- 12 January 2000
-
![[IMG: Similar 'stone baby' from Zaire]](images/baby.jpg)
Doctors found that a 76-year old Taipei woman was carrying a
'fossilised' foetus. The child was conceived 49 years ago. The
Veterans General Hospital said that doctors in Taiwan found a 20-gram
lithopaedion, the remains of a fetus hardened by calcium buildup, in the
abdomen of a patient referred to only as 'Wu'. This happened on 31 December.
Only three such cases have been recorded thus far, one of them dating
from 1582, when a French woman was found to be carrying a 20-year-old foetus.
It is thought that the foetus died in the 20th week, when it moved
from Wu's uterus to her abdomen.
- 24 January 2000
-
He must have become a surgeon because he liked watching Zorro films. Dr
Allan Zarkin carved his initials in a woman whose baby girl he had just
delivered by Caesarian section.
Liana Gedz is seeking $2.5 million for each 7 x 2.5 cm letter. She
said: 'I feel like a branded animal', adding that the marks will only disappear
with extensive plastic surgery. 'I feel like I was raped, like I was
violated', she said.
Lawyers on both sides of the case agreed that the doctor did indeed use
his scalpel to engrave an 'AZ' in the woman's skin on 7 September.
Zarkin's lawyer, Barry Fallick (nice name), said his client was diagnosed
with a 'frontal lobe disorder' some time after 7 September.
If you're going to have expensive malpractice insurance, you'd might as
well use it?
According to AP reports, a US black man accused of armed bank robbery is
claiming innocence on grounds of 'cultural insanity'.
Blain E. Gamble's claim is that exposure to racism over many years led
him to rob the First National Bank of Herminie, PA, in July 1998. Court
statements say that Gamble was dressed as an old lady when he robbed the
bank with the help of an accomplice.
After his 2 December request for a black psychologist or psychiatrist
with expertise in cultural insanity, Gamble formed the defence that he
suffers from a post-traumatic stress disorder brought on by 'unwarranted
exposure, victimisation and repetitive confrontations with white racism'
that included (but were not necessarily limited to) having run-ins with
the police and seeing a picture of a murder victim on a magazine cover that
was shown to him by his mother.
Reactions include federal prosecutor Shaun Sweeney's comment that 'It's
the first time I've ever heard of [cultural insanity]'. Another reaction
is the judge's decision that Gamble will be examined by a white
psychiatrist. Others recall that cultural insanity was used as a defence
at least once before, by two black men who beat a white truck driver
during the riots in Los Angeles in the early 1990s (the defence
failed).
- 31 January 2000
-
This edition of Anna's News Clippings is dedicated to things that annoy
people. No, it is not devoted to nose hair and lumpy mattresses. This is
what the small newspapers are shouting about on their editorial
pages:
They know how to party in British Columbia. The Canadian government
employees sent for games, pizza, snow cones, a bubble-blowing machine,
and rented palm trees. Over 350 people enjoyed the festivities, which
Wayne Marston described as a 'positive event' which was received well by
everyone at Matsqui Institution. MP Myron Thompson had a different
view, saying, 'I hardly think that prison is meant for those kind of
functions'. Prison staff are reported to be rethinking their plans for
next year's 'millenial' celebration.
In other news, a new theme restaurant in Taipei, Taiwan, has caught
unwelcome attention. The restaurant, 'Jail', features artefacts and
pictures from Nazi concentration camps. Photographs on the walls are
supposed to increase the appetites of visitors; after all, these people
at Auschwitz and Dachau look awfully skinny.
A carved wooden sign saying 'Gas chamber' points the way to the toilets,
near a period gas cylinder. Restaurant manager Stone Cheng has caved in
to pressure and removed some of the items, saying he didn't realise they
might offend some people.
In the meantime, complaints have ceased regarding 'Darkie Toothpaste',
whose adverts feature a black man with perfect, very white-looking teeth.
And human rights groups in Argentina have complained about an
advertisement used by Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion. The two-page advert
in Rolling Stone features a tanned man being hauled away from a swimming
pool by hooded, white-robed men. 'The tone is humorous, the idea is:
You're going to get so black that the Ku Klux Klan are going to come after
you', said Carlos Perez, creative director of the Grey Argentina ad
agency. Victor Ramos, leader of the Argentine Institute Against
Discrimination, said the ad 'suggests that being black means you are
vulnerable to being kidnapped and tortured by the Ku Klux Klan'.
