Doctor Who and Related Transcripts
Torchwood transcripts - series 2
Episode 1: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Go here for the main Torchwood page.
TORCHWOOD
2X01: KISS KISS, BANG BANG
ORIGINAL AIR DATE IN UK: 01/16/2008
TRANSCRIBED FROM UK (DL)
Written by: CHRIS CHIBNALL
Directed by: ASHLEY WAY
Transcript by Intrepid
As a courtesy, do not archive this transcript without written permission from the Transcriptionist.
==========================
DISCLAIMER:
==========================
"TORCHWOOD" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and (c) by Russell T
Davies, Julie Gardner, BBC Wales Production in association with the Canadian Broadcasting
Corporation, All Rights Reserved. For Fair Use, for entertainment and for educational
purposes only. This transcript was made without their permission, approval, authorization
or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of this material in any form
is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.
CONDITION OF USE: (1) Credit; (2) Do not alter the content of this file. Leave the
headers/disclaimers intact because it lists all those who have made this transcript
possible for your enjoyment. (3) Provide a link back to the Transcriptionist.
Contact the Transcriptionist at intrepidly002@yahoo.com
==========================
SUMMARY: Jack returns and the team has been doing fine without him. He has
some hurt feelings to sooth over, but doesn’t have much time when a fellow Time
Agent, John Hart appears. He’s a mercenary and isn’t afraid of using the
Torchwood team to get what he wants – three cluster bomb canisters hidden away
somewhere in the city.
==========================
TORCHWOOD
2X01: KISS KISS, BANG BANG
==========================
FADE IN:
EXT. STREET -- NIGHT
(It’s night. The streets are damp, but it’s not raining. It’s very quiet.
We hold on above intersection with a traffic light and crosswalk. There are no cars on the
streets. All is peaceful and quiet.)
(An old lady with a cane slowly walks up to the crosswalk. She presses the signal button.
WAIT.)
(The light turns red. She steps up to the curb when the sounds of a car engine approach.
She looks up and sees a red convertible, with top down, speeding toward the crosswalk.
With rap music blaring and tires screeching, it stops at the line.)
(The driver turns. It’ a biped with a red fish head. He looks at her. She looks at
him)
(The light changes from red to walk.)
(The blowfish looks at her, growls and motions her across the road. The old woman crosses
the road. The blowfish waits for her. She reaches the other side and the traffic light
turns green.)
(The red convertible speeds away as the old woman watches. Its taillights disappear in the
distance. All is silent again.)
(beat)
(The old woman turns as the black TORCHWOOD SUV approaches. It stops in front of her.)
(Gwen rolls down the window)
GWEN: (politely) Excuse me, have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car?
(The old woman points toward the road.)
GWEN: Thank you.
(And the TORCHWOOD SUV takes off as the old woman watches. Its taillights disappear in the
distance. All is silent again.)
(beat)
OLD WOMAN: Bloody Torchwood.
CUT TO:
INT. SUV (MOVING) -- NIGHT
(Toshiko sits in the back seat and has skeletal scans and DNA typing on the computer.
Ianto sits next to her and puts bullets in his gun magazine.)
TOSHIKO: Species not on record. DNA-type says some sort of land fish.
(Gwen is in the passenger seat as Owen drives.)
GWEN: All I'm saying is, you are speeding - and there are children.
OWEN: (dryly) Well, if kids are out at midnight, they've got it coming.
TOSHIKO: Detecting high levels of algae.
GWEN: (amused) Who's afraid of the big scary fish, then?
OWEN: Big fish ... with a gun!
IANTO: Special weapons?
TOSHIKO: Not that I can see.
(The gun clicks as Ianto pulls the slider back and puts a bullet in the chamber.)
IANTO: Do we need special weapons?
OWEN: What are we gonna do when we catch it?
TOSHIKO: Jack would know.
OWEN: Well, Jack's not here, is he? Jack's disappeared. Fat lot of good Jack is.
(Everyone is suddenly very somber.)
GWEN: Blowfish!
(She points to the red taillights in front of them. Owen steps on the gas.)
OWEN: Hold on!
VARIOUS CUTS: With tires screeching, the Torchwood SUV catches up with the red
convertible.
(Owen reaches for his seat belt with one hand while the other is on the wheel.)
OWEN: (to Gwen) Hold the wheel.
GWEN: (warns) Don't you dare, Owen!
OWEN: (shouts) Hold the wheel!
(He releases his seat belt and relinquishes the steering wheel to Gwen.)
GWEN: Right, got it.
(The SUV tires screech as she drives from the passenger seat. Owen sits up out the window.
He aims and fires at the convertible. The first shot misses, the second shot ricochets off
the metal. The third shot takes the tire out. The car exhaust flares and veers around the
corner.)
(Owen sits back down in the driver’s seat. Gwen gives him a look. Owen smugly blows
on the tip of his smoking gun.)
EXT. STREET – NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS
(It’s raining. The Torchwood SUV turns the corner and stops at the red convertible.
They get out of the SUV and approach the convertible with their guns out only to find it
empty.)
GWEN: Where is it? Where's it gone?
(They look around the houses. Two gunshots sound from a nearby house.)
OWEN: Go! Go! Go!
(They run for the house.)
INT. RESIDENCE – NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS
(Owen enters first.)
OWEN: Gwen, go left! Tosh go right! Ianto take center! Positions!
(The blowfish stands at the back of the room holding a gun on the daughter of the house.
Gwen gets the mother aside to safety. The father is on the ground, choking, from the
gunshot wounds. Owen takes his jacket off to stop the bleeding. Ianto and Toshiko keep
their guns on the blowfish. Toshiko also reads her hand-held scanner.)
TOSHIKO: Massive levels of adrenalin mixed with approximately three grams of
cocaine. This fish is wired.
BLOWFISH: So this is Team Torchwood. The teacher's pets, but teacher's gone, hasn't
he? Leaving the kiddy-kids all alone. And look at you, trying so hard to be all grown up.
ON OWEN
BLOWFISH: The Doctor, with his hands full of blood.
ON GWEN
BLOWFISH: The Carer with her oh-so-beating heart.
ON TOSHIKO
BLOWFISH: The Technician, with her cold devices.
ON IANTO
BLOWFISH: Which leaves me, with the Office Boy, promoted beyond his measure. All of
you ... lost without your master. All of you ... pretending to be so brave. All of you, so
scared.
(The blowfish laughs at them. He turns and kisses the teenaged girl on her cheek,
breathing her in.)
BLOWFISH: (to Ianto) So, what about it, minion? Can you do it? How good are you?
How sharp is your aim? What if you kill her? (taunts) What if I kill her first? Can you
shoot, before I do? Can you? Dare you? Would you? Won't you?
BANG!
(A bullet fires. It hits the blowfish dead center of his forehead and takes out a chunk of
the back of his head, splattering blood and fish brains on the curtains behind him.)
BLOWFISH: aah ...
THUD!
(The blowfish falls to the floor. Dead.)
(The mother pushes Gwen aside to go to her daughter. Ianto looks at his gun. He
didn’t fire. He turns around –
-- and finds himself staring down the barrel of Jack’s gun.)
(Everyone stares.)
JACK: Hey kids. Did you miss me?
(Jack chuckles.)
SMASH TO
END OF TEASER
ROLL TITLE CREDITS
FADE IN:
EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) – NIGHT
(Top view of the area.)
INT. HUB – WORKSTATIONS
(The team is back in the hub. After a few moments, it’s clear that Gwen’s been
in charge during Jack’s absence.)
GWEN: Are you sure no more like him came through?
(She checks on Toshiko at her workstation.)
TOSHIKO: Cross-referencing with the rift activity monitor, doesn't look like it.
(Jack stands on the side and watches the interchange. Ianto reports to Gwen. Everyone
pretty much ignores Jack for the moment.)
IANTO: The car's been impounded. I'll get it back to the owner in the morning.
GWEN: (to Owen) How you doing, all right?
(Owen hands her a file on his way to Toshiko. He hands her a drive.)
OWEN: Bio-profile's onscreen now. Nothing in his genetic make-up likely to
contaminate the city.
GWEN: Okay, Tosh. Can you add that to the species database? Ianto?
IANTO: Hello.
GWEN: Sorry. Um, can you deal with the body when it's cold?
IANTO: My pleasure ... unless you mean making sushi.
GWEN: No, the morgue'll do fine. Thank you.
JACK: Got pretty organized without me.
(Although Gwen is working on a computer and not looking at him, she is seething.)
