8 May 2018, after rehab
to all who helped with this pile of crap!
Whether you were 'enjoying' blue swill with us, rounding up endangered
species from bottom shelves all over the world, or just helping to
drain the post-festival sCraps, you helped to make this year's TCrBF
the worst ever!
As the long drought begins, please join me in singing the anthem of
the 7th Annual Tallinn Crap Beer Festival:
All things shite and alcoful;
All creatures sans crown cap;
Each can, PET hate, and ringpull there -
Someone brewed this crap.
All we had to do was drink it.
4 May 2018
berry scary, barely beery
As the clock ticks down to TCrBF, a few
are appearing on the horizon.
For example, the Grape Ape is about to stomp into our playground.
Yes, heading here from up north is a crazy 400-pound gorilla from down south - muy loco!
There may be other grapes, limes, etc. too, aiding in your berry burial.
* Disclaimers apply. User may go blind. Use only as prescribed. Crapness may vary.
30 April 2018
Our bestiary of the worstiary is almost complete, but...
...It wouldn't be ready without a response to the swarm of
locusts that will soon descend on TCBW.
Fortunately, I've found just the thing, thanks to a little petrol station
on the prairie:
TCrBF will have our very own gnatty rush!
26 April 2018
The latest report from our boozekeepers:
When this drink shuffled in from the street, we quickly ushered it
into the cold of our refrigerated enclosure...
in hopes of preserving its
finer flavours, characterised by one fan as 'petrol'.
Brought to us by the letter
this is a sad drink, a very very very very sad drink,
from the stable known as white cider.
16 April 2018
Extra, extra, read all about it!
If I can avoid drinking it before TCrBF, this extra-special treat
will be available, which I lovingly/loathingly brought all the way from a petrol station in Oklahoma.
What you need to know about it:
But here's what made this beer especially worth capturing -
an extra-enthusiastic recommendation from a local connoisseur of crap beer:
'This one tastes like skunk.'
24 March 2018
'Good' news, Crap Beer fans:
We have an extra-strong addition
kept extra-safe for your 'enjoyment'.
This display should be a perfect example of
the fine line between craft and crap.
When judged by quantities of excrement produced per day,
...the winner is clear.
5 March 2018
Our menagerie has now been joined by fluffy little animals
inhumanely captured for us in China.
Will they be torn to shreds by
the heavier beasts? We'll have to wait and see what kind of teeth
Either way, lack of quality is guaranteed.
Key words: WalMart China client brewery
30 January 2018
BOOST ON THE LOOSE! ... THESE DRINKS MAY BITE
The trampede stampede has begun, with big game from far and near.
This includes a bear from Romania and a relatively local muscular
bovine that appears eager to trample us. We may even have a species from
It's entirely possible that some of these wild animals will
escape from their cages before TCrBF.
We can already hear them
rattling the bars.
20 November 2017, 10am
It's open season on Crap Beer: HUNTING SEASON has begun...
Keep your eyes peeled, and join us on the bottom shelves!
wonders horrors are waiting in the
Can you bag a prize can/bottle for TCrBF 2018?
It could win BEaST IN SHOW for the 7th annual Tallinn Crap Beer Festival!
14 November 2017
We are pleased to report a rumoured date and time for the
potentially g(l)orious Tallinn Crap Beer Festival 2018:
5.5.2018, the first Saturday of the beery, beery month of
TCrBF 2018 ostensibly will begin sometime before 1600.
The rumour also refers to Kultuurikatel, a venue we liked so
much last year
that we're not surprised that we'll allegedly return there.
We've already had enquiries from at least one bottle-hoarding crap
fan overseas. You too can start catching the boost now, in
preparation for joining the fun at our PETting zoo!
And, just as eclipse-chasers have their eclipse glasses ready in
advance, make sure your beer goggles are all set to go!
26 September 2017
We are now accepting ideas (themes, beers, etc.) and donations (of
themes, beers, etc.) for the 2018 festival.
After what happened last time, we suggest not pouring crap beer
directly into your browser window.
The best approach is to e-mail the organising team at the address
tcrbf at the domain (the grex... bit) in your browser's URL bar.
Archived updates from the 2017 festival can be found here...