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July 2020


20 July 2020

While officers were on their way to a street where a naked man had been running around and hitting passing vehicles, Kentucky's Daviess County Sheriff's Office received another call, about a nearby home invasion – by a mud-caked naked man. Officers report that, when he ran toward them while shouting, they subdued him with a stun gun and handcuffed him. Undeterred, he jumped up a few moments later and rushed forward, earning himself further subduing. When questioned, he insisted that he'd only been playing a virtual-reality game – with Jesus, with whom he'd taken mushrooms.
That game left broken glass, holes in the home's drywall, and blood-smeared walls and windows. It also produced a long charge sheet.

Oregon's Randy Lee Cooper was driving a stolen car at speed through downtown Newberg, in efforts to evade pursuit. The chase ended near a junction, where he ran into another car. Officers arrested him and, as a bonus, the inebriated driver of the other vehicle, Kristin Nicole Begue. It turned out that both cars in the crash were stolen.

Walliul Islam, a general surgeon in the Indian state of Assam, described the case of a man with severe abdominal pain who told hospital staff that he'd eaten a pair of earphones five days earlier. Even with laxatives, the cable didn't emerge, and endoscopy revealed nothing. Walliul said: &lsquot;As the patient complained of severe pain, we decided to perform surgery and found that there was nothing in his intestine.&rsquot; X-rays did reveal the issue, however: a 65 cm charging cable in the patient's bladder. Doctors were able to remove the mobile-phone charger cable he had shoved into his urethra.

A driver near the Estonian village of Kadrina spotted the police closing in and climbed into the back seat, his drunken logic being that if nobody is behind the wheel, surely nobody can be charged with being intoxicated while in control of a motor vehicle... With nobody in control of it, the Audi lurched another 200 metres, back and forth down the road, before coming to a stop and allowing officers to make a 2.5 per mille alcohol measurement. Criminal charges have been filed.

In other Estonian alcohol news, a drunken man on the island of Naissaar fell and hit his head, so a police boat conveyed him to medics on the mainland. Since the inebriated man was a ferry captain scheduled to carry 50 people back to Tallinn in the afternoon, the officers returned to the island to check on alternative arrangements. When the assistant captain offered to pilot the boat, they stepped in with breath tests and forbade this.
By this time, the captain had been treated and returned to Naissaar, so he offered to take over. A breath test dictated otherwise. Then, the police rang the ferry operator, asking them to send a sober captain. Later told that the person they'd sent wasn't, the boat's owner suggested that passengers wait until one of the three men could blow a 0.
In the end, a faster solution arrived. The captain of a recently arrived passenger boat &lsquot;quickly grasped the situation and helped the passengers stranded on the island back&rsquot; at no charge, according to Urmet Tambre, operations chief for the police's North Prefecture.

Switzerland's Basler Zeitung reports on an eight-year-old boy from Dietgen who attempted to pay with play money while visiting the village shop with his brother and the girl next door.
The boy handed over one of the joss-paper notes that had been thrown to children at a recent carnival – marked as euros but featuring blue Chinese characters – and asked whether he could pay for his purchase with it. Shop manager Tanja Baumann later said that corporate policy required calling in the police.
Accordingly, the boy's mug shot was taken for &lsquot;suspicion of counterfeit money being put into circulation&rsquot;, and officers removed all further joss money from the home. No charges have been filed, but he will still have a police record until at least 2032.

Federal prosecutors allege that six eBay executives grew tired of critical pieces in a Natick, Massachusetts, couple's community newsletter, such as &lsquot;eBay RICO Lawsuit Meant to Curb Seller Exodus to Amazon&rsquot;. What followed was a systematic attempt &lsquot;to emotionally and psychologically terrorize this middle-aged couple&rsquot;, according to US Attorney Andrew E. Lelling.
Evidence includes such text messages as &lsquot;We're going to crush this lady&rsquot; and the response &lsquot;Take her down&rsquot;, internal e-mail referring to &lsquot;Whatever. It. Takes.&rsquot;, recordings of an attempt to attach a tracker to the family vehicle, and tweeted promises to pay the couple a visit. And eBay arranged deliveries of such items as the book Grief Diaries: Surviving the Loss of a Spouse, a funeral wreath, pornography &lsquot;misdelivered&rsquot; to the husband's neighbours, and live spiders.
eBay reports that it has since terminated its senior director of safety and security, its director of global resiliency, a former police officer on its payroll, and others.