GWEN: Yeah, well we had to.
JACK: (looks around) Hey, did you decorate in here?
(Gwen violently pushes him backward. He hits the door frame.)
GWEN: (lashes out) You left us, Jack!
(Everyone is quiet and watching.)
JACK: (sighs) I know. I'm sorry.
GWEN: We knew nothing, Jack!
TOSHIKO: Where were you?
JACK: I found my doctor.
OWEN: Did he fix you?
JACK: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection.
IANTO: Are you going back to him?
JACK: I came back for you. All of you.
(The computer beeps. Toshiko turns and recognizes it.)
TOSHIKO: Rift activity!
(Everyone gets back to work.)
(ZOOM IN and linger on the blowfish on the table in the autopsy area. There’s
something in his right pants pocket beeping with a blinking red light. It goes unnoticed.)
EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) – NIGHT
(Top view of the area.)
EXT. GARAGE ROOF -- NIGHT
(All is quiet. Then a golden gaseous light appears – faint at first, then larger and
larger. It opens in the middle and a man walks out. He’s wearing a red military
uniform jacket of sorts. It’s unbuttoned and the shirt under it is so dirty it’s
gray. He has black pants tucked in his boots. He pauses and looks around.)
VICTIM (MAN): (o.s.) Get off, I didn't do it.
(He hears the voices and heads over. Saunters, really. He’s in no rush to get there
and it’s obvious he just doesn’t care. He has two gun holsters on either leg
with a samurai sword on his right side. He is armed and very dangerous.)
VICTIM (MAN): (o.s.) Please, leave me alone.
(At the end of the rooftop is a man being attacked by knife-point by an attacker holding
him bent backward on a car hood. Both attacker and victim see John Hart approach them.)
VICTIM (MAN): Help me!
MUGGER: Come any closer and I'll open up his neck!
(Ignoring him, John Hart walks right up to them.)
JOHN HART: Fine.
MUGGER: What?!
JOHN HART: Which artery do you normally sever?
VICTIM (MAN): No!
MUGGER: I’m not bluffing!
JOHN HART: Oh, well, see now, you've.. uh.. given yourself away. Only someone who's
bluffing ever says they're not. '
(The mugger turns to face John Hart. John grabs the mugger’s knife hand while he
grabs his neck with the other. He’s swift and deadly. He lifts the mugger clear off
the ground and carries him over to the edge of the roof. He doesn’t stop there.)
(He holds the mugger clear off the side of the roof with nothing but air beneath him.)
MUGGER: Oh, God! Shit! Please! Please stop!
JOHN HART: Well ... no.
(John lets him go. The mugger screams and falls. The victim watches and gasps.)
SPLAT!
(The victim runs to the edge of the room and looks down. The mugger is dead on the
sidewalk below.)
VICTIM (MAN): He's dead.
(John Hart looks at the man. The man looks at John Hart and realizes that he may not be
safe from his rescuer.)
(John Hart grabs him by his shirtfront.)
VICTIM (MAN): Please ...
JOHN HART: I ... was never here.
(The man swallows hard and nods.)
(John rolls his eyes and shakes his head.)
JOHN HART: Go.
(He releases the man, patting him on his chest. The man runs.)
(John Hart starts walking.)
JOHN HART: Thirsty now.
(He walks out of frame.)
EXT. VARIOUS CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) – NIGHT
(Speedy views of the area.)
INT. BAR REUNION -- NIGHT
(Music blares at the establishment. It’s comfortably filled with people casually
having drinks. The double doors open. John Hart pushes them in as he enters. He smiles.
Just what he’s looking for.)
(The doors close behind him. He opens his wristband and presses a button. The dance music
stops immediately. The crowd groans. Some people notice him.)
JOHN HART: (loudly) All right! Now ...
(He looks around the room. He starts with the nearest people and works his way inward.)
JOHN HART: You, go. You ... go. You, go. You? (smiles) Stay. Go, go, go. Stay. Go,
go, go, go. Go, go. Oh! (to the blonde twins at the bar) Stay, stay, stay. Go, go, go. go,
go! (loudly) The rest of you ... go!
(He turns his back to the people in the room.)
JOHN HART: (to the barkeep) I'll take one of everything.
(He turns back to the people in the room.)
JOHN HART: Any questions?
(A large bouncer steps out. He’s with another bouncer.)
BOUNCER: All right, mate, let's take it outside.
JOHN HART: Oh. (He whips out both his large guns and holds them up.) Did I mention
I'm armed?
(People scream and run for the door.)
(PAN AROUND the room. John Hart smiles with amusement. There’s no faster way of
clearing the bar.)
(He laughs and turns toward the bar.)
EXT. SIDEWALK OUTSIDE GARAGE BUILDING -- NIGHT
(Torchwood is at the scene with police and SOCO there also. Torchwood is with the body.)
(Toshiko’s hand-held scanner beeps as she takes a reading.)
TOSHIKO: Fragments of rift energy around the neck, arm and shoulders.
JACK: He was grabbed ... and pushed.
TOSHIKO: Explains the residual energy cluster.
JACK: How did you ever manage without me?
OWEN: So, there's a potential killer on the loose -- bi-pedal, maybe humanoid.
GWEN: Any other alien tech involved, Tosh?
TOSHIKO: No readings to suggest that.
JACK: Okay, let's get back and see what we can piece together.
GWEN: Taking charge again are you?
JACK: I was hoping for a little power struggle, resolved by some naked wrestling.
(Gwen heads to the crime scene tape. Andy holds it up for her.)
GWEN: Thank you, Andy. You can let SOCO in now, they can eliminate us from whatever
they want.
ANDY: This another one of your spooky-do’s, is it?
GWEN: Not yet, but ... uh ... I'll let you know.
(She turns and follows the rest of the team back to the SUV.)
ANDY: (to her back) "Thanks, Andy. You've been very helpful." "Don't
mention it, Gwen."
(Jack reaches for the door. His wristband beeps. Jack presses a button and turns it off.
Too late! Ianto noticed.)
IANTO: Whoa, that never beeps.
(This can’t be good.)
JACK: That's what I was thinking.
(Everyone is gathered around him.)
(Jack presses his wristband button and a nearly-life-sized 3-D light image of JOHN HART
appears in front of him. The image looks like something out of Star Wars IV.)
JOHN HART: (image recording) I can't believe I got the answer machine! What can you
be doing that's more important than me? Anyway, you've probably traced the energy shift,
found the body. All me, sorry about the mess. Bill me for the clean-up. Now ... (claps and
rubs his hands) Drinks! Retrolock the transmission coordinates, that's where I am. And
hurry up, work to do! (girl voice) Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!
(The image turns to look on the side just like in the movie ... then it vanishes.)
JACK: (very serious) Stay here. Don't come after me.
GWEN: Who was that?
JACK: Stay here.
(Jack gets in the SUV.)
GWEN: But ...
(Jack drives away, leaving them there.)
GWEN: Hey, Jack!
OWEN: Whoa!
GWEN: Wait!
(Gwen, Owen and Toshiko watch as Jack and the SUV speeds away. Ianto turns and heads back
toward the main road. Owen stomps his foot on the ground in frustration.)
OWEN: You see that? He swans back in and then he shuts us right out.
GWEN: I'm not having this.
TOSHIKO: (holds up her scanner) I can track him!
(Ianto whistles loudly. Everyone turns.)
IANTO: Taxi!
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
(The Torchwood SUV turns the corner and with tires screeching, stops on the side of the
road.)
(The door opens and Jack steps out. We’re LOW and on his FEET as he crosses the road
toward the bar. The car alarm chirps on.)
(Jack pauses at the BAR REUNION. He takes a deep breath and prepares himself.)
INT. BAR REUNION – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
(John Hart sits at the bar with a line of shot glasses in front of him as he works his way
through them. He picks up the glass and downs the drink. He puts the shot glass back in
its place, but before he actually puts the glass down on the bar, he stops and turns to
look at the doors.)
CLOSE: JOHN HART’S EYES
(His eyes are sharp and knowing. He knows he’s here.)
(John goes back to his next drink.)
THE FRONT DOORS
(Jack’s shadow appears in the glass. LOW ON FEET -- The double doors open. Jack walks
in, the hem of his long coat flapping against his legs. The doors close behind him.)
(John steps out and away from the bar. Like two gunfighters in an old western bar, the two
time agents face each other. Jack’s face is inscrutable. We can’t tell whether
he’s happy to see him or not.)
(John Hart unsnaps both his holsters. That’s a threatening move. After a beat, he
starts toward Jack.)
