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Torchwood transcripts - series 2
Episode 9: Something Borrowed
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TORCHWOOD
2X09: SOMETHING BORROWED
ORIGINAL AIR DATE IN UK: 03/05/2008
TRANSCRIBED FROM UK (DL)
Written by: PHIL FORD
Directed by: ASHLEY WAY
Transcript by Intrepid
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==========================
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==========================
SUMMARY: Gwen is bitten by a shape-changing nostrovite and wakes up on her
wedding day to find herself pregnant.
==========================
TORCHWOOD
2X09: SOMETHING BORROWED
==========================
FADE IN:
[INTRODUCTION]
JACK HARKNESS: (v.o.) Torchwood -- outside the government, beyond the police --
fighting for the future on behalf of the human race. The 21st Century is when everything
changes ... and Torchwood is ready.
FLASH TO: PREVIOUSLY ON
INT. THE HUB – BACK CORRIDOR
(Jack runs his thumb along the engagement ring on Gwen’s finger. He lifts her hand
up.)
JACK: What's this?
GWEN: That's an engagement ring, that is.
JACK: You're getting married?
GWEN: Yes, Rhys asked.
JACK: And you said yes?
GWEN: Well, no one else will have me.
GWEN: I need stability, Jack, someone I can rely on.
FADE TO WHITE
END OF PREVIOUSLY ON
INT. BAR / CLUB – NIGHT
LEGEND:
FRIDAY NIGHT
(Music: "Filthy Gorgeous," by Scissor Sisters.)
(Music pulses through the crowded club. A group of three women in red shirts and pink
furry cowboy hats are holding their drinks and moving to the music.)
CARRIE: (glancing at her watch) Oh, it's the service she's meant to be late for,
not her hen do. Where is she?
(Gwen walks into the club across the room.)
TRINA: (points) Here she is!
GIRLFRIENDS: (sing loudly)
Here comes the bride, looking for a ride
Here comes the bride, and she'll take it up the aisle!
CARRIE: Ey, thought you'd bottled it.
GWEN: No, I had a lot on at work.
CARRIE: Oh.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (EARLIER)
LEGEND:
2 HOURS EARLIER
(Gwen is running on the sidewalk.)
OWEN: (from radio) Careful, Gwen ...
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. HUB – WORKSTATIONS – NIGHT (EARLIER)
(Owen is at the computer.)
OWEN: ... this thing eats people.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (EARLIER)
(Gwen has her gun out and starts down the substation stairs.)
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT (EARLIER)
(She makes her way down the stairs and enters the bathroom. She starts between the stalls,
kicking the doors open to check each one.)
(An older man in a suit steps out of one of the first stalls, startling Gwen. He’s
strangely calm. Gwen has her gun on him. She puts her gun down.)
GWEN: Oh, sorry, love, on your way.
(The man’s eyes are red and he snarls at her, baring his pointed, blackened teeth. He
holds his hands up as claws and starts toward her.)
(Gwen fires multiple times, hitting him square in the chest. The man turns and runs out.)
(Gwen starts after him.)
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (EARLIER)
(The shape-shifter runs out of the substation bathrooms. He’s no longer the older
man, but a young man.)
GWEN: (v.o.) Jack, it's a shape-shifter!
(Gwen exits the substation bathrooms.)
GWEN: (v.o.) He could look like anyone now, but he's leaving a trail of black
blood.
(She looks around.)
(The shape-shifter is running down the sidewalk, his hand clutched to the wound in his
side.)
GWEN: (to mic) He's changed but it's definitely him. He's heading towards Trinity
Street.
(Gwen runs after him.)
INT. BAR -- NIGHT
(Gwen is in her red shirt and pink fuzzy cowboy hat. She’s munching on a bag of
chips.)
GWEN: So, is there anything to eat tonight, or is it just booze all the way?
TRINA: Booze, blokes, bopping and booze!
(The brunette girlfriend signals to someone behind Gwen.)
OFFICER (STRIPPER): (o.s.) Gwen Cooper ...
(Gwen turns around. A stripper dressed as an officer steps up to her and tosses his hat
aside.)
OFFICER (STRIPPER): ... you're nicked.
GWEN: (eyes wide) Oh, no.
(As the girlfriends laugh, the stripper rips his shirt and pants off revealing a red dildo
peering out of hot pink Speedos.)
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (EARLIER)
(Gwen runs up the steps and exits the sidewalk through an open iron gate. She slows, her
gun out
MAN: (o.s.) All alone?
(Gwen whirls around.)
MAN: (o.s.) Quick, through here.
(She looks behind her, doing a 180-degree turn.)
(Suddenly, the shape-shifter bursts out through the bushes. He’s younger and
dark-haired – red-eyed and rotten teeth – and snarling at her. He grabs her,
catching her off guard and tackles her down to the bags of trash and boxes behind her.)
GWEN: Ahh!
(A cat screeches off screen.)
(The shape-shifter is above her. She grabs his neck, pushing him back. He snarls and
screeches above her. With one hand, she reaches blindly for the gun near her head.)
INT. BAR – BATHROOM -- NIGHT
(Gwen and her girlfriends are in the bathroom, giggling and washing their hands.
GWEN: This is such a bad idea. I'm getting married in ... like, what, what ...
thirteen hours!
(She lifts up her left arm to look at her watch. We note that her forearm is wrapped in a
fresh bandage – there are a couple of splotches of blood already seeping through the
gauze.)
(The girls burst into more giggles and laughter. Gwen looks at herself in the mirror.)
GWEN: Oh, look at me! Hot.
(She dabs her forehead with her wrist.)
CARRIE: Oh, you're gorgeous. Rhys is so lucky.
TRINA: Oh, I know. (She looks at the brunette girlfriend.) I've heard about his
cock!
(The two girlfriends burst into laughter. Gwen stares at them with wide eyes.)
CARRIE: What have you done to your arm?
(She nods to the bandage on Gwen’s arm.)
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (EARLIER)
(The shape-shifter grabs Gwen’s left arm and bites down hard on her forearm.)
GWEN: Ahh! Ahh! Get off!
(Gwen screams and pushes him away from her. She grabs her injured arm.)
(The shape-shifter slams back against the wire gate. BANG-BANG-BANG! He’s shot
multiple times in the chest.)
(Gwen looks behind her and sees Jack. The shape-shifter screeches and falls to the ground.
Jack runs up to Gwen. She holds her right hand out to him and he helps her to her feet.)
JACK: You all right?
GWEN: Yeah.
(He looks at her injured arm.)
JACK: Owen should take a look at that.
INT. BAR – BATHROOM -- NIGHT
(Gwen looks down at her injured arm.)
GWEN: Um ... nothing, it's just a scratch.
(Gwen smiles at Carrie, who smiles back.)
CUT TO:
INT. GWEN’S PLACE -- MORNING
CU: CLOCK
(It’s 7:00. The alarm beeps and radio switches on.)
(Gwen gets up with a start. She slams the alarm off.)
LEGEND:
SATURDAY MORNING
(Gwen groans and rubs her aching head.)
GWEN: Aw ... Gwen.
GWEN’S BLURRY POV – She looks at her wedding dress hanging on the closet door
and FOCUSES on the dress.
(Gwen smiles and clasps her hands together in glee. It’s her wedding day!)
RADIO: (softly in b.g.) For you and as the time’s flying by I just pray to God
...
(Gwen flings the covers aside and sits up on the edge of the bed. She stops and turns
slowly to look at her reflection in the mirror.)
(She stands up and shows her protruding and very pregnant belly.)
(Her jaw drops and eyes open wide ...
GWEN: Oh ...
SMASH TO:
END OF TEASER
ROLL TITLE CREDITS
FADE IN:
INT. GWEN’S PLACE – BEDROOM -- MORNING
(Owen is examining Gwen’s protruding and very pregnant belly with his stethoscope.)
OWEN: Gwen?
GWEN: Hm?
OWEN: You're pregnant. Almost full term.
GWEN: Pregnant? (Owen nods.) That's not possible.
(The front door slams shut. Jack appears in the bedroom doorway. Owen quickly removes his
stethoscope.)
JACK: How you doing, Gwen?
GWEN: Jack, will you tell me what's going on? Owen says I'm pregnant.
(A device Owen’s holding is beeping.)
JACK: Oh, you think?
GWEN: Jesus Christ! What with?
OWEN: It's an exo-biological insemination.
JACK: That alien last night.
GWEN: Oh, get off!
(She pushes Owen away from her and surges to her feet. She’s moving past Jack and out
the bedroom door.)
GWEN: It bit me, Jack. That's all.
(Owen turns to look at Jack. Jack rolls his eyes.)
GWEN: (o.s.) Ugh!
(They both leave the room and follow Gwen.)
INT. GWEN’S PLACE – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
(Gwen is in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of water.)
(Jack and Owen walk in.)
JACK: Passed the eggs on in the bite. Some species do that. A kind of sneaky way of
keeping the bloodline going. Boy, would Darwin have a field day if he'd made it to space.
GWEN: Mmm. Yeah. Great.
