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March 2019

1 March 2019

Thanks to Jack for our first story, from his neck of the woods. A woman in Lexington County, South Carolina, decided to carry a bottle of various suspicious-looking pills in her handbag while paying her first check-in visit to her parole officer. This did not escape the attention of the officer, who then spotted drugs in her car.
A search warrant was soon issued. Sure enough, Tina Catherine Dent, 54, whose probation was for a drugs violation, had what the sheriff's office later described as 'a car full of drugs' - amphetamine, cocaine, crack, meth, and 'other unidentified pills' - along with materials used to package them for sale. She faces a bevy of charges.

Canada's Tony Sawicz rang the emergency services when he noticed smoke pouring from the roof of a Winnipeg burger restaurant. The 18 fire crews converging on the blazing A&W found the smoke so thick that they were unable to enter; however, people kept joining the queue at the drive-through window, which employees had long since abandoned.
Accumulated cooking grease and low outdoor temperatures hampered fire-fighting efforts, and the building was ultimately a total loss. However, the franchise-owner hopes to reopen by the end of the year. Better start queueing up now.

The Houston Police Department's Jason Alderete described receiving a phone call from a concerned member of the public who had found a tiger indoors. Further questioning revealed that the caller had entered an apparently abandoned house to smoke marijuana. Officers arriving on the scene found not a hallucinating pot-head but a large, neglected-seeming wildcat in a cramped cage secured with a screwdriver and nylon strap.
Attempts to find out who left the tiger there, alongside some packages of meat, are ongoing. Meanwhile, the tiger has been taken to an animal sanctuary.

The next story takes us to the heart of Clipping country, Florida, where a female motorist reported that a man walking along the motorway near Key Largo had begun masturbating as she drove past him. When officers found 20-year-old Amado Enrique Guare in the car park of an adult bookshop nearby, he said that, although he'd been on his way to buy a porn video, he'd become 'impatient' upon seeing the woman.
According to Adam Linhardt, spokesman for the Monroe County sheriff's office, Guare has been jailed for indecent exposure and possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

Similar impatience in Florida was displayed by a 21-year-old woman, Samantha Jewel Hernandez, who prompted a call to the emergency services about a 'naked and belligerent' woman. When the police arrived, her boyfriend of two years, sporting a scratched face and ripped shirt, explained that she had wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with him and he'd declined.
Hernandez told the police both 'I didn't do anything!' and that she was too intoxicated to report what exactly had happened.
According to the arresting officer, she followed up by repeatedly striking her head against the partition in the police cruiser and then 'pretended to be unconscious'. The latter action prompted him to check on her, whereupon some spitting added 'Felony Battery on a Law Enforcement Officer' to her rap sheet.

After a jam session with friends, Delaware's Justin Koerner fell asleep in his car and started dreaming. When he awoke, the vehicle had crashed through a garden and into a bush. As the police prepared to take him into custody, a neighbour's security-camera recording revealed that, matching Koerner's dreams, someone had jumped into the car and driven off. In the footage, the car thief panics upon seeing a slumbering man in the rear seat, exits the moving vehicle, and joins his compatriots in a Suburban. Local authorities later arrested four men in a Suburban for having stolen several cars.

Arizona's Joshua Louis Hillyard, 28, was a mentor and role model in an outreach programme for teenagers. He sent photos of his tattoo to a participant in the programme, a 16-year-old girl who proved less than thrilled to see images of Hillyard's 'Fun Size' penis and to read the accompanying messages.
Hillyard reportedly told the Cottonwood police that, although he knew the girl's age, he'd believed the state's age of consent to be 16 'because that is the law in Montana', where he was on probation for burglary, fraud, and sale of dangerous drugs. He has now been detained for 'furnishing harmful materials to a minor'.

In November 2012, a laid-back outdoor meeting of the Madeira Beach, Florida, City Commission took a darker turn when member Nancy Oakley accused colleagues Shane Crawford and Cheryl McGrady of engaging in an extramarital affair (they are now married). It is alleged that, just after the meeting, she approached Crawford and slowly licked from his neck up the side of his face, also grabbing his crotch and drunkenly attempting to punch McGrady. In 2017, when Oakley stood for re-election, Crawford filed a complaint with the state ethics commission.
The ethics board have unanimously upheld the complaint, with administrative law judge Robert Cohen writing that 'licking a person on the face and neck is too unusual to be contrived by multiple witnesses and multiple [four] victims', although, as McGrady told investigators, 'everyone kind of talked about the fact that she licked people - that's what she did when she got drunk'.
Now, about a week later, Oakley has resigned, stating that, though innocent, she wishes to put the controversy in this town of about 4,500 to rest.

Jeremy Davis is a 25-year-old man whom Columbus, Ohio, police revived after an apparent drugs overdose. While paramedics were looking him over and police officers were checking whether there were any warrants for his arrest, Davis sprinted from the ambulance and drove off with an unattended police car that was idling nearby. The car was found crashed about 3 km away, with Davis nowhere to be seen.

Long-time reader Aimee has drawn my attention to the death of Los Angeles news anchor Christopher Burrous. His wife may have been unhappy to hear where he died - in a Days Inn hotel room with a male sexual companion - but she may be even less happy now that she knows the cause of death: a methamphetamine overdose caused by two 'rocks' of meth placed in his rectum. According to the autopsy report, Burrous's companion followed these two ministrations with some amyl nitrate. He began to worry when the masked Burrous's vomiting and grunting gave way to unresponsiveness. After trying to administer CPR, he summoned medical help, who pronounced Burrous dead.

Nydia Carrillo-Maldonado, the owner of Connecticut's Little Bears Beginnings Daycare, rang 911 to report that two-month-old charge Bella Redondo wasn't breathing properly. The child later died in hospital of blunt-force trauma to the head, with Stamford Police Lieutenant Diedrich Hohn stating that police believe the baby's death from two skull fractures was intentional. Before the 911 call, Carrillo-Maldonado had placed three phone calls to Bella's mother, the first of them three full hours before summoning help. In a statement read in court, the mother said: 'I heard her screams in the background [....] while you sat there for hours without doing anything to help her.'
Carrillo-Maldonado's legal pleas changed a few times in the 2.5 years since the homicide, but at no time has she apologised or mentioned feeling remorse. She has now been sentenced to 3.5 years in prison.

We return to Florida for our final item, in which spectators at a high-school wrestling tournament witnessed an interloper appear on the wrestling mat - a 19-year-old man fell through a skylight about 12 metres above the gym, suffering serious injuries.
According to Alachua County Sheriff's Lieutenant Brett Rhodenizer, at least eight people had been on the roof, of whom six have been arrested. They had been searching for a mobile phone that someone had thrown onto the roof. The health status of the phone has not been revealed.

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