(Way across the other side of the room, Jack starts toward him.)
(They move without hesitation, their ground-eating steps bring them both swiftly to the
other. They stop mere inches from the other.)
(The two men stare. We can feel it building ... and building ..
... then, they kiss. Passionately. Hands groping and grabbing at each other – heads,
shoulders, backs. Their breaths in short, rasping, devastating pants. And the kiss goes on
... till they push each other away.)
(John pulls back and SLUGS Jack hard in the face. WHAM!)
(Jack smiles. Then, he SLUGS John hard in the face. WHAM!)
(John smiles. Now the games begin.)
(John punches Jack in the gut, doubling him over.)
JACK: Whoa!
(John pulls back and laughs.)
(Jack kicks him in the shins, bringing John down to his knees. John looks up at Jack, who
has his arms out wide, cheeky smile on his face and tongue sticking out in a dare.)
(John rushes Jack, grabbing his waist. Jack turns and tosses John to the ground behind
him. John rolls and stands up.)
SERIES OF QUICK CUTS:
(Jack turns and punches him. He punches back. They exchange a series of punches to the
head and gut.)
(John kicks Jack. Jack grabs his leg and flips him over to the ground.)
(They grab each other around their necks. John slams Jack back against the wall. Jack
grabs John’s face and pushes him back against the end of the bar. Glass breaks. John
rolls backward and tosses Jack clear through the thin screen partition.)
(Jack rolls over and gets to his feet. The fight continues.)
(John head-butts Jack.)
JACK: Ahhh!
(He grabs Jack, slams his head down on the bar counter and slides him across the bar
– through the long line of his shot glasses. He smashes them all -- and continues
right off screen.)
CUT TO:
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
(The taxi with Owen, Gwen, Toshiko and Ianto inside zooms across the screen.)
TOSHIKO: (v.o.) Reports coming in of a bar disturbance.
INT. TAXI (MOVING) -- NIGHT
(She looks at the hand-held scanner.)
TOSHIKO: Same coordinates as the SUV.
GWEN: Tell the police we're dealing with it.
OWEN: Okay, so who the hell was the bloke in the hologram?
IANTO: Looked like Jack recognized him.
TOSHIKO: Why didn't he let us go with him?
GWEN: ‘Cause it's typical Jack, isn’t it? Disappears, he comes back, then
he runs away again. Shuts us out. We don't even know his real name.
TOSHIKO: Or which time he comes from.
GWEN: Exactly. He's supposed to be our boss, we know nothing about him. It drives
me crazy!
(Everyone lapses into silence.)
IANTO: It is more fun when he's around, though.
OWEN: Yeah.
TOSHIKO: Oh, definitely!
GWEN: Yeah, it is.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR REUNION -- NIGHT
(Jack and John both crash through a glass partition. The place is a mess. They land on the
floor, roll apart, reach for their guns and draw on each other. Their guns are on each
other: a draw.)
(They smile and chuckle as they circle the other and wait for the next round of attacks.
The guns don’t waiver.)
JOHN HART: You're putting on weight?
JACK: You're losing your hair?
JOHN HART: What are you wearing?
JACK: Captain Jack Harkness, note the stripes.
JOHN HART: Captain John Hart, note the sarcasm.
JACK: Hey, I worked my way up through the ranks.
JOHN HART: I bet the ranks were very grateful. I need a drink.
JACK: I thought you'd never ask.
(The fight over, they lower their guns and head for the bar.)
(John reaches over the bar and grabs a bottle. He hands it to Jack as he grabs a bottle
for himself. Jack bites the spout off and spits it aside. John turns around and leans
against the bar as he guzzles over half the bottle.)
(Jack watches him and doesn’t touch his own bottle.)
JACK: So ... how was rehab?
JOHN HART: Rehabs. (smiles) Plural.
(He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.)
JACK: Drink, drugs, sex and ...
JOHN HART: Murder.
JACK: (chuckles) A-ha ha! You went to murder rehab?
JOHN HART: I know, ridiculous. The odd kill, who does it hurt?
JACK: You clean now?
JOHN HART: Yeah. Kicked everything. Living like a priest.
(Jack chuckles. He sets his bottle down on the counter.)
JACK: So, how's the Time Agency?
JOHN HART: You didn't hear? (By the look on his face, no.) It’s ... shut down.
JACK: You're kidding.
JOHN HART: No. There's only seven of us left now.
JACK: Wow.
JOHN HART: It's good to see you. It was never the same without you.
(Jack leans forward. John leans forward as if to kiss him, but Jack stops.)
JACK: You need to go. I don't want you on my territory.
JOHN HART: What?
(John stands up and puts his nearly empty bottle on the counter.)
JOHN HART: Time was, you couldn't get enough of me on your "territory".
(John moves very, very fast. He grabs the gun off the counter. Jack ducks to avoid
whatever’s coming. John shoots out the glass in the front door. He turns and shoots
out the glass at the back.)
JOHN HART: (shouts) All right, everybody out!
(The front door opens. Gwen and Ianto step inside. Gwen is facing front while Ianto covers
her from the side.)
GWEN: Everything all right, Jack?
JACK: It's okay, okay, okay!
(Owen comes out from the back with Toshiko.)
JOHN HART: (amused) You've got a team! How sweet! Oh, pretty little friends! No
blonde, though. You need a blonde.
(They continue inching forward toward them.)
OWEN: God! He's worse than Jack.
JOHN HART: Oh, do you have a team name? I love team names, go on!
JACK: Torchwood.
JOHN HART: Oh. Not Excalibur? Blizzard? Bikini Cops? No? Torchwood. Oh, dear.
JACK: Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, meet ...
JOHN HART: Captain John Hart.
JACK: We go back.
JOHN HART: Excuse me. We more than go back. We were partners.
IANTO: In what way?
JOHN HART: In every way. And then some.
JACK: It was two weeks.
JOHN HART: Except that two weeks was trapped in a time loop, so we were together
for five years. It was like having a wife. .
JACK: You were the wife.
JOHN HART: YOU were the wife.
JACK: No, you were the wife.
JOHN HART: Oh, but I was a good wife.
TOSHIKO: I bet you were. What? Don't pretend you haven't noticed, he's cute.
JOHN HART: They're just shy.
JACK: (to John) What are you doing here?
JOHN HART: I was wondering when we'd get to that.
(He opens his wristband and punches some buttons.)
TOSHIKO: That's the same as yours.
JACK: A little smaller.
JOHN HART: (rolls his eyes) But lasts much longer. Get two Time Agents in the same
room together, it's always about the size of the wrist strap.
OWEN: Ah, yes, sorry? What's a Time Agent?
JOHN HART: What? He's never told you about his past?
GWEN: No, he hasn't.
(Jack and John both look at each other.)
JOHN HART: Anyway ...
(John presses his wristband. It beeps and a holographic image of a canister appears.)
JOHN HART: I'm working with this woman -- beautiful, clever, sexy, yadda yadda
yadda -- and we both get shot. And as she's dying, she begs me. She tells me about these
radiation cluster bombs she'd been working on.
OWEN: I don't like the sound of that.
JOHN HART: Three canisters, contents beyond toxic, swallowed up in a riftstorm.
TOSHIKO: And ended up here.
JOHN HART: Bingo. That's the downside of your city being built on a rift in space
and time. Now, left to their own devices, the radiation'll break down the canisters and
then infect your people and planet. They need to be neutralized.
(He presses more buttons and the holograph disappears.)
JACK: What do you get out of this?
JOHN HART: Dying woman's wish. (Jack doesn’t believe him.) Now, there's only
one problem: I don't know where they are. Hoping local knowledge might help.
TOSHIKO: When we get back to the Hub, I can run a citywide scan on radiation surges
and cross-reference that with the rift activity during that time span.
JOHN HART: What are you, the brains and the beauty? You see, together it's an easy
job.
(Jack gets in John’s face.)
JACK: We do this, you get out of here when it’s finished. Right away.
JOHN HART: Does this mean I get to see your house?
(Jack’s not smiling. HOLD on John Hart.)
EXT. PLAZA -- NIGHT
(Jack stands at the base of the water tower.)
JOHN HART: You live in a sculpture? Could you be any more pretentious?
(Jack points to the concrete block.)
JACK: Get on.
(John looks around.)
JOHN HART: So your team not allowed in this way?
(He steps on the block with Jack.)
JACK: This is the entrance for tourists.
JOHN HART: I remember the last time you said that.
(The block starts to descend.)