OWEN: Listen, Gwen, you are going to be fine, I promise, okay? If there was any
biological incompatibility you would be dead. (Gwen opens the refrigerator and reaches for
something to eat. Owen takes out his scanner.) Now, according to this scan you're carrying
a non-sentient blastopheric mass.
GWEN: A what?!
(She opens the jar of pickles and starts eating.)
OWEN: It's a kind of alien egg. But don’t worry -- I'm going to look after
you, I promise. We've got procedures for this situation.
GWEN: You mean, this has happened before?
JACK: You've heard of immaculate conception, haven't you? Well ...
OWEN: Right, we take you back to the hub. You lie back, I run a bio-xenic
microtron, a couple of days off your feet, and you'll be right as rain.
GWEN: Whoa, a "couple of days"? In five hours I'm walking down the aisle,
Owen!
JACK: No, you're not.
OWEN: Gwen, I hate to say this, but you're going to have to postpone the wedding.
GWEN: No! N-no way. Have you any idea how much a wedding costs?
JACK: Listen, Gwen, you are not carrying the baby Jesus in there.
GWEN: I don't care! All right? I can't put Rhys through this. He's had to put up
with enough as it is, okay? So I'm not postponing the wedding.
JACK: You are not thinking straight.
GWEN: (shouts) Do not bring my bloody hormones into this, Mr. Jack Harkness!
(points)
JACK: Okay, calm down.
GWEN: Owen has said if this wasn't safe, I would know about it by now, right?
OWEN: As far as I know, yeah ...
GWEN: Okay, so I am good until after the wedding. And then I'll do whatever
I have to do. Once I'm Mrs. Williams. Not before.
CUT TO:
INT. THE BACHELOR PAD – MORNING
(Rhys’s phone is on the floor as it rings.)
(Rhys reaches for the phone. He’s on the couch and still sleeping.)
RHYS: (to phone) Hello?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. GWEN’S PLACE – BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
(Gwen is on the phone as she paces the floor.)
GWEN: (to phone) Rhys?
RHYS: (to phone) Gwen! (sits up, chuckles) Morning, lovely. Don't worry ... (throws
a stuffed animal, hitting Banana Boat on the head and waking him up) (Rhys stands up.)
Banana ... Boat's on the, on the phone to the florist right now, checking the button
holes.
GWEN: (to phone) Oh, he showed up, then?
RHYS: (to phone) Uh, yeah, yeah. Uh, Lanzarote cops let him go with a warning.
GWEN: (to phone) Rhys, I need to see you.
RHYS: (to phone) It's bad luck before the wedding.
(Rhys looks at his reflection in the mirror and his smile and good cheer fade quickly.)
RHYS: (flatly) What's happened?
CUT TO:
INT. THE HUB – WORKSTATIONS – MORNING
(The hub alarms sound and door closes. Jack and Owen return. Toshiko is at her
workstation.)
TOSHIKO: How is she?
OWEN: She's going ahead with the wedding.
JACK: Which is fine, as long as she doesn't go into labor at the altar. (Ianto
enters.) Rhys might forgive her going down the aisle pregnant, but not giving birth to a
razor-toothed monster that eats half his family.
IANTO: Could that happen?
OWEN: Well, look, the pregnancy's advanced and we're not familiar with the species.
JACK: Which is why you, Owen, need to open up the guy with the teeth and make sure
there's no surprises.
OWEN: I'm on it.
(Owen heads out.)
JACK: Tosh, you’ve got an early pass to the wedding. (Toshiko smiles.) Keep an
eye on Gwen. Ianto ...
IANTO: Jack?
JACK: Gwen's going to need a new wedding dress. Bigger.
(Ianto turns and heads out.)
CUT TO:
INT. GWEN’S PLACE – LIVING ROOM
(Gwen waits in the kitchen for Rhys to arrive. Off screen, the front door slams shut.)
RHYS: Gwen?! (rushes through the hallway) What is it? You've got me going out of my
head. (enters living room) Don't tell me you're having second thoughts.
GWEN: No, I'm not.
(Gwen shows him her very pregnant belly.)
(Rhys is speechless. Gwen points to her belly and shakes her head.)
(oh.)
CUT TO:
INT. BRIDAL SHOP – DAY
(Ianto looks through the wedding dresses on the rack. He removes one and holds it up
against himself as he looks at his reflection in the mirror.)
(The shop assistant walks up to him.)
SHOP ASSISTANT: Can I help you?
IANTO: Yeah, I'm looking for a wedding dress for a friend.
SHOP ASSISTANT: Of course you are, sir. You'd be surprised, we're quite used to men
buying for their ... 'friends'.
CUT TO:
INT. GWEN’S PLACE – LIVING ROOM
RHYS: Bastard Torchwood!
GWEN: I know.
RHYS: Bastard Torchwood!
GWEN: I know.
RHYS: Pregnant! (shouts) You're pregnant!
GWEN: Sorry, out of everything that could have screwed things up ... I really don't
know what to say.
RHYS: (shouts) You don’t have to say anything, all right!
(Gwen stares at him.)
RHYS: (quiet) Sorry. It's not your fault. (riled up again) It's them! It's Jack!
It's not like he didn't know you were getting married today! Why the hell
did he have to send you out last night?!
GWEN: (shouts) Because it's my job!
RHYS: Well, are you going to be all right?
GWEN: I'll be fine. They'll take me to the hub. Owen's got this ... uh ... big
machine ... thing.
RHYS: Good.
GWEN: Yes.
RHYS: Right, um -- look, I'll ... uh – I’ll get Banana to start ringing
people. Um, we'll tell everybody you're ill. Uh, appendicitis or something...
GWEN: We're not postponing the wedding. No way.
RHYS: Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? (voice
quivers) Getting married today doesn't matter.
GWEN: It matters to me! It's not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today.
Whatever happens. If the skies are suddenly fill full of spaceships, or an army of weevils
climb out of the drains on St. Mary's Street, you fool! (she hits him with the dish cloth)
Do you not understand what I'm saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you,
that's all I want to do.
(Touched, Rhys hugs Gwen and holds her tight.)
GWEN: (gasps) Ooh, uh --
CUT TO:
INT. HUB – AUTOPSY AREA – DAY
(Owen opens the white body bag and exposes the sharp-toothed shape-changer inside.)
(Toshiko walks in and pauses on the steps.)
TOSHIKO: Um, Owen?
OWEN: Woot-woo. Look at you.
(She’s in a purple dress with hair up and ready to go to the wedding.)
TOSHIKO: Do you like it?
OWEN: Drop-dead gorgeous, Tosh, and I think I speak with some authority.
(He turns to get forceps. Toshiko walks down the steps into the area.)
TOSHIKO: I don't really get a chance to dress up much. What are you wearing?
OWEN: The truth is, Tosh, weddings have never really been me, either. Love 'em and
leave 'em. That was me.
TOSHIKO: Owen, you should come, could be fun.
OWEN: Have you ever seen a dead man dance?
TOSHIKO: I've seen Fred Astaire in Easter Parade. Twice. Late night TV.
OWEN: God, you need a date, don't you? Which this isn't, is it?
TOSHIKO: No, Owen, it isn't. I just want you to come to the wedding. Please.
OWEN: Oh, all right, I'll ... dig out my dancing shoes.
(She smiles and heads out. Owen turns his attention to the body.)
CUT TO:
INT. GWEN’S PLACE – DAY
(Gwen talks with her parents, Geraint and Mary Cooper.)
GERAINT COOPER: I know it's been a while, duckling, but, um, .... we ... uh ...
never dreamed this.
GWEN: Rhys and I wanted it to be a surprise for you.
MARY COOPER: You're always full of them, but, well, this beats them all.
GERAINT COOPER: Is this why you haven't come to see us? All those cancelled visits?
GWEN: No. No, Dad, don't be silly. It's my job.
MARY COOPER: This mysterious job. All the same, Swansea’s not another planet.
GWEN: Mmm.
GERAINT COOPER: You could have phoned, duckling.
GWEN: I'm sorry.
MARY COOPER: Oh, don't be sorry, Gwen. I can't wait to see the look on Rhys’s
mum's face. (She laughs as she gets up and gives Gwen a hug.) It's wonderful news, Gwen!
Your dad's been going blue, holding his breath, waiting for a little grandchild.
CUT TO:
EXT. CARDIFF BAY AREA (STOCK) – DAY
(Clear skies, lovely view. Perfect day for a wedding.)
EXT. HOTEL (STOCK) -- DAY
(Large hotel out in the country.)
EXT. HOTEL – FRONT – DAY
(The car pulls up front and stops. The door opens and Geraint Cooper gets out. He holds
the back door open as Gwen gets out of the back seat.)
(CUT TO: Gwen and her mother head for the hotel as Geraint helps unload the back of the
car.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – LOBBY – DAY – CONTINUOUS
(Gwen signs the registration book at the front desk.)
(Geraint and Mary stand in the back of the room behind Gwen.)
GERAINT COOPER: (whispers to Mary) I was with Rhys and his mates all night last
night. (Gwen removes her jacket.) No one said anything about Gwen being pregnant.
