Robert C. Williams robbed a bank, badly. According to the Baltimore Sun, this 42-year-old Laurel, Maryland, man managed to drop the roughly 28,000 euros' worth of cash on the floor. It took him a while to scoop the money into an umbrella that he found on the floor of the bank. He did then manage to leave the premises but promptly fell on the ice outside, giving himself a gash in the head. The delays caught up with him shortly after he reached his getaway car, and Williams was arrested.
The arrest report for Florida's Alberto Moreno states that the
45-year-old was going 'so fast that a speed was unable to be
determined'. Once officers were able to stop his truck, he explained
that he'd started his drive after drinking six beers at his home.
This might explain why he bore the scent of alcohol and was wearing
his shirt inside out and backwards. Asked to perform field sobriety
tests, he fell out of the vehicle, but he was eventually determined to
be officially drunk and was arrested on that basis.
But where was he headed in such a hurry? The arrest report again
provides the answer: he explained 'that he was on his way to kill his
friend for screwing him over earlier that day'.
Mexican media report on three men from Juárez who were driving
around town at high speed late at night. When the police stopped them, they
allegedly attempted to bribe the officers - they just wanted to get on
their way because they were 'out partying'. A search of the car
followed, in which a corpse was found in the back seat. The living men
explained that the group been using alcohol and drugs for several days
and suggested that their friend might have died from partying too
much.
Elián Hernández Palacios, 26; Roberto Israel Muñiz Padroz, 26; and
José Ángel Hernández Poblano, 25, have been charged with attempted
bribery and failure to give assistance.
An eight-year-old student at Ontario school École Élémentaire catholique
Sainte-Marie threw a banana that was getting old into a rubbish bin. Seeing this,
her teacher, Renee Oettershagen, saw an opportunity for a lesson.
The girl reported to her grandmother that Oettershagen pulled the
banana from the bin, peeled it, broke off a piece and ate it, then
instructed the girl to consume the remainder of the fruit. The
grandmother, Ann Marie Stewart, calls this 'the most bizarre,
abhorrent thing I could ever think of doing to a child', while the
girl's mother spoke in horror of what rubbish bins contain.
When confronted by the girl's mother, Oettershagen said: 'I was only
trying to teach her good food values, not to waste food, and that you
shouldn't throw food into the garbage.' The family pulled their
daughter out of the school, and Oettershagen has been relieved of her
duties.
According to Sweden's The Local, the central job agency offices
in Stockholm prepared to host a sales training course for
job-seekers. However, according to agency head Clas Olsson, they
were not fully prepared. They planned for 1,000 people to attend but
had inadvertently invited 61,000 - all of the city's registered
job-seekers. Olsson said: 'Something went wrong. Either it was human
error or something technical.'
The police were called in to deal with the angry unemployed people,
a crowd spilling out into adjacent streets in the centre of the capital.
Han Zhang, of the Chinese province of Anhui, placed crushed sleeping
pills in husband Han Mou's drink, then took scissors to his penis and
flushed a large portion of said organ down the toilet. She later
explained that Mou had asked for a divorce and that he would be less
likely to look for another woman this way. A child of divorced
parents herself, she didn't want her children to have a stepmother, 'a
terrible thing'.
On bail three months later, the 30-year-old Zhang used a syringe
to inject a box of milk with crushed sleeping pills. She then removed
what remained of Mou's genitals, called for an ambulance, and turned
herself in to the authorities. Her husband reiterates that he still
does not hate her.
Te'Mon Molley, 18, showed up at the Hamilton Township, New Jersey,
courthouse with two friends in tow. All three reeked of marijuana,
according to court officers, who promptly searched Molley. He was
carrying a wad of cash and 43 bags of heroin. For possession of the
drug with intent to distribute, another court date has been set.
A note to anyone else planning on taking drugs to court: doing so
is getting popular enough that you'll need to do something further if
you want to feature in the Clippings.
A woman left a minivan running at a Longmont, Colorado, petrol station, with a
four-year-old boy in the back seat. The carjacker who took advantage
of the situation was 28-year-old Ryan Stone, wanted by police
for failure to appear in court on drugs charges. In the high-speed
chase that ensued, Stone wounded a state trooper who was placing
spiked mats in his path. He later blocked the path of another minivan
and pulled the driver and passenger out, driving that vehicle until
crashing it into a guard rail. He drove off with the silver sedan
that then stopped. And another crash left him fleeing on foot.
Longmont police spokesman Commander Jeffrey Satur said Stone was
'definitely running like a person who did not want to go back to
jail'. He was eventually stymied by a chain link fence and arrested,
on a host of charges.
Finally, according to The New York Post, Brooklyn police officer Delfin Lantigua is in trouble, accused of offering to speed along the paperwork for women applying to work at the New York Police Department, for a price. An applicant reported the 34-year-old Lantigua after meeting him at a restaurant, where, she claims, he'd asked for her underwear as part of the deal. Investigators later found three pairs of women's underwear in his locker at the police department. Other women have now come forward, saying that Lantigua had asked for $1,000 and unlimited sexual access in exchange for expediting the application process.
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© 2014 Anna Shefl