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March 2025


11 March 2025

Our first story is local to me. Fleeing the scene of his mid-afternoon collision with a tram, a BMW-driver chose to climb onto a rooftop and, from there, into a treetop in front of the police station. The 32-year-old man, characterised by police field manager Teele Üksaeg as 'disoriented and having unpredictable behaviour', remained in the tree for roughly three hours while multiple emergency services assembled a negotiation team, a ladder truck, trampolines, and equipment for his largely involuntary recovery. Alcohol is not believed to have been involved.

A 10-year-old Australian boy recently suffered a freak cheese-toastie injury. While making himself a grilled-cheese sandwich in the family's kitchen, Mandurah's Landen Sturman fell backward onto a steel knife blade poking up from the open dishwasher. Neurosurgeons and orthopaedic physicians at Perth Children's Hospital safely extracted the blade, which they described as a 'millimetre's difference' from potential lifelong paralysis.

In a public appeal to the two thieves who contactlessly purchased cigarettes and lottery scratchcards at a local corner shop with his credit card, France's Jean-David Estele offered a 50/50 split of the 500,000-euro jackpot that the pair won before the clerk's eyes yet cannot legally claim. The 40-year-old Toulouse man told Radio RTL: 'Without me, they would not have won, but without them, I would not have bought this ticket.'
Despite solicitor Pierre Debuisson's insistence that Estele 'was very happy to have his credit card stolen in these circumstances and so is not looking to prosecute', no-one had come forward at last report, and the winnings are likely to be forfeit.

Getting a jump on the US 'DOGE', eastern China's Shuntian Chemical Group mass-mailed its 1,200 employees to announce a sweeping new policy. The mail stated that all workers aged 28-58 who are not married by the end of March must 'write a self-reflection', with those who remain single (or divorced without remarrying) past 30 June facing compulsory evaluation. Any failing to 'solve your personal marriage issues' by the third quarter were promised termination of employment.
Though this edict against 'disloyal and disobedient' lifestyles meshes with government foci, social-security bureau officials warned that it contravenes Chinese labour laws. Bosses withdrew it by mass mail the next day 'because some of the words used were inappropriate'.

By the time a 30-year-old New England woman preparing for a holiday could no longer endure the burning sensation that had already driven her to hospital twice in as many weeks, it had spread far beyond her feet. Doctors eventually worked out the cause for her fiery pain and mounting confusion: a parasitic infection contracted on her Asian holiday a few weeks prior. Roundworms that typically head for the lungs were burrowing into her brain.
Six days' treatment with an immunosuppressant and an anti-parasitic drug relieved her symptoms sufficiently for release from hospital. As for the source of the infection, the authors of a New England Journal of Medicine report cite food contaminated by a slug or snail as one possible route, where 'the infectious dose of slime is not defined'.

Next is a hospital-based item with a less happy ending. A woman suffering severe labour pains at China's Yulin No. 1 hospital begged her family to submit written permission for a Caesarian section despite staff concerns that the baby's 'large head' could render the surgery risky. Ma Rongrong's husband, Yan Zhuangzhuang, later claimed that not he, as next of kin, but hospital staff had denied her pleas - made at least twice on bended knee in a corridor before nurses guided her back to her room.
Either way, the end result was the same: unable to bear the pain, the 26-year-old, 42-week-pregnant Ma leapt to her death from a fifth-floor window. The hospital granted Yan unspecified financial compensation, and authorities have suspended its director and head gynaecologist.

When Michigan's Harrison Jones uncovered his ex-girlfriend's plans to travel to Bensalem, Pennsylvania, for purposes of finally seeing a male online acquaintance in person, he undertook the same 1,130 km pilgrimage. Number-plate cameras linked the ensuing 'intentionally set and incendiary' fire at her 21-year-old suitor's home to the black sedan driven by Jones. All six residents escaped the blaze, some by jumping from upstairs windows, but two dogs perished and the home was a write-off.
Jones, 21, whom authorities found back in Michigan with lock picks and arm burns, has been charged with risking catastrophe, six counts of attempted criminal homicide, and arson.

Spooked by fireworks at a Hindu festival in Kerala, India, a temple elephant pierced a fellow elephant's flesh with a tusk. The ensuing stampede left three people dead and dozens injured. Such incidents, contributing to hundreds of both human and pachyderm deaths a year nationally, prompted the province's High Court to issue guidelines for better treatment of India's 2,700+ captive elephants. However, India's Supreme Court overruled these, deeming guidance 'impractical'.
Now, Kerala temple staff are looking to an alternative: mechanical elephants that flap their ears, wave a water-squirting trunk, sport electric-motor-actuated nodding tail-swishing action, and aren't fazed by thumping music or heavyset riders. While these fibreglass and rubber simulacra, which began life as an art project by model-maker Prasanth Prakasan and three friends, can cost the equivalent of 5,500 euros or more, entities such as the Voice for Asian Elephants Society have donated several in exchange for grateful religious leaders' release of real elephants to sanctuaries.