Police in Norfolk, Nebraska, were recently summoned to deal with a car that was idling in early-morning traffic without any lights on. After waking the driver, 38-year-old Julio W. Monterroso Perez, officers noticed a glass pipe of white material between his legs and asked him to step from the vehicle. He refused, multiple times. In the ensuing struggle, he inadvertently knocked the car from park into drive.
Another officer managed to stop the moving vehicle, and an arrest followed. So did tests of the material from the now-broken pipe, along with methamphetamine-related and several other charges.

Canada's Glen Richard Mousseau, 49, was pulled over while driving a U-Haul van near various crossing points along the Canadian border. Mousseau told officers that he knew nothing about the bin liner in back, containing $97,060 in cash, and had been merely following GPS co-ordinates supplied by his contacts. He added that authorities had torpedoed his smuggling submarine about a month earlier.
He was arrested but vanished while staying at a hotel as his court date approached, a day after agreeing to act as an informant. He left behind a suitcase that contained stolen identification documents and a drysuit. A short while later, federal agents spotted people throwing large tethered bundles from a nearby boat in the Detroit River. After recovery of the two 60-kilo bundles, officers identified their contents as marijuana and identified the unconscious man at the other end of the tow rope as Mousseau. He faces upward of 10 years in prison.

A woman from Beaver, West Virginia, was displeased with the notion of spending 10 years in prison after she admitted to filing fraudulent applications with US Veterans Affairs authorities in February. About two weeks before 44-year-old Julie Wheeler's scheduled sentencing, her family reported her missing, stating that she had fallen from a cliff at Grandview State Park while searching for a lost earring. Helicopters, river-combers, and rapellers were called in, to no avail.
Days after her husband Rodney stated &lsquot;I am holding out hope that she will be found and she is OK&rsquot;, his wish came true – sort of. She was found in a closet at the family home. Both adult Wheelers face charges of faking her death and planting false evidence at the scenic overlook. Julie may be looking at more than 10 years now.

Pennsylvania's Andrea Isabell said that her husband wondered why the water damage from Tropical Storm Fay had left a sticky residue rather than just dark spots on their walls. She recounts that when &lsquot;we were brave and smelled it, he said "This is honey – this is honey pouring down our walls&rsquot;". A little sniffing around led them to the walls near the top of the building, where only the occasional solitary bee had previously been spotted. Isabell has booked an extraction operation. She said that, while her three sons &lsquot;were wondering if we could set a tap up so we could just pour honey on our yogurt and granola in the morning&rsquot;, the bees need a home where &lsquot;they're safe and happy and not living with us&rsquot;.

The Chicago police's Brendan Deenihan described a case in which two teenagers outside a corner shop where they'd purchased sweets asked &lsquot;quite tall&rsquot; 19-year-old man Laroy Battle exactly how tall he was, musing that they hoped to grow that tall themselves. We will never know, because Battle took exception to the question and shot them each multiple times, including in the back. Both died in hospital.
The community supplied surveillance video footage and identified Battle, who faces two charges of first-degree murder.

Having judged the novel coronavirus to be a hoax and deeming diagnoses of it to be part of a conspiracy, Florida mother and registered nurse Carole Brunton Davis decided to take her immunocompromised daughter, Carsyn, to a church-sponsored &lsquot;COVID party&rsquot;. According to the medical examiner's report, the event, attended by 100+ mask-free children, left Carsyn with a telltale cough and headaches. When she did not improve, Davis initiated home treatment with azithromycin. That didn't help, so, when Carsyn &lsquot;looked gray&rsquot;, Carole attached the teenager to her grandfather's oxygen machine and then tried hydroxychloroquine, before finally taking the 17-year-old to a hospital for intensive care. Less than two days later, she was dead or, in her mother's words, &lsquot;pain free&rsquot;.

Reporting on a [IMG: Gay Pride zebra crossing defaced]&lsquot;very upsetting&rsquot; incident near the West Vancouver, Canada, police station, Constable Kevin Goodmurphy described &lsquot;a load and sustained tire squealing outside&rsquot;, followed by a driver pealing away at high speed. What they discovered was &lsquot;a gesture of hate on a crosswalk that stands for the exact opposite&rsquot; – someone had left tyre marks on a zebra crossing that had been painted in Gay Pride rainbow colours.
The driver has been identified in connection with this &lsquot;mischief to property&rsquot;. It is unclear whether there will be attempts to classify the action as a hate crime.