- 4 February 2000
-
Tesco is going for a place in the Guinness Book of Records after
collecting 24000 digital photographs. To be precise, they have amassed
a collection of amateur photographers' thumb prints.
The supermarket chain built its collection of blurred digits in a year
from film their customers sent in for processing.
'We've got photographs of fingers and thumbs taken at weddings, birthday
parties and at holiday destinations from around the world', said head of
film processing Andrew Clark. He concluded that 'the third finger of the
right hand is the most popular finger to photograph because it tends
to fall naturally in front of the lens'.
Tesco does not charge for ruined prints, so it kept the shots. The
chain have written to the Guinness Book of Records asking if the cache,
stored in a warehouse awaiting recycling, will make the record books.
If you want to try Thai food, now is the best time. In the wake of an
epidemic spread by rats, Thai health officers hosted a rodent and rice
banquet for 4000 hungry villagers.
So far, 130 people in Buriram province (in northern Thailand) have died
from leptospirosis, spread by living rats. The banquet, held in a temple,
was followed by a Miss Rat pageant and demonstrations of catching,
dressing, and cooking rat.
For a slightly different feast, go to Papua New Guinea, where a man ate
the eyes, testes, and heart of another man as part of a vaillage
dispute. Moropia Silkapi attacked the body of Yakamup Makatu, according
to a police statement to Reuters. This occurred on 31 January at Ono
Works camp.
As part of the argument, prior to the eating, Makatu's house burned down
earlier in the day. Silkapi smashed Makatu's head with a rock prior to
eating his important bits. He was tied to a tree by villagers, awaiting
the police. Makatu's relatives killed him first. Three of the latter
were arrested.
News of the incident reached Port Moresby a week later.
Florida's Joseph Sherer impersonated a medical doctor, ringing
women throughout the US to offer 'medical directions'. Most hung up
on him, but some obeyed him and injured themselves.
Sherer told the women that their daughter or mother had a hereditary
urinary disease. He then asked the callees their breast size, whether
they were sexually active, etc., before telling them to perform a test on
themselves. One victim complied with Sherer's instruction to cut off her
nipple with a razorblade, for tissue tests. He said a nipple is just a
'plug' that would grow back; the 'real' part is the alveolar
portion. Another woman tried to comply but did not cut the nipple completely
off, so she was asked to perform a different test, which involved putting
fingernail polish remover on her vaginal walls and watching for a change in
colour. She received a minor burn. Another woman had no alcohol, bleach, or
similar items in the house, and Sherer directly asked whether she had
anything flammable on hand. Still another woman followed the 'calm, educated-sounding'
Sherer's instructions to put a knife in her vagina while describing
the effect. When she complained of discomfort, he said the bacterial
infection would hurt worse, so she continued. Her mother's return
home interrupted proceedings, and the woman escaped without injury.
Police took legal action against Sherer after 40 complaints were
received from women in a college town. Meanwhile, there were at least 120 similar calls reported in the
north-eastern part of the country. Most of these women did not perform the tests, despite being warned that
the disease could lead to so much swelling that the cervix might
end up protruding 13–15 cm from the vagina while they slept.
Sherer admitted to making the calls from his girlfriend's house (the
status of her nipples is unclear) and expressed hopes that none of the
women were actually hurt.
- 10 February 2000
-
A Connecticut primary school has banned 'Captain Underpants' books from
its library. Maple Hill School officials explained that some
fourth-graders began emulating the characters in the book The Adventures
of Captain Underpants: An Epic Novel. As you might expect, the series
of four books features two mischievous boys with toilet humour.
Superintendant Alice Carolan said: 'The book was beginning to take on a
life of its own' after a student brought his copy of Captain Underpants
and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants for Show and
Tell. The principal removed the school's copy of
the 'novel' from the library, stating that she encourages good
literature at the school.
Some parents want the book reinstated. Jennifer Merrill opined that it
entertains children who would not read otherwise. 'It's not harmful to
children', she said. The principal said she would not take further action
unless parents formally ask the School Board for the book's return to the
library.
