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Links For Fucked Bliss

Note: I've just looked at this page again after neglecting it for nine years and found that it's mostly a garden of dead links. It should be wholly rewritten, but for now I've mostly just cleared away the worst of the weeds. If you'd like me to update it properly, please pass some links on to me.

Fucked Backdrops

Like any good fungus, a fucked relationship must have the right environment.

For a starter kit for that grotty, between-the-toes grit kind of feel, check out the Great Mobile Homes of Mississippi page.

If you want a messed-up place for your children, you may still be able to get one of the apartments which were featured in the Los Angeles Times. Someone rented out up to 20 rooms in an abandoned inner-city hospital. Along with the apartments, which went for $300 to $400 a month, was a children's play area, said a tenant. This was the former operating room, which still contained syringes, old equipment, and dried blood on the floor. Various social service agencies have been working to relocate the tenants, so there should be space available, as long as you don't tell anyone where you live.

Finding the Fucker

Once you have all the comforts of home as a backdrop for your fucked relationship, you may want a relationship. It's not enough to be like Janet Downes, the Bellevue, Nebraska, woman who decided to marry herself on her 40th birthday. So here are some suggestions of where to begin looking.

One hint is to start close to home. You could do worse than start with the thoughts featured at the Cousin Couples site, which bills itself as 'the world's primary information and support network for and about romantic relationships among cousins'. To show what happens with inbreeding, they offer a poetry section. Although this isn't the same as marrying one's sibling or mother, it is a start. Add some of the factors below to enhance your fuckedness.

Several men have devoted websites to their search for women. Among these are a chosen few which reach such self-absorbed triteness that they are both a good read and guaranteed to which fuck up what they touch. It's not just members of the public, either. For example, actor Tom Arnold could be found begging for female contact via marrytom.com . I thought he had had plenty of female with former wife Roseanne Barr, but perhaps not.

For the more male among you, yes, there are women [IMG: Spokesblob for acceptance of the large: enough to feed me for a few weeks] available. You no longer need to annoy the sheep and (urban legend alert) the cows' nostrils. If you haven't heard of Teighlor, you have probably been living in a paradise of lithe, skinny women, of the sort once to be found on the 'Anorexic-Rec' site (which even featured Bergen-Belsen photos in its fulsome praise of the emaciated look).. Not that there aren't fucked-up skinny-populated relationships, but I think you will agree that the woman pictured here is a good start.
...And she wants a man like YOU to gnaw on her earlobe/thigh. Her advertisement for a man to share her ample life with reminded us 'All this could be yours if you are my knight in shining armor!'.

And if you are the lucky man, you can buy her all the things she needs to stay happy... at Amplestuff's online store. They have special brushes for reaching those hard-to-reach places, special clothes hangers, devices designed to make using the toilet and showering less of an ordeal, etc.

If you don't want to co-loathe with a fat lady, how about an amputee straight from Russia? The folks at Frantana - who may have followed their Web site into oblivion - hope(d) their Russian amputee introduction service will bring lovely handicapped women together with caring Western men, but that needn't stop you, the fetishist, from making one of these lovely women's lives hellacious and fucked-up. The site helpfully categorised women by available limbs, one category being 'peg leg'.
For those of you who seek a fucked-up situation to exploit, you can begin with the many mail order bride services available - in your spam or on the Web.

Going through separation proceedings, available for the first time in quite a while, quite a find awaits you each day in the amazing morphin' plastic lady. Jocelyne Wildenstein's husband has given his wife the little tokens of affection which she desired, little things like a nose job, a facelift or five, a tuck here or there. But she is now on the market again. You probably want to click on the picture for a fuller view of the horror who is pictured at the centre. You can find more pictures of the lass on this page.

If you have a less conventional view of beauty, you may get off on the images online of women with beards - some genuine and others involving the application of facial hair to women for sensitive photography aimed at 'a new way of looking at ambitions, sex, love and reproduction', as one artist put it. No matter how silly the images, they remind the viewer that a little facial hair needn't doom a relationship.

For those of you who like to watch human train wrecks on television, you can probably do worse than reruns of Jerry Springer's offerings to the world. Please let me know if you discover any Springer transcripts online.

There are also a few sites devoted to the fine art of stalking. I don't refer here to the boring stalking paraphernalia which can be found in the back of Popular Mechanics and at the spy shop on the corner. If anyone finds a particularly fucked-up one, either showing police documents or - better still - containing a stalker's own chronicling of his/her work, please let me know your vote.

The Fucking Consequences

Two dysfunctional people in dysfunctional bliss isn't enough. The more people to fuck up the better. Here we give you some ideas for raising your monsters in your image.

First off, it's en vogue at the moment to neglect your offspring. Here's a start. But you could just leave them to become a nice crispy golden brown in your car while you do your shopping or adapt other news stories to fit your needs.

