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February 2017

28 February 2017

Mississippi's Roger Logan lost about 60 kilos after doctors told him that he was overweight. This required quite a bit of effort: once physicians realised that the problem with his belly was actually a tumour - one that reached the floor when Logan was seated - they deemed surgery too risky. Unlike the armchair-ridden Logan, his wife didn't take this news sitting down, and he was soon headed to a California operating room, with his armchair bolted to the floor of a cargo trailer.
After completing the operation successfully, Dr Vipul Dev reported that the tumour probably began its life as an infected ingrown hair that started to develop its own blood supply more than a decade ago.

In Australia, a woman filed a complaint with the Northern Territory Police because her marijuana dealer had demanded more money than usual. They reported: 'Completely offended, the woman demanded that police investigate this "outrageous" price hike.' When asked for the details necessary for said investigation, she hung up the phone immediately.
The Northern Territory Police have this message for other area residents: 'If you know a drug dealer who is ripping you off, give us a call, we'd love to help.'

According to Springfield, Oregon, police sergeant Rich Charboneau, a Mapleton man visited Springfield for a motel rendezvous with a woman he had met via dating application Tinder. He and 'Lacey' were taking things slowly: they had exchanged messages for months and booked separate rooms. With things going well, the man thought nothing of it when Lacey asked him to leave his room unlocked so that she could join him in the shower. However, she didn't enter the shower, and he didn't find her in either room. Also missing were his wallet, mobile phone, and clothes.
Charboneau says that, though the police have some leads, '[the victim] doesn't know who this is; we don't know either'. He also reported that something else disappeared shortly after the theft: the woman's Tinder profile.

Night-shift police officers spotted a 'suspicious car' parked outside the Workington police station, so bomb-disposal experts promptly blocked off nearby roads and performed a controlled explosion of the offending Vauxhall Corsa. It later emerged that an officer had parked the car outside the station as a favour for its owner, who had fallen ill.
According to the BBC, a police spokesperson later said: 'Following the controlled explosion, the vehicle was searched [for the 'suspisious objects' seen by the night shift] and the suspicions were negated.' Inspector Ashley Bennett reported that the police have apologised to the car's owner and that 'the constabulary will review this incident and will take on board any learning'.

Joshua Blunt left eight-month-old daughter Shania Rihanna Caradine in his car for four hours after a break from work last May. She died. The 26-year-old Mississippi man has now been handed a sentence of five years, with all five years suspended. He explains that he pleaded guilty to manslaughter in order to avoid jail time, which 'was best for me and my family because I have these two twins [on the way with Caradine's mother] and I wanted to be there and I wanted to support my family like I always have [...] I'm just trying to be the loving father that I always have been'.
Some have deemed the charges against Blunt to be 'blatant racism', since many white people face no charges after suffering from what Blunt's defence attorney, Carlos Moore, calls Forgotten Baby Syndrome.

According to AP reports, Florida businessman Jose Lantigua and his wife told several people that he was suffering from 'mad cow disease' and planned to visit Venezuela for treatment. He then did visit Venezuela, where he obtained a fake death certificate, which his wife then helped him use to file insurance claims. The 63-year-old Lantigua was later caught in North Carolina when trying to apply for a passport under an assumed name.
He has now been sentenced to 14 years in prison, for charges that include bank fraud and identity theft, and his wife has received five years of probation for her part in the illicit dealings.

Pennsylvania university student Connor Cox received two care packages from his mother earlier this term. One box contained food and 'goodies', but the 18-year-old young man was perplexed by the other box. When he rang her to enquire about the second package, Connie Cox explained: 'That's the trash you were supposed to take out'. She had saved it up since Christmas-time for him. He concluded: 'I thought I could get away with [ignoring the chore] this one time, but, obviously, I didn't.'

Responding to a tip, authorities stopped a Buddhist monk near Myanmar's border with Bangladesh and inspected his car. Inside were 400,000 methamphetamine pills, a grenade, and ammunition. Officer Maung Maung Yin reported that a search of the monk's monastery later revealed a haul of 4.2 million more pills.
The director-general of the Religious Affairs Ministry, Soe Min Tun, explains that the monk, who is now being questioned by the police, must immediately abandon his monkhood and face trial as an ordinary person.