MARY COOPER: Well, Rhys was probably under orders. Gwen knows how to control her
men.
GERAINT COOPER: Studied under the mistress.
(Mary looks at him and they share a smile and soft laugh. The front door slams closed.
Brenda and Barry Williams enter.)
MARY COOPER: Oh, there's Rhys’s mum and dad.
GERAINT COOPER: Brenda.
(Brenda nods to them. Gwen turns away as they enter.)
BRENDA WILLIAMS: Geraint.
GERAINT COOPER: Barry.
BARRY WILLIAMS: Hello.
MARY COOPER: (hugs and faux kisses Brenda) Lovely to see you, Brenda.
BRENDA WILLIAMS: What a lovely outfit. Such a brave choice for you.
MARY COOPER: And you were so made for green.
GERAINT COOPER: Big day at last.
BARRY WILLIAMS: How's the bride?
GERAINT COOPER: Well ...
(They turn to look at the front desk and find Gwen gone. They look around. Gwen’s
nowhere to be seen. Mary looks at Geraint.)
GERAINT COOPER: Um, maybe there's something we should ... uh ... talk about ...
BRENDA WILLIAMS: Oh?
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – RHYS’S ROOM – DAY
(Rhys opens the door and finds Gwen standing out in the hallway.)
RHYS: Gwen!
(She walks in.)
GWEN: This isn't going to work, Rhys!
(He closes the door behind her.)
GWEN: We haven't thought this through properly. I mean, what about after the
wedding?
RHYS: (sighs) I've been thinking the same.
GWEN: My mum and dad think that they are getting a grandchild. (Rhys nods.) Your
mum and dad are going to be thinking the same thing. They're going to be excited,
they’re going to be planning things. I can't tell them I've lost a baby. They'll be
devastated.
RHYS: (reaches for her hand) We could tell them the truth.
GWEN: (backs away) Whoa -- talk sense now, Rhys.
RHYS: Well, the lies don't work, Gwen. Remember? You tried it.
GWEN: What do you think the truth will do to them? We've seen what comes through
the rift. I don't want my mum and dad living in fear of what's prowling around in the
sewers!
(Gwen’s phone rings.)
GWEN: I'm sorry.
(She answers it and steps away from Rhys.)
GWEN: (to phone) Hey, Jack.
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. THE HUB – JACK’S OFFICE – DAY
JACK: (to phone, smiles) Hey. How are you doing?
(Gwen sits on the bed.)
GWEN: (to phone) Oh, you know, so far so good.
JACK: (to phone) Look, I just wanted to let you know Tosh will be with you anytime.
Call it moral support.
GWEN: (to phone) I don't need a baby-sitter.
(Rhys holds out his hand for the phone.)
RHYS: Give it here.
(He snaps his fingers and takes the phone from her.)
RHYS: (to phone) We don't need you at all, Jack! You've already done plenty to mess
up today. Do us both a favor and keep well out of it, yeah?
JACK: Yeah, I hear you, Rhys. Look, still, congratulations ...
(Rhys hangs up. The line disconnects.)
(Jack pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at it before closing it.)
(Rhys closes the phone.)
GWEN: It's not his fault.
(Rhys is silent and still fuming.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – LOBBY – DAY
(A blonde-haired woman dressed in black walks down the main stairs and turns to exit to
the left. The bridal party walks in through the front door.)
CARRIE: Oh, this is nice, isn't it, Trina?
TRINA: Class on toast. Eh, you should get a brochure, Mervyn. If some poor girl
ever gets drunk enough to marry you.
(Trina and Carrie laugh.)
MERVYN: Uh, yeah, that's – that’s funny. I tell you what, it's going to
take more than a swanky hotel to get a catch like me down the aisle.
(Banana Boat comes down the main stairs and joins them. The women turn to sign in at the
front desk.)
BANANA BOAT: And here's mad Mervyn, the Minister of Sound!
MERVYN: Well, the Duke of Disco, the Regent of Rock and the Lord of Love.
BANANA BOAT: Whatever you say, mate. Listen, do you want a hand with the decks and
the lights?
MERVYN: Aye, but, uh ... (looks at the women signing in) I tell you what, reckon
I'm up for a bit of a Mervyn sandwich later, huh.
(Banana Boat chuckles. Mervyn leaves. Banana Boat turns and promptly loses his ability to
speak as he sees Toshiko walk in carrying a large dress box.)
BANANA BOAT: Woah. All right, love? You've got a big box. Do you want a hand with
that?
TOSHIKO: Uh. No, thank you. I'm fine.
(Toshiko makes her way toward the front desk.)
BANANA BOAT: Are you going to the wedding?
TOSHIKO: I'm a friend of Gwen's.
BANANA BOAT: Well, I'm Banana. I suppose you can tell why.
TOSHIKO: You come up in spots and go soft quickly?
(She puts the dress box down on the front desk.)
BANANA BOAT: I'm actually the best man.
TOSHIKO: Evolution is full of surprises.
BANANA BOAT: I get to check everything personally, right. Uh, the disco, cake,
flowers, seating.
TOSHIKO: (to front desk) Bridal suite?
FRONT DESK: (o.s.) First floor, on your left.
BANANA BOAT: So do you fancy a little drink later?
(Toshiko picks up her box and heads up the main stairs. Banana doesn’t follow her.)
TOSHIKO: Sorry, I'm intolerant to vasoactive amines.
BANANA BOAT: Huh?
TOSHIKO: Bananas make me vomit.
(Toshiko walks up the stairs. Banana puts his hands in his pockets and walks off to the
left.)
INT. HOTEL – BAR – CONTINUOUS
(Banana Boat enters the bar area, walking up to Mervyn, who is hanging his jacket on the
back of the chair. He turns and looks at the blonde-haired woman in black at the bar. She
looks back at him. Mervyn turns and eyes Banana Boat.)
(Mervyn rubs his hands together and walks up to the woman in black.)
MERVYN: Now, a looker like you must be on the bride's side. I don't think they've
got your sort of style in Rhys’s family.
WOMAN IN BLACK: I like to put on a show.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – HALLWAY / BRIDAL SUITE
(Gwen opens the door and finds Toshiko and the large dress box out in the hallway.)
TOSHIKO: Hi.
GWEN: Hi.
TOSHIKO: Jack sent me over with this.
CUT TO:
(Gwen opens the dress box and finds the wedding dress inside. Toshiko sits in the nearby
chair watching her.)
GWEN: It's beautiful.
TOSHIKO: And, I don't blame you for telling Jack and Owen to stick a postponement.
I think it's wonderful you're getting married, whatever.
GWEN: Tosh, thank you.
TOSHIKO: Very lucky.
GWEN: Yes.
(Gwen looks at Toshiko and sees her looking down, sad.)
GWEN: You know, Tosh, it'll happen for you, one day. There's always Owen. ..
TOSHIKO: I don't think so. 'In sickness and in health, till death do us part'?
That's going to sound like a bad joke, isn't it?
(Toshiko stands up.)
TOSHIKO: Um, I'll let you get on. If you need me, I'll be downstairs. Good luck.
GWEN: Thank you.
(She heads out. Gwen turns back and looks at the dress.)
TOSHIKO: (o.s.) Thanks.
CUT TO:
INT. THE HUB – JACK’S OFFICE
(Jack flips through the booklet with dresses in it. He sees one he likes.)
JACK: No, I like that one. (He turns to Ianto, who is looking over his shoulder.)
Good choice.
IANTO: I estimated Gwen's size from the hub security laser scans. (Jack nods.) As
you know, my dad was a master tailor. He could size a man's inside leg measurement by his
stride across the shop threshold.
JACK: Ah, the family eye. Remind me to test it some time.
IANTO: Well, if ... uh ... later on ...
(Owen bursts into the office.)
OWEN: Jack.
IANTO: Yeah, brilliant, like that one.
OWEN: We've got a problem.
CUT TO:
INT. THE HUB – AUTOPSY AREA
(Owen pulls out a large gland covered in black stickiness from the metal pan. He shows it
to Jack and Ianto.)
OWEN: Look what our friend was hiding.
IANTO: (eww) And that is?
OWEN: A proteus gland. The shape-shifting organ of a Nostrovite.
IANTO: And what is that, exactly?
JACK: Trouble.
(Owen drops the gland back into the pan. It sticks to his fingers.)
JACK: Big trouble.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BAR – DAY
(Mervyn is putting a red corsage on the blonde woman’s black dress.)
MERVYN: No good-looking woman should be at a wedding without a flower.
(He accidentally sticks her with the pin.)
WOMAN IN BLACK: Ouch!
MERVYN: Oh. Bugger. Sorry.
(The woman dabs at the cut with her bar napkin.)
MERVYN: Can I get you another drink?
WOMAN IN BLACK: Actually, do you feel like getting a bite?
(She smiles at him. He smiles as she takes him by the hand and leads him out of the bar.)
(Toshiko watches them leave. She gets up and goes to the bar with her empty glass.)
TOSHIKO: (to the bartender) Another spritzer, please.
(As she waits for her refill, she looks down at the bar napkin. It’s spotted with
black blood.)
