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Running time : 10:14
First transmitted : 1st August 1985


(Another six blasts, followed by another, much louder, explosion.)

Barton : Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggh. I'm awfully sorry sir, but I'm feeling rather unwell.

Doctor : Reposition yourself. Move away from the gunfire.

Barton : I'm afraid sir that the only position I can adopt is a horizontal one.

(Barton falls over)

Doctor : I'm sorry about this, but my friend has had to withdraw from the game.

Grant : Just keep your hands where I can see them, otherwise you'll be joining him.

2. Computer System

Computer : Are you there? The drone's been damaged!

Main Comp : Deactivate his conditioning circuit. I see no reason why the Time Lord shouldn't learn the truth.

Computer : Do you think that's wise?

Main Comp : Whatever the drone tells him will only feed his curiosity. That will be enough to deliver him into my hands.

3. The Ducting

Seedle : As a rule miss I'm quite keen on exercise, but strolling up and down dark, dusty ducting is not the most agreeable way of getting it!

Peri : Well it's difficult to say precisly where he was. It all looks the same, especially now that bulkhead door's been opened.

Seedle : I'm afraid miss that if you're going to invent your senario will have to become considerably more plausable than it is at the moment.

Peri : I'm telling the truth.

Snatch : You must co-operate miss, my collegue has a history of violently attacking people.

Seedle : I have beaten my fists raw on some of the finest criminals in the galaxy.

Peri : A-are you policemen?

Seedle : Certainly not miss! You'll just have to accept the somewhat implausable story that we are environment inspectors.

4. Ducting

Grant : No gun. You must be feeling confident.

Doctor : Never carry one. Causes my pockets to bulge, ruins the cut of my coat.

Grant : How did you get onto me? Thought I'd managed to cover my tracks quite carefully.

Doctor : I'm sorry but I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Grant : Oh come off it, I know you're the police!

Barton : There you are mistaken sir-

Grant : Shut up! You must be the police, otherwise the computer would have reported your presence.

Doctor : I'm afraid the logic of that statement defeats me.

Barton : The police often carry devices to confuse the sensors of survellance computers, sir. It allows them to abuse their authority by entering prohibited areas undetected.

Doctor : When you searched me did you find such a device?

Grant : No. So why didn't the computer report you?

Doctor : I think that's a question best put to her. That is after you've explained why you were so keen to see me dead.

5. The ducting

Seedle : You know Snatch, I think we've uncovered a den of iniquity here. When we've sorted this little lot out, there could be promotion all 'round.

Peri : Well, apart from falling on your friend here, what else am I supposed to have done?

Snatch : Several important art treasures have been stolen from various planets this ship has visited. We are looking for the person or persons concerned.

Peri : And you're still denying you're policemen?

Seedle : It's your credentials that are in question miss, not ours.

Peri : Alright, have it your own way, but I have nothing to do with the theft of any art treasures

Seedle : Really miss? Then it won't distress you to know that we are in possession of a gangmember's name.

Peri : Well if you know who this man is, why don't you go to the Captain?

Seedle : Heh, hardly miss, he may be involed in the crime himself.

Snatch : Tell her the name sir, we'll know if she's lying.

Seedle : I think for once you could be right lad. The name is Shellingborne Grant.

6. Ducting

Doctor : Well Mr Grant, it's fortunate for you I am not a policeman, neither am I particullary concerned by your petty activities, I'll leave that to the proper authorities.

Grant : A somewhat pompous statement considering I still have the gun.

Doctor : I don't care, I have more important things to argue.

Grant : Like what?

Doctor : Someone on board this ship is illegally experimenting with time.

Grant : Can't be, impossible.

Doctor : It's a fact. Now who might possess the necessary skills?

Grant : No-one, apart from the engineering staff who are drunk most of the time. The only scientific members of the crew are anthropologists, geologists, that sort of thing.

Doctor : Are you sure?

Grant : This is a census ship. We're making a galactic survey of all the known inhabited planets. How else d'you think I got close enough to steal priceless works of art?

Doctor : Could be there on official business.

7. The ducting

Seedle : Come on miss.

Peri : I don't know who this Shellingborne Grant is.

Seedle : Then tell me the name of this Doctor.

Peri : I don't know that either! How many times must I say it?

Seedle : How miss can you speak to someone on a regular basis without knowing their name?

Peri : I only know him as 'the Doctor', he's always maintained I wouldn't be able to pronounce his name.

Seedle : This is indeed a man of mystery.

Peri : Well what does it matter? He isn't Shellingborne Grant.