Leston Lawrence used to purify gold at the Royal Canadian Mint, where he decided that he deserved a little something extra. Therefore, he stole 22 pieces of gold and left the premises with the 'cookie-sized' pieces stuffed up his rectum. He sold 17 of them through Ottawa Gold Buyers before he was caught, last November. The 35-year-old Lawrence has now been sentenced to 30 months in prison and must pay a fine of about 200,000 euros, the approximate worth of the stolen gold. If the fine remains unpaid three months after his release from prison, another 30-month term is on the cards for him and his rectum.

San Martín Texmelucan, Mexico, witnessed an unusual twist on the tradition of local businesses erecting altars to the Virgin of Guadalupe. A trail of petrol leaking into a street led local police officers to a lot that hosted an altar with a red hose protruding from it. They also noticed a gun-toting man get out of a vehicle in the lot and run off. He was eventually caught, as were five other people who had filled up their vehicles at the altar. The miraculous red hose was fed by a petrol pipeline that thieves had tapped into.

According to Deutsche Presse-Agentur, a 78-year-old man's carriage scraped a car parked along the road in Grafenrheinfeld, Bavaria, and he didn't stop. A witness reported the incident to the police, whose subsequent detective work involved following a trail of manure and hoof-prints from the hit-and-run scene to the culprit's stable. When officers confronted the man, he confessed to causing the accident, which caused about 2,000 euros in damage.

Kyle Poore is a Lyon Falls, New York, man who decided to attack his boss. The 29-year-old Poore chose his boss's home, in a secluded area, as the venue for the attack. He used a chain saw to cut through a bedroom door and caused severe injuries to his chosen victim's hand before fleeing on foot. It was not difficult for a police dog to track him through the nearby fields and woods.
He has been jailed on various charges. No motive has yet been proposed, partially because his court-appointed attorneys were removed from the case on account of conflicts of interest.

When a 53-year-old man returned from a snowmobiling excursion in Marian Gulch, Colorado, he found that the vehicle he'd arrived in was hemmed in by two others'. Therefore, he used a baseball bat on the truck that was parked behind his vehicle. Hearing the impact sounds, two other people who'd returned to the trail head accosted the bat-wielder, who they say had been drinking all day, and ordered him to leave a note indicating that he would pay for the damage.
The 53-year-old bat man then discovered that there was, in fact, enough space for him to back his vehicle out of the spot without a problem. It was not long before the truck's owner returned to his battered vehicle and found the note, which explained 'Sorryy anger isusesh'. According to the Glenwood Springs Post Independent, the culprit was arrested later on a charge of felonious criminal mischief.

Virginia's Brian 'PoShYbRiD' Vigneault recently decided to undertake a 24-hour-long marathon gaming session to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. The 35-year-old World of Tanks live streamer had completed several 20-plus-hour live streaming sessions in the preceding days, but this one ended differently. After 22 hours, he told viewers that he would return after a brief smoking break. He never returned to the computer, leaving viewers to conclude that he'd fallen asleep.
On the following day, the Virginia Beach police reported that Vigneault had died. The cause of his death is still under investigation, but some have speculated that it may be related to heart issues that emerged because of severe sleep deprivation.

The Russian weekly Stolica S reports on an argument between two former colleagues in Saransk, Russia. Aleksander Trofimov invited Jevgeny Lyulin to his place to celebrate the Day of the Programmer last September. A few drinks were drunk, and soon the two men were drunk too. When discussion turned to comparison of graphics cards, the conversation soon grew heated, with Lyulin expressing a preference for AMD ('the professionals' choice'). Trofimov, 31, ultimately backed up his passion for nVidia with a knife, killing the 37-year-old Lyulin. After reflecting for several minutes, Trofimov stabbed the corpse a few more times.
Still intoxicated, Trofimov dumped the cellophane-wrapped body in a remote lot. When Lyulin's mother rang him the next morning to ask where her son had got to, he went back and burned the body, then cleaned his home a few times.
Picked up a few days later for questioning, Trofimov promptly confessed. He has now been sentenced to nine and a half years in prison.

In Magic Valley, Idaho, an elk became trapped in a basement, causing residents to contact state wildlife-department officers. The animal had fallen through a window well. Unable to lead the disoriented elk upstairs, conservation officer Lee Garwood ended up chasing it out of the basement by hitting it on the bottom with an ice-hockey stick.
A few days earlier, a moose fell through an unlatched window elsewhere in Idaho. That rescue involved eight fish-and-game officers carrying the 275-kilo animal upstairs to freedom.

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