(She rushes out of the bar.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Gwen is sitting cross-legged on the bed. There’s a knock at the door.)
(She opens the door and finds her two bridesmaids, Trina and Carrie, there.)
GWEN: (smiles) Hey, oh.
(Trina pushes the door open to get a good look at Gwen’s pregnant belly. She gasps.)
GIRLFRIEND: (o.s.) My God! It's true!
(Gwen whistles. There’s no hiding it now.)
GIRLFRIEND: (o.s.) But how?
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM – DAY
(Mervyn is on the bed. The Woman in Black is on Mervyn. They’re laughing. The Woman
in Black pushes Mervyn roughly backward on the bed. She rips his shirt open, pushes it up
and works on undoing his belt.)
MERVYN: Steady on, girl. I'm on stage later.
(The Woman in Black puts her head down.)
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. HOTEL – HALLWAY OUTSIDE MERVYN’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
(Toshiko makes her way down the hallway. She pauses by one of the room doors and listens.
At the other end of the hallway, Banana Boat sees her.)
BANANA BOAT: Hey, baby, if you're looking for my room, you just passed it, mind.
TOSHIKO: (quietly) I'm not. And don't call me "baby."
(She walks past him. He turns and follows her.)
BANANA BOAT: So what shall I call you, then? "Beautiful"?
(She quickly turns, grabs his arm, twists it behind him as she slams him up against the
wall. He grunts.)
TOSHIKO: (irritated) Don't call me anything. Don't say anything.
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM – DAY
(Mervyn is lying back on the bed with a huge smile on his face as the Woman in Black is
all over him.)
(She snarls and reaches a monstrous-clawed hand up toward his mouth. CRUNCH. She bites
down hard on him. Bones crunch. Mervyn screams.)
(She continues to bite down on him.)
INT. HOTEL – HALLWAY OUTSIDE MERVYN’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
(Toshiko hears the screams. She lets Banana Boat go and takes out her gun. She cocks it
and backs away from him toward Mervyn’s room.)
(Banana Boat raises his hands.)
TOSHIKO: Don't move!
(He turns to face the wall as Toshiko turns the corner.)
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM – DAY
(The Woman in Black is applying fresh lipstick. Toshiko kicks the door in, her gun up and
pointed at the Woman in Black. She sees there’s a lot of blood on the bed.)
TOSHIKO: What have you done with him?
(She takes a couple of steps into the room and sees the remains of the body on the other
side of the bed.)
(Banana Boat enters the room behind Toshiko.)
BANANA BOAT: What the hell is going on?
(She turns around, distracted. The Woman in Black gets up and punches Toshiko in the face,
knocking her down. She grabs Banana Boat’s neck and pushes him up against the open
door.)
WOMAN IN BLACK (NOSTROVITE): You're lucky, I'm watching my figure. But maybe I'll
keep you for tea.
(She pulls him into the room.)
INT. HUB – JACK’S OFFICE
(Jack walks into his office. Ianto and Owen follow.)
JACK: A Nostrovite is a shape-shifting carnivore with a taste for human flesh. It's
intelligent and sneaky and ... dammit, I should have seen this before.
(Ianto opens the desk drawer and takes out Jack’s holster and gun.)
OWEN: That's it with shape-shifters, innit? You never know what you're looking at.
IANTO: What's the big deal? It's dead.
OWEN: Yeah. This one is.
IANTO: Oh, does there have to be more?
(Owen takes his lab coat off.)
OWEN: Nostrovites mate for life. You know, like swans and penguins.
(Ianto helps Jack with his jacket.)
JACK: Yeah, except you don't find Nostrovites on greetings cards.
OWEN: Right, and then the male Nostrovite carries the fertilized eggs in a sac in
its mouth and passes it on to a host with a bite.
(Jack heads for the door.)
JACK: Gwen.
IANTO: And where does the mother come in?
OWEN: Well, she tracks down the host, and rips it open.
JACK: That's Nostrovite childbirth. And momma's out there right now, looking for
Gwen. Come on.
(Jack, Ianto and Owen head out.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – LOBBY – DAY
(Gwen crosses the lobby floor just as the Woman in Black, the female Nostrovite, comes
down the main stairs. We hear the sounds of a heartbeat.)
(Gwen heads up the stairs. As she approaches the Woman in Black, she gasps and doubles
over.)
GWEN: Oh!
WOMAN IN BLACK: Are you all right?
GWEN: Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just a twinge.
WOMAN IN BLACK: He'll be flexing his muscles. Not long to go now.
(Gwen continues up the stairs. The Woman in Black watches her go.)
CUT TO:
EXT. MILLENNIUM CENTRE – WATER TOWER – DAY
(Jack stands in front of the water tower, probably on the chameleon block and waits as the
Torchwood SUV drives up to him.)
(Owen comes running with a backpack just as Ianto pulls up in front of Jack. Jack steps
down and opens the door.)
JACK: Tosh isn't responding.
OWEN: Then let's get going.
(Owen opens the back door.)
JACK: Sure you're ready for this, Owen? You know what a Nostrovite can do -- you
think you got it covered a hundred feet away, and it's already chewing on your liver.
OWEN: (checks a syringe) I don't need my liver. You need me, Jack.
(Owen opens his backpack and Jack sees the singularity scalpel inside.)
JACK: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! The singularity scalpel? Where are you going with that?
(Owen zips up his backpack.)
OWEN: Right. We need to get to Gwen before the Nostrovite does. We might not have a
chance to get back to the hub and the microtron weighs about two tons.
IANTO: Uh, that thing kills people.
OWEN: I saved Martha with it.
JACK: Lucky shot.
OWEN: Listen, you two, you'd better start trusting me, okay? I've been working on
it, and I reckon I've got it sussed. Besides, with that Nostrovite around, we really don't
have too many options.
IANTO: He's got a point.
JACK: (to Ianto) What is it with you? Ever since Owen died, all you ever do is
agree with him.
(Jack and Owen get into the SUV.)
IANTO: I was brought up never to speak ill of the dead, even if they still do most
of the talking for themselves.
JACK: Okay, Owen. But you better be sure you know what you're doing.
(The SUV drives away.)
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL GROUNDS – DAY
(Lovely day. Beautiful gardens.)
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL -- DAY
TRINA: Camouflage dressing? I'm having her dressmaker's number. No way did Gwen
look pregnant last night.
(The two bridesmaids walk down the aisle as they leave the ballroom.)
CARRIE: Oh, we must have had way too much to drink.
TRINA: She was late, wasn't she?
CARRIE: Hmm.
TRINA: We must have been out of our heads by the time she showed up.
CARRIE: Oh, must have been, not to notice she was pregnant. Great night, or what?
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE -- DAY
(Mary Cooper adjusts the hem of Gwen’s gown. She stands up and looks at Gwen’s
reflection in the mirror.)
MARY COOPER: You look like an angel.
(Gwen turns and looks at her mum.)
GWEN: Mum, I'm so sorry about this.
MARY COOPER: Gwen, it's a baby. It's God's blessing. (She hugs Gwen.) You will be a
good wife, and a wonderful mother. And me and your dad, we'll always be there for you, and
for our grandchild. (She gives Gwen an air kiss. Mwah.) I'll see you downstairs. I love
you.
(She turns to leave.)
GWEN: Mum?
MARY COOPER: (turns around) Hmm?
GWEN: (whispers emotionally) I love you, too.
(Mary smiles at her. She turns toward the bathroom door as Gwen turns to look at her
sideways reflection in the mirror.)
MARY COOPER: Hurry up, Geraint. And make sure you don't leave a wet patch!
(Mary leaves.)
(The toilet flushes and the bathroom door opens. The basin water runs. Gwen runs her hands
over her large belly as she continues to stare forlornly at her reflection. She starts
crying.)
(Geraint steps out of the bathroom and looks at Gwen.)
GERAINT: Gwen? What is it?
GWEN: I can't do this. I can’t. (She turns around and looks at her dad.) I
can't lie to you and Mum, Dad. Dad, this baby isn't Rhys’s.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL GROUNDS – DAY
(Rhys is outside dialing on his cell phone. He’s dressed for the wedding when his
father, Barry, walks up to him.)
BARRY WILLIAMS: There's still no sign of Banana Boat!
RHYS: He'll be fine, Dad.
BARRY WILLIAMS: Listen, Rhys. Your mother says this wedding is becoming a
nightmare. As if Gwen showing up pregnant wasn't bad enough. Now you are sure it's yours,
aren't you?
RHYS: Dad! I'm marrying her! I love Gwen. Every atom of me loves Gwen, has done
since the first time I laid eyes on her, okay?
BARRY WILLIAMS: You loved Cerys Morgan once.
RHYS: I was twelve years old!
BARRY WILLIAMS: Still no Banana Boat.
(Rhys shakes his head.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM -- DAY
(Toshiko stirs. Squishy sounds ensue with every movement she makes. She groans and it
looks as if she’s fused to Banana Boat; his head is on her shoulder.)
TOSHIKO: Get away from me.
(Banana Boat is awake and he’s just as stuck to her as she’s stuck to him.