One clue for how she might get her wish lies in the plot of the books:
the two boys hypnotise a nasty principal into thinking he is Captain
Underpants.
In case you want to read them, the other books in the series are
Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets: Another Epic
Novel and Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredible Naughty
Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space.
'This is just goofy to me', Carolan said.
I have an update on the Mississippi restaurant-owner who cooked
his wife. After killing her, Kevin Artz cut her body into small pieces
and cooked the remains to serve in the restaurant as part of standard
dishes. He hoped to dispose of the evidence this way (the police are unsure
what he would have done with the head, which Artz is said to have carried
around in a box). However, the game was over early; one of the first
police officers to arrive on the scene stated later: 'I recognized burnt flesh on the
counter.' Police later found a box outside the kitchen that contained a skull
and cooked meat.
The update is that Artz, facing a murder charge, claims that brain
surgery rendered him insane. Weeks before the killing, he had an
operation for a blood clot on his brain.
Furthermore, employees at the couple's restaurant will testify that
Artz would not have done this if he were in his right mind. They will
say that he loved his wife. Dishwasher Alex Lazaroff, 18, said: 'He loved
Pat.'
Michael Moore, manager of the Melbourne Storm rugby league team, would
qualify for a Darwin Award if he hadn't already bred. The 35-year-old was
drinking at 3am in Auckland and said 'watch this!' to his audience. He
then jumped from Princes Wharf, failing to notice a concrete pontoon,
which he hit with his head before drowning in seven metres of water.
Police are now considering the role of the bar in the affair. It seems
that they may be liable for letting him drink alcohol.
A well-built Michigan man did not want to go to jail. He broke his
handcuffs - which can even happen with the more expensive Smith & Wesson
variety - and used the rough point to cut a hole in his abdomen. He tried
to throw his guts at police and rescue workers while he bled menacingly in
their direction.
Sergeant Matt Morman said: 'I have been doing this for 26 years, but I
have never seen anything like this.' He added that 'I have seen people take
their own lives in unique ways, but what that guy did was bizarre,
reaching in and then tugging on stuff, and I mean tugging'.
The police said a loud-stereo complaint led them to an Oakland Township
flat, where the man was taken into custody when he said he was wanted
on a warrant for drunken driving. Craig Cejmer's report said: 'Due to the
subject being very large in size, two pairs of handcuffs had to be used to
secure subject's hands behind his back.' After the arrest, Cejmer claimed,
the 36-year-old tried hard to avoid going to jail. After he injured
himself, it took seven men to hold him on the stretcher to get him in the
ambulance.
The county prosecutor's office has charged the man, who has not been
named but whose description reads '6-foot-1, 280 pounds', with malicious
destruction of property as well as resisting and obstructing arrest. He
is being held on a $110000 bond while awaiting a competency hearing.
Court records show that the man has twice before cut himself to avoid
drunken driving arrests. The previous injuries were inflicted with a comb
and a plastic spoon.
Pennsylvania grocers found an answer after three years. Someone ambushed
their baked goods, crumbling their cookies and mangling their bread. Lou
DeFranceseo, general manager of McCaffrey's market, said the miscreant
struck his shop in Yardley dozens of times. 'It was mutilated. You could
actually see there was a hand there', he said.
Baked goods distributors initally assumed this was sabotage, and they
rang shop-owners to ask them to see it stopped. 'They were blaming each
other' said DeFranceseo.
Finally, the Davis Cookie Company trained a hidden camera on the cookie
aisle at Yardley's 'Giant' supermarket, where losses were heaviest. The
37-year-old Samuel Feldman was charged with more than $8000 in damage
after being caught on three separate occasions twisting a loaf of
bread.
Feldman's attorney said he was simply looking for fresh bread when
caught on camera. He said 'I squeeze bread when I go to the store, but I
don't get arrested for it'. That Feldman was standing near a shelf of
damaged baked goods was circumstantial evidence only.
- 15 February 2000
-
As usual, all typos are mine, and all complaints or pleas for mercy may
be directed to the great bin in the sky. Please feel free to forward
this to squeamish people.
New Zealand's Broadcasting Standards Authority ruled Tuesday that an
'unusual and macabre' piece of video did not break rules mandating good
taste. The footage, in which a man stapled his penis to a crucifix and
lit it, was shown on the state-owned Television New Zealand as part of
its 'Havoc 2000 Deluxe' programme.
