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February 2014

22 February 2014

A Saskatchewan man left his car running in the morning before work. It disappeared, so he resigned himself to getting a cab ride to work. According to CBC reports, the man spotted his car on the way and the cab driver pursued it until police officers were able to take over the chase. The miscreants, females aged 17 and 19, eventually fled on foot and were tracked down by dogs.

Meanwhile in Sweden, a man had a taxi take him from Karlshamn to Mörrum, at least 10 kilometres away, and then discovered that he had no cash. He offered to fetch his debit card from his home, whereupon the driver said that he wanted to keep the passenger's kebab meal as collateral. This didn't meet with the cashless man's approval, and the discussion ended with the cabbie driving off with the food.
The de-kebabbed man went to the police to report the driver for theft, but he later dropped the charges, according to The Local.

Houston, Texas, firefighter Craig Moreau and his wife were driving home when they saw a lorry by the side of the road, with flames coming from the rear brakes. They pulled over to help the driver, who was having little success with a small hand-held extinguisher.
Moreau then asked the lorry driver what his cargo was. The answer 'Beer, it's all beer!' came just as one of the tyres exploded. Moreau told the driver to hand him Coors cans as quickly as he could. He recalls: 'I shook them up and popped a top one at a time until the fire was out and the brakes were cool.' As for any waste involved, Moreau reports that he prefers dark beer.

Oregon's Sirgiorgio Clardy, 26, is a pimp serving a 100-year prison term for crimes that include repeatedly tromping on a non-paying john's face. Contending that the shoe company have partial responsibility for this 'assault with a dangerous weapon', he has filed a $100 million suit against Nike for not affixing a warning label to shoes. He explains that each pair should bear a label telling users that the footwear could cause serious injury or death. The shoe company have not yet responded to the lawsuit.

In Ohio, two men and a group of teenagers drew attention to themselves by meeting up for a mediaeval-style sword-fighting session in a Taco Bell car park. Further attention arrived in the form of police officers, after the two men (Sebastian Wozniak, 20, and Anthony Klier, 22) reported that the teenagers had stolen from them. It soon emerged that the theft had been of the men's marijuana - instead of paying for the drugs, the youths pepper-sprayed Wozniak and left the scene. Both men are charged with obstruction of justice and of drug-related offences.

California's Ruben Diego Ortega took a quick nap and got in trouble. A Santa Ana man woke to find the 20-year-old Ortega snoozing at the foot of his bed. After waking Ortega and chasing him from the home, the man determined that mobile phones and a game console had run off too. He knew Ortega so simply visited the latter's home and recovered his property. Police report that, after being arrested, Ortega 'said he was crawling out of the house with the property and must have fallen asleep'.

Police believe they have found Pennsylvania's 'Swiss Cheese Pervert', a man who women report has driven up to them with exposed genitalia and offered cash in exchange for such acts as placing cheese on his penis. They arrested 41-year-old Christopher Pagano after finding case documents from 2009 that say Pagano pulled a large block of cheese from a pocket and asked a woman on the street whether he might 'give her $20 to rub the Swiss cheese on his penis'.

Florida's Daniel Norona, 24, tried to recruit a man to help him burgle a pawnbroker's shop. It is unknown exactly how much money Norona offered, but we do know that the man he approached is a police officer. Norona too knew this. He has been arrested.

According to AP reports from Springfield, Massachusetts, a food delivery driver had stopped to deliver an order when he was accosted by three men in dark clothing. They made him hand over the food and his car keys at knifepoint, then got into his car. This is where their plan stalled - none of them knew how to drive a car with a manual transmission. After arguing among themselves, the three men left the car behind and ran away with the food.

Greg Snider was engaged in a business phone call in a Houston, Texas, car park when a homeless man approached his car and requested a few coins. Snider gave him 75 cents in change. When he drove off after the phone call, he was pulled over and cuffed by a 'screaming' police officer who explained: 'We saw you downtown. We saw what you did.'
What the police claimed to have seen was Snider giving the homeless man drugs. For the next hour, officers conducted a fruitless search of Snider's car for drugs and he watched the number of police cars on the scene rise by 10. Laughing about the mistake, officers finally let him go. He has filed a complaint, in part because of the damage done to his car.

In Dublin, Saverio Bellante got into an argument with his landlord over a move in their year-long chess game. The argument ended with Bellante, 34, stabbing and killing Tom O'Gorman, 29. The body ended up in still worse shape when Bellante tried to eat his landlord's heart, and a lung has yet to be located.

James Grant, 24, is a doctor from New Zealand. While spearfishing with friends, he felt a tug on his leg. When he looked down, he saw that it was not his friends pulling his leg but a shark. It released his hold when he stabbed it with the knife he was carrying. He removed his wetsuit and then used the first-aid kit in his vehicle to stitch up the up-to-five-centimetre bites he'd suffered. He then joined his friends in a nearby pub, where he bled slightly on the floor until the staff offered him a bandage. He later visited a hospital for fuller treatment.