They’re both wrapped tightly in black stuff.)
BANANA BOAT: Well, I wish I could, love.
(Toshiko struggles and looks around.)
BANANA BOAT: Don't bother, I've tried. We're stuck fast.
(The thick black stuff is wrapped tightly around them, over the bed and to the bedposts.)
TOSHIKO: I can't believe it. Can you at least move your hand?
(beat)
TOSHIKO: Away!
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Gwen talks with her father.)
GERAINT COOPER: If there's another man, if you don't want to go through with the
wedding, it's-it’s all right. We'll sort things out.
GWEN: There isn't another man.
GERAINT COOPER: But you said.
GWEN: Please listen. (She takes his hand.) Cardiff is in the middle of a space-time
rift.
GERAINT COOPER: A what?
GWEN: I work for an organization that controls what comes through it.
GERAINT COOPER: Comes from where?
GWEN: Other planets. Other dimensions. (kneels in front of him) Aliens, Dad. I'm
talking about aliens. That's what I do, Torchwood. We're called Torchwood. We hunt down
aliens that come through the rift.
(She nods at him, waiting for a reaction.)
GERAINT COOPER: (gasps) Oh, my God.
(She shows him her bandaged arm.)
GWEN: Look, one bit me last night, don't ask me to explain, I can't. I'm pregnant.
Rhys isn't the father. It's an alien.
(She points to her belly.)
GWEN: It's an alien.
(He looks at Gwen.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL -- DAY
(Children are laughing and running around. Geraint heads back to join Mary, who is talking
with a man.)
GERAINT COOPER: Hi.
(The man excuses himself. Mary turns to look at Geraint.)
GERAINT COOPER: Poor girl, this wedding's got her stressed to pieces. Thinks that
baby of hers is an alien from outer space.
MARY COOPER: What?
GERAINT COOPER: It'll be all right. Once we get through today.
(Brenda walks up join them.)
BRENDA WILLIAMS: Gwen seems to be taking her time.
MARY COOPER: You remember how it is, Brenda. The bride likes to make an entrance.
BRENDA WILLIAMS: Maybe, but I wasn't late for my wedding.
MARY COOPER: No. Barry might have got away.
(Mary walks away. Geraint discretely turns and leaves.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM – DAY
(Banana Boat and Toshiko are still stuck together on the bed.)
BANANA BOAT: If it comes back, it's going to kill us, innit?
TOSHIKO: Calm down. I've got friends. They'll find us.
BANANA BOAT: Yeah, but what if they don't? What if it comes back? I mean, we're
it's bloody pack lunch, in't we? (shouts) Help! Help!
TOSHIKO: Shut up!
BANANA BOAT: (ignores her) Help! Someone help!
TOSHIKO: If it hears you screaming, it'll come and shut you up ... permanently!
BANANA BOAT: (shouts) Help! Someone! Help.
(Toshiko grabs him.)
(crunch)
BANANA BOAT: Oh-ohh!
TOSHIKO: That's enough, unless you want to start singing in falsetto.
BANANA BOAT: Ah. Ow! That really hurt.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE – DAY
(The organ music plays, "Here Comes the Bride.")
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL -- DAY
(The audience stands up. The Woman in Black is seated in the audience. She turns and
watches as Geraint and Gwen walk down the aisle.)
(As Gwen passes by her, a heartbeat sound gets louder and louder.)
(The audience gasps as they realize that Gwen is very, very pregnant.)
(Brenda gets a good look at Gwen’s belly and gasps. Mary smiles smugly.)
(Geraint and Gwen reach the front with Rhys. Geraint stops and lifts her veil and kisses
her on the cheek before taking his seat next to Mary.)
(Gwen and Rhys smile at each other. The audience sits. Gwen and Rhys hold hands.)
REGISTRAR: Friends and family of Rhys and Gwen, we're here today to celebrate the
marriage of two people, ...
(The heartbeat grows louder and louder as we hold on the Woman in Black.)
REGISTRAR: ... a ceremony binding in law ...
CUT TO:
INT. TORCHWOOD SUV (MOVING) – DAY
(Owen sits in the back seat as he fiddles with the singularity scalpel.)
OWEN: How much further?
IANTO: A few minutes.
JACK: What I don’t understand is, if people are going to make such a big deal
about getting married, why come all the way out into the middle of nowhere, where no one
can find you, to do it? That, to me, suggests inner conflict.
IANTO: It's because the happy couple want everything to be perfect.
OWEN: An alien egg in your belly and its mother coming to rip you open. Yeah,
perfect ...
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL -- DAY
(The ceremony continues.)
REGISTRAR: Rhys and Gwen have chosen to solemnize their commitment before you ...
(Pause on the Woman in Black. Heartbeat sounds grow louder and louder.)
REGISTRAR: But first the law requires me to ask of you all, if there is anyone here
...
(The heartbeat sounds quicken.)
REGISTRAR: ... who knows of any reason why these two may not marry?
(pause)
JACK: (o.s.) STOP!!
(The door at the back of the room bursts open. The audience gasps and turns around. Gwen
turns around. Rhys turns around.)
JACK: STOP IT!
(Jack runs into the chapel.)
JACK: STOP THE WEDDING!
(Jack runs up the aisle toward Gwen and Rhys.)
JACK: Hold on!
GWEN: Jack?
JACK: Gwen, believe me, I'm sorry. But this has to stop now.
BRENDA: (stands up) I just knew that baby wasn't Rhys's!
RHYS: (whispers) What the hell are you doing here?
GWEN: Jack, I’ve told you, I am marrying Rhys!
JACK: Not now. You can't.
RHYS: Butt out, Jack! You've screwed things up enough between me and Gwen. You are
not going to mess up our wedding!
JACK: Listen, I am trying to save Gwen's life. Yours, too.
GWEN: What's going on, Jack?
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – HALLWAY / MERVYN’S ROOM – DAY
(Owen rushes down the hallway, his gun up. He cocks it and reaches the corner. Something
beeps. He turns and checks around the corner. It’s clear.)
IANTO: Shh. I've got a fix on Tosh's comms.
(Ianto is in front of him with the scanner. They start toward Mervyn’s room. The
scanner beeps.)
(Ianto kicks the door in, his gun out as he steps into the room. Owen is right behind
him.)
(They find Toshiko and Banana Boat tied together on the bed. Owen heads toward them.)
OWEN: Tosh! Are you okay?
TOSHIKO: Just get me out of here!
(Ianto checks out the rest of the room.)
BANANA BOAT: All right, mate? I'm Banana.
TOSHIKO: More like a gooseberry.
IANTO: (o.s.) Owen.
(Owen sees the dead remains on the floor on the other side of the bed.)
OWEN: Oh, Jesus. That's disgusting.
(Owen and Ianto swap places. Owen goes to check out the remains while Ianto tries to free
Toshiko.)
IANTO: I’ll get you out of here.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(The door opens. Gwen, Rhys and Jack walk in.)
GWEN: There were two of them?
JACK: Ma and Pa Nostrovite. They hunt in pairs. But childbirth is more of a ...
three-way. He finds and impregnates a host. She then comes in like the midwife from hell,
hanging around, watching, waiting, until the time is right. Then it gets messy.
(Rhys closes the door.)
RHYS: So you think it's near?
JACK: She's a shape-shifter, Rhys. She could be out there making small talk with
your mom and dad.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL – GARDENS – DAY
(Trina and Carrie have a drink and walk through the gardens.)
TRINA: You reckon it's all over, then?
CARRIE: Some good-looking guy sweeps up the aisle and tells you to hold off on the
confetti. What are you going to do, marry Rhys?
TRINA: So the baby's his, is it?
CARRIE: Didn't you see the look on her face when he showed up?
TRINA: (nods) Mmm.
(Carrie finishes her drink.)
CARRIE: Anyway, I'd better go and find Mervyn. Tell him not to bother getting
George Michael out the back of the van.
(Carrie heads for the hotel. As she walks, she passes The Woman in Black, standing on the
edge of the garden, waiting and watching the hotel.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Gwen is sitting on the bed as she talks with Jack. Rhys listens nearby.)
GWEN: We're not stopping the wedding.
JACK: Gwen, there isn't a choice here.
GWEN: Ever since I've met you, Jack, all Rhys has had to put up with, with me, is
crap. The lies. The danger. The complications. But he's stood by me. Who else would do
that? (She stands up.) Who else would marry me knowing that I am carrying some kind of
monster inside me? I love him, and I'm going to marry him, today.
RHYS: Thanks. But it is my wedding, too. Don't I get a say?
(Before Jack can answer, a woman screams.)
(Jack runs out of the room.)
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
(Carrie is screaming at the sight of Mervyn’s bloody remains on the floor.)
OWEN: That's all we need.
(Owen hurries over to the remains and removes his backpack as he kneels down next to it.
Carrie continues screaming.)
(She turns and runs out of the hotel room as Ianto and Toshiko watch. Jack runs into the
hotel room through the open door.)
JACK: Ianto, after the girl. I need this contained.
(Rhys and Gwen enter the room as Ianto tries to get out.)