JOHN HART: Where the hell are we ... ?
(Jack smiles at him. He shakes his head.)
INT. THE HUB – NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS
(Toshiko watches as the block descends into the hub.)
JOHN HART: It's roomy, I'll give you that.
(John looks around. Toshiko, Gwen and Ianto are waiting at the base. Toshiko hands Gwen
the scanner.)
JOHN HART: Your taste in interior design hasn't got any better, though. What is
this, sewer chic?
(Ianto waits for them. Owen stands in the back, his gun out. The block stops. Jack steps
off and faces John. He stops him from stepping off the block.)
JACK: Weapons.
(John removes his guns and hands them to Jack, who puts them on the silver tray Ianto is
holding. John removes his samurai sword and gives it to Jack, who hands it to Ianto.)
(John shrugs innocently. Jack holds out his hand.)
JACK: And the rest.
JOHN HART: Oh, you know me. I'm a two-weapon man.
GWEN: (reading the scanner) One pistol strapped to each leg, laser knife beneath
left elbow, 17 small explosive charges in the lining of his coat.
(QUICK CUTS: As she talks, John hands over the weapons.)
JOHN HART: Slipped my mind.
(Jack drops the tiny pistol on the tray on top of the other weapons.)
INT. HUB – BACK CORRIDOR
(Gwen and Jack walk.)
GWEN: He's a compulsive liar! Why is he in the building?
JACK: There's the tiniest one percent chance he's breaking a habit of a lifetime,
and telling the truth. Which means this city is in danger.
GWEN: What did he mean by a Time Agent? You've never mentioned it.
JACK: That was in the past.
GWEN: Oh, okay. Here we go again. You know everything about me, Jack, why d'you
keep shutting me out?
JACK: Here and now -- that's what's important. The work we do, the person I am now.
That's what I'm proud of.
GWEN: Then why did you desert us?
(Jack doesn’t answer her.)
GWEN: Where did you go? No, no, come on, where did you go? Tell me. Talk to me.
JACK: I have died so many times. Been dragged back into life, like being hauled
over broken glass. I saw the end of the world.
GWEN: How?
JACK: Doesn't matter now. But after it was all over ... I knew I belong here. What
kept me fighting was the thought of coming home to you.
(He runs his hand down her arm, looks at her and smiles. He takes her hand and notices her
ring. He holds her hand up.)
JACK: What's this?
GWEN: That's an engagement ring, that is.
(She looks at her ring with surprise.)
JACK: You're getting married?
GWEN: Yes. Rhys asked. (She puts her hand down.) When you were away.
JACK: Wow! Gwen Cooper getting married. (She nods.) Down on one knee?
GWEN: He tried to, and then he had a twinge in his back and had to lie on the
settee, and that’s when he popped the question.
JACK: And you said yes.
GWEN: Well, no-one else will have me.
(They look at each other.)
JACK: Good for you.
(Jack kisses her on the cheek.)
JACK: We should get back to work.
GWEN: Mm-hm.
(Jack turns and heads back. Gwen nods, just standing there for a moment.)
INT. HUB – CONFERENCE ROOM -- NIGHT
(Toshiko presents her findings to everyone. John Hart sits back on the conference seat,
his leg up on the table.)
TOSHIKO: Seven hours ago we logged a minor surge in rift energy, across three
locations.
JOHN HART: Six of us, three locations. That’s simple. Two people per canister.
JACK: Excuse me, I give the orders.
JOHN HART: Well, give some, big boy!
GWEN: John's right. Sorry ... um ... d'you prefer John, or Captain?
JOHN HART: With eyes like yours, call me Vera, I won't complain.
(Ianto rolls his eyes.)
GWEN: Tosh and Owen, take the north. Ianto and Jack go west. Me and Vera'll take
the docks.
JACK: Excuse me, not to repeat myself ...
GWEN: Got a problem with this, Jack?
(Everyone waits. Jack smiles and backs off.)
JACK: Not at all.
(Gwen nods.)
JOHN HART: Now, given the canisters are radioactive, don't open them, eh?
GWEN: Let’s go, guys.
JACK: Gwen, I need a word.
(Everyone else leaves.)
JOHN HART: Oh, can I watch this bit? He's gonna give you all the dos and don'ts. I
love it.
JACK: (points to the door) She'll be with you in a second.
(John gets up and leaves the room.)
JACK: What the hell are you doing?
GWEN: If I can get him talking, flirt a bit, he may drop his guard. I can find out
what he's really up to.
JACK: Okay, clever.
GWEN: Thank you.
JACK: But dangerous, leave it to me.
GWEN: I led the team while you were way, Jack. I can handle this. He knows you too
well. He'll never tell you the truth.
JACK: Three rules: One - don't believe anything he says. Two - always keep him in
front of you. And three - under no circumstances let him kiss you.
GWEN: As if I would!
JOHN HART: (o.s.) Has he gone to the no-kissing rule yet?
(John is leaning against the wall out in the hallway.)
JOHN HART: He only invented that because he wants me all to himself.
(Gwen starts out. Jack watches them go.)
GWEN: (to John) Keep in front.
EXT. VARIOUS CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) – NIGHT
(Top view of the area.)
EXT. SHIPYARD -- NIGHT
(There are stacks of shipping containers in the shipyard. John and Gwen look through
them.)
JOHN HART: Nothing.
(He opens the next container.)
JOHN HART: Are you sure this is the right spot?
(Gwen peers into the container with her flashlight, but remains behind him.)
GWEN: Yeah. But containers get shifted all the time.
(She closes the container door.)
JOHN HART: This could take days.
(They continue looking.)
GWEN: So that woman, the one with the canister, how did you get to know her again?
JOHN HART: We were in love.
GWEN: Oh. I’m sorry. Did they catch the person who shot her?
JOHN HART: Do we have to talk about this?
GWEN: No, no, of course not.
(She drops the subject. John opens the nearest container. Gwen’s phone rings. She
ignores it.)
JOHN HART: Don't mind me.
(She answers the phone and turns her back to John.)
GWEN: (to phone) Shouldn't you be asleep?
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. RHYS/GWEN’S PLACE – KITCHEN – NIGHT]
RHYS: (to phone) I got it!
GWEN: (filtered) Sorry?
RHYS: (excited) Manager at Harwoods!
(Gwen motions to the canister next to her.)
RHYS: (filtered) The letter was on the mat! I got the bloody job!
(He laughs and opens the refrigerator.)
GWEN: (to phone) Oh, my God! Rhys, that is fantastic!
(John crowds her.)
JOHN HART: (sexy voice) Baby, you're fantastic too. Yeah, just there!
(She shoves him away from her and steps away.)
RHYS: (to phone) Who's that?
GWEN: (to phone) It's some idiot I work with, that's all.
RHYS: (filtered) I don't suppose there's any chance of me seeing you before
breakfast?
(Gwen steps away from him.)
GWEN: (to phone) It looks like it's gonna be an all-nighter. Go on, get yourself to
bed. I am so proud of you. I love you.
RHYS: (to phone) Yeah, well, I love you more.
GWEN: Bye.
(She hangs up and tucks her phone back into her jacket pocket.)
GWEN: John?
(There’s no answer. She checks where she left him last ... and finds him gone.)
GWEN: John?
(There’s no sign of him. She looks around.)
GWEN: John!
(There’s no answer. She takes her gun out.)
GWEN: John!!
JOHN HART: Worried you'd lost me?
(Surprised, she swings around, her gun out and pointed at him.)
JOHN HART: Whoa. Little bit jumpy there?
GWEN: Keep in front of me, okay?
JOHN HART: God, you're so untrusting. But with your boss, it's probably wise.
GWEN: Yeah, well. I trust him just fine, thank you.
JOHN HART: Once a con man, always a con man.
GWEN: What do you mean by that?
JOHN HART: Look, just don't rely on him, Gwen. There's a lot about him you don't
know.
(He goes to the container door.)
JOHN HART: Fancy a peek?
(He opens the doors. Gwen steps inside and looks. They find a canister.)
JOHN HART: Aha!
GWEN: Is that it?
(Gwen heads over first. John follows behind her. She picks up the canister. He walks up to
her, pushes her to the side. Her back slams up against the wall --
GWEN: What are you doing?!
-- and he kisses her hard. She pushes him away from her.)
GWEN: Get off me!
(He laughs.)
JOHN HART: Celebrating, that's all. (Gwen gasps for breath and falls to the floor.)
God, the 21st Century is so frigid!
(Something is wrong with her.)
GWEN: What've you done?