The Sunderland Echo reports on Paul Harbord, a 27-year-old rigger who was part of a large group in fancy dress at a pub in Old Shotton. Responding to reports that the group were 'rowdy', a female police officer showed up at the pub. Harbord flicked a bar towel in her face and allegedly shouted: 'Look, here is one of the strippers!' When he reached the Peterlee police station, he worked out that this was not part of the evening's planned entertainment.
He later pleaded guilty to obstructing a police officer and had to pay roughly 120 euros in fines.

A dispute arose between two neighbours in the car park of their block of flats in Portland. Oregon. One may have tried to rob the other. What we do know is one of the men, age 40, shot the other in the leg, according to police spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson. While the 32-year-old victim ran - possibly slowly - for help, the shooter fled. In the process, he accidentally shot himself in the groin. Police took him into custody and determined that the injury to his testicles 'is consistent with somebody putting a gun in his pants', Simpson said.

Also in Portland, a police officer heard shouts emanating from an unattended patrol car at the precinct building in the morning. Within was Ruben James Turner III, who explained to the officer that he was homeless and had decided to sleep in the vehicle but then couldn't get out. He had written 'Help' with his finger in the window condensation, to no avail.
Turner, 30, wasn't aware that leaving the back of a patrol car, the area where suspects are deposited, is rather difficult without help from outside. He is now in a different sort of secure area, the Multnomah County Jail.

The Chicago Tribune reports that a police supervisor accidentally fired his handgun into the ceiling at Chicago's Central District police station. Water began to pour from the ceiling, wreaking havoc on computer and desks before city engineers arrived to repair the damage. Fifteen prisoners awaiting court appearances were transferred to another location. The supervisor responsible is likely to face disciplinary action.

And in Boynton Beach, Florida, Eric Morkert pulled his pickup truck over on the way back from his firearm safety class and examined his new Glock 17 handgun. He had removed the magazine, but a bullet was in the chamber as he moved the slide. He ended up shooting himself in the leg. Officers confiscated Morkert's gun.

Police in Lorain, Ohio, state that a woman contacted them for help in retrieving her belongings from the home she had shared with her 27-year-old ex-boyfriend. She explained that he'd threatened to kill her so didn't want to enter on her own. When they entered the home, officers found several large jars of marijuana and around 30 associated live plants, according to Detective Mike Giddich. The woman told officers that her ex-boyfriend had spoken of plans to grow marijuana in order to raise enough money to hire a lawyer and sue her for custody of their child.

New Mexico's Savana Jimenez rang the police to report the presence of a gunman near a nearby convenience store. What Jimenez, 22, didn't tell the dispatcher is her location - she wasn't at the store but in a car whose driver was in the process of receiving a taillight-related ticket. According to officers, Jimenez later admitted to inventing the gunman story so that the officer ticketing her friend would leave the scene. Jimenez, who erroneously thought there were warrants out for her arrest, was arrested and charged with obstruction.

A homeowner in Tooele, Utah, was doing maintenance work below the floor when he found boxes labelled 'Explosives/TNT'. He contacted the police. According to Tooele Community Services supervisor Bucky Whitehouse, there was foaming from the boxes, a telltale sign of ageing and volatile dynamite. Accordingly, about 20 homes were evacuated and the bomb squad were called in. They reported that the contents were actually homemade soap (and individually labelled accordingly). The foaming had been caused by moisture beneath the floor.

At a car dealership in Ocala, Florida, a salesman helped paraplegic Shamal Battice into a car to see how it felt, whereupon Battice, 28, locked the doors, used his folding cane to depress the accelerator, and drove off. Officers caught up with him shortly after this; he'd had to stop to put petrol in the car, then couldn't escape on foot. He faces charges of grand theft auto and driving with a suspended licence.
The dealership was in the news about three years ago after a woman brought her Ford Escape there in response to a letter about a fire-related recall. While there, the SUV burst into flames, taking out five vehicles parked nearby for servicing.

A 44-year-old man entered a Frankfurt branch of Deutsche Bank, queued up, and handed the teller a demand for money. He explained to the teller that he didn't really want 1,000 euros and asked her to press the alarm button so that he would be arrested and have to quit using drugs. The teller offered him a cup of coffee while waiting for officers to arrive.
His plan failed. A police spokesman told Germany's The Local: 'He didn't hurt anyone, didn't damage anything, so there was no reason for us to hold him. He was offered advice on where he could seek help for his addiction independently.'

After a 66-year-old Arizona man's heart procedure, a nurse found his wife, 65-year-old retired nurse Rose Mary Vogel, handling his intravenous drip. The brown substance then discovered in the man's IV line was found to be faecal matter matching an empty syringe in Vogel's handbag. She was carrying two further syringes, whose contents weren't immediately obvious. Her husband is expected to recover.