OWEN: Jack!
(Rhys sees the remains and panics.)
RHYS: Oh, God! I want Gwen out of here now, Jack!
TOSHIKO: Jack, I've seen the shape-shifter. It's a woman. She's in black.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL – DAY
(The Woman in Black calmly walks down the aisle.)
(Brenda turns to talk with Mary.)
BRENDA WILLIAMS: Do you know what's going on?
MARY COOPER: I'm in the dark, too, Brenda.
BRENDA WILLIAMS: The problem seems to be an American with no sense of timing or
fashion. And your daughter!
(Carrie screams as she runs in to the chapel entrance. Ianto runs in after her)
CARRIE: Call the police! Mervyn's been murdered!
IANTO: (to comm) Jack, I'm afraid the situation is uncontained.
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. HOTEL – MERVYN’S ROOM -- DAY
JACK: (to comm) Okay, Ianto, get to the SUV, jam the phone lines. The last thing we
need is someone calling the police. (to Toshiko) Tosh, you're with me. We'll find that
woman in black. Gwen, Owen needs to operate, now.
RHYS: I want Gwen safe Jack, now!
JACK: I want her safe, too, Rhys. So we do what I say!
GWEN: Rhys, Jack knows what he's doing, darling, okay?
JACK: Look, if we run, the Nostrovite will be waiting for us. And we're running out
of time.
GWEN: What's the plan, Jack?
(Owen holds up his backpack.)
OWEN: I've got an idea.
RHYS: Then I'm staying here, okay?
JACK: Fine! Tosh, with me.
(Jack and Toshiko rush out of the hotel room.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL – DAY
(Barry gets a busy signal on his cell phone.)
BARRY WILLIAMS: What the hell's going on here?
(Geraint also has no success with his phone.)
GERAINT COOPER: I had a signal before.
(The wedding guests wait. The Woman in Black is seated back in her chair.)
JACK: (shouts, o.s.) Move!
(Jack and Toshiko run into the room.)
JACK: (loudly) I need everyone to stay calm and do exactly as I tell you.
BARRY WILLIAMS: And who the hell are you?
JACK: Torchwood.
GERAINT COOPER: Gwen's Torchwood? You mean you're real?!
(Toshiko looks around the audience and finds the Woman in Black. Toshiko’s gun is
out.)
TOSHIKO: Jack! There she is!
JACK: (shouts) Everybody down!
(Jack cocks and raises his gun. The female Nostrovite stands and turns – her eyes red
and sharp teeth bared. Everyone screams and runs to get out of the way.)
(Jack and Toshiko fire.)
(The female Nostrovite turns and jumps out through the window, shattering the glass and
landing outside on the gravel.)
(She runs out into the gardens.)
(Jack jumps out of the window and chases after her. Toshiko follows.)
(Geraint and Mary Cooper slowly get up.)
GERAINT COOPER: My God ...!
EXT. HOTEL – GARDENS – DAY – CONTINUOUS
(Jack and Toshiko run out through the other end of the gardens. They’ve lost sight of
her.)
JACK: Damn, that thing's fast!
TOSHIKO: But it won't have gone far.
JACK: Not without what it came for. Come on.
(They turn and head back.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Owen takes the singularity scalpel out of his backpack and starts fiddling with it as
Gwen freaks.)
GWEN: That? The singularity scalpel? That is your 'idea'?
OWEN: Gwen, it's cool. Believe me, okay? I've done a lot of work on it since the
whole mayfly business.
RHYS: What is it?
GWEN: Alien medical apparatus ... so Owen thinks.
(The machine hums.)
RHYS: Thinks?
(There’s a knock at the door. Owen moves quickly, standing up and taking his gun out.
He points it a the door.)
BRENDA: (through door) Rhys?
GWEN: That's his mother. That's Rhys's mother.
BRENDA: (through door) Rhys, are you in there, Rhys?
(Gwen picks up her bouquet and stands in front of the bed. Rhys goes to answer the door
and Owen puts his gun away. He nods to Rhys. Everyone looks clam.)
OWEN: Okay.
(Rhys opens the door and lets Brenda in.)
RHYS: Hiya.
BRENDA: There's ... there's a monster, Rhys. That American and the Japanese girl, they
went after it.
(Owen heads out.)
OWEN: (to Rhys and Gwen) Stay here.
(Rhys closes the door. Brenda turns and looks at Gwen.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
(Owen takes his gun out and starts through the hallway.)
OWEN: (to comm) Jack, everything okay?
INTERCUT WITH:
EXT. HOTEL – GARDENS -- DAY
(Jack and Toshiko are headed back to the building.)
JACK: (to comm) It got away Owen. How's the patient?
OWEN: (from comm) Rhys and his mum are with her.
(Toshiko looks around and sees Rhys’s mum talking with Mary.)
TOSHIKO: Jack! (Jack turns around.) That's Rhys's mum, there!
JACK: Come on.
(Jack and Toshiko hurry.)
(Owen turns around and heads back to the bridal suite.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Gwen talks with Brenda as Rhys paces behind them.)
GWEN: This isn't Rhys's baby, Brenda. It's an alien.
(She moves her bouquet aside to indicate her belly.)
(The door bursts open. Jack, Owen, Toshiko and Ianto step into the room with their guns on
Brenda.)
JACK: Get back, you ugly bitch!
RHYS: What the hell do you think you're doing? That's my mother!
JACK: No. It's the alien.
BRENDA WILLIAMS: I'm not an alien!
JACK: Oh, you're good, I'll give you that.
BRENDA WILLIAMS: But I'm not!
JACK: Yeah, and the Lone Ranger didn't have a thing with Tonto.
GWEN: Jack, does the shape-shifter copy smell too?
OWEN: No, just physical.
GWEN: Well, I'd recognize that bloody awful perfume anywhere. It's Brenda, Jack.
It’s ... it’s Brenda.
(oops! Jack’s jaw drops. He puts his gun down just as Rhys swings and hits him square
in the jaw.)
JACK: Oh!
RHYS: That's for calling my mother an ugly bitch!
JACK: (nursing his jaw) Ah!
TOSHIKO: If that's Rhys's mum, then who's that outside?
(Right. They turn and run outside.)
JACK: Oh!
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL – GARDENS – DAY
(Ianto, Owen, Toshiko, Jack, Rhys and Gwen run out into the gardens.)
JACK: Move!
(Everyone spreads out.)
OWEN: There she is!
(Jack yells.)
(The Nostrovite shrieks – her eyes turn red, teeth are blackened and sharp. Her hands
turn into monstrous claws. Mary doesn’t notice until the Nostrovite turns and grabs
her by the neck.)
GWEN: Mum!
JACK: Don't shoot.
(Everyone stops. The Nostrovite has Mary in her claws. Gwen stands in the middle with
Rhys, her bouquet clutched to her. Jack and the others have their guns on the Nostrovite.)
GWEN: (quiet) That’s my mum, Jack ...
JACK: Halt!
GWEN: Mum.
NOSTROVITE (AS BRENDA): The bond between mother and child is a wonderful thing.
GWEN: Let her go, okay?
NOSTROVITE (AS BRENDA): Your mother for my child.
JACK: No deal.
NOSTROVITE (AS BRENDA): You don't have a say.
MARY COOPER: Don't listen to it, Gwen.
GWEN: It's okay, Mum, I'll make sure you're safe. It won't kill you, you'll be
okay.
RHYS: You can't do this.
GWEN: It's my Mum, Rhys.
RHYS: Gwen, I can’t ...
GWEN: Jack ...
JACK: Rhys!
(Rhys steps away.)
(Gwen, dressed in her white wedding dress and bouquet clutched in front of her, starts
moving calmly toward the Nostrovite and Mary.)
GWEN: (softly) Okay, Mum ...
MARY: (whimpers) Gwen...
GWEN: ... you're going to be okay. It's okay, Mum.
(Sounds of a heartbeat grow louder and louder as Gwen moves in closer toward the
Nostrovite.)
GWEN: Stay calm, still.
NOSTROVITE (AS BRENDA): Come to Momma!
(The Nostrovite pushes Mary away from her and turns to bare her claws at Gwen.)
(From under her bouquet, Gwen fires her automatic multiple times, hitting the Nostrovite
square in the chest and pushing her backward.)
(The Nostrovite screeches, turns and runs into the building. Owen and Jack run toward the
building to make sure it’s not lingering. Mary goes to Gwen.)
OWEN: That's the kind of daughter every mother must dream of. Cool as ice, packing
an automatic.
GUEST: Oh, my God!
(Mary and Geraint hug Gwen.)
(Jack and Owen head back to Gwen.)
GERAINT: (to Jack) Gwen told me about you, but I didn't believe her.
JACK: It'll be back. Owen, get Gwen ready. I want that thing dealt with now.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – HALLWAY / BRIDAL SUITE -- DAY
(Owen helps Gwen as they head back to the bridal suite. Rhys is behind them.)
OWEN: Listen, Gwen. I'll be with you in a minute. I need to talk to Rhys.
GWEN: What about?
OWEN: Just something of nothing. Trust me.