JOHN HART: Don’t get up. I mean, you can’t anyway. Paralyzing lip gloss.
I think it might have even been Jack taught me that trick. Just one problem, if you're not
found in two hours, your major organs will go into shutdown.
(He takes her cell phone out of her jacket pocket and wiggles it in front of her.)
JOHN HART: Thanks.
(He pushes her down to the ground, gets up and heads out.)
JOHN HART: (o.s.) You gonna be okay in here without me?
(He stops in the doorway.)
JOHN HART: He won't stay with you. He and I shared something.
(John closes the door behind him. Gwen is as good as dead in the container. Her eyes are
wide and she swallows. She’s helpless and she knows it.)
EXT. CONTAINER – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
(John secures the bar across the container door. He looks at Gwen’s cell phone, turns
and throws it as far and as high as he can. We hear it land somewhere. He turns and
leaves.)
EXT. SHIPYARD (STOCK) -- NIGHT
EXT. VARIOUS CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) -- NIGHT
INT. WAREHOUSE -- NIGHT
(Owen and Toshiko cautiously make their way through the warehouse containers.)
(Toshiko tries the light switch. It doesn’t work.)
TOSHIKO: No bulbs.
OWEN: No, ‘cause that would only be helpful. Oh, great, how are we gonna find
a canister in all this tut?
(TOP VIEW DOWN of the very large and very full warehouse.)
OWEN: What are we doing with our lives, Tosh?
TOSHIKO: I know. We should be out having fun! Bet you'd normally be out on the
pull, this time of night.
OWEN: Oh, no, bollocks to that, Tosh. Talk about diminishing returns.
TOSHIKO: Not with you.
OWEN: Well, you know, I've done all that, haven’t I? Where did it get me? No,
you know, I need a proper woman, you know. Someone I've got something in common with, you
know. Er, got anyone on the horizon?
TOSHIKO: Like you say, difficult to meet anyone I've got anything in common with.
What with the things we see.
OWEN: You beauty!
(She turns. Owen’s found it. He drags a chair over to the shelf.)
OWEN: Yes!
(Owen finds the canister up on the shelf.)
OWEN: Job done!
JOHN HART: (o.s.) Good work, team!
(They turn around and John Hart walks in.)
TOSHIKO: Where's Gwen?
(He doesn’t answer her. Toshiko reaches to draw her gun, but he reaches her first. He
head-butts her in the face and pushes her down to the side. He pulls his gun on Owen, who
is just climbing down off the chair.)
JOHN HART: Ah ah ah! Gun on the floor --
(He slowly, deliberately, dangerously turns his gun on Toshiko, who is still on the floor
and is sporting a bleeding nose.)
JOHN HART: -- or I shoot her.
(Owen puts his gun on the floor.)
OWEN: (to comm) Jack, where are you?
JOHN HART: I muted the comms system as soon as we left the palace under the
pavement. (Owen looks at John. John raises his arm.) I love my little wrist strap. Now ...
phones.
OWEN: You touch her again, and I will kill you. Okay?
(Owen and Toshiko slide their phones toward John.)
(John takes a couple of steps forward. He picks up a cricket bat on the shelf nearby and
looks at Owen.)
JOHN HART: The efficiency of a gun, or the brutality of wood?
OWEN: Yeah, look, stop toying with me and get on with it.
(John fires.)
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE -- NIGHT
(The doors open. Jack and Ianto step into the office.)
JACK: Oh, yeah! Loving that office-y feel! (They look around.) I always get excited
in these places. To me, they're exotic. Office romances ... photocopying your butt ...
well, maybe not your butt, although as we're here, why don’t we ...
IANTO: (interrupts) The rift was active at these coordinates approximately two
hundred feet above ground. That means this floor or the roof.
(Ianto continues searching. Jack watches him.)
JACK: How are you, Ianto?
IANTO: All the better for having you back, sir ...
(Ianto turns away and checks one of the desks furthest away from Jack.)
JACK: Can we maybe drop the sir, now? While I was away, I was thinking ... maybe we
could, you know, when this is all done ... dinner? A movie?
(Ianto turns and looks at Jack.)
IANTO: Are you asking me out on a date?
JACK: Interested?
IANTO: Well ... as long as it's not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to
yourself.
(Ianto continues looking.)
JACK: Looks like we're gonna have to go through every drawer, bin and plant pot. .
IANTO: Right. Okay. I'll do this floor, don't want you getting overexcited, and you
take the roof. You're good on roofs.
(Jack starts for the door. Ianto whirls around.)
IANTO: Jack? Why are we helping him?
JACK: He's a reminder of my past. I want him gone.
(Jack starts to leave again, but turns back.)
JACK: By the way ... was that a yes?
IANTO: Yes! Yes.
(Jack smiles and leaves the office.)
(Ianto continues looking around.)
EXT. ROOFTOP – NIGHT
(The door bursts open and Jack steps out onto the roof. He starts looking around.)
INT. OFFICE -- NIGHT
VARIOUS QUICK CUTS OF: Ianto continues to search the office.
(The elevator bell dings. He stands up quickly and turns around. He waits a bit, then
pulls out his gun. He pulls the slider back, putting a bullet in the chamber, then he
cautiously heads out.)
INT. OFFICE – HALLWAY – NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS
(Ianto steps out of the office and starts down the hallway. He reaches the first elevator
and finds the doors closed. He checks the second elevator and finds the door open and no
one inside.)
(John presses the muzzle of his gun against the back of Ianto’s head.)
JOHN HART: Into the lift, eye candy.
(Ianto puts his hands up. John takes his gun from him. Ianto turns around.)
JOHN HART: Your friends are bleeding and dying.
(John advances on him, forcing him to step backward into the elevator.)
JOHN HART: You barely have enough time - to save them.
(Ianto hits his earpiece.)
IANTO: (to comm) Owen? Gwen?
JOHN HART: (scoffs) What am I, a child? It's primitive bit of technology, easily
blocked; you should be embarrassed. And when you get to the bottom, run. You look like a
man who enjoys a challenge, see if you can save them. Come back up here, I'll shoot on
sight.
(John presses the elevator button.)
ELEVATOR VOICE: Going down.
(He backs away as the doors start to close.)
JOHN HART: Going down. Yes, please.
(Ianto steps forward and stops the doors.)
IANTO: Why are you doing this?
JOHN HART: We're a cosmic joke, eye candy, an accident of chemicals and evolution.
The jokes, the sex, (he strokes Ianto’s cheeks with the muzzle of his gun) -- just
cover the fact that nothing means anything. And the only consolation is ... MONEY.
(He puts the muzzle of the gun against Ianto’s forehead and pushes him back into the
elevator.) So run, Ianto Jones!
ELEVATOR VOICE: Going down.
(John backs away and smiles.)
ELEVATOR VOICE: Doors closing.
(Ianto punches the wall in frustration and turns as the doors close on him.)
EXT. STREET BELOW – NIGHT
(Ianto runs around the SUV. He climbs inside, starts the engine and drives away.)
PAN UP the side of the building to --
EXT. ROOFTOP – NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS
(Jack finds the canister and bends over to pick it up.)
JOHN HART: (o.s.) Rear of the Year.
(Jack turns around. John joins him on the rooftop.)
JOHN HART: 5094. Still looking good.
(Jack’s phone rings. He looks at it.)
JOHN HART: Cute boy, ringing to warn you about me.
(John grabs the phone from him and tosses it aside. He holds his hand out.)
JOHN HART: Canister.
JACK: If you've harmed them in any way ...
JOHN HART: You know, they're pretty, but stupid. You used to have better taste.
JACK: Doesn't look like that from here.
JOHN HART: Just give it here.
JACK: Radiation cluster bombs? Really?
JOHN HART: Let's not get hung up on details.
JACK: Little embarrassing that you needed help to find them.
JOHN HART: A little humiliating you fell for the scam. Your dolly birds did all my
legwork.
JACK: Is that what you wanted?
JOHN HART: What I want is for you to come to your senses. Join me, Jack. Back in
the old routine, we'd be emperors. How can you stay tied to one planet when there's
thousands of worlds, sparkling with wonder? We should be up there, among the stars,
claiming them for our own. Just like before.
JACK: I can’t.
JOHN HART: Why not? What the hell is there to keep you here? Come on. The glitter
of the galaxy. The mischief we could make.
JACK: You know, you never really mastered that temptation spiel.
JOHN HART: It's not a spiel. It's fact.