Two viewers complained about the clips, which showed Christchurch
student Thomas Hendry winning $NZ500 (and $NZ500 bar credit) at a
local pub. As reported in a previous edition of Anna's News Clippings,
this winner of the 'How Far Will You Go' competition secured the honour
with 18 staples from an industrial-strength stapler. He then liberally
employed lighter fluid and set the combo alight, on video.
In response to prime minister Helen Clark's accusation that the
channel is driven by ratings and that the watchdog agency is co-opting
this by turning a blind eye to such things, the agency did note that the
stunt almost crossed the 'good taste' line. TVNZ said it was aware the
'humour' would not be to everyone's liking.
And in similar news, in the US the ABC network is earning the lion's
market share during its airing of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?. To
compete, the United Paramount Network is showing I Dare You, whose
plot may also sound familiar. Network executives have directly said
that if someone is killed on the air, the death won't be shown.
However, regarding injuries, 'Everything will be taken on a case-by-case
basis', according to 'series creator' Bruce Nash.
He added, 'It depends on what 'seriously injured' means. I think good
taste and propriety will prevail'. I'm convinced.
One would have to ask the ferrett about the taste of this item. A
Brisbane police officer confiscated a ferret from its permitless owner.
Then, on the ensuing journey to a wildlife refuge, 'the ferret got itself out of
the box and latched itself to a place of undesirable intent on the police
officer's person in the front seat', said a police spokesman, who
presumably gets several pence per extra word of waffle. 'It caused him a
certain amount of reaction and he is getting a lot of sympathy', continued
the spokesman.
In layman's terms, what happened: the unidentified officer almost
crashed his car while trying to hit the ferret with his baton, and he is
recovering more slowly than the ferret is.
In time for Valentine's Day, a Danish artist unveiled his artwork.
Shortly thereafter, animal rights activists called in the police, asking
them to unplug the blenders at Kolding's Trapholt Museum.
The exhibit consisted of 10 blenders, each containing a goldfish.
Chilean-born Marco Evaristti's work 'gives the public the option [...] of
pressing the button of death, or not. It asks the visitor: do you want
to kill?', said museum director Peter Meyer.
Although two goldfish had already been sliced up and six more kidnapped
at the time of the complaint, Meyer refused to unplug the exhibit, despite
police warnings of the possibility of 'cruelty to animals' charges. When
the museum restored the work in its entirety for Monday, Meyer said he
would defend the artist's freedom of expression but also said he expected
the public to apply the same 'look but don't touch' rule that applies to
other paintings and sculptures.
Meyer also said it was under a journalist's encouragement that two
visitors pushed the 'on' buttons on opening day.
- 21 February 2000
-
Nokia: Connecting vehicles.
US Air Force security officer Airman
Raymone Sydnor was on patrol at Florida's Eglin Air
Force Base when he dropped his mobile phone on the floor of his car. As
he hunted for it, he drove into a parked F-15. The fighter jet suffered
$62000 in damage, and the patrol car was unsalvageable. The base now
requires security officers to leave their cars 'to combat boredom and
oxygenate blood flow' for 10 minutes each half hour. Base officials will
not disclose Sydnor's punishment.
You thought arranged marriages were a thing of the past. Well, they got a
sort of revival recently with an odd mix of a beauty pageant, Who Wants
To Be a Millionaire and Blind Date. The US's Fox television network
aired a programme on Tuesday where 50 potential brides, aged 19 to 45,
were interviewed and given a compatibility quiz that was marked by a
mystery millionaire's family and friends.
The field was narrowed to 10 women who paraded in casual clothes and
bathing suits. The final five posed in wedding gowns. The man was
revealed to San Diego real estate developer and motivational speaker Rick
Rockwell - who also appeared in direct-to-video sequels to Attack of the
Killer Tomatoes. As for the bride, she was an emergency room nurse from
Santa Monica, CA, who had served in the Gulf War.
After an advert break, the two exchanged wedding vows. Before the
credits rolled, one third of all US women aged 18 to 34 had tuned in to
the programme, whose creator promises that next time he will have single
men parading before a rich woman. Would the feminists who complained
that the programme exploited women complain about this Who Wants To
Marry a Multimillionaire II
And in Arizona, an amendment to a state law would regulate erections in
bars. It is unknown how 'turgidity' will be determined.