RHYS: What? What?
(Gwen heads back to the bridal suite as Owen pulls Rhys aside to talk with him. Owen puts
his bag down and unzips it.)
OWEN: Listen, Rhys, the singularity scalpel – thing is, the last time I used
it, I had two good mitts.
(Owen shows Rhys his bandaged hand.)
RHYS: So you’re telling me, you can't operate?
OWEN: What I’m saying is that I know you'd be more happy that whoever had
Gwen's life in their hands could ... well, rely on both of them. Now I thought I could ask
Jack, but ...
RHYS: No, no, no. Um, show me what to do.
(Owen puts the machine in Rhys’s hands.)
OWEN: Right, it kinda works itself. Let’s try this ...
(Owen pulls Rhys aside to show and explain what to do.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Gwen is standing in front of the mirror when the door opens. Jack walks in. He closes the
door behind him.)
GWEN: Hello, Jack. Not quite the blushing bride, am I? (He walks up to her and puts
his hands on her shoulders.) But ... um ... I'd given up on things going to plan a long
time ago.
NOSTROVITE (AS JACK): If life always turned out the way we expected, what would be
the point of living?
(She takes his hand.)
GWEN: I didn't expect to meet someone like you. If I hadn't, I'd be married by now.
NOSTROVITE (AS JACK): You're not the only one who met somebody that knocked their
world out of kilter.
(She turns and looks at him.)
GWEN: Rhys has always been there for me. Through all this madness, even when I
haven't even deserved it. (He touches her lips and moves in close.) He's not afraid to
tell me he loves me.
(He leans in closer toward her.)
(The hand holding her hand, turns into claws.)
(Gwen looks at it. Jack’s eyes are red and teeth are pointed and blackened. He
shrieks.)
(Gwen head-butts the Nostrovite and knocks it backward. She turns and grabs the
candleholder on the table behind her. She swings as the Nostrovite starts toward her.)
(The door opens. Rhys and Owen walk in.)
OWEN: Gwen!
(Rhys picks up a chair and smashes it against the Nostrovite.)
OWEN: Get her out of here!
(Rhys grabs Gwen and they both run out of the room. Owen fires multiple times at the
Nostrovite.)
EXT. HOTEL – GARDENS – DAY
(Rhys and Gwen run across the gardens and away from the main building. They can hear the
gunfire.)
(Rhys helps Gwen down the steps.)
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Owen empties his clip into the Nostrovite. Finally the Nostrovite falls back onto the
bed. It doesn’t move. Owen moves in closer to check on it.)
(Suddenly, the Nostrovite surges up and shrieks at Owen. It moves in very close to him.)
OWEN: Come on, then! Do me a favor!
(The Nostrovite looks at Owen for a long moment, then moves past him and out the room.)
EXT. HOTEL – GARDENS – DAY
(Rhys and Gwen are running down the steps. Gwen gasps. Rhys stops and turns back to help
her.)
RHYS: Hey, you all right?
GWEN: I'm running around in a wedding dress with what feels like a keg of lager
stuck up my skirt. What do YOU think, Rhys?
RHYS: Come on!
(He helps her down the steps.)
INT. HOTEL – BRIDAL SUITE – DAY
(Jack enters the room with his gun out just as Owen changes clips and snaps it into his
gun.)
JACK: Whoa!
(Jack puts his gun down. Owen keeps his gun on Jack. Ianto and Toshiko enter the room.)
JACK: What happened? (Owen pauses.) Put it down, Owen.
OWEN: It thought that I'd gone off.
TOSHIKO: Where's Gwen and Rhys?
OWEN: They've done a runner. Listen, I emptied a clip into that thing, as did Gwen.
But some mother instinct or something’s making that cow unstoppable. Our guns don't
work.
JACK: Then I guess we're going to need a bigger gun.
FLASH CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL – FRONT – DAY
(Jack and Ianto open the back of the SUV. They open two cases filled with big gun parts.
Jack starts putting the big gun together.)
INT. HOTEL – BARN – DAY
(The door opens. Gwen and Rhys enter the barn. Gwen pants loudly. Rhys shuts the door and
braces it closed with a piece of wood.)
(Gwen falls onto the hay.)
GWEN: Rhys, I can't – I can’t go any further!
(The Nostrovite shrieks and pounds on the barn door.
RHYS: It's here! It’s here!
GWEN: Ssh! She’s going to hear us!
RHYS: I don't think there's any point in keeping quiet, Gwen. Okay, lie down.
(She turns over to lie down in the hay. The Nostrovite shrieks. Rhys reaches for the pack
with the singularity scalpel inside. He take sit out.)
GWEN: What the hell are you doing with that?
RHYS: Owen showed me how to use it.
(Gwen screams. Or was that the Nostrovite?)
(The Nostrovite outside pounds on the door.)
GWEN: Just do it! Do it!
(Rhys has the scalpel on and its SEEKING as he makes adjustments.)
GWEN: Do it!
(She falls back. It powers up. The scalpel beeps: LOCKED. He fires.)
GWEN: Rhys!
(And misses, hitting the counter off to the side and behind Gwen. She gasps.)
GWEN: Rhys!
(The Nostrovite outside screams.)
RHYS: All right, all right. I’ve got it. I've got it now.
(He tries again and makes the adjustment.)
GWEN: I love you ... I really love you, okay?
(The scalpel powers up. SEEKING. It beeps.)
(LOCKED. There’s a large egg on the viewscreen.)
(The egg is zapped and disintegrates. Gwen gasps.)
GWEN: Oh!
(There’s a squishy sound and she surges upward.)
RHYS: Gwen! Gwen!
(Gwen falls back onto the hay. She’s not moving and her eyes are open. Rhys leans
over her.)
RHYS: Gwen?!
(She moves. And they kiss. He moves aside and she checks her tummy. It’s flat. The
egg is gone.)
(Outside the Nostrovite screeches and knocks the door open. She’s shape-shifted into
Brenda again.)
NOSTROVITE (AS BRENDA): Get away from her, Rhys! Let me have my young and I won't
hurt you.
(Rhys moves away and grabs a handsaw. He powers it up. The motor revs.)
RHYS: You're too late! It's gone! (He advances toward the Nostrovite.) And I have
had a gutful of you! (angry) You get my girlfriend pregnant, you impersonate my mum and
you ruin my wedding day!
(Rhys raises the handsaw as he readies to strike. It sputters and dies.)
RHYS: Fuck!
NOSTROVITE: Rhys, you're a bad boy. And you know what bad boys get?
(The Nostrovite explodes.)
(Black Nostrovite guts splatter all over Rhys and Gwen. Yuck!)
(Jack is standing in the doorway carrying a big smoking gun.)
JACK: How's that for a shape shift?
(He chuckles and heads toward them.)
GWEN: Jack?
(Jack pauses and looks at Rhys.)
JACK: Hey, that whole "Evil Dead" thing looks pretty good on you, Rhys.
(Rhys pants, speechless. Jack heads over to Gwen and picks her up in his arms.)
JACK: Ah. You okay?
GWEN: Yeah.
(He carries her over to Rhys and puts her down next to him as Rhys watches.)
JACK: And ...
(Jack takes Rhys’s and Gwen’s hands ... and clasps them together.)
JACK: ... the hero always gets the girl.
(Jack heads out. Gwen turns and looks at Rhys.)
GWEN: I am sorry. I've spoilt everything, haven't I? Do you still want to marry me?
FADE IN FROM WHITE
INT. HOTEL – CHAPEL AREA – DAY
(The wedding is in progress.)
GWEN: I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, ahem, ... Gwen ...
(looks at her co-workers) Elizabeth ... Cooper ..
REGISTRAR: Do take thee, Rhys Alun Williams, to be my lawful wedded husband.
(Gwen giggles.)
GWEN: Do take thee, Rhys Alun Williams, to be my lawful wedded husband.
(She puts the ring on his finger.)
GWEN: Come here.
(She grabs him and they kiss. The guests applaud.)
(Gwen turns and looks at them.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL – BALLROOM – NIGHT
(The champagne cork pops. Banana Boat opens the bottle.)
BANANA BOAT: Whoa, hey!
("You Do Something to Me," by Paul Weller is playing.)
(Gwen and Rhys are out on the floor dancing along with other couples.)
(Owen walks up to Toshiko, who is sitting at the table with Jack.)
OWEN: Ah, you ready to see that dead man dance, Tosh? (He holds out his hand.) Come
on.
(He takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor. Jack is sitting alone at the table.)
LYRICS: (song)
You do something to me
Something deep inside
(He watches Rhys and Gwen dance.)
RHYS: Happy, Mrs. Williams?
GWEN: Oh, yes.
LYRICS: (song)
I'm hanging on the wire
For a love I'll never find. ..
(Jack stands up and heads for the dance floor. He puts a hand on Rhys’ shoulder.)
JACK: Mind if I cut in?
RHYS: Why not? I'm danced off my feet. I'm gonna find a beer.
(Rhys leaves Gwen to dance with Jack.)
LYRICS: (song)
Something wonderful
Then chase it all away
Mixing my emotions...