In Florida, Kenneth Haskins, 58, was taken to task by Mar Plaza, the managers of his block of flats, for masturbating in front of his windows and front door. His response was to set the building on fire. After admitting that he had started the fire to exact revenge, he was charged with first-degree arson.

France's Le Parisien reports that two masked men tied up a 56-year-old jeweller, identified as 'Anne', in her home in April last year and poured a liquid over her head, threatening to set it alight if she didn't reveal the codes for deactivating the alarms in her shop. While his accomplice was busy stealing cash and jewels from the shop, the second man, age 20, untied her and kissed her cheek.
DNA captured from the kiss has now been found to match a man detained for another crime. 'Pierre G.' explained that he had kissed her out of compassion for the four hours of trauma she had endured.

If you're going to attempt a carjacking, it might make sense to wait until the desired car has left the garage. Andre Bacon, age 21, is accused of entering a Chicago home and ordering a woman to hand over the keys to her car. She responded by simply closing the garage door, locking him inside. Bacon is in jail on charges of attempted vehicular hijacking and theft.

Mexico's El Universal reports that Guillermo 'N.' (elsewhere identified as Guillermo Reyes), 49, was getting out of his car at an alcohol checkpoint in Mexico City when a passenger helpfully offered the comment: 'He's drunk, he's drunk'. That passenger was his pet parrot. Indeed, the driver failed a breath test and was then arrested.

In the Czech Republic, the University of Silesia ran a competition for its students to create the best promotional video, especially to attract secondary-school students to study there. University spokesman Ivan Augustin reports that the contest has been cancelled, because only two entries were received and there was 'lack of understanding of the importance of the subject matter'. By the latter he meant that the young film-makers focused exclusively on amorous female students, filming sex in toilet cubicles, and describing the university's role in 'the procreation of education'. Augustin said: 'We decided that perhaps we didn't want a promotional video after all.'

Norway's Dagbladet reports that snow plough driver Bjørn Hagen was driving along the road outside the Nordsinni church, in the Dokka area, when he saw a suspiciously small individual in a car in a snow-filled ditch. When Hagen approached the vehicle, the driver, a 10-year-old boy with his 18-month-old sister as his passenger, said he was a dwarf who had left his driving licence at home. Hagen rang the police at about the same time as the boy's mother, who had awakened to find the children and car absent.
A few days later, reports Aftenbladet, the boy liberated the car of a relative his family were visiting and managed to drive about 30 km before stopping. When he did so, a bystander took the keys away. This time, the police reported the family to children's services authorities. Speaking for the Vest Oppland police, Bård Christiansen said: 'It is scary and very sad that he is allowed to keep going on like this.'

Adrian Jimmerson is an 18-year-old man who burgled a Dallas, Texas, police officer's flat, making off with his service weapon and ammunition. Two people saw him leaving the area with a pillowcase full of items and ran after him. Jimmerson dropped the pillowcase when leaping over a fence, and in the process he ripped his trousers. His wallet and school identification card were found on the ground, and he was arrested the next day.

An 'ongoing disturbance' at the wedding party of West Yorkshire couple Wendy Carter and Ryan Barraclough led police officers in Bradford to declare the festivities over. Police report that three arrests were made in connection with this disturbance, which took the form of a mass brawl started over a thrown pork pie.
More unusually, venue staff say that not a single glass or other item was broken in the fracas, which had led the children present to take shelter in the toilets and involved 30 to 40 guests.

A group of worried schoolchildren warned the crew of an EasyJet flight from Amsterdam to Newcastle that one of the passengers was writing in Arabic in a notebook. The writer's row-mate, Adam Robson, later said 'people were looking over at it as it had both Arabic writing and English words', then, 'just as we were about to take off, there was a kicking and banging on my seat from behind us and [one of the roughly 15 students] was having a panic attack'. The pilot turned the aircraft around, returning to the terminal, and the children were placed on a later flight.
Robson said that he was glad the man, an Iranian master's student who'd spoken of how he was trying to teach himself Arabic, 'wasn't aware of it and he didn't understand what was going on'.

On his break at a warehouse in Milford, Iowa, Robert McKevitt put a dollar in a vending machine, but the chocolate bar he'd requested didn't fall. Another dollar had no effect, so, refusing to let the machine win, he commenced rocking it. He then commandeered a forklift truck.
Allegedly, he picked up and dropped the machine about six times, from a height of perhaps half a metre, thereby freeing three chocolate bars. He says he just used his forklift to push the machine against the wall after rocking it. Either way, he was handed his walking papers five days later and denied unemployment benefits for reasons of having 'demonstrated a willful disregard for his employer's interests'.
He said 'that machine was trouble' and that 'now I hear they have all new vending machines there'.

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