There's always the option of being so fat that you don't notice that you're pregnant. Drop the baby in a public loo, perhaps with a little note which reads (paraphrased) 'This is a baby. I can't take care of it. Can you please help?'. If the child doesn't survive, you will need to try again. It doesn't count if your parent and boyfriends are the only ones who are scarred by the experience.

Eventually, you may become so practiced at sprogging that you can reach the standard achieved by the most fertility-drug-crazed wannabe parents, whether you choose to bear fuctuplets or to go one or two at a time a couple of dozen times.
I have not provided URLs for septuplet fan clubs, but their beauty can be known to you through a search engine.
Once you drop your litter, don't forget the advertisements in which the lucky children can appear. Multiple birth display opportunities and talent searches will leave the world thankful for the fuckage.

There are several good ways to mess up your offspring. Exhibit A is 'How To Potty Train You Child', Demonbuster style.

And then there are all the beauty pageants and photo contests to which you can subject a child. The 'hooker' clothing style nicely accentuates the childlike beauty of a child. For a guide to how to pimp your child, you could do worse than the sites of child beauty pageant contestants. Aiding in many of the photos of these pre-teens are 'jellies' (false breasts), spray tanning, wigs, and false eyelashes. Even if the paeodphiles stay away, therapists' bills are still likely to follow at some point. The (now defunct) 'Jessi the Kid' site offered this hypocritical extract from its 'rules':
IMPORTANT - Please treat my daughter with respect.

You can always breastfeed your offspring for a few years extra. More on this can be found elsewhere on these pages, but here suffice it to say that some have managed this well past the child's tenth birthday.

That may not mess the kid up totally, though, so you might want to make sure the father or some other chap lactates. You may laugh, but some people take this seriously, although their pages are often quickly pulled. Here is one 'male lactation' article. More information can be had via your favourite search engine.

If you try having a baby and it doesn't quite work out, you can still keep trying. 'With having had a baby with a neural tube defect, would anyone want to take the risk of using my eggs? Does anyone know the criteria?' was found at http://members.nbci.com/StumpyNZ/roo/, a site making the most private grieving public. Before trying again, best to work with what one has. These people cleaned up, dressed, and photographed their 146-gram stillborn baby (we know the weight from the post-mortem reprinted for the viewer of the site). Sadly, the Baby Roo site is no longer with us, neither all the cute angel pictures nor the contents of the 'Gallery'. For some idea, one can look at the various pages that make use of services such as those of http://www.babyphotoretouch.com/.

Since such pages are now seen much more commonly online, one might want to add a special twist. In addition to the usual angel images and so on, a page called 'Jeremy's Story' describes how the baby's premature birth and other problems were followed by the child's death at eight weeks of age - at the hands of his father, who crushed his skull when he was crying loudly. The mother comments: 'I wish I had half the strength that baby had'. We'll let you judge for yourself whether that would have been a good thing.

Of course, it adds even more if other children can be messed up by the whole business. For example, there was a page (http://www.geocities.com/mljpburgess/funeral.html) where the parents had the stillborn baby's sibling pose tenderly with the corpse for all the Internet to see. If you want a roll-your-own fucked relationship, make sure to ask the child about it in a few years, repeatedly.
There are various similar pages, some of them linked to from the stillborns' wall of fame on this page.

After the baby is born, you need to bond, starting things off in a fucked fashion. People who pretend to be getting back in touch with their roots may bury the placenta or frame it or eat it. Some placenta recipes are here.

Fucked Pastimes

You needn't be dissatisfied in your relationship in order for it to be considered fucked.

If you're ever tempted to think the above statement incorrect, you need only look unblinkingly at the 'Goatse man'...

After Joey Mellen bored a hole in his skull, his companion Amanda was so inspired by the change in him that she decided 'to join him on the mental plane by doing her own trepanation', we read on this Web page. The couple show the film of Amanda's self-trepanation, titled Heartbeat in the Brain, at parties.

If you like cross-dressing but find it somewhat mundane, you could try age play or dominance and submission, as 'Lil Janelle' has, but he has added a new twist: simulated pregnancy. From his Web page: 'The longest time I have simulated pregnancy so far is 10 1/8 days. (You get a great waddle in that amount of time).' The page also featured pictures of this pregnant cross-dressing man. One such image is presented here. This guy also keeps/kept journals of his pregnancy simulations.

Some sexual kinks are considered by many to be hallmarks of a fucked relationship. Japanese vomit-eating videos and extreme bondage do not appeal to everyone, so it is easy to deem relationships involving them fucked. But remember when you decide to explore homemade chastity belts that these things are no substitute for a properly fucked relationship, although they may add a bit of spice to one.

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© 2000-2009 Anna Shefl