Seedle : But how can you be certain miss, paticulary as he refuses to tell you his name?

Peri : Because he doesn't lie!

Seedle : Such perversion, I'm beginning to find this all a bit strange Snatch.

Snatch : I think we should look further sir, he can't have got far.

8. Ducting

(A regular thumping sound. It stops)

Doctor : There has to be someone on board capable of time experiments. Think man, think!

Grant : I am thinking!

Doctor : The drone. Are you still functioning? Come on, don't expire yet!

(The Doctor kicks the drone)

Doctor : Oh.

Barton : I do beg you pardon sir, I was composing my epitaph.

Doctor : Where were you supposed to take me?

Barton : The Solar Lounge sir, I always collect two for afternoon tea at about this time sir.

Grant : Oh he's rambling.

(The Doctor kicks Barton.)

Doctor : Come on! Hang on to your memory circuits! What's the name of this ship?

Grant : The Vipod Mor.

Doctor : Drone, where were you taking me?

Barton : To the next level sir. A specially concealed compartment has been constructed to hide you sir.

Doctor : Location?

Barton : Near bulkhead door 681, sir.

Grant : There is such bulkhead.

Doctor : We're getting somewhere at last. And who gave you these instructions?

Barton : the source of all my orders sir. The computer.

Doctor (to Grant) : Come on, I want to have a look at this room.

9. The ducting

Snatch : This ducting goes on forever sir.

Seedle : And you have a knack of stating the obvious Snatch.

Snatch : Sorry sir.

Peri : Well here's another dilemma for you: stairs. Do we go up or down?

Seedle : Well these aren't the stairs we came up, are they?

Snatch : No sir, they were at the other end of the ducting.

(Barton faintly moans)

Snatch (whispering) : What's that?

Seedle : I think we should investigate.

Snatch : It could be a trap sir.

Seedle : Villains poised to pounce rarely advertise their presense lad.

Snatch : Sorry sir.

Seedle (to Barton) : Now then, may I enquire what you are doing, lurking on the stairs in such a disorderly manner?

Barton : Hello boys! (notices Peri) I do beg your pardon madam.

Peri : Oh don't bother about me, I'm just one of the gang.

Snatch : He's been damaged by gunfire sir.

Seedle : Really? (to Barton) And what have you been up to?

Barton : It's no fun being a service maintainance drone sir.

Seedle : Nah, we'll get no sense from him. Put the thing out of it's misery.

Snatch : Just a moment sir. (to Barton) Who did this to you?

Barton : A laser pistol.

Snatch : I said who, not what.

Barton : A fight.

Snatch : Between whom?

Barton : Me, Doctor, Grant.

Seedle : Doctor Grant eh?

Peri : That isn't true.

Seedle (To Peri) : Shut up! (To Barton) And where is Doctor Grant now?

Barton : Next... level... down...

10. Ducting

Doctor : Here we are.

Grant : I can't see anything.

Doctor : There. That fine line is the edge of the door. Ah! This must be the opening mechanism.

(Bleeping of buttons being pressed. The door opens.)

Doctor : You wait here, I'd better go in alone.

Grant : Leave the door open, y-you know, just in case.

11. Compartment

Doctor : Hello? Hellooo?

(Computer bleeps)

Computer : Well hello there! I hope you like your room.

Doctor : Very tasteful.

(The door closes.)

Doctor : Wha.

Computer : Sorry about that, there was a terrible draft, I'd hate if you catch a chill after all the trouble I've gone to to get you here.

(A throbbing noise can be heard.)

Doctor : Why, that noise?

Computer : You heard it in a dream not long ago. (the Computer voice changes to that of the Main Comp) A voice calling to you from afar.

(The throbbing begins to slowly intensify)

Doctor : That's right (The throbbing begins to affect him.) Huh? W-w-what's happening? D-you're hurting me! A-ah!

Main Comp : Thought transference, Doctor. I'm inside your head.

(The throbbing begins to really build up.)

Doctor : I can't stand the pain. Your presence is too powerful.

Main Comp : I am only interested in your knowledge concerning time travel. Your personal secrets are safe.

(The throbbing is loud and fast)

Doctor : Y-you must reduce you presence.

Main Comp : Co-operate and the pain will cease!

(The throbbing reaches it's maximum level.)

Doctor : You don't understand! you're des-troying me! You're destroying my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!


Move on to the Next Episode

The Doctor




Captain Slarn



Computer Voices

Studio Managers

Production Secretary

Sound Effects

Incidental Music


Transcribed by
Cameron Mason
6th February 2001

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