JACK: Move on. Here I am, in a new life and you're still churning out the same old
tunes. And sorry, but they don't play as well, now you're looking a little older. And what
are they? Wrinkles around your eyes?
JOHN HART: Laugh lines.
JACK: Oh, hell of a good joke.
JOHN HART: It's you I'm laughing at. Canister.
(Jack holds up the canister, then tosses it over his shoulder and off the building
somewhere behind him.)
JACK: Whoops.
(John seethes. Jack laughs at him.)
JOHN HART: Whoops.
(John pushes Jack backward off the building.)
JACK: Ahh!
TOP VIEW DOWN: John watches as Jack falls.
(Jack falls and falls and falls ... and he doesn’t scream.)
SPLAT!
JOHN’S POV: Jack has stopped falling and appears to be dead.
(John pushes himself away from the edge of the rooftop and walks away.)
CARLIGHTS FLASH as the SUV turns the corner.
EXT. CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) – NIGHT
(The Torchwood SUV zooms along the highway.)
(Ianto dials and puts his earpiece in.)
INTERCUT WITH:
EXT. SHIPYARD – NIGHT
(Gwen’s phone rings. It’s on the ground somewhere.)
(Ianto drives. His hand taps the steering wheel impatiently as he listens to the line
ring.)
IANTO: (mutters) Come on.
TOP VIEW OF SHIPPING CONTAINERS
(Gwen’s phone continues to ring.)
GWEN
(Her eyes are open and she’s still on the ground in the dark container. She’s
conscious and unable to move. Her phone continues to ring.)
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
(The Torchwood SUV continues to zoom across the highway.)
INT. WAREHOUSE -- NIGHT
(Toshiko is tending to Owen.)
OWEN: Agh!
TOSHIKO: I'm sorry! I'm sorry.
OWEN: Ow!
(Owen puts the cloth aside. His jeans are open and there’s a pair of scissors open as
well. Toshiko hands him a vial as he works on himself.)
TOSHIKO: Why didn't he just kill us?
OWEN: He got what he wanted. Maybe he just underestimated us.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
(The SUV stops outside. Ianto gets out and looks at the building. He uses a crowbar and
hits the padlock on the door.)
INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
(Owen uses his teeth and tears off a strip of tape. He continues working on his wound.)
IANTO: (o.s.) Tosh! Owen!
TOSHIKO: (shouts) Ianto!
IANTO: (o.s.) Tosh!
(She gets up.)
TOSHIKO: (shouts) We're over here.
(Ianto has his gun out as he quickly and cautiously makes his way toward them.)
IANTO: What happened?
TOSHIKO: Where's Gwen? Have you heard from Gwen?
IANTO: No.
EXT. PLAZA OUTSIDE BUILDING – NIGHT
(John exits out of the building through the spinning doors. He picks up the canister, then
walks over to Jack, who is sprawled over the concrete benches.)
(John crouches next to him, setting the canister down on the ground.)
JOHN HART: Rehab ... didn't really work.
(Jack’s eyes are open and unresponsive. John removes Jack’s wristband.)
JOHN HART: Front door key. Thanks.
(He tenderly touches Jack’s lips and looks regretfully at him. He picks up the
canister, gets up and leaves.)
TOP VIEW DOWN: John walks away from Jack’s dead body.
EXT. SHIPYARD -- NIGHT
(Ianto, Owen and Toshiko search the containers. He walks past them.)
IANTO: If she's in one of these, we'll never find her, there's too many!
TOSHIKO: Just keep looking!
(Owen opens a container door and groans.)
OWEN: Aah! God, I need more painkillers!
(Ianto takes his phone out.)
IANTO: I'll try her phone again.
ZOOM over to GWEN in the dark container. Her eyes are open and she’s still not
moving. She hears her phone ring faintly. Her eyes move as she looks to the side.
IANTO’S PHONE
(They hear the phone ringing. Ianto follows the sound and starts running toward it.)
IANTO: (shouts) Over here!
(Toshiko and Owen head over as well.)
(GWEN is in the dark and waits.)
(TOP VIEW OF SHIPYARD. The phone rings.)
(GWEN’S PHONE is on the ground. Owen picks it up.)
OWEN: She must've dropped it.
(Ianto has his gun out. He’s being cautious.)
IANTO: (shouts) Gwen! Gwen!
(Toshiko digs into her bag.)
TOSHIKO: Unless it's another of Captain John's tricks.
(She takes out her hand-held scanner.)
IANTO: What're you doing?
TOSHIKO: If Gwen used the phone here, I can use the network to triangulate the
location where she answered her last call. Got it!
(Toshiko turns and heads off. Ianto and Owen follow.)
INT. CONTAINTER – CONTINUOUS
(Gwen lies on the cold floor.)
EXT. CONTAINER – CONTINUOUS
(They arrive at the location. Owen and Ianto head for the last two containers.)
TOSHIKO: This is where she made the call. Open every container door!
(They open the container doors and start checking. Toshiko opens a container door.)
INT. CONTAINTER – CONTINUOUS
(Gwen’s on the floor. The container door opens and Toshiko finds her.)
TOSHIKO: She's in here!
(They run inside to check on her.)
TOSHIKO: Gwen, it's all right. We're here with you.
(Toshiko turns Gwen’s head so she can see them.)
TOSHIKO: What happened? What's he done to her?
(Owen gets to work. They all move quickly and efficiently.)
OWEN: She’s still breathing. No discernible injuries. Tosh, let's get this
thing started. Ianto, take a swab.
(Owen hands Ianto a swab out of his kit. Toshiko opens her laptop. Owen checks her eyes.)
OWEN: Right, pupils dilating, she's still conscious. (Ianto swabs Gwen’s
lips.) Stay with us, darling.
(Ianto dabs the swab in Toshiko’s scanner. Toshiko runs the analysis and gets the
results. She turns the laptop toward Owen.)
TOSHIKO: He's poisoned her.
OWEN: (to Ianto) Anti-toxin kit now!
(Ianto gets up to get it.)
OWEN: Gwen, hold on.
EXT. CARDIFF CITY – BAY (STOCK) -- MORNING
(Establish time of day.)
INT. HUB – AUTOPSY AREA -- MORNING
(John Hart is back in Torchwood. He picks up the last canister and opens it. He takes out
the piece inside to match the other two pieces.)
(He places the last piece as the third side of a triangle on the counter. He turns and
walks over to the blowfish’s body on the table behind him. He sighs.)
JOHN HART: Had to go and steal a car. Get yourself noticed.
(John checks his pockets and finds a small pyramid. It’s beeping. He looks at it.)
JOHN HART: Now. ..
(He heads back to the counter and we can see that the pyramid is a fourth piece and fits
perfectly in the open center of the triangle. John crouches down and starts to set the
piece when –
CLOSE-UP ON FOUR GUNS and four hands pulling the gun slides back to load the chamber.
(John turns and finds Ianto, Gwen, Owen and Toshiko standing at the top of the bay area
with their guns trained on him.
JOHN HART: Oh-kay.
(He stands up and faces them. The pyramid piece is still in his hand. The pyramid stops
beeping.)
JOHN HART: Pretty and resilient. Is that even fair?
GWEN: Maybe you didn't realize. You can beat, shoot, threaten, and even poison us,
and we keep coming back. Stronger every time.
JOHN HART: (casually) Well, I think you ought to know, your boss is splayed out on
the ...
(Jack steps forward into view. John is sufficiently surprised to see him.)
JOHN HART: ... pavement. Now that's impressive. Seriously, you can earn a fortune
in the Vegas galaxies with an act like that. Go on, how's it work?
JACK: I can't die.
JOHN HART: No. But, really ...
JACK: No. But really, you can't kill me. No matter how many times you try. I can't
die. Ever.
(Jack starts down the steps into the bay area. Gwen and Ianto make room for him, then
train their guns back on John.)
JOHN HART: But what does it cost you? Every time you have to drag yourself back
here, how does it feel? All that pain and trauma. Plus, you're reborn into this
godforsaken mess. I pity you.
JACK: These people. This planet. All the beauty you could never see. That's what I
come back for.
JOHN HART: Well, goody on you.
GWEN: What's in the canisters?
OWEN: Come-clean time, Captain.
JOHN HART: Yeah, all right. That woman I told you about? Had herself an Arcadian
diamond, the rarest gem in the Damascene Cluster. Just when I'd got my hands on her, she
only generates her own personal riftstorm. God, I hate technological geniuses.
TOSHIKO: You said this was a dying woman's request.