Meanwhile, Michigan newspapers report on human interaction with a somewhat smaller animal: a cockroach. Ringing the emergency services, a resident of Detroit reported that he'd thrown a shoe at the creepy-crawly from his wheelchair. Then he explained that said shoe contained his revolver and that it bounced out onto the floor and discharged. The only other witness, the cockroach, cannot corroborate his story. In any case, the 50-year-old man was taken to a local hospital for treatment of a bullet wound to the foot.

Returning to India, we find that the courts have taken action against a brand of suffering beyond the animal domain: cinema-goers' forced protracted exposure to brands. The Bangalore court system upheld a complaint against multiplex operator PVR INOX for mental agony caused by 25 minutes of advertising before Sam Bahadur - 17 commercials and two public-service announcements. The claimant, 31-year-old lawyer 'Abhishek M.R.', added that he'd had to cancel a work-related phone call because the film overran accordingly. He was awarded the equivalent of 600 euros in damages for unfair trade practices. Also, the chain must pay roughly double that to the Consumer Welfare Fund.

Responding to reports of vandalism, police officers in Deltona, Florida, encountered two paint-dappled teenagers attacking a vehicle with yellow spray paint and eggs. The elder of the two, aged 18, explained that she'd been getting back at her ex-boyfriend. The cops, in turn, explained that the car belonged to the ex's neighbour.
In addition to reporting her for vandalism and contributing to the delinquency of the 16-year-old girl accompanying her, Volusia Sheriff's Office '[d]eputies witnessed her driving her vehicle with two open containers of Four Loko in plain view' and under their contents' influence. The other girl was busted for having marijuana.

26 March 2025

We begin with a spring in our step, thanks to a pilgrimage to World Heritage Site Chichén-Itzá for the vernal equinox. Part of last week's crowd of nearly 9,000 at this 'wonder of the world' was a 38-year-old German tourist who charged up the Mayan pyramid's steps and entered its inner chamber. Though worried about damaging the temple themselves, National Guard members climbed the structure and hauled him to ground level, where dozens of locals set upon him while shouting 'Sacrifice!'. Shielding him from further pummelling, guards and National Institute of Anthropology and History staff escorted the man into the arms of the law instead.

Britain has been turning its attention to economic migrants and others who remain in the country long after the expiry of their entry visa. Meanwhile, Thai police have uncovered a 60-year-old British man who spent nearly half of his life overstaying his 30-day tourist visa. He managed to set this 9,135-day record by claiming to be 'in the process of extending' that visa whenever authorities queried him.
The man claimed that he'd moved to Chiang Mai for economic reasons, though he is jobless and depends on money sent by his family in the UK. Likewise, objecting that he has a child in Thailand did not save him from deportation. Leaving Thailand will give him the first stamp in his passport, which he renewed in 2018.

Who let two $4,299 puppies out? A man faked a seizure to distract Perfect Pets staff in suburban Denver while two others removed the lid from the bulldogs' pen and snatched a pair of pricey puppies. Despite a tackle attempt that left both canines on the floor briefly, the thieves successfully bundled them into their getaway vehicle, a rather conspicuous gold Cadillac Escalade with tinted windows and no number plates. So far, two members of the party have been found: the 37-year-old seizure-faker (who was arrested with drugs in hand) and one of the puppies (returned by a woman who recognised her $1,500 purchase from a street vendor as matching a news report).

Rather more noble aims come into play in another dog-theft-related story. Michigan veterinarian Amanda Hergenreder spotted an ailing pitbullish mutt tied to a pickup truck beside a coffee shop. After speaking with coffee-shop staff, the local animal shelter, and the cops, she untied the 16-year-old dog and carried him to her vehicle for a two-hour drive to her clinic. She reports that the 16-year-old dog, which she named Biggby, is now doing well, four months after receiving $3,000 of care for a severe urinary-tract infection, a rotten tooth, etc. However, Kent County prosecutor Chris Becker reports that homeless man Chris Hamilton, 57, wants his beloved Vinny back.
Hamilton explained: 'Never neglected him.' Becker, who is charging Hergenreder with larceny, said there is no 'right to just take something because you feel something's wrong'.

After a pet-owner in Australia died of natural causes, his two dogs, left hungry, consumed parts of his body. Noting the piles of dog vomit on the premises, a worker with the Melbourne animal shelter that collected them, Joanna Kathlyn Kinman, decided to go on a hunt for the missing bits. Her rummaging through the skips yielded two toes that she deemed suitable for sale via 'Bone Buddies Online'. According to her daughter, experience had led Kinman, 48, to expect approximately 250 euros' gains from this venture. What she received instead - thanks to a tip-off - was a lost job and a sentence to 150 hours' community service, with Magistrate Andrew Sim noting that she had escaped a jail term 'by the barest of possible margins'.