Witnesses in the Bronx report that a group of possibly drug-addled people ordered a woman to surrender her handbag and, when she refused, stabbed her and her companion, Roberto Perez. This left Perez walking around with a cleaver lodged in his head. A nearby security guard later remarked: &lsquot;I'm traumatized from seeing that. It looks like a scene out of a freaking movie&rsquot;, with witnesses' sense of surrealism being increased by the fact that Perez &lsquot;looked like he didn't even feel it&rsquot; and was calmly speaking with people before finally agreeing to board an ambulance.
Perez, 36, was listed as in stable condition at Harlem Hospital, thanks to the blade not passing through his skull.

In big-knife news from Florida, 25-year-old Justin Couch was arrested in connection with a machete attack in Hernando County. The victim reported that Couch kicked him out of a Tarrytown home &lsquot;for no reason&rsquot; and refused to even let him collect his mobile phone and wallet first. Couch allegedly emphasised his point by striking the other man in the arm and leg with the flat side of the blade until he passed out. Couch, who bears a machete-shaped facial tattoo, reportedly carried the victim to the home of a friend, who took him to hospital. It might come as little surprise that Couch has been charged with aggravated battery.

Responding to a call from Myrtle Beach's La Quinta Inn, South Carolina police found a young woman who explained that she'd invited a 19-year-old man to spend her birthday weekend with her but that he arrived early, to be with another woman, and that an argument ensued.
The man, identified as Jahiem, said that they were actually engaging in a threesome and that the birthday girl, &lsquot;Mary Jane&rsquot;, became upset at some point, pulled him from the other woman by his genitals, and threw him to the floor. What happened next isn't entirely clear, but Jahiem and Mary Jane left the hotel room and then complied with the hotel staff's request that they leave the premises also. The other woman allegedly smashed a bottle of liquor on the ground while Mary Jane was trying to ring the police, and Jahiem may have snatched her phone.
No charges have been filed.

A [IMG: Chex boxes on Korean shelves]Kellogg's marketing campaign in 2004 asked South Koreans to vote on which of two proposed new flavours of Chex breakfast cereal should be introduced as the &lsquot;president of the Chex Choco Empire&rsquot;. When a landslide vote gave the victory not to chocolate-flavoured Cheki but to green-onion-flavoured Chaka, the company terminated the PR campaign for their chocolate Chex product. Kellogg's Korea spokeswoman Kim Hee-yeon recalls that, since then, &lsquot;every time we launched new cereals or had promotional events, online communities would repeatedly ask for the [green onion] flavour&rsquot;.
Kellogg's have finally given in to public demand, with Kim trying to excuse the delay by saying that the company spent 15 years trying to perfect the flavour. One pilot taster, food blogger Lee Soo-jeong, who had voted for Chaka as a child, reports that green-onion Chex are too mild, however.

Two inmates at Rome's Rebibbia prison scaled a wall with the aid of a water hose left in a courtyard, but the pair, cousins Davad Zukanovic and Lil Ahmetovic, weren't in such a hurry that they abandoned common courtesy. They left a note explaining that they plan to return in about 15 days, which should provide enough time for them to deal with a personal matter, protecting their children from &lsquot;a nasty business they had got themselves into&rsquot;. The men specified that they couldn't leave this to their wives, since both women are in jail themselves.

British teenager Layani Maclean and her friends decided to film a TikTok video of themselves taking turns sitting in a baby swing. They ended up capturing footage of some of her 90-minute wait for freedom. Her mother, Charlie, attempted to free her with detergent, but it was ultimately firefighters who saved the day, at Charlie's behest. They removed the swing from its hinges and applied some liquid soap and elbow grease.

Pennsylvania's Devlin Robinson, who is currently running for the US Senate, reports finding a slightly traffic-beaten wallet in the street. Within was identification revealing its owner to be his opponent in the Senate race, incumbent Pam Iovino. He later summarised: &lsquot;She was thrilled to have it back and I was delighted to help out a fellow veteran.&rsquot;


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