JOHN HART: Yeah, she was dying. I shot her. Thought my luck had changed when I
found it had ended up here. So, I'm thinking 50/50? Even split, good deal. Or if anyone
fancies an orgy?
INT. HUB – JACK’S OFFICE -- DAY
(The pyramid is on Jack’s desk. Jack sits and rubs his chin, thinking about it.)
JACK: Open it.
JOHN HART: What, not even a please? Don't your manners get brought back to life
too?
JACK: Now!
JOHN HART: This should give us the location of the diamond.
(John puts the triangle pieces, now snapped together in one piece, over the pyramid. It
fits perfectly. The pyramid projects a holographic image up on the desk. She’s a
beautiful woman.)
JOHN HART: There she is.
GWEN: The woman you murdered.
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: You've traveled several galaxies for this. Well done.
JOHN HART: Thank you, gorgeous.
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: Except ... there's no diamond.
JOHN HART: What?
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: Only this.
(The metal pyramid opens to reveal a bright metal piece inside. The three-piece base
spreads, separates and twists.)
JOHN HART: No, no, no.
(The bright metal piece inside floats out and changes into a circular disc with clamps.)
JOHN HART: No, no, no, no, no. There’s got to be a diamond. It's all about the
diamond! What the hell is tha ...
(the disc ZOOMS and attaches itself to John’s chest, the metal clamps embedding a
firm hold on him. A red light appears and it ticks. John staggers backward.)
(The Holographic Woman turns and smiles in his direction. John can’t remove it. It is
clamped securely to his chest.)
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: It's an explosive device, which will latch on to the DNA of whoever
killed me. It'll detonate in ten minutes.
(Always at the ready, Ianto takes out his stopwatch and starts the timer.)
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: It can't be removed without exploding, so don't bother trying.
Goodbye, lover.
JOHN HART: No, wait!
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: See you in hell.
(The hologram ends.)
GWEN: She can't be serious. Ten minutes.
JOHN HART: (shouts) Get it off me!
IANTO: Actually, nine minutes ... 50, 49, 48 ... always at the ready.
(He holds up the stopwatch.)
GWEN: Okay. How big is this explosion likely to be, Jack?
JACK: That technology, that size - big.
OWEN: So, we should really get him out of the city.
IANTO: Nine minutes 37.
JOHN HART: (turns to Jack) You've got to help me! Please.
(Jack stands up and faces him.)
JACK: Why?
(John punches Jack in the face, then grabs Gwen, twists her arms behind her back and pulls
her backward out the office door. Owen pulls his gun out.)
OWEN: Let her go!
JOHN HART: Get back! Back, back off! Get back!
INT. THE HUB – WORKSTATIONS -- CONTINUOUS
(Everyone has their guns out and follows John out of the office.)
GWEN: Jack, help me!
JOHN HART: Get back!
(He lets her go as the handcuffs snap shut around her wrist. She looks at her left wrist
handcuffed to his right wrist.)
GWEN: What've you done?!
JOHN HART: It's ... uh ... hypersteel, impermeable, deadlock sealed. No way to undo
them. Unless you have this key.
(He shows them a key, then puts it in his mouth and swallows it.)
(She grabs him by his throat.)
GWEN: You are unbelievable!
JOHN HART: And yet, you still find me strangely attractive. Now YOU had better find
a solution pronto or she'll be blown up with me!
OWEN: Would shooting him stop the DNA trigger?
JACK: (puts a hand on Owen’s shoulder to stay him) No.
JOHN HART: So! What are we gonna do now, team? The orgy's still on offer, by the
way. Especially now the cuffs are out.
IANTO: Nine minutes, four seconds.
GWEN: Tosh? The rift predictor program, have you perfected yet?
TOSHIKO: Pretty much.
JOHN HART: What?
GWEN: Anything in the next few minutes?
(Toshiko heads for her computer to check.)
JACK: Gwen, no way.
(Jack looks at Gwen.)
JOHN HART: What’s she talking about?
(Jack shakes his head.)
GWEN: If we're in the rift when that disc explodes, the city will be safe.
JOHN HART: How does that save us?
GWEN: It doesn't.
IANTO: Eight thirty-two ... thirty-one...
JOHN HART: You're bluffing.
GWEN: (dead serious) Try me.
TOSHIKO: The car park where he arrived. The crack in the rift is still active up
there.
GWEN: That's where we're going.
(Gwen grabs John and pulls him after her as she leaves the workstation areas.)
JOHN HART: (shouts) Somebody better start doing something!
(Ianto and Toshiko follow. Jack starts to follow, but Owen stops him.)
IANTO: (o.s.) Cut his hand off!
TOSHIKO: (o.s.) That would activate the bomb.
(Owen grabs Jack’s arm and motions him toward the autopsy area.)
OWEN: Come on, come on.
GWEN: (o.s.) Don't make me pull you! Get up the stairs! Now!
(Gwen pulls John after her. Ianto and Toshiko follow them out.)
INT. HUB – AUTOPSY BAY – CONTINUOUS
REVERSE VIEW INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR -- Owen takes out a tray of vials filled with blood
samples.
SERIES OF CUTS:
(He puts the tray on the counter and starts pulling out vials of blood. He hands one to
Jack, who adds it to a vial he’s holding.)
(Owen pulls out another vial, uncaps it and hands it to Jack to add it to the mixture.)
(Owen pulls another vial out labeled "IANTO, JONES." Jack uncaps it and adds it
to the mixture.)
(CUT TO: Owen starts the machine to mix the blood.)
EXT. VARIOUS CARDIFF (STOCK) -- DAY
(ZOOM out and up from the city.)
INT. TORCHWOOD SUV (TRAVELING) – DAY
(Ianto monitors the time.)
IANTO: Five minutes, twenty-two seconds.
(Gwen is driving. Toshiko is working on the computer in the back seat.)
TOSHIKO: I can't find the frequency the device works on. There’s no chance of
jamming it!
GWEN: What happened to Jack? He should be here.
JOHN HART: What I've been saying all along, unreliable.
GWEN: Shut up!
(As they drive, John sees a couple of young women walking along the sidewalk.)
JOHN HART: Think I'm starting to see what he likes about this place. (He sees a
woman and a man walking.) She's beautiful, he's stunning.
GWEN: Don't you ever stop?
JOHN HART: What five minutes to live, you want me to behave? (He sees something off
screen.) Oh, that's gorgeous.
GWEN: That's a poodle.
JOHN HART: That's nice.
INT. HUB – AUTOPSY AREA -- DAY
(Owen stops the machine and grabs the mixed canister. Jack picks up a syringe.)
JACK: (holds it up) This better work.
OWEN: (holds it up) Trust me, I'm an improviser.
(They head out.)
EXT. GARAGE – ROOFTOP -- DAY
(The Torchwood SUV arrives at the top of the garage rooftop where John Hart first
appeared. It comes to a screeching halt.)
(Gwen gets out of the car. She pulls John out behind her. Ianto and Toshiko get out of the
SUV.)
GWEN: Out! GET OUT!
JOHN HART: Ow, ow! I do love a woman who's rough.
IANTO: Fifty-one seconds.
(Gwen looks out and waits for the rift. A golden gaseous light appears – faint at
first, then larger and larger.)
JOHN HART: You're not really gonna sacrifice yourself, are you?
IANTO: Forty-five seconds.
GWEN: We have to go.
(Gwen starts toward the rift and pulls John along with her.)
JOHN HART: (protesting) No! What about a last-minute rescue? What’s the point
of being on a team if you don't get a last-minute rescue!
IANTO: Forty seconds!
GWEN: Tell –
(She turns to look at Ianto and Toshiko.)
GWEN: Tell Jack ... Tell Jack, I ...
(The screeching tires of a car approaching sounds. They turn and see the red convertible
speed out of the entrance. Jack is driving.)
(The car stops. Owen gets out of the car, holding his injured side and running toward
them. Jack jumps out of the car, the syringe between his teeth.)
IANTO: Thirty seconds.
(He grabs the syringe and runs toward them.)
JOHN HART: Er, what's he doing?
(Jack tackles them both and they slam backward to the concrete. Jack stabs the syringe
needle directly into his chest, injecting him with the blood mixture.)
JOHN HART: Agh! Get off me!
(John grabs his wrist and pulls him off. After the syringe is emptied into him, Jack lets
go and backs away. He waits for a reaction.)
JACK: Owen, it's not working.
IANTO: Fifteen seconds!
(Gwen kneels next to John.)
GWEN: What are you doing?!
OWEN: Trying to confuse the disc!
JACK: Why hasn't it worked?