Male genitals 'in a discernibly turgid state even if completely and
opaquely covered' would violate the bill's prohibition on depicting
sexual activity, a Class 1 misdemeanour. The bill is mainly aimed at
topless bars, but it bans erections in any liquor establishment.
This is a 'rider' attached to a liquor bill. It is a companion bill
to Representative Marilyn Jarrett's bill to regulate exotic dancing;
this bill includes such provisions as restricting tipping to a
hand-to-hand transaction. Both bills passed in their initial stages.
The latter bill's proponents explained that three-foot separation
between dancers and customers would prevent drug use and prostitution.
'Oh, I see how that will solve the problem', said Representative Sue Gerard
(R-Phoenix) sarcastically. Rep. Bill Brotherton (D-Phoenix) said 'This
legislature is just obsessed with sex'.
State laws also describe engorgement of female genitalia, as
determined by moisture.
Douglas Holmes is a repeat offender. With the evidence piled high
against him, he faced life in prison, so it may have made sense to him
to grab the recovered money from the evidence table and flee the
courtroom. The judge ordered him arrested again, while the trial
continued in his absence. The court did not find in his favour. The
money's original owner said: 'I can't believe I lost my money twice.'
Actress Daniela Tobar of Santiago, Chile, is now spending two weeks as the
object of numerous attentions. She showers, sleeps, and eats in a house
made entirely of glass.
The 21-year-old is involved in a $23,000 project to determine how the
public feels about people's right to privacy. Architect Arturo Torres
said: 'The idea is for her to live a completely normal life.' From the
sidewalk, people can see every inch of the 2.4-metre-by-2.4-metre house as
Tobar does the laundry and uses the loo.
'As I stepped out of bed, the crowd starting chanting, "Undress,
Undress!"', she said. But she refused to stop the project when police
visited her Tuesday. She has all the required permits as well as
government funding.
- 23 February 2000
-
Imagine being chained to a bed for three days by your father to prevent
you belly dancing at nightclubs. This is the situation faced by
Istanbul's Mahmut Dagyolu.
The 19-year-old man's left arm and leg were chained to his bed
until neighbours told police of his cries for help.
Solo male belly dancing is relatively new to Turkish nightclubs and
has been greeted with opposition by conservative groups. However, male
belly dancing itself is nothing new, having been spurred on by an
Ottoman ban on female belly dancing. (By contrast, today's belly
dancing blokes do not usually wear veils.)
According to BBC reports, Gloucester's Heather Perry only damaged a
brain membrane as a result of her do-it-yourself brain surgery.
The 29-year-old 'felt something radical needed to be done' to cure
her chronic fatigue syndrome, so she attempted to perform trepanation, a
procedure carried out to increase blood flow to the brain's
capillaries. She decided to cut a hole in her skull.
Perry began by injecting a local anaesthetic. The operation also
involved a surgeon's knife, drill, and a mirror. It also involved a
video camera. Perhaps Perry had been watching Heartbeat in the Brain,
a video wherein Joey Mellen's footage of his drill-wielding lover's
self-trepanation is accompanied by peaceful music and interspersed with
motion studies of the woman's pet pigeon.
Although the 20-minute procedure left Perry seeking medical attention,
she said 'I have no regrets'. She reported, 'I can't say the effects have
been dramatic but they are there. I generally feel better and there's
definitely more mental clarity'.
Although there is no law against having/putting a hole in one's head in
the US, Perry's relatives had asked police to prevent the trepanation.
Ervin Bruce of Minnesota had what police described as a mental crisis,
which led him to sever his penis. When police arrived, he was sitting
on a kitchen chair underneath which a pool of blood ran across the
floor. Women's clothing and wigs were piled nearby. When a police
officer asked why he did it, he said that was 'for me to know'. He
later did add that 'it' was always getting him into trouble so 'I cut it
off'.
Police found the bag from the dry ice Bruce described using so it
wouldn't hurt when he performed the unkindest cut of all. An officer
reported additional preparation; an eighth of a bottle of liquor was on
the kitchen table.