JACK: Enjoy the honeymoon.
GWEN: I will. (He chuckles.) What will you do while I'm gone?
JACK: Ooh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto ... (They both laugh.) ... save the world a
couple of times.
GWEN: Will you miss me?
JACK: Always. Rhys is a lucky man, a perfect husband. He's loyal ... brave ... he's
got a hell of a swing on him! (chuckles) And best of all, he really loves you.
GWEN: I know.
(Ianto interrupts them.)
IANTO: May I ... erm ...? (clears throat) Ahem ...
(Gwen and Jack step apart.)
GWEN: Yes.
(Gwen reaches for Ianto, who turns to face Jack. Gwen smiles, a little embarrassed, but
steps away to leave them to dance.)
LYRICS: (song)
Hanging on the wire, yeah
Said I'm waiting for the change
(Jack and Ianto are dancing. Jack turns and glances over at Gwen, who goes to join Rhys.
Jack goes back to dancing with Ianto.)
LYRICS: (song)
I'm dancing through the fire just to catch a flame
And feel real again...
(Jack and Ianto are dancing on the floor with several other couples. Toshiko and Owen are
standing at the door at the back of the room and aren’t dancing.)
CUT TO:
(The party has quieted down considerably. Everyone is sitting at the tables and not really
moving.)
(Ianto puts a glass of beer down in front of Rhys.)
IANTO: There you go.
RHYS: Cheers, mate.
(Rhys looks at their parents sleeping and slouched on the head table. Mary is leaning on
Brenda and both are sleeping quite peacefully.)
RHYS: You'd never think a couple of hours ago they all nearly got torn apart by
some alien psycho-bitch.
GWEN: It's all been a bit too much for my mum and Brenda.
RHYS: I never thought I'd see that.
("Tainted Love" by Soft Cell plays.)
(Gwen looks around and pretty much notices that everyone has fallen asleep. Feedback
sounds on the microphone as the deejay slumps over the player and falls asleep. The music
stops.)
GWEN: (amused) O-okay, Jack, what's going on?
JACK: Strange thing, when you mix Level Six retcon with champagne -- really makes
the party go with a schwing, then you fall asleep.
GWEN: You retconned our families?
(Jack mock gasps and smiles.)
GWEN: It's probably for the best. I don't want my mum remembering what happened to
her today.
(Rhys stares at Jack.)
(Jack looks at Gwen. He pushes two filled champagne glasses toward them.)
JACK: Maybe the happy couple shouldn't either?
GWEN: No, thank you. There'll be no secrets in this marriage.
(Rhys smiles.)
OWEN: Time for bed, I think.
RHYS: We'll see you after the honeymoon. Stay out of trouble.
(Rhys and Gwen stand up. Everyone gets to their feet. Gwen goes around the table and
kisses everyone. She kisses Owen. She kisses Ianto.)
GWEN: (to Ianto) Thank you for the dress. It was beautiful.
IANTO: Take care.
GWEN: Bye-bye.
(Jack waves them good-bye. Gwen and Rhys leave.)
(Toshiko sighs.)
TOSHIKO: Something tells me our bedtime is a long way off.
JACK: That's right, guys, it's been a busy day, but we are not finished yet. We've
got a lot to do. We've got a major mop-up operation. And I want your best work. Remember,
it's Gwen's wedding.
(Everyone moves out to get to work.)
IANTO: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day you're chasing the scum of the
universe. Come midnight, you're the Wedding Fairy.
CUT TO:
EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) – EARLY MORNING
INT. HUB
(Jack waits as the hub doors open. The alarm sounds. Jack enters the hub.)
(He sighs and pauses inside the doorway. He pulls out his hand from his pocket and blows
out a palm full of confetti. He watches the pieces of paper flutter to the floor and he
smiles.)
(Jack takes his jacket off as he bounds up the stairs, heading for his office.)
INT. HUB – JACK’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
(Jack opens the bottom desk drawer and pulls out a rusty old tin box.)
(He puts it on the desk and opens it. He chuckles as he looks through some very old photos
of himself in different previous lifetimes.)
(He takes out a folded piece of paper, opens it and turns very serious as he looks at an
old wedding photo. His wedding.)
(He pauses and remembers.)
FADE TO:
[TITLE LOGO]
INSERT: PREVIEW FOR NEXT EPISODE
ROLL END CREDITS
FADE TO BLACK.
==========================
END OF EPISODE
==========================
Transcript by intrepid
Beta: DianeM
Contact the Transcriptionist at intrepidly002@yahoo.com
As a courtesy, do not archive this transcript without written permission from the Transcriptionist.
==========================
TITLE/OPENING CREDITS
==========================
TORCHWOOD
2X09: SOMETHING BORROWED
ORIGINAL AIR DATE IN UK: 03/05/2008
TRANSCRIBED FROM UK (DL)
Starring:
JOHN BARROWMAN as Captain Jack Harkness
EVE MYLES as Gwen Cooper
BURN GORMAN as Owen Harper
NAOKO MORI as Toshiko Sato
GARETH DAVID-LLOYD as Ianto Jones
Created by: RUSSELL T DAVIES
Producer: RICHARD STOKES
Written by: PHIL FORD
Directed by: ASHLEY WAY
==========================
END CREDITS
==========================
CAST & CREW
JOHN BARROWMAN as Captain Jack Harkness
EVE MYLES as Gwen Cooper
BURN GORMAN as Owen Harper
NAOKO MORI as Toshiko Sato
GARETH DAVID-LLOYD as Ianto Jones
KAI OWEN as Rhys Williams
NERYS HUGHES as Brenda (Williams)
SHARON MORGAN as Mary (Cooper)
WILLIAM THOMAS as Geraint (Cooper)
ROBIN GRIFFITH as Barry (Williams)
COLLETTE BROWN as Carrie (Girlfriend)
DANIELLE HENRY as Megan
CERI ANN GREGORY as Trina (Girlfriend)
JONATHAN LEWIS OWEN as Banana Boat
MORGAN HOPKINS as Mervyn
VALERIE MURRAY as Registrar
PETHROW GOODEN as Shop Assistant
Co-Producer: CHRIS CHIBNALL
1st Assistant Director: RHIDIAN EVANS
2nd Assistant Director: JAMES DeHAVILAND
Location Manager: NICKY JAMES
Production Manager: STEFFAN MORRIS
Production Co-ordinator: CLAIRE THOMAS
Continuity: LLINOS WYN JONES
Script Editor: GARY RUSSELL
Camera Operator: MARTIN STEPHENS
Gaffer: DAVE FOWLER
Grip: ALLAN HUGHES
Boom Operator: MARTIN STEPHENS
Supervising Art Director: KEITH DUNNE
Standby Art Director: NICK BURNELL
Props Master: STUART WOODDISSE
Set Decorator: ADRIAN ANSCOMBE
Construction Manager: MATTHEW HYWEL-DAVIES
Graphics: BBC WALES GRAPHIC DESIGN
Costume Supervisor: BOBBIE PEACH
Make-up Supervisor: CLAIRE PRITCHARD JONES
Stunt Co-ordinator: TOM LUCY
Casting Associate: ANDY BRIERLEY
Post Production Supervisors: HELEN VALLIS / CHRIS BLATCHFORD
Post Production Co-ordinator: MARIE BROWN
Colourist: MICK VINCENT
Online Editor: MARK BRIGHT
Dubbing Mixer: PETER JEFFREYS
Supervising Sound Editor: DOUG SINCLAIR
Sound FX Editor: HOWARD EAVES
Casting Director: ANDY PRYOR CDG
Production Accountatn: CERI TOTHILL
Sound Recordist: JEFF MATTHEWS
Series Designer: JULIAN LUXTON
Costume Designer: RAY HOLMAN
Make-up Designer: MARIE DORIS
Composers: MURRAY GOLD (theme)
Composers: BEN FOSTER (incidental)
Prosthetics: MILLENNIUM EFFECTS
Visual Effects: THE MILL
Visual Effects Producer: MARIE JONES
Vis Effects Supervisor: BARNEY CURNOW
Special Effects: ANY EFFECTS
Editor: RICHARD COX
Production Designer: EDWARD THOMAS
Director of Photography: MARK WATERS
Production Executive: JULIE SCOTT
Associate Producer: CATRIN LEWIS DEFIS
Executive Producer: RUSSELL T DAVIS
Executive Producer: JULIE GARDNER
Music: MURRAY GOLD (theme)
Music: BEN FOSTER (incidental)
Visual Effects: THE MILL
Visual Effects Producer: MARIE JONES
Visual Effects Supervisor: BARNEY CURNOW
Special Effects: ANY EFFECTS
Editor: RICHARD COX
Production Designer: EDWARD THOMAS
Director of Photography: MARK WATERS
Production Executive: JULIE SCOTT
Associate Producer: CATRIN LEWIS DEFIS
Executive Producer: RUSSELL T DAVIS
Executive Producer: JULIE GARDNER
A BBC Wales Production
bbc.co.uk/torchwood
(c) BBC MMVIII
Dated:06/09/2008~lky
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