OWEN: I don't know!
IANTO: Twelve seconds!
TOSHIKO: Jack, do something!
(Gwen grabs John by his shirt and yanks him up. She looks back at Jack.)
GWEN: I've gotta go, Jack.
(Jack reaches down and grabs John to help her when –
CLICK-CLICK!
-- they pull John to his feet and the disc falls off.)
IANTO: Five ... Four ...
(Jack picks up the disc --
IANTO: Three ...
(Owen turns and grabs Toshiko, pushing her back toward the cars.)
IANTO: Two ...
-- and hurls it into the rift!)
IANTO: One!
(The disc enters the rift.)
IANTO: Go!
(It explodes! Owen, Toshiko and Ianto take cover behind the cars.)
(Jack turns and starts running with Gwen and John.)
JACK: Run!
(The explosion rips out of the rift – light, sound, and time --
(The force of the explosion lifts Jack, Gwen and John clear off the pavement. They hit the
ground.)
-- and day is now NIGHT.)
(They turn around and look back at where the rift was. Jack looks at his watch. Everything
is quiet.)
JACK: What the hell?
GWEN: Jack, what's going on? Why's it gone dark?
JACK: The rift's reverted to the moment he came through. Everything's jumped back
to the beginning of the night.
GWEN: Like you were never here.
(Owen, Toshiko and Ianto return and join them.)
JACK: Now we've got to avoid ourselves, great!
JOHN HART: It's a temporal displacement! Makes your tongue tingle, doesn't it?
Lovely!
GWEN: (to Owen) What was in the syringe?
OWEN: Torchwood DNA.
GWEN: What?
OWEN: DNA samples from the five of us, fused and injected into his heart.
Temporarily corrupted his DNA coding, confused the disc.
JOHN HART: You mean, there's a bit of all of you inside of me? Sweet goddesses,
that's all I need.
GWEN: Thank you, Owen.
OWEN: You're welcome.
JACK: (to John) I want you gone.
GWEN: Well, we've got to work out a way to get these off first.
(She holds up her handcuffed wrist.)
JOHN HART: Actually ...
(He motions her closer. With a sly look at Jack, he tilts his head back, reaches down into
the back of his mouth, gags a little, and pulls out a key.)
JOHN HART: Old Artesian trick. (to Gwen) Keep it in the lining of the throat. Has a
lot of uses.
GWEN: You had that all along?
JOHN HART: You were my passport to survival. (He unlocks the handcuffs.) No hard
feelings. Well, not in that sense.
(Gwen takes a step back and slugs him once in the face, hard. And all the guys feel it
with him.)
OWEN: Oh!
(Gwen backs away from John, who is holding the side of his mouth. Ianto looks absolutely
stunned. Jack chuckles with amusement. Owen puts a hand on Gwen’s shoulder.)
IANTO: Remind me never to get on your bad side.
(Jack holds out his hand to John.)
JACK: (clears throat) Ahem!
(They look at each other. John reaches into his jacket pocket and gives Jack his wristband
back. Owen has his arm around Gwen’s shoulders.)
(Jack looks at his wristband.)
JACK: Definitely bigger.
(He secures it back on his wrist.)
JOHN HART: If you need a new team member ...
JACK: No.
JOHN HART: Really? I could. ..
JACK: No.
JOHN HART: But ...
JACK: No. Go now, and you can harness the residual rift energy.
JOHN HART: Listen ...
JACK: Goodbye.
JOHN HART: Okay.
(John grabs Jack and kisses him. He takes a step back and pats him on his chest. He heads
for the rift. He presses a button on his wrist band and the golden gaseous light appears.)
(As the gaseous light engulfs him --
JOHN HART: Oh! By the way ... I meant to tell you. (serious) I found Gray.
ZOOM IN on Jack’s stunned face.
QUICK CUTS OF: A white light and a child’s hand slipping out of the adult’s
hand. A man yelling and a child screaming in the background.
ON JACK – absolutely devastated.
(Toshiko, Gwen, Owen and Ianto step up behind him.)
(John watches his reaction, turns and disappears into the gold light. The rift vanishes.)
GWEN: Who's Gray?
(Jack’s back is to them. He takes a moment to answer, still processing that bit of
information. He takes several breaths and shakes his head a little.)
JACK: It's nothing. Let's get back to work.
(With the team following behind him, Jack turns and heads out straight toward the camera.)
SMASH CUT TO:
[TITLE LOGO]
INSERT: PREVIEW FOR NEXT EPISODE
ROLL END CREDITS
FADE TO BLACK.
==========================
END OF EPISODE
==========================
Transcript by intrepid
Beta: DianeM
Contact the Transcriptionist at intrepidly002@yahoo.com
As a courtesy, do not archive this transcript without written permission from the Transcriptionist.
==========================
TITLE/OPENING CREDITS
==========================
TORCHWOOD
2X01: KISS KISS, BANG BANG
ORIGINAL AIR DATE IN UK: 01/16/2008
TRANSCRIBED FROM UK (DL)
Starring:
JOHN BARROWMAN as Captain Jack Harkness
EVE MYLES as Gwen Cooper
BURN GORMAN as Owen Harper
NAOKO MORI as Toshiko Sato
GARETH DAVID-LLOYD as Ianto Jones
Created by: RUSSELL T DAVIES
Producer: RICHARD STOKES
Written by: CHRIS CHIBNALL
Directed by: ASHLEY WAY
==========================
END CREDITS
==========================
CAST & CREW
JOHN BARROWMAN as Captain Jack Harkness
EVE MYLES as Gwen Cooper
BURN GORMAN as Owen Harper
NAOKO MORI as Toshiko Sato
GARETH DAVID-LLOYD as Ianto Jones
KAI OWEN as Rhys Williams
JAMES MARSTERS as Captain John Hart
MENNA TRUSSLER as Old Woman
PAUL KASEY as Blowfish
CRISPIN LAYFIELD as Mugger
NATHAN RYAN as Victim
INIKA LEIGH WRIGHT as Hologram Woman
SARAH WHYTE as Teenage Girl
Co-Producer: CHRIS CHIBNALL
1st Assistant Director: NICK BROWN
2nd Assistant Director: LYNSEY MUIR
3rd Assistant Director: PAUL BENNETT
Location Manager: NICKEY JAMES
Production Manager: STEFFAN MORRIS
Production Co-ordinator: HANNAH SIMPSON
Continuity: HEULWEN JONES
Script Editor: BRIAN MINCHIN
Camera Operator: JAMES MOSS
Focus Puller: CHRIS REYNOLDS
Gafer: JOHN TRUCKLE
Supervising Art Director: KEITH DUNNE
Standby Art Director: BEVERLEY GERARD
Props Master: STUART WOODDISSE
Set Decorator: ADRIAN ANSCOMBE
Construction Manager: MATTHEW HYWEL-DAVIES
Graphics: BBC WALES GRAPHIC DESIGN
Costume Supervisor: CHARLOTTE MITCHELL
Make-up Supervisor: CLAIRE PRITCHARD JONES
Stunt Co-ordinator: TOM LUCY
Stunt Performer: CURTIS RIVERS
Casting Associate: ANDY BRIERLEY
Post Production Supervisors: HELEN VALLIS / CHRIS BLATCHFORD
Post Production Co-ordinator: MARIE BROWN
Colourist: MICK VINCENT
Dubbing Mixer: TIM RICKETTS
Supervising Sound Editor: DOUG SINCLAIR
Sound FX Editor: HOWARD EAVES
Casting Director: ANDY PRYOR CDG
Production Accountant: CERI TOTHILL
Sound Recordist: JEFF MATTHEWS
Series Designer: JULIAN LUXTON
Costume Designer: RAY HOLMAN
Make-Up Designer: MARIE DORIS
Music: MURRAY GOLD
Prosthetics: MILLENNIUM EFFECTS
Visual Effects: THE MILL
Visual Effects Producer: MARIE JONES
VIS Effects Supervisor: BARNEY CURNOW
Special Effects: ANY EFFECTS
Editor: WILLIAM WEBB
Production Designer: EDWARD THOMAS
Director of Photography: SIMON BUTCHER
Production Executive: JULIE SCOTT
Associate Producer: CATRIN LEWIS DEFIS
Executive Producer: RUSSELL T DAVIES
Executive Producer: JULIE GARDNER
A BBC Wales Production
bbc.co.uk/torchwood
(c) BBC MMVIII
Dated:02/10/2008~lky
Go here to return to the main Doctor Who transcripts page.
Go here to return to Anna's main page.