Bruce follows in the fine tradition of such people as New York's Earl
Zea, who was charged with falsely reporting that a burglar cut off his
penis while he was asleep. Zea went to the hospital after cutting off
his own penis.
If cutting off penes isn't macho enough (It hasn't made me macho yet),
there are other diversions. The ambulance crew reported that a
Wisconsin man who severed his left arm cut it off in a wood chippper in
the garage. However, investigating officers who looked for Thomas
Rollo's arm instead found a blood trail leading to a homemde guillotine
in the basement.
The blood trail went via a refrigerator in which was a Pick 'N' Save
bag with an arm inside it.
The guillotine's wooden rails were attached to the basement ceiling
and re-enforced at the top. Between the rails was a piece of pipe
containing a scythe-like sod-cutting tool. Add some cinder blocks and a
cable and some pulleys and away we go.
The victim admitted to severing his arm intentionally. After getting
a computer four or five months earlier, he said he sought the guillotine
design on an 'amputee fetish web site'. There was also an axe in the
basement, just in case. The man said he would merely sever his arm
again if there were attempts to reattach it. He denied that he caused
the absence of another toe and finger.
Rollo stated that he thought he would appear more manly after the
amputation.
- 28 February 2000
-
Paradigmatics
Office Angels of London has found that a fifth of British office workers
don't understand workplace jargon. Such phrases as 'a holistic approach
to management problems' were used by 65 per cent of office workers,
according to the survey. Thirty per cent said they did this to 'liven up'
meetings and 35 per cent to 'sound more credible'. Forty per cent found
it 'irritating and distracting' whether understanding it or not.
Sexual sanctions suggested
Professor Michael Bailey lectured his class on the evils of cheating after
he found out at least 40 students had consulted a stolen copy of a nearly
identical 1997 exam. A sorority member had kept the exam rather than return
it at the end of the testing period. Bailey will write a new test for next
time and will begin publishing old tests on the Internet, to give equal access
to everyone. 'I should have used proper precautions from the beginning',
he said.
One woman said she wouldn't have passed the mid-term exam Basic Human
Sexuality exam without seeing the 1997 test. A student who used the old
exam said: 'If you've done the reading and gone to lectures, you're OK.
It's not difficult material.' Bailey agreed with her, saying the
cheaters didn't hurt the marks of anyone else. He said that any censure
would have to come from fellow students. 'At least in my case the
cheaters gave me ammunition', he said. When discussing the incident in
class, he said: 'Those people who used the old test are losers. Don't
have sex with them:'
To heck with decriminalisation or legalisation - require it
Senator Rod Tam of the island of Oahu, Hawaii, introduced a bill for a
law that would require 10-minute naps and snacks for state employees. Represenatative Bob Herkes
made light of the bill by proposing an amendment to require 10 minutes of
work for each four hours of naps. The bill was designed to increase
alertness, after several employees had been found making 'mindless errors'
in mid-afternoon.
In case the first sentence made you think this was about drugs, I'll add
another item for you. Christopher Jansen was on trial for drug possession
in Pontiac, Michigan. He contended that he had been searched without a
warrant. When the prosecutor argued that a warrant wasn't needed since
the bulge in Jansen's jacket could have been a gun. Jansen was wearing
the same jacket, and he handed it to the judge, saying it clearly didn't
have any such gun-like bulge. The judge found a packet of cocaine in the
pocket.
Potential knicker nicker nabbed
Life Guard Nick Carrell has admitted that he attempted theft during the
1992 fire at Windsor Castle. During the confusion, as people tried to
save the Queen's belongings, 'I was planning to steal a pair of the
Queen's knickers'.
Carrelll, who is no longer a member of the Guards, said: 'I pulled open
a chest of drawers. I was amazed to see it was filled with the Queen's
underwear [he didn't think she wore any?] and I put out my hand to take a
pair. Suddenly I realized she was standing right behind me, watching my
every move. I don't know what she thought, but the Queen didn't say a
word. It was all very embarrassing.'
It's not just jelly anymore.
The UN has made an official statement that it has not banned the
import of pencils into Iraq. The Iraqui Embassy in Jordan was telling
people that pencils were banned because of the military utility of their
graphite. In fact, said a UN spokesman, they recently allowed a
shipment of 3.5 million pencils into Iraq.