of the venomous snakes in his home and killed it. Authorities on the hunt for the remaining snakes brought in additional personnel and some ambulances and anti-venom. The farm has been shut down.

The third time a seven-year-old girl inserted coins into a toy dispenser at a pizza restaurant in Rochester, New Hampshire, the egg-type capsule disgorged by the device contained not playthings but at least three pills. The girl's mother, Courtney Jones, said that she'd initially thought that it to be the result of an ill-advised business decision to create candies that resemble medicine, but police captain Jason Thomas reported that two of the pills were for high blood pressure and the other was for kidney stones. Authorities are working with the Massachusetts-based vendor to determine what happened, and this particular establishment has removed its toy-dispensing machines.

Kristi Goss worked as an administrative assistant to the county judge in Garland County, Arkansas. She left behind a trail of purchases on a county-issued credit card that may have been harder for auditors to ignore than she'd surmised. The $300,000 in purchases highlighted by auditors included sports tickets, a diamond bracelet, pet insurance, and a tuxedo for Goss's dog. She has now been arrested for fraudulent use of a credit card. Her dog has not yet been charged with any crimes.

Brooklyn-based tattoo artist Scott Campbell has a special offer, extending his services to those who may have more limited means than his usual celebrity clients. Customers get the needles' attention at no charge. The only catch is that they don't know what will appear on their arm. Campbell explains: 'Anyone who wants can stick their arm through a hole and I will tattoo it. I apply whatever design I feel the appendage needs.' The tattoo is revealed only when the arm is removed from this variation on a glory hole.
The offer was so successful in New York that Campbell has now taken it to Covent Garden

UPI reports quote Kuwaiti media as reporting on a parrot that repeated conversations between a local man and his housekeeper. The nature of the relayed conversations confirmed his wife's long-time suspicions, and she promptly took the bird to the police to present evidence of the crime of adultery. Officers sent her away, however, explaining that the parrot could have heard people cooing sweet nothings of the relevant sort to each other on television or the radio.

Finally, police officers at a Shanghai police station have shared CCTV footage of a crime scene online. The video shows a member of the public unplugging a mobile phone that was minding its own business while charging on an office table in the station. He placed it in his pocket and headed for the office door. Finding it to be locked from the outside, he threw the phone down onto the sofa, seemingly getting rid of the evidence.
The man, who had visited the police station to complain about a recruitment agency, was arrested on charges of theft. He explained to officers that he'd planned to sell the mobile device in order to recoup the money he'd lost to the agency.

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