Monadnock Food Co-Op, in Keene, New Hampshire, began pulling items from its shelves in response to a police response to an anonymous tip-off in response to 'disturbing videos' posted online. Those videos showed 23-year-old 'online content creator' Kelli Tedford urinating on walnuts, shredded coconut, red quinoa, white quinoa, tri-color quinoa, cornmeal, and polenta. After the recalls and Tedford's arrest, Keene Police Department discovered 'numerous additional videos' of her contaminating items at the Keene shop and in other towns. She had been peeing on grocers' produce and surfaces for at least four years.

Haidilao is China's largest hot-pot restaurant chain, with more than 1,000 franchisees. It took only one of those outlets to create a media storm, however. Yes, a urination video was involved in this case too, but this one, captured by a third party, showed a young man emptying his bladder into a vat of broth while standing on a table. After an initial statement referring to a 'malicious' smear campaign, managers at the relevant Shanghai restaurant reversed course, even volunteering that there had been two urinaters (17-year-olds Tang and Wu have been placed in 'administrative detention') and admitted that, since they 'had never made contingency plans or given training for dealing with this type of incident', their employees were unable to detect a problem or 'uphold the safety of the dining environment'.

Last time it was a cockroach. This time it's a pit bull. Tennessee's Jerald Kirkwood recounted to paramedics that he had been 'relaxing/talking' with a woman on his bed at about 4am when his one-year-old dog Oreo bounded toward him and ended up with a paw stuck in the trigger guard of a handgun that had been left on the bedroom floor. The weapon discharged, leaving Kirkwood's left thigh grazed. Paramedics treated him, and the police filed the incident under 'accidental injury'.

United Nations judge Lydia Mugambe, a 49-year-old Ugandan woman who lives in the UK, is a High Court judge in Uganda. And even has diplomatic immunity. Those are the first things she told the police officer who arrived at her home to arrest her under the Modern Slavery Act for forcing another woman to provide her with free child-care and maid's services rather than seek steady employment. Her next words were 'I am not a criminal'. Oxford Crown Court has disagreed, convicting her of such crimes as facilitating travel with a view to exploitation and conspiracy to intimidate a witness. And the UN have stated that any diplomatic status she may have enjoyed is void.
While it might be true that 'I came here as a student [for an Oxford law DPhil and] don't need anyone to work for me', prosecutors contented that she clearly was not averse to 'obtaining someone to make her life easier and at the least possible cost to herself', at the cost of the victim reporting that she was 'lonely' and 'stuck'.

When California's Jamison Webster failed to return home after visiting son Richard Leyva at a Motel 6 in El Cajon, California, her other son visited the motel and promptly rang the police to report that only her Hyundai Sonata was there - with her corpse in the boot. Before officers arrived, 'Leyva got into the Hyundai and drove off, striking his brother in the process', prompting an attempted traffic stop, then a pursuit that ended with a crash into two other vehicles and a stun-gun deployment. Both Leyva, 24, and Webster, 51, were removed from the scene for further investigation.

Essex couple Adrian and Joanne Fenton encountered a surprise when unzipping their caravan's bike-rack cover after a six-hour drive from the ferry terminal in Folkestone, Kent. To their dismay, a Sudanese migrant had sneaked across the English Channel with them. To their greater dismay, their reward for calling the police was a Border Force e-mail message advising them of a fine for failing to check for concealment of a 'clandestine entrant'. In the wake of BBC reports on their case, the 50-something couple have received a follow-up message: in response to his objection to being considered liable, Border Force had reduced the fine from £1,500 to £0.

An orthopaedic surgeon in Queensland, Australia, took photos of a patient whose homemade pipe bomb had exploded in his hands, then shared the snapshots with colleagues online. The images were not of the intubated man's hands but of his penis, which sported a tattoo of a swastika. While deeming the comatose patient vulnerable and the photos devoid of a 'clinical or medical purpose', the Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal noted that the doctor, whose experiences of racism had even prompted a formal change of name, had immediately expressed regret for capturing the pictures. Tribunal member Peter Murphy announced a finding of misconduct, a fine equivalent to 8,000 euros, and payment of an undisclosed sum to the victim in place of criminal proceedings.

When a couple at a restaurant in Livingston, Tennessee, complained about foreign matter in their food, manager Patrick Jones apologised profusely. He recalls telling the refund-seeking pair: 'It looks like somebody pulled a wad of hair out of their head and placed it right on your plate. That's awful.' After Jones issued a refund, a fellow Steel Coop customer alerted him that the woman had passed the man a chunk of hair from behind her head to spice up the meal. So Jones ran outside in pursuit. Around a corner, the man was on one knee proposing marriage to the woman.
That did not deter Jones from informing them that they are personae non gratae at the eatery or stop owner Cindy Cooper from posting the incriminating CCTV evidence online. She reports that a relative later paid the pair's $20 bill.


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